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Scared of eating and depressed. Watch

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    Please keep anonymous or delete.

    I've been having issues with food for about a year and a half. I think that this all started when I went to Uni, and used to comfort eat whenever I got stressed out with work. I put on a bit of weight and decided to lose some flab. It started with reducing portion sizes, then cutting out carbs completely, eventually eating next to nothing. The initial weight loss of a couple of kilograms was so satisfying, that I wanted to lose more, and ended up losing 10kg within less than two months. As long as I lost weight, I didn't care about any other aspect of my health. My BMI went from about 21.5 to just less than 17...and consequently, my periods have stopped for about a year.

    I don't want to lose any more weight, I just want to maintain. But the problem is that I'm now constantly obsessed with food. I used to count calories to lose weight, but it's getting so obsessive and unbearably taking over my life. I'm so sick of myself. I would spend hours calculating the number of calories that I have consumed. It's frustrating, as I love food, but I can't let myself eat it. I end up binge eating, and feel so guilty about it that I would work out the number of calories that I have consumed in excess, and plan how I'd create a calorie deficit the next day. I've worked out my daily calorie requirements, and I'm panicked to go even 50kcal above that. And now that I'm at home for the summer, I feel so insecure about not being in control of how much I eat...I'm scared of over-eating and gaining weight.

    The other problem is that I've pretty much lost interest in everything else, especially academic work. I can't concentrate on anything as whatever I do, I just end up thinking about food. I don't know why, but I always feel so fatigued that I can hardly pull myself out of bed - even if I don't do anything. During the exams this year, I spent my time counting calories instead of revision, and went out of my way to burn off the excess even though it left me completely drained out, making revision near to impossible. I felt stupid, worthless, and thought that everyone hated me - including myself. I hated my life and just wanted everything to end...and occasionally used minor forms of self-harm to relieve myself from the negative thoughts.

    I don't know what to do. It's better during the holidays, but once term starts and the pressure sets in, I don't know if I'll be able to cope - especially with the lack of focus in more important things. I don't want my academic work to compensate.

    I saw a GP today, who was less than helpful...so please, please help.

    Sorry about the length, congrats if you've made it this far! Thanks in advance!
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    See another GP? It sounds like you're at risk of developing an eating disorder.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    See another GP? It sounds like you're at risk of developing an eating disorder.
    This is a ship that has long sailed.

    I agree with seeing another GP, ask for a referral to a psychologist who will hopefully be more helpful to you.
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    I'm the TSR H & R doctor , so feel free to consult any issues and/or problems to me.

    That's a lot of weight loss for two months , however this is a unhealthy BMI , although BMI is inacurate , 17 is still to low.

    What I suggest you do is :


    • Get motivated , you seem to have low self asteem , work out what's best for you , and realise that you're at an unhealthy weight and need to change , otherwise the problem could persist and escalate into many other problems.

    • You're clearly not eating enough , try increasing your diet by maybe a few hunder calories per week if more , until you reach a stable amount which is higher than the amount you need to gain weight. Face it you have to gain weight , there's no ifs and no buts just get on with it if you want to be happier. The reason you're feeling fatigued could be because of a lack of energy , which obviously comes from the food , which you're not eating.

    • Quit counting the amount of calories you eat , just eat the food which lies in front of your eyes. Counting calores won't help you gain weight. And quit binge eating , eat proper foods.



    I don't know what else I can say to help , I've tried. Remember you can contact me for any needs be neccessary.


    Good luck , I hope you accomplish your goal

    - Maximum Velocity
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    Let yourself go and you will feel MUCH better
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    You have admitted you have a problem that's the first step.

    If you have already tried the obvious steps I would say eat out with some friends. This is what one of my anorexic friends did when she was trying to eat again.
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    Talk to someone you can really trust, like your Mum or a close friend. Also, see another GP and also try and book an appointment with a therapist/councillor as they'll be training in helping you develop healthier thought processes needed to tackle the struggle you've got ahead with coming to grips with your problem and trying to sort it out.

    I hope you do take this advice and seek help in these other places and I wish you all the best in sorting this all out.
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    (Original post by JayB124)
    You have admitted you have a problem that's the first step.

    If you have already tried the obvious steps I would say eat out with some friends. This is what one of my anorexic friends did when she was trying to eat again.
    I would say eating out with some friends must be the worst thing to do as one of the first steps :|
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    (Original post by Melting Sugar.)
    I would say eating out with some friends must be the worst thing to do as one of the first steps :|
    This. x 100
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the replies. The thing is, I recently spoke to my bf, but he didn't really understand the concept of an eating problem, and said that I was making too big a deal out of it. He said that I had a compulsive disorder (?! :confused:) by not allowing myself to eat what I wanted. When I binged and started stressing out about it, he said that I should allow myself to gain the weight and that he'd help me to lose it a month later. I know that he's trying to help, but at the moment I'm scared of gaining any weight because I know that I'll just start not eating again to lose it.
    • #2
    #2

    you can become infertile from eating disorders so i think you go see a doc.
    when you starve yourself you feel like you could just eat and eat and eat so when you give in you end up eating tones and tones, thats why its better to eat normally
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the replies. The thing is, I recently spoke to my bf, but he didn't really understand the concept of an eating problem, and said that I was making too big a deal out of it. He said that I had a compulsive disorder (?! :confused:) by not allowing myself to eat what I wanted. When I binged and started stressing out about it, he said that I should allow myself to gain the weight and that he'd help me to lose it a month later. I know that he's trying to help, but at the moment I'm scared of gaining any weight because I know that I'll just start not eating again to lose it.
    :confused: That's a bit odd...
    It's normal that your bf or family would not understand what an eating disorder is or what you are going through. The issue is that you have to seek more professional help and get this under control before it gets worse, because it will.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the replies. The thing is, I recently spoke to my bf, but he didn't really understand the concept of an eating problem, and said that I was making too big a deal out of it. He said that I had a compulsive disorder (?! :confused:) by not allowing myself to eat what I wanted. When I binged and started stressing out about it, he said that I should allow myself to gain the weight and that he'd help me to lose it a month later. I know that he's trying to help, but at the moment I'm scared of gaining any weight because I know that I'll just start not eating again to lose it.
    How strange. :/

    Clearly he doesn't understand this, you really should talk to both someone you trust (like your Mum) and try and get an appointment with a different GP and a counsellor.
    • #3
    #3

    I actually found the whole eating with people an easier way of solving stuff when I had a similar situation
    But not eating out, like just at my house with them, makes you feel more relaxed etc

    good luckkk
    • #4
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    I guess it depends if you feel you can eat in front of people, personally that was one of the whole things of it all for me.
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    Why has no one specified anorexia here? :confused:
    Get help, darling, asap.
    Try a different GP - keep trying different GPs until they take you seriously.
    You need help now while you're still admitting a problem, otherwise you'll go so far down that road you'll just start denying it.
    PM me if you'd ever like to chat or need anything - I can't empathise with the extremity of your situation but I do understand the general principle of what's going on and would be more than happy to help you... get help? :p:
    Honestly, just do what is best for you and your health.
    Sorry I can't say any more :console: xxx
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    You need to get help really. I've been in your situation and ended up in hospital with no periods for nearly 2 years altogether(they stopped for a year then another 8 months later on and then 4 months). Gaining weight is really hard for someone with an eating disorder but sooner or later your joints are going to start aching, you'll get really bad chest pains and your blood pressure and heart rate will drop too low. Maybe you shoul go and see a dietician who can devise a healthy eating plan for you. Try gaining weight slowly and if it upsets you then don't look at the scales when the doc weighs you(this helped me a lot)
    Also, bear in mind that depression is a side effect of not eating enough carbohydrate as carbs release serotonin. In addition, the reason you think about food all the time is because you're body is in starvation mode and once you start to gain a little weight you will find that these thoughts will lessen. I thoroughly recommend that you see another GP who can refer you to a counsellor/psychotherapist or look for one yourself..most offer 6 sessions free and you can go back as many times as you want. They will help you discover why you developed an eating disorder, help you form the courage to overcome it and develop new coping skills so it doesn't return.
    Have a look at www.beat.co.uk and www.somethingfishy.org. good luck and let me know how you get on
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    It sounds like you need to get some help. It's also quite possible that you've developed an eating disorder. Just because it isn't clear that you are anorexic or bulimic, doesn't mean that you don't have an eating disorder. The first step is to see your GP who will make the appropriate referrals.
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    (Original post by malleablegrace)
    Why has no one specified anorexia here? :confused:
    Get help, darling, asap.
    Try a different GP - keep trying different GPs until they take you seriously.
    You need help now while you're still admitting a problem, otherwise you'll go so far down that road you'll just start denying it.
    PM me if you'd ever like to chat or need anything - I can't empathise with the extremity of your situation but I do understand the general principle of what's going on and would be more than happy to help you... get help? :p:
    Honestly, just do what is best for you and your health.
    Sorry I can't say any more :console: xxx
    best advice given really ^
    & xxhoneyxx04's
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    (Original post by xxhoneyxx04)
    You need to get help really. I've been in your situation and ended up in hospital with no periods for nearly 2 years altogether(they stopped for a year then another 8 months later on and then 4 months). Gaining weight is really hard for someone with an eating disorder but sooner or later your joints are going to start aching, you'll get really bad chest pains and your blood pressure and heart rate will drop too low. Maybe you shoul go and see a dietician who can devise a healthy eating plan for you. Try gaining weight slowly and if it upsets you then don't look at the scales when the doc weighs you(this helped me a lot)
    Also, bear in mind that depression is a side effect of not eating enough carbohydrate as carbs release serotonin. In addition, the reason you think about food all the time is because you're body is in starvation mode and once you start to gain a little weight you will find that these thoughts will lessen. I thoroughly recommend that you see another GP who can refer you to a counsellor/psychotherapist or look for one yourself..most offer 6 sessions free and you can go back as many times as you want. They will help you discover why you developed an eating disorder, help you form the courage to overcome it and develop new coping skills so it doesn't return.
    Have a look at www.beat.co.uk and www.somethingfishy.org. good luck and let me know how you get on
    This!

    I know I've already commented but the above is excellent advice.

    I know someone who had anorexia for 6 years and she still can't put on weight - people are actually scared to look at her. She's never had a period in her life. Her muscles are wasted away, she's just sinewy and a walking skeleton. Her clothes hang off her - you can even see her bum bones (which I didn't notice on anyone before her, I had no idea what they looked like) - her trousers bunch up at the back as she has no bum, literally.
    She is such a naturally beautiful girl as well, it's heartbreaking. I know that it's not about looks, but it's obviously a side effect which can make you feel so much worse and have awful consequences in itself, kind of a self-perpetuating cycle.

    Having seen what it can lead to first hand, it's so encouraging that you're seeking help right now. I would really take notice of xxhoneyxx04's advice - it could really change things. :yes:

    Also, I have an illness which has many of the same side effects as eating disorders when they get really serious. I couldn't have changed anything about my illness though - whereas you can get help before it gets 'too' serious and if I had the chance I would jump at it, honestly. embrace your health and look after yourself, you deserve it.

    Good luck.
 
 
 
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