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    i don't want to sound like im on ur mums side, but i'm sure that she just really really cares about you, she doesn't want anything bad to happen to you and cares a whole lot about your well being - and you're lucky to have that
    i understand the feeling of really wanting to jst go to one uni, but maybe you should try and comprimise with your mum? is there nowhere else you'd be happy going? if you want to go more because for the location than your education then maybe you're going for the wrong reasons? that probably sounded condesending, i dont mean it like that though!
    just im sure it would be worth talking it through and finding some sort of compromise, like you'll do your degree somewhere else then once she knows you can look after yourself you can go live in leeds!
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    (Original post by Toxic Tears)
    OP I feel for you cos I have those type of parents as well who would disown me if I did something they disagreed with. On the mail - your mother definitely should not be opening your private mail - have you tried telling her to stop? If she doesnt try getting to your mail first and hiding it away from them. If all else fails, start opening your mum's mail so that she gets how intrusive it feels for someone to do that. Or you can arrange your mail to be sent to a friend?
    DEFINITELY GO TO UNI if thats what you want to do - after all its your life. Talk to your uni, school and social services about the finiancial problems or if you think they're going to kick you out. The council/social services should be able to find you somewhere to stay if you give them enough notice). It is possible to go to uni without any parental finiancial support - work a lot during the summer etc. and hunt for bursaries and scholarships.
    I hope everything works out
    Tbh i havent confronted her about the mail, mainly because everytime we discuss things like that she always ends up saying "if you dont like it you know where the door is". Its worse than just opening mail though, shes hid some letters from me before without me seeing them. Thanks for the reply though, just trying to sort out what i should do
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    (Original post by LouisianaPuuurchase)
    You could go to student services and talk to the relevant people there, possibly counsellors, as you are a prospective student they're not going to just ignore you. You will need to explain as it might affect your application for student finance, and that's important.

    My mum is stubborn too, and she makes threats all the time...but in the end the only thing that would force her to disown me would be if I killed someone, or something like that! Your mum obviously doesn't want to see you go through the pain you've been through before which makes her protective and frustrated that you may go through it all again. What you need to do is go anyway and prove to her that you've made the right decision, then hopefully, even if it's after a period of not speaking to eachother, she will understand and be proud of you.
    So if i just rang up student services at the uni ive applied for theyd be able to advise me on a few things?

    Yehh i get that she doesnt want to see me hurt again but she should realise that im not gona do the same stuff again and that she should just let me go even if it worries her. Just a tad scary going back to uni n not having a family to visit lol
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    (Original post by km31)
    i don't want to sound like im on ur mums side, but i'm sure that she just really really cares about you, she doesn't want anything bad to happen to you and cares a whole lot about your well being - and you're lucky to have that
    i understand the feeling of really wanting to jst go to one uni, but maybe you should try and comprimise with your mum? is there nowhere else you'd be happy going? if you want to go more because for the location than your education then maybe you're going for the wrong reasons? that probably sounded condesending, i dont mean it like that though!
    just im sure it would be worth talking it through and finding some sort of compromise, like you'll do your degree somewhere else then once she knows you can look after yourself you can go live in leeds!
    Ive been to see loadsa different unis - nottingham, birmingham, manchester, liverpool and for me none of them compared to leeds. Its only leeds met but i loved it and the location was jsut a plus. i really couldnt see myself anywhere else. Thanks for the reply too
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    (Original post by lauren_lfc)
    So if i just rang up student services at the uni ive applied for theyd be able to advise me on a few things?

    Yehh i get that she doesnt want to see me hurt again but she should realise that im not gona do the same stuff again and that she should just let me go even if it worries her. Just a tad scary going back to uni n not having a family to visit lol

    Yeah I would be scared too.

    Give them a ring or email student services if you feel more comfortable doing that. Good luck.
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    Why did you withdraw in the first place?
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    Do you think she actually would disown you? Could you talk to other close family members to see if they would take you on if she did?

    If your ex does pose a serious threat to you, you could reassure your mum that you'll protect yourself. You could do this in a number of ways: notifying the Police, your friends, the University, and if necessary Social Services. If she's worried about your own drug use you could maybe seek help from your GP (or drug services) about it to show her you're not going down that path again.

    My parents nearly made me drop out of University after my first year (boyfriend problems also!), but I fought it and came out with a 2:1 and excellent life experience! Best of luck
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    (Original post by Nick_000)
    Why did you withdraw in the first place?
    I had aloada stuff happen while i was at uni. My mum found out and brought me home straight away, which was best at the time cos i was a mess. Just wana go back now im sorted
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    (Original post by girlplurality)
    Do you think she actually would disown you? Could you talk to other close family members to see if they would take you on if she did?

    If your ex does pose a serious threat to you, you could reassure your mum that you'll protect yourself. You could do this in a number of ways: notifying the Police, your friends, the University, and if necessary Social Services. If she's worried about your own drug use you could maybe seek help from your GP (or drug services) about it to show her you're not going down that path again.

    My parents nearly made me drop out of University after my first year (boyfriend problems also!), but I fought it and came out with a 2:1 and excellent life experience! Best of luck
    My dad hasnt got the room for me to live with him and other family members agree with my mum unfortunately.

    Well the police know about him and what he done, as do all my friends so if i ever seen him id be scared but i know he wouldn't be able to do anything.

    I think she's more worried about my ex than the drugs, she knows i got on them bad and that shocked her but shes more scared about my ex coming after me.

    I hate crappy lads least we can learn from our mistakes though!

    Well done on the 2:1
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    they're gonna find out sometime unless you just don't go there like they want..so you need to sit and talk to them..
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    (Original post by lauren_lfc)
    My dad hasnt got the room for me to live with him and other family members agree with my mum unfortunately.

    Well the police know about him and what he done, as do all my friends so if i ever seen him id be scared but i know he wouldn't be able to do anything.

    I think she's more worried about my ex than the drugs, she knows i got on them bad and that shocked her but shes more scared about my ex coming after me.

    I hate crappy lads least we can learn from our mistakes though!

    Well done on the 2:1
    Thanks I hate crappy lads too!

    If she's this serious, you might need to compromise. Go back to Uni, but not Leeds. That's better than being disowned, and better than not being at University.
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    (Original post by lauren_lfc)
    Ive been trying to talk her round for the past 5 months but she hasnt budged. She jsut says no matter how old i am i can never go back and that im jsut thinking of myself and not her. Ahhh gets so confusing at times! Thanks for the offer to pm u, think i might lol
    Yep, if you ever want to chat you know where I am. x
 
 
 
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