i feel used and depressed.

please keep anon, i have friends on here.

for the last few weeks i have been sort of seeing this boy (i'll call him john) who i really, really like and i assumed (as did all our friends) that he liked me too.

it all started the day i met him, i was out shopping with a few friends and we bumpeed into him and his friends in town and we all sort of joined up and went shopping all together. john was soo fit and really kind, we just hit it off straight away and he ended up coming back to my house and we had dinner, a few drinks and ended up sleeping together :/ i don't regret it because we both agreed on it and we used a condom, it was just a bt of fun and at the time i didnt really see him as anything other than that.

but then ever since then evertime i have seen him we've ended up sleeping together and its happened quite alot because we live in the same town and we go out together quite alot. it was just a sort of sex buddy situation at first but i started to get feelings for him (i have had sex buddys before and been able to keep it literally as that) and it seemed like more than sex. he was really kind and careful with me and we spent alot of time together when we werent having sex, too.

i spoke to him about this yesterday and asked him what he thinks of me and this whole situation, and he just said that we are 'close friends'. it's fine if he doesnt want a relationship with me, its not up to me to control his feelings lol but its really upset me :frown:

i honestly thought that he felt the same, and i spoke to a couple of our friends who thought that he seemed to like me alot more than just a friend too :frown:

i cant have sex with him again because ill just end up geting upset that it wont ever be more than sex. hes the first person ive fell for ever since i got out of a really abusive relationship back in january, and i thought i could trust him. now i juts feel used and upset, and i dont want to see him ever again but i cant seem to get over him

i dont know why im writing a thread about it, maybe looking for advice or maybe just needing support?? i cant talk to my friends about it, i just feel embarrased now. :frown:

Reply 1

cccch

To me it sounds like by "close friends" he just means you are his sex buddy and doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. My advice would be to stay away from him because you're just going to carry on getting your feelings hurt but then again I've had that advice recently and it's not easy to stay away but everyones situations are different, maybe you just ask him straight out if there would ever be a chance of getting together?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

thank you for the reply :smile:

i am going to keep away from him now, or at least try very hard bcause we have lots of mutual friends so seeing him is inevitable. i won't sleep with him again because i just don't want to feel like this. to make it worse, i was just coming to terms with the fact that ive gota get over him, and he just texted me to say hi and asked how i was etc, how my day is going. ahhhhhh can't he just go away!! :frown:

Reply 3

Hiphopopotamus

Anonymous

i honestly thought that he felt the same, and i spoke to a couple of our friends who thought that he seemed to like me alot more than just a friend too :frown:

I'm not sure what to suggest, apart from just to keep your distance. He clearly just sees you as you have seen your other 'sex buddies' and that's a shame, but it's a big rish you take by that kind of relationship (or lack thereof).

Anyway, hope things work out for the better.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

thanks, and yeah i know the risks that come with having friends with benefits. i'm usually ok with controlling my emotions for others and if i have ever felt like i'm going to start falling for a sex buddy i stop seeing them but with him it was different, and felt different :/

Reply 5

Jinxy

I can understand how this has been hard for you. I don't think it's very fair that he's given you the impression he wants a relationship. Now you know where you stand with him it might be best to cut ties to avoid getting more hurt. There is a chance, though, that he may think you're using him as a sex buddy and doesn't want to make you think he has more feelings? He may way like you more than he says. Don't get your hopes up though. If it turns out he really doesnt you just have to take it on the chin and move on with things. It is really hard to tell sometimes what a guy actually wants you for, even when your having sex. Try not to get upset, what has happened has happened all you can do now is try to make yourself feel better about it and accept it. :hugs:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

thank you for the reply :smile:

Boys are strange creatures sometimes they act like they really like you and are nice then other times they can be complete prats, it'll be hard if you've got feelings so 2 choices..... ask him if theres a chance of being bf & gf or DON'T text him back and only see him when necessery (if he's friends with your friends to). Then you can find someone who doesnt want just sex :smile:

Hope the advice helped =]

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

My advice? **** him, **** his usingness (oh dear i meant DONT **** **** him), and find yourself someone who wants to really be with you. I dont think your in a place right now where you want a **** buddy, no matter the advantages.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

jinxy - thank you :smile:

he honestly did make me feel wanted and loved, not something i was looking for from him, but something i felt. i really, really liked him and although i wasnt looking for a relationship i felt like i wanted one with him. he always texted me saying things about how he cant wait to see me again and all that, somethin that a **** buddy doesnt do normally lol! i can (could???) talk to him bout lots of things that was bothering me in my life, recently ive been going through a nasty time with my family (parents are getting divorced) and he is one of the two people that have been helping me through it, giving me advice (his parents got divorced too) and generally making me feel better. we can sit for hours just talking and we had/have (i dont know anymore!) a real connection. i thought i could trust him.

anon #2, thank you for the advice. i dont get why men say women are difficult to crack - im not complicated, i just say it how it is and i wish he did this too instead of leading me on!! lol. i dont really wanna ask him if there's a chance because i think it's damn obvious now that there isnt :frown:

i just wanna get over him. i havent texted him back. i would like us to be friends because he IS a nice person, just not as nice as i thought............

anon #3, LOL yep i agree, **** him but not in that way! :smile:

thanks

Reply 9

blondyx

I think you can do better OP. Just try and get over him, spend time with your friends etc. He clearly isn't worth your time, he sounds like a bit of a dick tbh because he lead you on. Hope you feel better soon, good luck :-)