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Living together replaces 'dating' after age 20? Watch

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    hi fools,
    i have noticed among my firends, that it seems after age 20, you meet someone go for a drink once or twice, start sleeping together and then instead of the m going out together, it turns into 'want to come over' which , combined with staying over every few nights turns into moving in together, in many case, after only dating for say 2 - 3 weeks, then they stay like that until something major happens or in a couple years they get bored, or they settle into a rut living with the same person until they've been living together for 10 years and decide to get married. anyone else notice this?
    i dont want to live with a guy im not married to, so guys still take me out properly, for dinner, or to do things, or even to the park and since im not sleeping with them i dont fall into this trap of just becoming the live in gf. but my friends view my dating as not committed since im not living with the guy. whatever happend to dating and courtship? do guys prefer teh former since taking a girl out a couple of times is less effort then she moves in? why dont girls expect more from a guy?
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    I imagine its more about bills.

    If I was a 20 something with my own place, I'd want someone to move in to help pay for the groceries and things.
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    i know, but do you think this is sad that marriage is borne out of this sort of convenience and not necessarily out of love
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    Hell no, I wouldn't live with someone I was dating. I wouldn't date someone though, so meh.
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    Yup it's sad alright, but these days, marriage is more of a financial convenience. The religious aspects it was founded on are certainly ignored for the most part.
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    I'd say date alot before moving in, but definitely move in before getting married. Otherwise you don't really know if you're compatible in terms of living together.
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    (Original post by George231086)
    I'd say date alot before moving in, but definitely move in before getting married. Otherwise you don't really know if you're compatible in terms of living together.
    i agree
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    Moving in before the age of 23 at least is too young. You haven't been independent enough yet
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    Moving in makes more sense than getting married.

    It costs a fortune to get married and then you'll have to save up to get a house together.. getting a deposit is pretty much the cost of a wedding, and at least you have something financially to show for it afterwards if it all goes pear shaped.
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    (Original post by tayalouise)
    Moving in before the age of 23 at least is too young. You haven't been independent enough yet
    Some people marry at the age of 18. There are some independent ones out there.
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    That would be considered moving waaaaaaaaay to fast in my book.

    Besides, chances are that you'll grow tired of each other if you spend every freaking day together.
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    If I was casually dating I wouldn't let them move in with me but if we got uber-serious then maybe she could and I wouldn't just get married for the sake of money and bills; I'd want to marry someone out of love. Same with having a kid, I'd have to be married before letting a girl pop out my child.
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    Do most people do that? Well it is cheaper but then again if they're actually genuine then it's the added benefit of having a good partner and saving money :P

    I don't thinking moving in replaces dating all together, just probably for a select few people.
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    I guess if you meet a guy with a similar mindset or a guy who is willing to comply with your wishes, it will not be a problem.

    I think moving in together is a natural progression really, but of course there is nothing wrong with not doing it. Also, it doesn't mean that the couple stop going out for dinner, to the cinema etc, they can still do that! Although it's often cheaper to stay in
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    hi fools,
    i have noticed among my firends, that it seems after age 20, you meet someone go for a drink once or twice, start sleeping together and then instead of the m going out together, it turns into 'want to come over' which , combined with staying over every few nights turns into moving in together, in many case, after only dating for say 2 - 3 weeks, then they stay like that until something major happens or in a couple years they get bored, or they settle into a rut living with the same person until they've been living together for 10 years and decide to get married. anyone else notice this?
    i dont want to live with a guy im not married to, so guys still take me out properly, for dinner, or to do things, or even to the park and since im not sleeping with them i dont fall into this trap of just becoming the live in gf. but my friends view my dating as not committed since im not living with the guy. whatever happend to dating and courtship? do guys prefer teh former since taking a girl out a couple of times is less effort then she moves in? why dont girls expect more from a guy?
    That sounds pretty much like what my boyfriend and I do, but that's more to do with the fact that neither of us has any money and therefore can't go out (can't even afford Wetherspoons at the moment )
    But we're not anywhere near the moving in together stage. I'm moving into halls after the summer but will only be half an hour away. So I get the best of both worlds, really
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    Living together is a practical solution if you spend most of your time together anyway.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    i know, but do you think this is sad that marriage is borne out of this sort of convenience and not necessarily out of love
    Is there really a difference between getting married and living together for a long time? As long as you have the same commitment to stay together, then I don't really see any.

    So the only question here really is whether people should live together before getting married (assuming they plan on getting married one day) - and in my opinion the answer is yes, because you need to see whether you can stand living together in the long-run.
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    (Original post by BrinnyUnlimited)
    Yup it's sad alright, but these days, marriage is more of a financial convenience. The religious aspects it was founded on are certainly ignored for the most part.
    :yes: Oh so correct. That's why having marriages and civil partnerships is simply a dumb thing to do.

    Churches won't marry two gays that actually care to be married in that church, but they will marry all other people who couldn't give a **** less about the church.

    Churches themselves have lost their values and if they don't respect their own values, who will?
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    I wouldn't let a girl move in with me til I had been in a serious relationship for at least 6 months. To be honest, I'd probably wait til at least one of our house contracts has run out. Moving in after a few weeks dating is moving FAST.
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    as far as im aware it isnt something you do once you turn 20!
    im 21 and dont live with my bf! (maybe thats because we live 5 hours apart!!!) when he does come home we tend to stay over each others houses each night to see each other. that has nothing to do with money just wanting to see each other!
    i would def not marry him without living wih him 1st tho - you dont know how things would work if you havent lived together!
 
 
 
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