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    This is just gonna be a pointless thread where i ramble to get things off my chest, so i aplogise if its in the wrong place etc.

    Im soooo stressed out with uni stuff!! Started a degree last sept and due to personal reasons i withdrew in december. Applied again without my parents knowing cos they dont agree with me going back to the same place (they think im gonna get really hurt due to stuff etc). Anyways i accepted my place cos its the uni i really wana go to, my parents found out and told me id be disowned if i went Just dont know what to do, i cant get any post about uni etc to my house cos my mum reads it all first and she'd kick me out if anything to do with uni got delivered. I cant even apply for student finance cos she wont support my application so i can get a bit of extra money and i really doubt id be able to survive on £3000 a year. Wish my life was totally different and stress free!!

    pointless thread there but oh well
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    Get your mum to put what she is saying in writting and apply as a independant student
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    Hmm, I might be wrong but when I applied a few years ago, you had to have been estranged from your parents for a certain length of time before they considered you to be an independent student. I would suggest, however, talking to the university and explaining to them the situation. They should be able to help you with the situation and might be able to engage with your parents to bring about a resolution that all sides are happy with.
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    Just like to point out that it's illegal for your mum to be reading your post!
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    (Original post by weet_ABI_x)
    Just like to point out that it's illegal for your mum to be reading your post!
    Is she really going to go to tell the police on her own mother?
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    (Original post by OiaB)
    Is she really going to go to tell the police on her own mother?
    Well I doubt it, but they don't appear to be getting along very well do they?
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    (Original post by weet_ABI_x)
    Well I doubt it, but they don't appear to be getting along very well do they?
    There's a difference between standing up to your mother, and trying to prosecute her for opening your mail.
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    (Original post by OiaB)
    Is she really going to go to tell the police on her own mother?
    If it puts her education at jeopardy. Its also illegal to try and stop someone from furthering their education as its a human right (I think)

    Just out of curiosity, why is your mum so against you bettering yourself?
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    (Original post by OiaB)
    There's a difference between standing up to your mother, and trying to prosecute her for opening your mail.
    I didn't say she should prosecute her :rolleyes: the OP just mentioned in her post offhand as if it was a normal thing to do, but I wondered if she realised it wasn't! Not trying to have a go or anything!
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    (Original post by cconstant)
    If it puts her education at jeopardy. Its also illegal to try and stop someone from furthering their education as its a human right (I think)

    Just out of curiosity, why is your mum so against you bettering yourself?
    yeah, it seems strange for her to be soooo against you getting an education
    is it going to uni fullstop or just the one you're going to she has a problem with? cos u could always go somewhere else if thats the case...?
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    (Original post by Adorno)
    Hmm, I might be wrong but when I applied a few years ago, you had to have been estranged from your parents for a certain length of time before they considered you to be an independent student. I would suggest, however, talking to the university and explaining to them the situation. They should be able to help you with the situation and might be able to engage with your parents to bring about a resolution that all sides are happy with.
    You're right. It's over a year-I've just had to go through the process of trying to prove it all.

    To the OP - you really need to sit down and try and talk to your mum. I'm sure unlike mine (the circumstances are very different though), she'll come round. Good luck with it all anyway, hope everything works out for you. If you want to talk, pm me.
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    I've got a feeling your mum is reacting emotionally at this point and there's a good chance she'll calm down. Disown is a strong word - do you really think she's capable of that? If so, as I don't know the ins and outs of your mother's relationship, I'd definitely go and talk to someone at the university, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to help.
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    (Original post by weet_ABI_x)
    Just like to point out that it's illegal for your mum to be reading your post!
    ahh shes done it for the past 7/8 months so she knows im not in contact with people she doesn't like and so she knows im not planning to just up and go!

    Sooo annoying though!! especially when your always panicking about her having a go etc
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    (Original post by cconstant)
    If it puts her education at jeopardy. Its also illegal to try and stop someone from furthering their education as its a human right (I think)

    Just out of curiosity, why is your mum so against you bettering yourself?
    well i went to uni in leeds last sept, left due to getting into drugs and stuff with my ex (biggest mistake of my life). Now she thinks i can never go back cos my ex will "hunt me down and kill me". I get that she cares about me but i think shes going to extremes with everything. All i want is to go to uni in leeds but the way things are atm i fell like ill never get there.

    Soz for long post lol.
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    (Original post by km31)
    yeah, it seems strange for her to be soooo against you getting an education
    is it going to uni fullstop or just the one you're going to she has a problem with? cos u could always go somewhere else if thats the case...?
    She wants me to go back to uni but just not to leeds. She's said anywhere else apart from leeds is fine but its the only place i really wana go to.
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    (Original post by ipswichblade)
    You're right. It's over a year-I've just had to go through the process of trying to prove it all.

    To the OP - you really need to sit down and try and talk to your mum. I'm sure unlike mine (the circumstances are very different though), she'll come round. Good luck with it all anyway, hope everything works out for you. If you want to talk, pm me.
    Ive been trying to talk her round for the past 5 months but she hasnt budged. She jsut says no matter how old i am i can never go back and that im jsut thinking of myself and not her. Ahhh gets so confusing at times! Thanks for the offer to pm u, think i might lol
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    (Original post by LouisianaPuuurchase)
    I've got a feeling your mum is reacting emotionally at this point and there's a good chance she'll calm down. Disown is a strong word - do you really think she's capable of that? If so, as I don't know the ins and outs of your mother's relationship, I'd definitely go and talk to someone at the university, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to help.
    How could the uni help if you dont mind me asking lol. Just feel like they wouldnt be interested in hearing about my situation etc. My mum's said to me many a times that id get disowned by her if i went back and i know she's stick to it cos she's so stubborn. Just wish she'd support me with what i want to do.
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    (Original post by lauren_lfc)
    This is just gonna be a pointless thread where i ramble to get things off my chest, so i aplogise if its in the wrong place etc.

    Im soooo stressed out with uni stuff!! Started a degree last sept and due to personal reasons i withdrew in december. Applied again without my parents knowing cos they dont agree with me going back to the same place (they think im gonna get really hurt due to stuff etc). Anyways i accepted my place cos its the uni i really wana go to, my parents found out and told me id be disowned if i went Just dont know what to do, i cant get any post about uni etc to my house cos my mum reads it all first and she'd kick me out if anything to do with uni got delivered. I cant even apply for student finance cos she wont support my application so i can get a bit of extra money and i really doubt id be able to survive on £3000 a year. Wish my life was totally different and stress free!!

    pointless thread there but oh well
    OP I feel for you cos I have those type of parents as well who would disown me if I did something they disagreed with. On the mail - your mother definitely should not be opening your private mail - have you tried telling her to stop? If she doesnt try getting to your mail first and hiding it away from them. If all else fails, start opening your mum's mail so that she gets how intrusive it feels for someone to do that. Or you can arrange your mail to be sent to a friend?
    DEFINITELY GO TO UNI if thats what you want to do - after all its your life. Talk to your uni, school and social services about the finiancial problems or if you think they're going to kick you out. The council/social services should be able to find you somewhere to stay if you give them enough notice). It is possible to go to uni without any parental finiancial support - work a lot during the summer etc. and hunt for bursaries and scholarships.
    I hope everything works out
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    (Original post by lauren_lfc)
    How could the uni help if you dont mind me asking lol. Just feel like they wouldnt be interested in hearing about my situation etc. My mum's said to me many a times that id get disowned by her if i went back and i know she's stick to it cos she's so stubborn. Just wish she'd support me with what i want to do.
    You could go to student services and talk to the relevant people there, possibly counsellors, as you are a prospective student they're not going to just ignore you. You will need to explain as it might affect your application for student finance, and that's important.

    My mum is stubborn too, and she makes threats all the time...but in the end the only thing that would force her to disown me would be if I killed someone, or something like that! Your mum obviously doesn't want to see you go through the pain you've been through before which makes her protective and frustrated that you may go through it all again. What you need to do is go anyway and prove to her that you've made the right decision, then hopefully, even if it's after a period of not speaking to eachother, she will understand and be proud of you.
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    It's also worth adding to the above that it may well be the case that the University might be in a position to reassure your parents about the potential situation there.
 
 
 
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