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I don't know if I slept with him. Watch

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    And I'm worried about pregnancy because I'm not on the pill.

    Here are the facts:

    *I am (or was?) a virgin. So I don't have much to compare the feeling or the experience to.
    *We were both drunk so I only remember snippets of the night...
    *I remember I was breathing really heavily...but he could have been using his fingers...I don't remember a lot of wetness.
    *I remember it getting really intense, and I said "wait...let's not go too far." So I'm hoping my safety instinct (which was clearly not fully functioning) might have prevented us from having sex, but I can't be sure.
    *I'm about to go abroad to an underdeveloped country for the next four months, so I need to sort this out immediately, but I don't drive so I don't have access to a pregnancy test without telling my parents...I also don't have the kind of friends I could really talk to about this, so that's why I'm asking on here.

    I don't know if I should ask him about what we did, because the conversation would be so painfully awkward. What would I say? What should I do? I'm so afraid I'm randomly pregnant after a drunken hookup...am I just being paranoid?

    I really appreciate your help!
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    Sounds like you know nothing. if you're worrying about pregnancy and STDs then the best you can do, other than ask him (that's if he even tells the truth), is to take a pregnancy test after your next due period/wait to see if you're pregnant and take an STD test in a month and then an HIV test two months after that.

    Then you'll have everything covered.
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    I would say ask him ASAP, you don't have time to wait to see if your period comes seeing as you're going abroad, so you need to know if there's a chance that you could be pregnant (as well as risk of STDs). If he says you did have sex then I'd recommend morning after pill straight away...its about 25 pounds from boots, but free from a family planning clinic. You said you can't drive therefore don't have access to a test..surely you could just ask for a lift to the shops and sort yourself out there? This is all purely precautional, don't want to panic you but the effectiveness of the morning after pill (actually should probably call it the emergency contraceptive) goes down each day, until the the third day after sex when its far less reliable.
    Another thing is, if you're a virgin I reckon you'd know about it the morning after if you had had sex! Especially as you don't remember a lot of wetness...it would have hurt!!
    So basically, you really have to ask him...it will be awkward but ultimately will let you know what you need to do and set your mind at rest
    Good luck!
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    ask the bloke?
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    Do you have any suggestions for how I should go about wording the question?
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    'Did we have sex last night?'
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    Instead of asking "did we have sex" where he might lie, could you perhaps say "that night was great, i'm glad we went all the way" and if you didn't he would be like "no we never" and if you did he would be like "yea I was amazing wasn't I" lol or something like that. Maybe thats a stupid idea.
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    "How far did we go last night?"
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    How well do you know this guy? If he's a friend, you should know him well enough to just be honest with him, and he should be decent enough to give an honest answer...if he's just a random guy or acquaintance, i wouldn't worry about it being awkward as you don't have to see him again! I would say that it would be worse for him anyway, he's going to be more worried about his dented ego from you not finding his "skillz" memorable enough so either way, don't worry too much, just get it done pronto!
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    (Original post by ABeautifulMind)
    Instead of asking "did we have sex" where he might lie, could you perhaps say "that night was great, i'm glad we went all the way" and if you didn't he would be like "no we never" and if you did he would be like "yea I was amazing wasn't I" lol or something like that. Maybe thats a stupid idea.
    Agreed.

    Also, if you did have sex and he gets the impression you're not 100% pleased about it when you ask, he might lie to save getting himself in trouble.
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    He's an incredibly nice guy, really friendly and funny, but we're not that close...we work together, but it's not going to be easy to bring this up...
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    Well unfortunatly you have to. This comes with the responsibility of drinking.
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    Find out from him about whether you had sex, but don't make it obvious that you don't actually remember.

    Do you have him on fb/can you text him, so it's not awkward (face to face)? It might be easier. I'm just trying to think of ideas of how to find out about the sex without it being obvious that you don't remember hehe.
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    (Original post by ABeautifulMind)
    Instead of asking "did we have sex" where he might lie, could you perhaps say "that night was great, i'm glad we went all the way" and if you didn't he would be like "no we never" and if you did he would be like "yea I was amazing wasn't I" lol or something like that. Maybe thats a stupid idea.
    Then if they didn't have sex he might lie and go along with it to make him out as a stud who gives orgasms.
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    (Original post by ozzyoscy)
    Then if they didn't have sex he might lie and go along with it to make him out as a stud who gives orgasms.

    This is true!
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    and also you sound weird if you didnt have sex and you're acting as if it was the best sex ever!
    tricky tricky...maybe something like... "so...never done that before!! have you?" being suitably vague means you can always turn the conversation around to something else if it goes wrong
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    It's sad that so many of your assume he'll want to lie about it. Are all guys like that?!! Haha.

    But yeah, this is going to be rough but I guess I'll only have to endure a couple more weeks around him before I leave. We've spoken a few times since that night and he's acted casual/pretending nothing happened but he's also looking at me a lot...like I keep catching his eyes on me. I don't know if I can tell whether we had sex based on the way he treats me...
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    just wait an see. I did till I got on pill
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    If you had lost your virginity you probably would have been sore the next day.
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    Ask him, but make it clear you aren't judging him or making any kind of accusation, you just want to know. But yeah, if you were a virgin before, you'd probably know.
 
 
 
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