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Anyone else have to constantly fake a smile to keep people happy ? watch

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    The title kind of says it all :/

    i recently lost my mom and overall things feel like theyre taking a complete nose dive, but despite it all people seem to question if im not " seeming myself " or annoyed that im not really up for going out etc. lately.
    it seems like remaining happy and cheery with a gleaming smile is the only option even in the worst of times, otherwise you'll just annoy people and they'll question why your down.... despite them knowing the circumstances.

    does/ has anyone else ever felt like this ?
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    Yes all the time, you get used to it after a while though. Perhaps you could tell people how bad you are feeling? Get some stuff off your chest.
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    You cant be happy, or force yourself to be happy all the time you wont have enough time to have some emotional outlet. If you are going through a really rough time which it sounds like you have been; im really dorry for your loss. I think your friends will understand if you need some support at times, i certainly would. I would actually be a little worried if one of my friends was happy all the time, when they had some problems around.
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    Don't show a face that hides what you really feel - if they're getting in your way and annoying you, tell them where to go.
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    Sorry to hear about your mum Hope you and your family are coping ok.

    I've never had anything nearly as bad happen, but regardless, I hate it when people ask why I'm looking down in the dumps when they know full well that I have every reason to feel crappy. Even if it is something that only seems small to them.

    The only thing that really made them stop asking was me saying 'I'll be ok soon!' with a big smile - yes I felt like I had to smile :rolleyes: even though it's probably the last thing on your mind.

    When feeling like this I also found that crying, letting it all out and venting to someone helped. It doesn't work for everyone though. And sometimes it's hard to talk about certain things.

    In general, most people are smiley around friends and family, so they soon notice when you're not, even if it's not obvious that anything is different to you.

    Hope everything gets better. I'm sure you'll soon find something which helps you to keep your chin up.
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    (Original post by tom_tom_tom)
    You cant be happy, or force yourself to be happy all the time you wont have enough time to have some emotional outlet. If you are going through a really rough time which it sounds like you have been; im really dorry for your loss. I think your friends will understand if you need some support at times, i certainly would. I would actually be a little worried if one of my friends was happy all the time, when they had some problems around.
    thanks

    one of my friends said that they didnt wanna talk about it to me as they felt uncomfortable as they didnt really get my whole situation but everyone else seems to be oblivious to the fact im really not feeling right lately :/ not really sure of what to do
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks

    one of my friends said that they didnt wanna talk about it to me as they felt uncomfortable as they didnt really get my whole situation but everyone else seems to be oblivious to the fact im really not feeling right lately :/ not really sure of what to do
    At least the friend is being honest with you, you could open up to them and they could just seem not to care just because they didnt know how to handle the situation.

    It may be worth talking to a few mates and im sure all you need is support, people around you not someone to sit and listen to you for hours on end who needs to give you an explination at the end, tell them all you want is some friendly support from some people you want to be with; your mates.
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    Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss I've never had something like this happen to me so I don't really know what you're going through. I do know, though, that it never really works to keep your feelings bottled up or to put up a smile all the time. If people are getting annoyed at you, explain how you feel to them. If they persist at acting irritated, then they can **** off. Don't let other people make your time more difficult than it already is!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks

    one of my friends said that they didnt wanna talk about it to me as they felt uncomfortable as they didnt really get my whole situation but everyone else seems to be oblivious to the fact im really not feeling right lately :/ not really sure of what to do
    Have you tried telling someone you're close to that you're feeling down? It's nice to have someone to confide in, someone who you don't have to put on a front for when you talk to them. Maybe you can ask them to do something with you once a week to help make you feel better - exercise/we.
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Have you tried telling someone you're close to that you're feeling down? It's nice to have someone to confide in, someone who you don't have to put on a front for when you talk to them. Maybe you can ask them to do something with you once a week to help make you feel better - exercise/we.
    yeaaah but he lives quite far down south at the moment


    sorry for sounding so pathetic
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...
    I presume it was you who quoted me?

    Oh that's not helpful if he lives faraway. Is there nobody close to you who you can confide in? What about a family member?

    I always find it nice to have one person to vent to, who will sit and listen. And who will just be there for you even if you're not talking about it. Just company, entertainment etc. Then I don't tell anyone else what's wrong because people just wana be nosey and I hate that! They're more concerned about knowing the situation than being helpful...

    Do you have any hobbies where you know people who you could spend time with? Any interests you share with someone?
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    this is a going to be such hard time for you. i felt like this when my mum died, people just don't understand, or know what to say...

    if you have close friends, talk to them, explain how you're feeling, you'll probably feel better knowing that they understand more fully...

    more than anything, though, it takes time. let it run its course. never try to hide your feelings, it's totally counterproductive!

    good luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks

    one of my friends said that they didnt wanna talk about it to me as they felt uncomfortable as they didnt really get my whole situation but everyone else seems to be oblivious to the fact im really not feeling right lately :/ not really sure of what to do
    That's horrible! I lost my mum last year and my friends have been wonderful. If anything it's me that reluctant to talk to them. They try and do avoid anything that could upset me.
    Have you had any counselling or time alone to come to terms with your grief? Any siblings/close relatives you could confide in?
    I'm sorry for your loss and I hope things work themselves out soon. :hugs:
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    sometimes else I keep getting told I look miserable. just cos I don't think i should have to walk around with a ******* grin on my face all the time. my friend kept hitting me all through a film the other day saying i wasn't smiling and 'WHY AREN'T YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF?!?!?!?!'
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by m.maow)
    this is a going to be such hard time for you. i felt like this when my mum died, people just don't understand, or know what to say...

    if you have close friends, talk to them, explain how you're feeling, you'll probably feel better knowing that they understand more fully...

    more than anything, though, it takes time. let it run its course. never try to hide your feelings, it's totally counterproductive!

    good luck

    thank you
    • #2
    #2

    I used to do that all the time. Things were going on at home but I never let it show because I was constantly positive, always in a good mood, insufferably polite... makes me cringe to think about it. Then I hit my lowest point and I stopped all the pretending and smiling and tried to be myself... and the worst thing is my friends didn't understand and they thought I was changing and being fake.

    I'm really sorry about your loss. My advice to you is to find someone, anyone, to talk to and get it out. Please don't let it build up. I know making anonymous threads on the internet helped me a little when my mum fell seriously ill, so keeping do that too! The most important thing is to just be honest with yourself and like m.maow said never try and hide your feelings. :jumphug:
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    People are forever telling me to smile... I hate it... I'm a grumpy little sh1t... Get over it
    • #1
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I used to do that all the time. Things were going on at home but I never let it show because I was constantly positive, always in a good mood, insufferably polite... makes me cringe to think about it. Then I hit my lowest point and I stopped all the pretending and smiling and tried to be myself... and the worst thing is my friends didn't understand and they thought I was changing and being fake.

    I'm really sorry about your loss. My advice to you is to find someone, anyone, to talk to and get it out. Please don't let it build up. I know making anonymous threads on the internet helped me a little when my mum fell seriously ill, so keeping do that too! The most important thing is to just be honest with yourself and like m.maow said never try and hide your feelings. :jumphug:
    thanks

    yeaaah but i feel so pathetic for posting all this on a pulic forum no offence to anyone
 
 
 
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