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Why do i feel so horrible about a good friend having sex :( Watch

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    1. Read through this: http://www.theonion.com/content/opin...rted_dating_it

    2. If the guy sounds like you --> Cut off all contact with her and in a few months you'll be over her hopefully.

    If the guy doesn't sound like you --> Probably stillllll might be worth your while cutting off all contact for a short amount of time to let you breathe.
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    (Original post by Mazija)
    u fancy her.
    dont ever date her.
    please dont. trust me
    Whats that supposed to mean

    (Original post by punktopia)
    On the plus side you can now concentrate on working to destroy her relationship. She probably still won't go out with you, but at least she won't be going out with him either.
    I dont want to do that, shes basically all alone at her college apart from him. I think she slept with him to keep him. argh i cant think about it any more.

    I would go out but i havnt been out in months, no one to go with, too depressed = too scared/nervous/timid, would just end up crying somewhere on my own.
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    You're jealous and you like her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Whats that supposed to mean



    I dont want to do that, shes basically all alone at her college apart from him. I think she slept with him to keep him. argh i cant think about it any more.

    I would go out but i havnt been out in months, no one to go with, too depressed = too scared/nervous/timid, would just end up crying somewhere on my own.
    its a carbon-copy story that im sure, as well as myself, so many other people have experienced.

    The guy and girl are best friends in high school, like bro+sis.
    One begins fancying the other. But all sorts of obstacles like bfs, gfs get in the way.
    Eventually, they do get together and have a successful relationship for.. lets say 2-5 years. They grow up together. Become adults together. Share all those new experiences together and each fall in love for the first time in their lives because, lets face it, falling in love with your best friend is the ultimate dream.
    Then, it all breaks down for a variety of reasons, mainly that you're both too young to be that serious and you have missed out on OTHER experiences.... and sooo the good friendship you once shared at 17 has now turned into bitter hatred when you are both 23. And your heart is broken in a way that it won't ever be fixed back to how it was... although the pain will be pretty much forgotten.
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    Stop being such a woman.
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    There's a film called Get Over It that may help you out.
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    #1

    I guess i could take a break but, need someone else to fill in the role of keeping me alive when i get too depressed. Not been that super bad in a while, but, i can fall there quite quickly

    And yeah i need my own girl i guess.
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    you need to focus on keeping YOURSELF alive and not using girls as a crutch in your life

    you should make yourself your number 1 priority in life atm
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please

    Im a 17 boy, and one of my girly friends had sex with her boyfriend tonight. Weve known each other for quite a while, and got very close through some very bad times.

    I admit i did have a thing for her, but got shot down and had to swallow it. And ive never liked that she has boyfriends, and i was so happy in a horrible way that she broke up with her boyfriend.

    But now shes been going out with another guy for about 6 months, and hes horrible i really think he is. And they finally had sex and she lost her virginity, and i feel so so so so so so so so so so horrible and sick :'( my depression is flaring too. Why would i feel like this?

    Im a virgin still, and i just want her to be happy but i really cant stand that shes had sex with him :'(

    Help me understand
    What the hell do you think it bloody means?

    You're not over her. This kinda thing sucks; and if you can't get over it, and she 'shot you down' then perhaps you should distance yourself from her.

    Seriously, I'm not trying to be harsh, but I speak from experience.
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    #5

    You fancy her. I am in a similar situation (except 'her' boyfriend is my best friend) and it seriously hurts.
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    I think you're just hurt because you feel you should have done something to protect her from this 'horrible' guy. Does she seem happy with him? At the end of the day what is important is what she thinks of him. Just be there for her if it does come crashing down, try to be happy for her though sometimes these things can;t be helped if she's got wrapped up in the relationship.
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    (Original post by lets go turtles!)
    you need to focus on keeping YOURSELF alive and not using girls as a crutch in your life

    you should make yourself your number 1 priority in life atm
    Sounds so fail but its been so long i cant even remember. 10 months of every day just wanting to end up, interspersed with normal days. I could spend another 10 years trying to make it all go away but i dont think it ever will, so i just have to get on with life i guess.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please

    Im a 17 boy, and one of my girly friends had sex with her boyfriend tonight. Weve known each other for quite a while, and got very close through some very bad times.

    I admit i did have a thing for her, but got shot down and had to swallow it. And ive never liked that she has boyfriends, and i was so happy in a horrible way that she broke up with her boyfriend.

    But now shes been going out with another guy for about 6 months, and hes horrible i really think he is. And they finally had sex and she lost her virginity, and i feel so so so so so so so so so so horrible and sick :'( my depression is flaring too. Why would i feel like this?

    Im a virgin still, and i just want her to be happy but i really cant stand that shes had sex with him :'(

    Help me understand
    Jesus Christ, I could have wrote this thread word for word about eighteen months ago. Time heals all my friend.
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    (Original post by cchilstonev1)
    Jesus Christ, I could have wrote this thread word for word about eighteen months ago. Time heals all my friend.
    Is your hair falling out too? :P..... and thats as long as i can sustain a happy emotion.

    Just talked to her and feel even worse for saying anything now. I told her that i think its best if we didnt like, speak again for a while but it just made me even more upset thinking how ever more extremely alone im gona get with down to about, 2 friends who are barely friends. And that she feels bad knowing that i feel bad about it.

    whywhywhywhywhywhy
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Thats your opinion. And I meant keep him there, for more reasons than friendship.
    Well not really, as I don't know these people, I can't have an 'opinion' on what their relationship status is. I'm just going on what I've been told. :dontknow:
    You should have been clearer that you meant for more than friendship.
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    (Original post by Jinxy)
    I think you're just hurt because you feel you should have done something to protect her from this 'horrible' guy. Does she seem happy with him? At the end of the day what is important is what she thinks of him. Just be there for her if it does come crashing down, try to be happy for her though sometimes these things can;t be helped if she's got wrapped up in the relationship.
    Before him she'd never made a relationship last like, for more than a month, so she thought if she had sex with him she could make it a proper relationship (this was about a month in, ie a long time ago). She got so stressed out about having sex with him she had an early, you know, girly time thing, so they couldnt thankfully. He's initiated everything.

    But as so many will say its up to her, its her life, its her body, her relationships, her everything.

    Last night i think i said it to myself in a facebook status after i found out:

    "anyone but him, anyone but him, but then id be lying. no one is good enough for you my love. but you were never my love"

    It shouldnt affect me, but with my depression it can **** me over bigstyle.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sounds so fail but its been so long i cant even remember. 10 months of every day just wanting to end up, interspersed with normal days. I could spend another 10 years trying to make it all go away but i dont think it ever will, so i just have to get on with life i guess.
    as someone else said, time heals all

    you're starting to sound obsessive and it could well end up pushing your friend away

    i think you need to find something to do. reconnect with old friends, get a job, get a hobby etc SOMETHING

    because thinking about this girl is not going to make you get better
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    (Original post by Bbeben)
    move onto the next girl man. Shes taken.
    this, be a MAN! - i saw the thread title and thought yep, this is 100% a women posting this... :confused:
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    I completely understand this, and it's a natural reaction.
    Sorry to hear your depression is flaring up too. :console:
    It's funny actually, I'm a straight 20 year old female and yet when my female best friend even hints at the idea of loving someone else, talks about sex or anything like that I have exactly the same reaction as you so trust me, I know how it feels.
    I just think it's incredibly powerful emotion that stems from caring so much for someone and loving them so much.
    The only thing I can say is that once you find some happiness of your own and are able to separate her from that part of your life, that is when the feelings will subside, and that is when you will be happy for her instead of feeling these other emotions.
    Similarly, while you might not like the guy she's with, if he's really that bad the chances are she'll figure it out eventually and you can be there for her if/ when it messes up.
    Just be the best friend you can to her and look for your own happiness completely separately from her, and you'll be able to move forward - promise. :yes:
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    I hope so. Thanks for your help guys.
 
 
 
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