Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How do you tell someone you don't want to know them anymore? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tombola)
    Two above. That's just being unrealistic, she's already been around for longer than expected.
    How long are you willing to live a lie?
    Thank you tombola, this exactly!



    Seriously people, before you reply, read the whole thread! She could be alive for many many years to come! And I do not want to know her - she isn't the nicest of people, and not someone that I would normally hang out with.



    (Original post by La Esmerelda)
    If she hasn't got long left to live please don't make her last days miserable. Tell her that you still want to remain friends (!) but that you've got a lot on your plate and may have to cut down on the amount you talk. But won't you even be sad when she dies? She's obv. lonely.
    (Original post by Tootles)
    Yeah. If she's dying and she loves you, let her die happy. Not very often does anyone get a chance to, these days.
    (Original post by DeanK22)
    I think you should pull your tampon out and stay with her - you yourself seem to have problems, breaking up with someone terminally ill is what is technically known as being a prick.
    (Original post by Reue)
    Dont be so hasty to try and completly remove someone from your life. It's a massive decision which you may almost instantly regret, not to mention its usually very very difficult, especially when you used to be close.

    Prehaps you could just make it clear to her that you only want to be normal friends?
    Why should I have to stay with her just because she's dying? If I knew one of my friends was only friends with me because I was dying, I'd be very angry/upset indeed!! We're NOT that close! We've only seen each other 7 times (over 5 weeks). At first it was a bit of fun like, and I made it clear that that's all I wanted, and that's what she said too. Then she told me she loves me, and I don't want that cos I don't have feelings for her and I'll be off to uni soon anyway and I don't do long-distance.

    I won't regret getting her out of my life... whenever I was really badly depressed, what helped me mostly get over it was removing negative people from my life - people that did me no good. And she is one of those people, I can't have her make me slip into depression again, it's a place I NEVER want to go back to. And it's enough of a fight to stay out of it already.
    • #3
    #3

    I believe in karma,, and u should stay with her for selfless reasons, and learn to see the good things in her, there are some in everyone (sorry for being so corny!), it's normal for her to be very very weird, since she is dying,, but if u can make her last days great, basically ur her addiction. I believe that somewhere along the line, u will be repaid in this life for doing something good for someone else..

    u will never understand how bad what ur thinking of doing is, until ur the 2nd person, like they said, u'll be off to uni soon and u'll only text etc..

    i can only see u regretting leaving her in the future.. goodluck!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by white_haired_wizard)
    expires? What an appropriate word.
    I'm guessing your not Gujarati, cos our word for 'passing' can be translated to expired lol.




    Anyway, if I was in OPs position I'd just ride it out, be open about where you stand. Otherwise you really seem like you'll ruin some part of the time that she remains.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeSiFiEd)
    I'm guessing your not Gujarati, cos our word for 'passing' can be translated to expired lol.




    Anyway, if I was in OPs position I'd just ride it out, be open about where you stand. Otherwise you really seem like you'll ruin some part of the time that she remains.
    I'm sure death.drop was using 'expired' in the Gujarati context :rolleyes:

    Seemed more like a cold and heartless employment of the word to me. Maybe I'm mistaken....

    nb: I have the Indian flag up because I like the country and the flag, not because I'm Indian myself or of Indian origin.
    • #3
    #3

    i just read ur post (3 above),, so i change my mind,, now i really dont know what to say!! a strong person can handle it all,, but we're all weak ppl.. so maybe it would be too much,, and i know what u mean about negative ppl, im the same.. I think u should be honest in a kind way, constructive honesty.. u wanna be careful what u say though,, consider her feelings,, plus she's emotional
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by white_haired_wizard)
    I'm sure death.drop was using 'expired' in the Gujarati context :rolleyes:

    Seemed more like a cold and heartless employment of the word to me. Maybe I'm mistaken....

    nb: I have the Indian flag up because I like the country and the flag, not because I'm Indian myself or of Indian origin.
    oh lol I know he was just saying it quite cold-hearted, just thought it was a useless bit of trivia lol.

    Oh I see, nice to know
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    **MAJOR UPDATE**


    Right... well... last night and today I had been texting her a little less, and making the messages a little shorter... and during my lunch she texted me saying about how she noticed i've been acting different for over a week (hadn't really noticed haha) and how she thinks that I'm unsure about us.... I'll give her this: she's got a damned good intuition!!

    Long story short:- she knows I don't like her. I told her I will always remember the times we spent together and they did mean a lot to me (cos they did at the time), etc. She said that she is gutted, but she's been through worse and will get over it. That she appreciates the time we spent together aswell, and is greatful for me coming clean with her.

    We're going to remain strictly friends.

    I'll keep in touch with her, but keep it to a minimum.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Good stuff.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by latot)
    **MAJOR UPDATE**

    Right, there's been an update on this on page 4. Follow this link to see:

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...9#post20442459

    -----------------------------------
    -----------------------------------

    Right.. long story short, I've been.... fooling around with this girl for the past 5 weeks-ish. The pretense of our relationship was "friends with benefits" and that was working out quite well, then 2 weeks ago she told me she loved me... which was still okay cos she only wanted to be friends as well....

    I thought I really cared about her and felt deeply for her as well, but wasn't too sure..... but now I've come to a decision...


    I don't want to even know her anymore...

    She's very emotionally (and tbh, mentally) unstable - and has come to rely on me a lot, and is ALWAYS texting me - at first I was fine with it.. but now I get a text from her and I just can't be bothered. She has too much emotional baggage and has grown too dependent on me - and my life is too messed up right now to be carrying both baggages.

    The plan was to stay friends when I went back to uni (i'm currently at home, and I'm rarely here - only during holidays) and to stay in touch, and I'd see her when I was back home...... but I don't want to anymore.... I want to go back to uni and never bother about her again...

    The problem is... she has a really REALLY hard life, and is very unstable, and really doesn't have long left to live (already surpassed what the doctors told her she had) -- so how do I cut off all contact with her as gently as possible? Or even make it seem like it's me..... basically I don't want her to get too upset (obv i'm gonna have to upset her somehow)....

    Any ideas?

    I know this seems an awful thing to do, and I feel a little guilty... but if you knew this girl you'd understand! I'm 21, she's 18 btw.

    personally i think you sound like abit of a tool.
    shes better off without you
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Hula129)
    personally i think you sound like abit of a tool.
    shes better off without you

    a girl who speaks her mind.... where've you been hiding pretty girl
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Kind of think she is ************ you about the dying thing tbh. If she isn't then you must be a bit of a tosser to ditch someone in that situation.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 3.14159265358979323846264)
    Kind of think she is ************ you about the dying thing tbh. If she isn't then you must be a bit of a tosser to ditch someone in that situation.
    why would someone lie about something like that



    hi random anon person :p:
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Hula129)
    why would someone lie about something like that



    hi random anon person :p:

    i didnt even get my own quote

    you can repay me....
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i didnt even get my own quote

    you can repay me....
    haha ow i do apologise....

    apology isnt enough ? :O
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hula129)
    why would someone lie about something like that



    hi random anon person :p:


    For attention etc
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hula129)
    personally i think you sound like abit of a tool.
    shes better off without you
    (Original post by 3.14159265358979323846264)
    Kind of think she is ************ you about the dying thing tbh. If she isn't then you must be a bit of a tosser to ditch someone in that situation.

    Have you even read the rest of the posts? I explain myself much better..... In a nutshell:

    - she is violent
    - she is an angry person
    - she is clingy
    - we've met 7 times and she claims to love me
    - I don't have feelings for her
    - staying with her and LYING to her about how I feel is an insult to her, I know I wouldn't want someone to lie to me just cos I was dying
    - my dad and granny recently died, I have enough death and emotional trauma of my own to deal with
    - I am still fighting against my own depression, and people like this bring me back down into it; and I'm NOT doing that to myself after all the work and fighting I did to get out of it


    Read the rest of the posts, and most importantly, the update.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Hula129)
    haha ow i do apologise....

    apology isnt enough ? :O
    digits ?

    only solution im afraid
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    digits ?

    only solution im afraid

    i think ill live with the guilt :p:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 5, 2009
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.