This year I finished my second year exams, and half way through them I lost all appreciation for education itself and had a semi-crisis, during which I essentially asked myself over and over 'what the bloody hell am I doing here?'.
I come from a working class family, I'm the first one ever in my family to have gone to university, and education isn't really respected at all in my family and the general area I come from. I used to see work as a sort of emanipation from my chavvy, drug ridden, disgusting town. At school my teachers were poor, most of the other students wanted to be elsewhere and being knowledgable and actually doing the work carried a sort of social stigma.
I am very passionate about a subject that I chose not to take at university, and I choose an option that would benefit me financially in the long run. I'm at a top university, and I'm doing pretty well for myself academically.
The thing is, I now treat education and university with contempt, I often panic about whether or not I am wasting my time at university, and whether or not I am actually contributing to society or my own long term happiness and wellbeing. I am aware of the economic and cultural rewards from education but I have lost a passion for it. A lot of this may be from the fact that I read a lot about philosophy, politics, linguistics and subjects which are deemed 'useless' on a piece of paper, yet from which I get a lot of personal satisfaction; and that I find studying my own productive subject very laborious and soulless. I really really loathe having had to make a choice between personal satisfaction and long run benefit.
I can't explain what exactly my feelings are, I have just lost a lot of passion. Anybody feel the same?
I need reassurance on the value of education and knowledge Watch
- 04-08-2009 02:01
- 04-08-2009 02:02
Sorry if that's unclear and doesn't follow, I've had a fair bit to drink.
- 04-08-2009 02:05
It's strange how different people's experiences are of this. I'm was a 'first in the family' too, yet in my family and area it is seen as a great privilege to be able to go to university.
I've always been one to advocate pursuing something you are interested in and have ability at as these are both needed for contentment with you degree. You have two choices really; start again or push through to the end and go off and get a job doing something you find more interesting.
- 04-08-2009 02:08
Well I didn't choose a more productive subject over a useless one, but I can see why your doing so has led to stuff like that. Your degree doesn't seem to fulfil you intellectually and so you're just switching off. For me that is of the utmost importance, if I had to choose education based on economic returns I would lose all respect for it as well.
Basically your degree has become like a crap job. I can't really help with reassuring you on that front, but I can say that even if you aren't interested in your degree it will be economically valuable, and learning in general, when it is something that does fulfil you, is worth it purely because it does.
- 04-08-2009 03:00
Having a degree is always good. The experience of having taken oneself through one etc.
Maybe though, you could see if there are possibilites to switch programme, depending on what you are reading.
Maybe if you are for example studying Business or something similar, you could perhaps switch to economics/related programme etc.? If its possible in your department, you could also perhaps choose outside modules. Something which won't change the overall stream of your programme, but at least let you try something else.
Also you have the options of continuing your studies after your bachelor. Maybe a master in Politics, Philosophy etc?
If you find it totally off-putting maybe you should do something else. However, see what options there are?
- 04-08-2009 03:15
I think i can kinda of relate OP.
you mean you chose a course you was not 100% passionate about and did a compromise on a subject/ university, you thought was beneficial in the long run?
- 04-08-2009 16:51
- 06-08-2009 01:55
What do you study? You have one year left?