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Boyfriend went to strip club watch

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    I'd be more annoyed at the comments he made about your stuff... he can't tell you what to do.
    And as long as he is just LOOKING at the strip club, it's not so bad. Maybe you could do a strip tease of your own for him ;-)
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    (Original post by 0obrighteyeso0)
    I don't think it's unreasonable to find that hurtful? I don't understand why so many people are saying it is.

    If you're super confident and it doesn't bother you that your boyfriend goes out with the intention of perving on attractive women, then good for you. But why are people having a go at "insane jealous psycho girlfriends" just because they don't like the thought of their boyfriend intentionally getting turned on by other women? It's not like women are the only ones who suffer jealousy - psychological studies will tell you that men suffer far more sexual jealousy than women.

    I'm not generally the jealous sort but I personally find this offensive and it makes me feel inadequate and I don't see why it's more important than my happiness. It doesn't make me a psycho freak. It makes me human.

    Rant over.
    a) I never said anything of the sort. This thread was aiming to find out how other girls would feel, and I said how I would feel and didn't tell any other girl (you, the OP or otherwise), that it's wrong to feel inadequate/hurt.

    b) It's very interesting that you cut out half my post when replying. Did you not have an answer to that bit? What's the intention of having the poster of a boxer on one's wall? To perve, perhaps? And having it there, so your partner can see it and so you can see it every day, isn't shoving it in his face at all?
    If you were in bed with your partner and you weren't in the mood for sex, would you rather he put his porn on and had a wi*nk in front of you or would it perhaps be a bit more respectful if he did it downstairs?
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    a) I never said anything of the sort. This thread was aiming to find out how other girls would feel, and I said how I would feel and didn't tell any other girl (you, the OP or otherwise), that it's wrong to feel inadequate/hurt.

    b) It's very interesting that you cut out half my post when replying. Did you not have an answer to that bit? What's the intention of having the poster of a boxer on one's wall? To perve, perhaps? And having it there, so your partner can see it and so you can see it every day, isn't shoving it in his face at all?
    If you were in bed with your partner and you weren't in the mood for sex, would you rather he put his porn on and had a wi*nk in front of you or would it perhaps be a bit more respectful if he did it downstairs?
    Sorry I wasn't actually aiming all that at you. I was just chatting generally after the first line. Should have made that clear.

    b) ... I wasn't after an argument with you as an individual, I was just stating my opinion. The rest of your post wasn't relevent to what I was saying. Moreover I agreed with it, so no I didn't "have an answer to it".

    Anyway...whatever

    I just didn't think it was very fair that people in the thread were having a go at the OP and calling her stupid and naive when everyone has different ideas on what's ok. That's all.
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    My boyfriend went to a strip club when he went with his group of mates to see another friend in Newcastle last year. They vowed they wouldn't tell any of their girlfriends because one of the guys girlfriends would probably have gone mad and split up with them over it. When they went off to see the same friend again earlier this year I jokingly said, 'So what you gonna get up to? Go to a strip club?' and when he asked I said I wouldn't give a damn if he did and then he admitted that they'd gone before but didn't want to tell me incase this other girl found out. I was surprised purely because of the fact he'd not told me and I'd got no idea he'd been but it didn't bother me in the slightest. They didn't go again, his reason being it had left him poor and really horny without me there to do anything about it. charming! Surely no one could get mad or jealous about a stripper?!!
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    (Original post by Deanna19)
    If my boyfriend went to a strip club I don't think I'd care, I actually said he should go if his friends went one night we were all out.....as long as he didn't get a lap dance haha.
    so he can go look at naked women but he cant look at naked women in front of him? Im confused

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been through something similar so keep anon please.

    OP,

    I can totally understand you being upset and to be honest, I don't understand why the women here who say "I don't mind aslong as he comes back to me" can say that and not feel at all hurt that some stunning woman is all over their boyfriend.

    Even if he just watched them on stage, he was standing there watching a live woman in the flesh (therefore its not like porn..) and getting aroused by her when he has a girlfriend at home. In my eyes this is like cheating.

    My boyfriend went to a strip club and i felt SICK when i found out. I couldn't get intimate with him because all i could think about is him thinking about a stripper that night or wondering if he would prefer to be with her over me. im insecure to start with and it made me feel like crap..

    i dont have the best figure, ive got small boobs, im not tall, im just a normal fairly average to pretty woman... these women are perfect and it kills me that he would be in a place like that getting turned on by them.
    oh please your insecurities are not his problem, you couldnt get intimate and you felt sick because he saw a naked lady. Do you try adn put blinkers on him in the summer as well so he cant look at attractive women in small tops and shorts? That is a serious problem you need to address yourself - why should he have to pander to your issues?

    Oh and if you think every woman in a strip club is some perfect example of the female form you are very much mistaken. Blokes dont go to a strip club then spend the next twenty years mooning over them. They leave and pretty much forget about it.

    (Original post by Q_M)
    So...you support a culture where people are taken from their family and basically raped or are forced to sell themselves for whatever reason....but watching a girl in a club is wrong?
    urm not quite - many people both male and female enter prostitution of thier own free will - the number of people forced into it is a lot less than the media would have you believe. And if it was legalised then the number of forced people would shrink even further

    (Original post by 0obrighteyeso0)
    And I know it's fair to say "yeah but it's not like he's gonna fall in love with her" - so what? I don't like the idea of my boyfriend thinking about shagging some cheap girl in a strip club and then having sex with me. Makes me feel second best, insecure & jealous. Someone that loves you doesn't make you feel like that.
    again thats your issues not his - i can understand respecting your wishes, but you need to understand that blokes think about sex a lot and not always with you. We fantasise its what we do and to be frank women do it as well. Someone can love you but if you have these issues its not thier fault you feel insecure and jealous every time he looks at someone. Whats he supposed to do - poke out his own eyes so he cant look at anyone?

    (Original post by 0obrighteyeso0)
    That is not the point at all. I'm not so arrogant that I think I'm the only person my boyfriend finds attractive, but that doesn't mean he should parade that point around & shove it in my face.
    how is he parading it round and shoving it in your face? Unless he's bragging and then he is an idiot.

    (Original post by Littleonee)
    My boyfriend went to a gentlemen's evening for a rugby thing, and there was strippers there, at first I didnt mind until I got a drunken phone call asking would i be mad if the stripper had stripped him down to just his boxers! I found out the next morning this was what had happened.
    I was pissed off at this, but 2 years down the line we're still together.
    But you should let him know your annoyed, if you don't put your foot down now, he'll always control you for example the vibrator and poster, and then go and please himself at a strip club!
    yeah thats different when the stripper starts stripping him (which is not unheard of at things like stag dos) it probably will cause problems. However in saying that at least he told you.

    OP the fact that hes saying you cant have a poster or a vibrator is the real problem and he needs to sort himself out. Its completely unnacceptable he tries to control you like that
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    (Original post by randomgirl)
    I wouldn't mind the fact he'd been to a strip club, but I'd be annoyed by his comments re: your poster and getting a vibrator.
    Totally agree with this, your boyfriend is displaying classic double standards. He may also be trying to control your behaviour by telling you what is acceptable then doing the opposite to confuse you.
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    (Original post by 0obrighteyeso0)
    Sorry I wasn't actually aiming all that at you. I was just chatting generally after the first line. Should have made that clear.

    b) ... I wasn't after an argument with you as an individual, I was just stating my opinion. The rest of your post wasn't relevent to what I was saying. Moreover I agreed with it, so no I didn't "have an answer to it".

    Anyway...whatever

    I just didn't think it was very fair that people in the thread were having a go at the OP and calling her stupid and naive when everyone has different ideas on what's ok. That's all.
    And I agree with you completely. :yy:
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    (Original post by silverbolt)

    again thats your issues not his - i can understand respecting your wishes, but you need to understand that blokes think about sex a lot and not always with you. We fantasise its what we do and to be frank women do it as well. Someone can love you but if you have these issues its not thier fault you feel insecure and jealous every time he looks at someone. Whats he supposed to do - poke out his own eyes so he cant look at anyone?
    Once again I will say it. If MY boyfriend is the kind of person who wants to go to strip clubs when I am not comfortable with it and MY boyfriend doesn't respect that, then he can go out with a more confident girl and not me.

    However MY boyfriend is NOT the kind of guy who goes to strip clubs and in fact thinks they are embarrassing and degrading (more to the men than the women). That is HIS opinion.

    I don't feel jealous "every time he looks at someone", I merely don't like the idea of strip clubs. I'm not a totally naive idiot who thinks my boyfriend will never look at another girl. I just think respect for my feelings is more important than drooling on semi naked girls in a club.

    And my boyfriend respects that. So everything you said is stupid to me.
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    And I agree with you completely. :yy:
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    so he can go look at naked women but he cant look at naked women in front of him? Im confused
    How is that confusing?

    looking at a naked girl and getting a lap dance are two completely different things.....
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    You're yet another good example of why women should be seen but not heard OP.
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    In the end, its you he come back too. Try not to take it too seriously
 
 
 
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