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Best method of making friends in school/university/life etc! Watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm remaining anon as I don't want friends to read this.

    Basically I'm going off to uni in September and was just wondering since I seemed to make a ****-up of primary school, secondary school and 6th form and don't really want University to go all Pete Tong (last chance and all). Anyway I wondered what the best method of making friends was (and this is applicable to all walks of life not just uni so I posted it in H&R).

    Is it better to have:

    a) to have one group of friends who you always go out with and have like a group of 7 core members
    Advantages: You'll always be remembered in the group
    Disadvantages: If you fall out with the group/ one prominent group member you could be left with no friends

    or

    b) to have 2 main groups of friends who you split your time hanging out with
    Advantages: more friends, diversity
    Disadvantages: You'll never really be a core member of the group i.e. if everyones taking a road trip and there are only 5 places in the car, you may get left out in favour of a 'core' member and sometimes you may be forgotten completely i.e. "Oh Jane, she's probably busy with her other group"

    Thoughts?
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    Just..Have friends. I've never categorized friends into groups with core/excess members, with each divided into subsections and assess the advantages an....bleurgh. Chill, and just let your social life be.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Yes I realise that I'm being way OTT but every educational institution I've been in I always screw up in the friend department. Like I always make one best friend or have two best friends and then that leads to major difficulties like when we drift apart or when I wanna do something different.
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    Be as camp and outrageous as possible and you'll have all the friends you need.

    But seriously have few good friends who you can trust and tell personal things and lots of friends that you can go off on a night out with etc.
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    Don't separate your friends into groups, just have friends. Simple. Your friends will be different people and so you will treat/hang out with them differently.

    Best way to make friends is to find places of social occasions so joining societies, clubs, gyms, going to night clubs and what not. If you're daring go talk to the people at a cafe.
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    I think you're over-analysing it! Making friends isn't really a strict equation. Just be happy and friendly, and open to making friends with anyone. Hopefully then you don' find yourself with such a tight small group of friends. hope that helps
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    Stop overthinking, just enjoy and socialise.
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    Don't be too picky, don't be too judgemental, embrace new different unique people (even if they are interested in things you don't necessarily like) and be open-minded, don't say no to something just because you think you won't like it, give it a try respond positively to invites and proposals made to you.

    One of the biggest mistake is hanging around 'your type' of people, the ones you're used to being with your whole life. That's completely going against the point of university (from a social point of view), experience different things and people that you havn't already. As long as you don't be so judgemental and start assuming people to be certain stereotypes, you'll get along with people and make friends!
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    Do you have an OCD or something? :confused:

    Just go up to people, say hi i'm [insert name], mind if I join you? how you guys doing? and then join the normal conversation?

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    Offer them melody pops, then compose a song together.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm remaining anon as I don't want friends to read this.

    Basically I'm going off to uni in September and was just wondering since I seemed to make a ****-up of primary school, secondary school and 6th form and don't really want University to go all Pete Tong (last chance and all). Anyway I wondered what the best method of making friends was (and this is applicable to all walks of life not just uni so I posted it in H&R).

    Is it better to have:

    a) to have one group of friends who you always go out with and have like a group of 7 core members
    Advantages: You'll always be remembered in the group
    Disadvantages: If you fall out with the group/ one prominent group member you could be left with no friends

    or

    b) to have 2 main groups of friends who you split your time hanging out with
    Advantages: more friends, diversity
    Disadvantages: You'll never really be a core member of the group i.e. if everyones taking a road trip and there are only 5 places in the car, you may get left out in favour of a 'core' member and sometimes you may be forgotten completely i.e. "Oh Jane, she's probably busy with her other group"

    Thoughts?
    i dont think you can really choose what happens really.
    take what you get.
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    (Original post by Davy-Jones)
    Don't be too picky, don't be too judgemental, embrace new different unique people (even if they are interested in things you don't necessarily like) and be open-minded, don't say no to something just because you think you won't like it, give it a try respond positively to invites and proposals made to you.

    One of the biggest mistake is hanging around 'your type' of people, the ones you're used to being with your whole life. That's completely going against the point of university (from a social point of view), experience different things and people that you havn't already. As long as you don't be so judgemental and start assuming people to be certain stereotypes, you'll get along with people and make friends!
    I was halfway through your post, only to be distracted by your Cheryl Cole BJ thingy.......hot lol.
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    I like the fact you've done this as you claim to have no friends yet:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm remaining anon as I don't want friends to read this.
    I appreciate I am being a cynical *******.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm remaining anon as I don't want friends to read this.

    Basically I'm going off to uni in September and was just wondering since I seemed to make a ****-up of primary school, secondary school and 6th form and don't really want University to go all Pete Tong (last chance and all). Anyway I wondered what the best method of making friends was (and this is applicable to all walks of life not just uni so I posted it in H&R).

    Is it better to have:

    a) to have one group of friends who you always go out with and have like a group of 7 core members
    Advantages: You'll always be remembered in the group
    Disadvantages: If you fall out with the group/ one prominent group member you could be left with no friends

    or

    b) to have 2 main groups of friends who you split your time hanging out with
    Advantages: more friends, diversity
    Disadvantages: You'll never really be a core member of the group i.e. if everyones taking a road trip and there are only 5 places in the car, you may get left out in favour of a 'core' member and sometimes you may be forgotten completely i.e. "Oh Jane, she's probably busy with her other group"

    Thoughts?
    Just be yourself. Don't go looking for friends. If people take a liking then they're the friends you want.
    I'm sure out of everyone at Uni there will be someone there.
    I think it depends how much of a sociable person you are. Go out lots = make lots of new friends/acquaintances (I'd presume anyway)
    Stay in = maybe only a few closer friends.

    Just. Be yourself!
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    Absolutely.

    Categorizing friends and sticking to a "group" is the most socially moronic thing and you point out the likely disadvatage of what if there is a fall-out with one member. People who talk about the importance of belonging to a group are very insecure themselves and if you want to succeed you must rise aove that.

    Just talk to people, join societies and you can have lots of contacts all over the place without the need to be analytical. This can only mean more invites on nights out where you can meet acqauintaces of your new found friends and you can just expand from there. Make sense.
 
 
 
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