Living together replaces 'dating' after age 20?

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I don't know anyone in that situation, OP. Certainly it wasn't that way with me - we dated for three and a half years (admittedly LD) before moving in together. We've now been living together for 11 months and have been engaged for one month of that, so I'd say things were progressing quite nicely and logically :biggrin:

When we moved in together, I was 22 and he was 27! Hardly babies. I know people who married/had babies at 22...now that's scary.
There is no denying that living together does save more money than living alone, but that wasn't why we did it. We've always known that one day we wanted to marry, too, so it hasn't been a case of moving in together and deciding that it's convenient so we might as well get married.

George231086

I'd say date alot before moving in, but definitely move in before getting married. Otherwise you don't really know if you're compatible in terms of living together.

Basically this. I'd then add that I think marriage THEN kids, but that wasn't what the OP was asking.

Reply 61

shinytoy

RoosterUK

Hmm, I can sort of understand where you are coming from. I've never lived with someone but I can see how it goes quickly from dating to practically living together... but thats just hanging out at each others houses because its cheaper than going out all the time surely. Plus you would kinda run out of ideas if you had to have a proper date every couple of days haha

i think this is why people end up going from first meeting, to living together weeks later. but how do you stop this from happening - whne you want to be with someone, you want to spend alot of time with them and once you start sharing a bed, you end up having breakfast and dinner together, then it makes sense to move in bit by bit, staying more and more nights a week.

how to stop this happening?

also, if im not sleeping with a guy or moving in with him until im engaged to him, how can i get him to have a serious relationship if everyone else is moving in and living together within a few weeks/months.

Reply 62

Angelil

Just do what you want to do, and sod everyone else. End of thread :tongue:

Reply 63

shinytoy

Angelil

Just do what you want to do, and sod everyone else. End of thread :tongue:

that would be the end of EVERY hr thread

Reply 64

tinywings

Getting married before living together is risky, you'll have no idea what they're like to live with!

I don't really agree with moving in with someone you've only been going out with a few weeks/months. Though I guess having someone to split the rent with is a tempting prospect.

I'm moving in with my boyfriend next month. We've been going out for over three years, so it seems like a logical step really.

Reply 65

shinytoy

but do you think that if you like someone, moving in with them after say a few weeks is good because then you get to know them alot faster and more closely than dating which is a bit fake. if you live with someone it is a faster way to see if your right for each other or not. also it makes the relationship alot more serious and makes the guy commit faster since he cannot cheat if he lives with you

Reply 66

Angelil

lolcats. Plenty of husbands and wives live together and cheat on each other. If you think that living under the same roof precludes cheating, then you're naive.

I don't think it's a substitute for dating, no. I think the dating process is important and that living together is a big step. Plus, I think a lot of people don't take dating to solely mean going out on actual dates; plenty of couples who are seeing each other just spend a lot of time at each other's houses just chilling out. I think that spending time with each other in this way is another important intermediary before living together that isn't worth cutting out.

Reply 67

i like tea

take it from someone whos done this. look after your youth and enjoy it, it only comes around once. i realise now that i was young and foolish to live with the guy aftre a few months, have been living with him for a yr and a half now. thankfully i realise this was a mistake at 19 and not 29 so i still have time to pick up the pieces, move on and enjoy the 2nd year of uni and do things like i should have done last year

Reply 68

shinytoy

do you think that living together improves the relationship and brings you closer OR do you think it makes the relationship stagnant - what was once special now you get to see him/her doing mundane boring things like mowing the lawn or cutting toenails.
is moving in together also a good way for men to get the benefits or marriage without any commitment hence how people end up living together for 10 years before tieing the knowt

Reply 69

Angelil

I've been living with my fiancé now for nearly a year, and I wouldn't even say that the novelty of it has worn off yet, yet alone made the relationship stagnant :smile: