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I have BIG insecurity issues. I don't think I'll ever change, tbh. Watch

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    I'm all for the chase of a relationship, flirting etc. (not kissing or anything, never kissed a guy before :ninja: I love that excitement but knowing you're not actually in a relationship.

    But when I know it's getting serious (getting into a relationship) my insecurities kick in and it just rules everything. It's weird to say, I'm scared of getting into a relationship because I know that one day he might not want me anymore. I'm worried that I'll be a crap girlfriend, because I've never really been one before. I'm scared of being unwanted by someone that I'll probably be like/love for a long time (I haven't gone off any guys in the past - e.g. ive liked the same guy for the past three years).

    So i tend to just leave the guy, and stop flirting. I know this is really bad, but I get so scared about relationships. I recently nearly got into a relationship with a guy, I was so nervous that I literally stopped eating for a week - and I'm being deadly serious. My heart was just beating from the moment I got up, until the moment I went to bed.

    I want a boyfriend, but I just feel it's not gonna happen because of the above.
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    With that recent guy, i was scared that he might not actually like me, that it might be a joke and that he might only want me to be his girlfriend for a week or something. He might get bored of me...
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    So, in short, you're afraid of getting hurt so you don't commit yourself?
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    If you don't think you'll ever change, then there's really no point to this is there? :rolleyes:
    It helps if you're only incentive to be in a relationship is for sex. Then the seriousness is irrelevant So basically, start putting out more, prude! :mad:
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    I really want to change, but i can't.
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    (Original post by Davy-Jones)
    If you don't think you'll ever change, then there's really no point to this is there? :rolleyes:
    It helps if you're only incentive to be in a relationship is for sex. Then the seriousness is irrelevant So basically, start putting out more, prude! :mad:
    You really are a massive misogynist aren't you Davy

    In response to the OP, I'm assuming you are quite young. You will mature and become more secure in a relationship.
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    (Original post by mikeytk)
    You really are a massive misogynist aren't you Davy

    PS. Davy- Jones, Where's your sig gone? :p:
    Yes, yes I am :cool:
    The mods kept getting too many complaints so I had to remove the lesbian kiss/tongue blowjob one :sad:
    It's a cruel world :mad:
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    Oh yes, I forgot, I'm 17.
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    yeh, just make yourself available, have a meaningless relationship based on physical attraction/sex, one that you wont have all the issues over. And then chances are you will realise you can deal with your fears about relationships, and can put all of the insecurities behind you, and grow in confidence. You are now ready to deal with people you actually want to be with
    P.s. I talk a lot of ****, for your own good you probably shouldn't listen to anything I advise
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    :no: relationship based on sex?!
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    (Original post by Davy-Jones)
    Yes, yes I am :cool:
    The mods kept getting too many complaints so I had to remove the lesbian kiss/tongue blowjob one :sad:
    It's a cruel world :mad:
    Damn them! Killjoys :rolleyes:

    Why do people ask these questions on here? What do they expect. It seems it's just predetory males so far...
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    dont listen to the above. chances are a relationship purely based on sex will probably not help with your insecurities and may make them worse. not sure if i can be much help as ive been with the same guy for nearly 2 years and i still find it hard to believe that out of all the girls out there and the fact that when he goes out he gets alot of attention despite being really shy. youve just got to tell yourself that other people probably dont judge you as harshly as you do. As they say "we are our worst enemies". and if the guy likes you and hes willing to have a proper relationship with you then theres a reason for it (but your just to insecure to realise it) ....and tbh with me i get so closed up i dont even realise if someone likes me or not causei just block it out and assume they're taking the piss. or if someone stares at me in a club or something i'd assume that they're thinking "oh god shes a munter" or that i must have toilet roll on my foot or something and that the though of them staring or liking me is cause they think im pretty or something doesnt cross my mind and still doesnt. i dont think im pretty at all but i tell myself everyday that im probably being too harsh on myself and that there must be a reason why were still happy after nrly 2 years. hope that helped and sorry for the rambling but i know exactly how you feel
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    I don't agree with the relationship for sex thing. If that's not what you want, it wont help you.
    Second, there's no such thing as 'I want to change but I can't' there's only: 'I want to change but I'm scared it will be hard' which doesn't mean change unachievable it just means it is hard.

    The only advice I can give is: i know there are things about relationships that are scary, but if you hold back because of that you'll miss out on a heck of a lot of good stuff. Plus, there's no point worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet, you'll have plenty of time for that later.

    Hope I didn't sound to harsh and you feel happier soon.
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    Mikeytk, this is a H&R forum. People ask questions for advice, for other people to share their experiences. I didn't expect a bunch of guys saying random stuff. If you haven't got anything to contribute just don't post.
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    (Original post by Davy-Jones)
    Yes, yes I am :cool:
    The mods kept getting too many complaints so I had to remove the lesbian kiss/tongue blowjob one :sad:
    It's a cruel world :mad:
    You will be remembered for that sig.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm worried that I'll be a crap girlfriend, because I've never really been one before.
    Don't stress about it. Everyone has to have their first relationship sometime, yes you'll screw some things up, everyone does. But it doesn't matter. Would you dump a guy who was trying to be a good boyfriend but made a mistake ? - well the same applies for most guys. If you want to be a good girlfriend you'll be a good girlfriend.
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    erm i think all girls are like that a little bit eventhough many girls on here in threads try and make out they dont care about stuff like that. maybe you are just a little mroe so. im quite like it too although once i found the right guy it was fine. you probably just need to be shown more affection and reassurance than anyone else but maybe if you find a guy good enough he will realise that? im not sure as obviously i dont know you but i hope its all ok in the end!
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    im a bit like that

    when something seems like its gonna happen i stop and change the subject
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh yes, I forgot, I'm 17.
    then how come you've been a member since 1999? wouldn't that mean that you were 7 when you joined?...
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    I was exactly the same.

    You just got to let it happen, and see how things go.
    If they don't work out, learn from it. But don't stop it from happening before it's even started.
 
 
 
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