Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Ok so i admit, its probs really sad that i'm writing this to strangers online lol but its better than telling my friends who already know all my business and cousins who just agree with my guardians anyway...
    So i want to be a barrister - i always have done, i worked really hard at secondary school to get the grades i did and am also working hard at college, my teachers love me and i've done alot for the image of my college - going to trips abroad, representing them in conferences etc...
    Anyway, this year i went to Poland and then London a couple of times, my guardians are very strict and devoted to thier religion - this means i as an unmarried woman cannot go too far from home, ie no more trips...anyway i missed a summer school at cambridge for them and now i have this 2 day LNAT revision course in London to help with applying for law at good universities and my parents won't let me go. I've always been restricted but i feel like they are not letting me grow, the one thing i have worked towards is being a barrister and now - they won't even let me better myself in that region...
    a great percentage of barristers are from oxbridge and the system of Law is very much to do with high society - even though it has changed through the years...I don't want to go to the university in my city, it isn't that good in Law
    I don't know, i'm just frustrated that my guardians are so afraid that i'll get a life and leave them that they are actually pushing me away even further
    See my parents left me when i was 2 and my granmother brought me up - and now she's making me pay, whenever i want to go somewhere or do something - she'll always say, "i gave you so much when i didn't have to - are you really not going to listen to what i say" and guilt trips me so i don't do anything i want...i appreciate her soo much and love he unconditionally but feel like she's taking advantage of this
    I'm not even allowed to catch a bus without telling her, she's made me scared to go out and try new things and even when i do - she puts doubts in my mind
    I know this is really long and confused and probs un-readable, but i just need some outside advice - like a clean, unbiased prespective..Thanx
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Try retuning?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Religion should never be imposed on anyone imo. But what I can't understand is how a loving guardian can hold someone back from what they clearly have been working on most of their life. Try and win her round to it by saying you've been on other trips so one more wont do much harm only for 2 days etc. If not then just tell her straight as at the end of the day you need to put your own interests ahead of others and its not fair to be restricted like this.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cowsgoquack)
    Try retuning?
    :love:
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Just go. They'll have to learn eventually that you have your own life. Take a risk, don't feel guilty, and just do what YOU want to do.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by psychocustard)
    Just go. They'll have to learn eventually that you have your own life. Take a risk, don't feel guilty, and just do what YOU want to do.
    Yeah i understand what your saying, believe me i've been thinking it for a year now but its easier said than done, honestly - i'm kind of scared that i won't be able to do it on my own...like everyone thinks i'm confident but getting up and moving away with no money or contacts - is a scary proposition
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RevisingHard)
    Yeah i understand what your saying, believe me i've been thinking it for a year now but its easier said than done, honestly - i'm kind of scared that i won't be able to do it on my own...like everyone thinks i'm confident but getting up and moving away with no money or contacts - is a scary proposition
    It's scary, but there's SO much help you can get to help you along. You will be able to do it by yourself, I promise you, especially if you want something that badly, which you obviously do.

    Nobody should have to have their life restricted by someone else, especially not through fear of failing without them.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Yekim_8)
    Religion should never be imposed on anyone imo. But what I can't understand is how a loving guardian can hold someone back from what they clearly have been working on most of their life. Try and win her round to it by saying you've been on other trips so one more wont do much harm only for 2 days etc. If not then just tell her straight as at the end of the day you need to put your own interests ahead of others and its not fair to be restricted like this.
    yeah its really not fair and i also think - how can you love me while doing this, keeping me locked up,i just want to fulfill my potentiol and be the best i can be so i can have like a good future, however cheesy that sounds - but she won't let me and i don't know why. No, i know she's afraid i'll run away liek my parents but she needs to stop
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    OP- Do not let ANYONE stop you from becoming what you want to be in life. Even if they are people who are close to you. Make yourself happy and do what you've got to do. Good luck.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by psychocustard)
    It's scary, but there's SO much help you can get to help you along. You will be able to do it by yourself, I promise you, especially if you want something that badly, which you obviously do.

    Nobody should have to have their life restricted by someone else, especially not through fear of failing without them.
    Yeah i know, your right - i just fear i'm not strong enough and stuff
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RevisingHard)
    Yeah i know, your right - i just fear i'm not strong enough and stuff
    I think people often find strength from the situations they face. If you go for it you will be strong enough... you will have to be because you won't have a choice. Just make sure you are going the right way about it before you commit to a decision.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by anyothername)
    OP- Do not let ANYONE stop you from becoming what you want to be in life. Even if they are people who are close to you. Make yourself happy and do what you've got to do. Good luck.
    thanks
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RevisingHard)
    Yeah i know, your right - i just fear i'm not strong enough and stuff
    Sometimes you just really need to make a blind leap of faith and just go for it. You've not really got anything to lose.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by voudreau)
    I think people often find strength from the situations they face. If you go for it you will be strong enough... you will have to be because you won't have a choice. Just make sure you are going the right way about it before you commit to a decision.
    i know what your saying, but she was trying to marry me off to a 23 year old down the street last week lol how much more can i take? She just has this power to make me give in to things.
    i mean to leave home, like where would i go - how would i finance it would i actually be happier with all the new obstacles i'd find, i don't know
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    First things first. Look for a job so you will have some income. When you know how much you will be earning you can start to look for accommodation and take food etc into account. Would you be happier with all the obstacles? no-one knows but you definately are not happy now so it's worth the risk. Even if you were unhappy at the start you would have the chance to control your own life and it would get better day by day.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by voudreau)
    First things first. Look for a job so you will have some income. When you know how much you will be earning you can start to look for accommodation and take food etc into account. Would you be happier with all the obstacles? no-one knows but you definitely are not happy now so it's worth the risk. Even if you were unhappy at the start you would have the chance to control your own life and it would get better day by day.
    hey your really good at this whole advice thing, do you know how to drive - 'cos i need advice on that too...lol...neway thankyou - u are right, i need to take a risk and eventually end up where i want to be
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RevisingHard)
    hey your really good at this whole advice thing, do you know how to drive - 'cos i need advice on that too...lol...neway thankyou - u are right, i need to take a risk and eventually end up where i want to be
    Haha yeh I can drive too. Multi-talentend :p: Feel free to PM me if you need any advice. It's not going to be easy so you may need some more! :yep:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 3, 2009
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.