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    (Original post by davidac)
    Do you have any idea how ******* mental you sound? Tell you what love, on this 'anniversary' night, put the saddest, most tear-jerking music on you can possibly think of, lock yourself away in a dark, candle-lit room, set your alarm for 8.10, then wrap yourself up in a giant clump of cotton wool. Then when the alarm sounds, start crying and screaming hysterically until you're taken to a psychiatric hospital and sectioned. Just to show this rapist dude that he really has got under your skin. That you still remember the exact time and date of the assault, even though the time and date themselves were quite arbitrary and incidental. That you basically count down the days and months till this exact moment, and that when this moment arrives, you try to make it as dark and horrible as possible, turning it over in your mind until you've made yourself upset enough to cry. It's probably what he wants, and by the sound of things, it's what you want as well.
    Far too blunt but I agree with the sentiment. If you're not over the incident, then you're not over it. But I don't think focussing on the precise date and time it happened and planning the day around that is of any help to you. I don't think this sort of approach is helping you heal or get over what happened at all. Good luck with everything.
    • #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for people being helpful Definitely going, doubt I will get upset just if I do now have a friend to go home with me so boyfriend would not miss out, what I was concerned about. Sorted

    As for sarcasm... 'anniversaries' are not exactly intentionally celebrated, but a bad one does tend to stick in your head. No self pity, merely thinking about the day to avoid being upset. Not offended, but no need for rudeness.
    It's an awful situation to be in, I couldn't possibly imagine. But surely it's one of those things that's just as upsetting whatever time of year you think about it. Just because it's getting nearer the date that it happened, does that mean that it's a worse memory? Surely it must hurt just as much when you think about it in december as when you think about it now. Like someone here said, the date is arbitrary - you need to try and combat your emotions/feelings/memories of this throughout the whole year, not just this day.

    (Original post by Dijobla)
    I tried to phrase my answer very carefully and you've picked out one misused word- if you read this thread you'll probably find I've been one of the nicer posters.

    And anyway, you've basically just rephrased what I was saying in my post in your last paragraph, so it seems we are in agreement :dontknow:.
    I was just being clear about what my own personal opinion was of the OP's situation, and while my situation is indeed different I can understand where she is coming from about being anxious, and I think she is doing a good job of managing her situation by planning to have support. You and I both agree it would be good for her to go out with the boyfriend- I said I agreed with you in my earlier post lol :p: I wasn't attacking you!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Thanks to people who were nice about it - it was fine, and backing myself up so to speak with boyfriend and my friend really worked - organising myself beforehand paid off.

    All this about date/time why does it make you feel upset, its not so much upset its just a bit spinny knowing what was happening before on the day, a positive mindset obviously helps but it still gives me an unpleasant heavy feeling sometimes. Other days are like this too whatever time of year- but knowing it happened on this day doesnt help.

    Anyway, over now. Thanks

    I was going to mention another 'coping stratergdy' since you got the house to yourself grab yourself a huge ben n jerrys ice cream and a happy commendy film and watch the film, that way your be distracted and feel good with the ice cream.

    Also try and get counselling as well to help build up other coping ways and to help you. Good luck
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