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How do you tell someone you don't want to know them anymore? watch

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    This is an awful situation. I sympathize greatly with you both. Its so hard too because leaving her would break her spirit and the fact she hasn't got long left as it is is heartbreaking. Do you really want her to spend the last part of her life unhappy and heartbroken knowing full well you were responsible. Then again, at the same time, why should you be burdened with a girl you don't really want just because you feel sorry for her.
    I don't really think lying to her is a good idea. Its not fair to lie to a dieing girl and allowing her to live a lie under this false illusion. Even if it breaks her heart, you will have to tell her. Nor is it fair to you to have to pretend you love someone you don't. Explain you never intended it to go this far, and as much as you care for her, you want it to cool off.
    Honesty is the best policy!
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    (Original post by Colonel Brusnahan)
    Can't you like tell her that you can only see her once in a while? Like don't cut off contact completely but just slim it down to maybe once a holiday or whatever. And when you do that, easier for you to break away completely, I suppose.
    That was the plan anyway... but even keeping contact by text I don't want cos she'll just remind me of this summer, and this summer isn't something I want to be reminded of for several reasons. I want to go back to Dundee and just move on completely.... another fresh start.. that's the kind of person I am
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    (Original post by xxrachelmolyneuxx)
    This is an awful situation. I sympathize greatly with you both. Its so hard too because leaving her would break her spirit and the fact she hasn't got long left as it is is heartbreaking. Do you really want her to spend the last part of her life unhappy and heartbroken knowing full well you were responsible. Then again, at the same time, why should you be burdened with a girl you don't really want just because you feel sorry for her.
    I don't really think lying to her is a good idea. Its not fair to lie to a dieing girl and allowing her to live a lie under this false illusion. Even if it breaks her heart, you will have to tell her. Nor is it fair to you to have to pretend you love someone you don't. Explain you never intended it to go this far, and as much as you care for her, you want it to cool off.
    Honesty is the best policy!

    I don't pretend to love her, and I never have - she knows that I view us only as friends and I wanted nothing more the whole way through. Hmmm... I'm being suaded more and more to just gradually lose contact and hope she gives up....
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    Thats what I do with people I don't like for one reason or another - just stop talking to them and try and remove contact from them over time :P
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    Didn't u post earlier on sometime about ur realtionship with this girl? Anyways I wouldn't cut contact with her completely and especially not from one day to another as I think that would break her heart completely. What I would do is reduce is steadily and maybe do something not so nice every once in a while so that she will back off a bit and will stop liking you..if u know what I mean
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    I don't think you need to feel guilty. I wouldn't want to keep in contact with someone I don't want to out of some sense of duty. I would suggest just becoming more and more distant, but I have been in similar situations (not with anyone dying, but wanting to cut all contact with someone who has no idea I want to do that and thinks I really like them); everytime I got a txt from that person it just reminded me of him and ruined my day, because I wanted to forget all about him and move on and have fun. Every txt kind of reminded me that I am wasting my time talking to this person when I don't want to and shouldn't have to.

    So I would suggest approaching it head on. Tell her you want to move on, make a fresh start at uni, and you feel that your relationship with her is so laden with emotional baggage that keeping it would hinder your fresh start.
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    You sure she's dying?
    Maybe she is just saying that to make you feel guilty and trap you. Just an idea
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    Yeah.... I think I've been sold on the gradually cutting contact thing...
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    "I don't want to know you anymore"
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    (Original post by BossManSingh)
    You sure she's dying?
    Maybe she is just saying that to make you feel guilty and trap you. Just an idea
    Yeah I'm really sure lol - not going to say why on here though
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    "I don't want to know you anymore"
    Haha, yeah or you could be extremely blunt in that way. It could effectively end things fast but would cause more pain :p:
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    Nah, i'll do the gradual cut off... I'm out of town the next 4 weekends (the only times I would see her is at the weekend) - and then I'm back to uni... So it'll be easy enough to just avoid her.. then I'll do the usual "busy for uni" malarky
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    She's dying. She's not going to be around forever and be 'bugging' you. Why not just be there for support until her dying days? It's not much to ask for. I also think that maybe you should think about it in reverse, if you were the one in her shoes for a change.
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    I can tell you instantly that the whole drag out the friendship with intentions to end it is much more painful than just telling us right from the beginning that you don't really feel close anymore.

    Don't do it. It's such a rubbish thing to do to someone else who values you as a friend. When you tell someone you value them, but don't bother with contact it just makes no sense and produces lots of question.

    Find a different method.
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    (Original post by latot)
    Nah, i'll do the gradual cut off... I'm out of town the next 4 weekends (the only times I would see her is at the weekend) - and then I'm back to uni... So it'll be easy enough to just avoid her.. then I'll do the usual "busy for uni" malarky

    Hey OP, if you're still here...

    GET A GIRLFRIEND?

    Or pretend to get one.
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    Oh and he doesn't have to stay with her just because she's dying.
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    Oh and he doesn't have to stay with her just because she's dying.
    Exactly this. My dad died of cancer just over a month ago. My granny died last year. I've had enough of death and I'm trying to deal with all this and so much more. I just recently made an epiphany of fighting depression and am on the up - and she just brings me down.


    (Original post by Tombola)
    I can tell you instantly that the whole drag out the friendship with intentions to end it is much more painful than just telling us right from the beginning that you don't really feel close anymore.

    Find a different method.
    Perhaps in normal circumstances, but these are, by far, normal. Any suggestions for another method?


    (Original post by Pink Liquid)
    She's dying. She's not going to be around forever and be 'bugging' you. Why not just be there for support until her dying days? It's not much to ask for. I also think that maybe you should think about it in reverse, if you were the one in her shoes for a change.
    Like Davezk said - just because she is dying, why should I be responsible and take upon her problems as well as my own? I haven't even known her that long!!
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    you don't
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    dude, she is dying, and you want to block off ALL contact with her? come on, live with it.
    she relies on you so much and you are literally gonna kill her emotionally just cos you cannot take it? think man
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    (Original post by latot)
    Yeah I'm really sure lol - not going to say why on here though
    What does she have then? Sorry I'm very curious. I was going to say that she might be making it up as well.

    If shes that unstable you can't just ditch her, gradually cutting contact is probably the best way. Take forever to reply to her texts etc.
 
 
 
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