So, I didn't make any proper friends in first year. I met my boyfriend, but I don't wanna rely on him for company!
I dunno what I did wrong... well, I was really shy in lectures and didn't go to many anyway. And I guess to some people I'd come across as a bit intimidating, or sometimes serious. I used to be really shy so I'm **** at this stuff!
But anyway, I'm moving in a flat with a couple of my ex-housemates, and three random new people. I'm half-relying on these new flatmates to spice things up a bit (my housemates last year weren't incredibly sociable), but also hoping to join societies too, which I REALLY wish I'd done last year.
I just get jealous when I hear about uni people going to visit each other, going on holidays together, and Facebooking each other about how much they love and miss each other etc. And if uni is where you make friends for life, then so far I'm ******! I don't wanna become an old cat lady!![]()
Bit worried that in second year people aren't as open to each other, or freshers in societies will cling to each other... I find it hard enough to be open as it is.
Any advice, dya reckon I could do a social U-Turn?
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elixira
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- 05-08-2009 15:12
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never killed a man
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- 05-08-2009 15:16
nope. give up now.
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- 05-08-2009 15:20
You shouldn't really be anyone your not, cus you will always get found out, but then again you have the opportunity to be who-ever you want so... Contradicting I know
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timetokill
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- 05-08-2009 15:23
Second year is generally where proper friendships are made (in mine and friends experiences anyway, we've all said it) so Im sure you'll be fine.
First years all about meeting people and friendships of convenience. You tend to find that alot of people who were friends in first year dont seem to keep in contact as much once they arent living up the hall from eachother and stuff.
I still talk to maybe 5 people max who I met in first year, you have nothing to worry about -
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- 05-08-2009 15:24
Of course you can!
Since it's your second year it might be a bit more difficult because many people already have a group of friends, but you'll manage. Just go to lectures and sit next to people you've never talked to (that's what I used to do when I wanted to get to know new people). You will sit next to unsociable people now and then, but you'd be suprised how easily you can make new friends this way.
When I was at university I didn't make new friends immediately because people found me a bit strange (I'm kind of boring, rather silent, always pay attention during lectures and make notes like a madwoman), so I just started talking to them instead of waiting for them to come to me. And it worked
Don't worry - be yourself, be spontaneous and friendly and you'll have a bunch of homies in no time -
AlphaTango
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- 05-08-2009 15:25
Just make an effort to socialise in the first few weeks and once people know you, you can relax and be yourself for the rest of the year. It's only the initial ones where you need to talk to people, go to lectures, societies, nights out, events etc. Just go for it
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- 05-08-2009 15:26
(Original post by elixira)
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sugarplumragdoll
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- 05-08-2009 15:28
My ex hated his first year, but he met friends for life in his second. So yes, I believe it's possible to turn things round!
Although I made really good friends last year, I'm still hoping to make more in second year. At university you're meeting people constantly, I'm sure you won't have any trouble - joining societies is a really good idea first off. Get to know your new flatmates, but also neighbours and people you live near. If you have group work in seminars or tutorials talk to these people (as in a smaller group it will be easier to form bonds)
I think just talk to as many people as you can, and say yes to all invitations as you never know what will happen or who you will meet! Just stay positive about it all -
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- 05-08-2009 15:31
my mum always says 'it's never too late'
.. cheesiness aside, lots of people will move out of halls (i think) so u'll get more one on one time with people that you might not be as close with atm and then of course, u cud always befriend scared first years' who could do with your experiences and insights.
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sugarplumragdoll
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- 05-08-2009 18:39
(Original post by Preeka)
my mum always says 'it's never too late'.. cheesiness aside, lots of people will move out of halls (i think) so u'll get more one on one time with people that you might not be as close with atm and then of course, u cud always befriend scared first years' who could do with your experiences and insights.
This is true, one of the best friends I made last year was a second year, and I loved that he could show me the good places to go and such. -
elixira
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- 05-08-2009 18:48
(Original post by sugarplumragdoll)
My ex hated his first year, but he met friends for life in his second. So yes, I believe it's possible to turn things round!
Although I made really good friends last year, I'm still hoping to make more in second year. At university you're meeting people constantly, I'm sure you won't have any trouble - joining societies is a really good idea first off. Get to know your new flatmates, but also neighbours and people you live near. If you have group work in seminars or tutorials talk to these people (as in a smaller group it will be easier to form bonds)
I went to hardly any seminars last year, I don't think that helped at all! Realised though it probably affected me more socially rather than grades-wise.
(Original post by timetokill)
Second year is generally where proper friendships are made (in mine and friends experiences anyway, we've all said it) so Im sure you'll be fine.
(Original post by _Claudia_)
Just go to lectures and sit next to people you've never talked to (that's what I used to do when I wanted to get to know new people). You will sit next to unsociable people now and then, but you'd be suprised how easily you can make new friends this way.
When I was at university I didn't make new friends immediately because people found me a bit strange (I'm kind of boring, rather silent, always pay attention during lectures and make notes like a madwoman), so I just started talking to them instead of waiting for them to come to me. And it workedI didn't go to that many last year, but I remember in some of the ones I did go to, I spoke to people.
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