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    #1

    nearly 18 and been alone nearly all my life.
    Abusive mother, dead father and no friends.
    Well, no friends up until around 6 months ago. Made a friend through an online game. She had been through more or less, the same things as me so we grew close. shared pictures, emails, phone numbers etc.
    And now for some reason shes mad at me. I don't know what Ive done and when I asked her, she just told me to leave her alone.

    I don't think that I can go back to being alone now that I know what it feels like to have a friend. I'm not waiting another 17 years to make another one.
    If I can't repair this some how, I'm going to kill myself.
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    Keep hope and have faith in your own capabilities.
    Is there anything you like doing? Try joining some sort of club or society and meet people. Learn to play some music instrument? Some sport? There are loads of things available to you as long as you stop being pessimistic.
    Don't expect to find friends as friends aren't found; you will have to work on it over time, and the best way to be disappointed is to expect too much. Just meet people and keep hoping it's going to be better soon, because it will!
    Good luck, you can do it as long as you believe it
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    Don't be silly. It won't take you that long to find another friend, not if you try and put yourself out there.
    • #1
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    (Original post by Xurvi)
    Keep hope and have faith in your own capabilities.
    Is there anything you like doing? Try joining some sort of club or society and meet people. Learn to play some music instrument? Some sport? There are loads of things available to you as long as you stop being pessimistic.
    Don't expect to find friends as friends aren't found; you will have to work on it over time, and the best way to be disappointed is to expect too much. Just meet people and keep hoping it's going to be better soon, because it will!
    Good luck, you can do it as long as you believe it
    Beleive me, Ive tried that.
    Tried 20 or 30 different clubs over the past 10 years but no dice. Kept at most of them for months and even years in some cases.
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    You say you are nearly 18 so are you working or studying at school/college? There must be some activities you can get involved in - clubs, amateur dramatics or sports. Go along to your library and see what there is about and you will soon make new aquaintances and then friends.
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    So, what was the issue?
    Didn't like meeting people?
    Didn't like the people there?
    Didn't like the activity you were doing?

    Try and find the reason why you are lonely. Maybe you're too shy and not easy to talk to? Do people come to you and try to socialise and end up being rejected by you (even if it is not mean and/or intended)? Do you think you can give your trust to someone easily or on the contrary have a very hard time trusting people? Or maybe you think you're just not worth being their friend? That can happen if you've got an abusive mother that kept feeling you inferior.
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    People are always going to **** you over in life, people who you thought were your friends will change, people will turn into totally different people and some will just leave without a word. Either way you cannot be so dependant on others. You need to stand on your own two feet, at least before you make a new friend. Because you may get too attached to that individual. Keep trying the internet to make friends, lots of willing people out there!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Xurvi)
    So, what was the issue?
    Didn't like meeting people?
    Didn't like the people there?
    Didn't like the activity you were doing?

    Try and find the reason why you are lonely. Maybe you're too shy and not easy to talk to? Do people come to you and try to socialise and end up being rejected by you (even if it is not mean and/or intended)? Do you think you can give your trust to someone easily or on the contrary have a very hard time trusting people? Or maybe you think you're just not worth being their friend? That can happen if you've got an abusive mother that kept feeling you inferior.
    I tried to get into them so that I could have a common interest but after 3 months and despite knowing alot about what they are doing, they still wont talk to you, its not worth continueing.
    I trust people very easily and I don't think that I don't deserve friends or anything like that. I don't get angry or anything. I just dont get it.
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    Can you give us an example of what happened in those clubs? If you've been in so many clubs, tried to make so many friends but nobody wants to be friends with you, there's most likely a 'problem' with you. Yes I know, that sounds very harsh, but if you want help, we shouldn't lie to you. Now as I'm honest with you, I'm sure the 'problem' can be fixed quite easily and if you get the right help, I'm sure you have plenty of friends in a few months if we find out what the problem is. That's not worth killing yourself over, really.
    The good thing is that you want friends, maybe you want it too badly. You're too possessive perhaps?

    And if we can't help you, don't hesitate to go to a psychologist. There's nothing strange about that.

    Hope this'll help a bit.
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    As I said in a previous thread, it's easier for people to like you when you like and believe in yourself.
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    i'll be your friend
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    nearly 18 and been alone nearly all my life.
    Abusive mother, dead father and no friends.
    Well, no friends up until around 6 months ago. Made a friend through an online game. She had been through more or less, the same things as me so we grew close. shared pictures, emails, phone numbers etc.
    And now for some reason shes mad at me. I don't know what Ive done and when I asked her, she just told me to leave her alone.

    I don't think that I can go back to being alone now that I know what it feels like to have a friend. I'm not waiting another 17 years to make another one.
    If I can't repair this some how, I'm going to kill myself.
    This is just off the top of my head about how you could make the internet more personal to you and make some new friends:

    get facebook at get one of those "meet new people" applications where you can met more people online and talk/exchange msn etc...(you can find people in your local area)

    or go on omegle.com (where u talk to annoymous strangers)(it might cheer u up, but it might not it just depends who you get, i spoke to a really nice french person the other day and we helped each other out with our languages. othertimes people just say crap lol, but its interesting.)

    get on twitter and follow some famous people you like or people in your area. make some tweets and before you know it you'll have your own followers.
    same goes for making a blog, its surprising how many people are interested in what "you" write about!

    i know this sounds a bit cheesy and wateva but just generally try to talk to someone new everyday. if you go out, say hi to someone, or help an old lady across the road. anything social with even strangers is usually positive. (just don't pick anyone dodgy.)

    ......sorry for this random post, all of the above things depend on the circumstances, but seeing as you like the internet, try broadening your use of it.
    and about the girl....she's probably just freaked out a bit because she talking to someone she's never met. most people get over it after a while, but don't nag her otherwise she might just ignore you. it honestly is nothing personal!
    good luck with everything!
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    (Original post by raspberryice)
    This is just off the top of my head about how you could make the internet more personal to you and make some new friends:

    get facebook at get one of those "meet new people" applications where you can met more people online and talk/exchange msn etc...(you can find people in your local area)

    or go on omegle.com (where u talk to annoymous strangers)(it might cheer u up, but it might not it just depends who you get, i spoke to a really nice french person the other day and we helped each other out with our languages. othertimes people just say crap lol, but its interesting.)

    get on twitter and follow some famous people you like or people in your area. make some tweets and before you know it you'll have your own followers.
    same goes for making a blog, its surprising how many people are interested in what "you" write about!

    i know this sounds a bit cheesy and wateva but just generally try to talk to someone new everyday. if you go out, say hi to someone, or help an old lady across the road. anything social with even strangers is usually positive. (just don't pick anyone dodgy.)

    ......sorry for this random post, all of the above things depend on the circumstances, but seeing as you like the internet, try broadening your use of it.
    and about the girl....she's probably just freaked out a bit because she talking to someone she's never met. most people get over it after a while, but don't nag her otherwise she might just ignore you. it honestly is nothing personal!
    good luck with everything!

    Listen to her, fantastic advice.

    Pos Rep.
    • #2
    #2

    here's what i've learnt in my life: 1- you have to have faith because humans are just humans and can't always be the solution to ur problem, independence is good, love yourself for others to love u. also, when everything' wrong and u don't understand things, u need to make radical life changes, like traveling the world, or going for a long 4 hour walk, just looking around at random things, sometime ur thought just click. being negative eg. i have to wait another 17 years will always let u down, negative thinking and ppl will get u negativity.

    I'm going to give u an example. i went through a hard year last year, and now again, but it's not hard anymore coz i learned how to deal with it. and the lesson is positive thinking; look at the ironically positive thing in ur problem, for example. whilst others fear allot and are controlled and not actually free to do what they want because of work, uni's and their expectations, you are feeling soo low that u have nothing to loose. this is something u can really use to an advantage. u can take risks, and u can do anything, because u have nothing to worry about, u can travel, or do anything. after DOING and moving u will reach another point, from which u will see where u were clearer, and u will understand things more, and move on.

    hope this is understandable, it's slightly hard to write deep.. goodluck.. and have faith, things happen for a reason. insanity is doing things over and over again and expecting different answers, just try to open ur mind, and think what is it im supposed to learn. coz u are stuck in this **** until u learn the lesson taht is meant for u!!

    at the end of the day i cannot stress how important positivity is, get to doing things that take out the negative energy from u, and things that make u happy, to spend the time.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by FretFul)
    Listen to her, fantastic advice.

    Pos Rep.

    this is good advice, because last year i was injured and ended up doing this chatting on msn, with ppl i met through the apps, coz i was bored. i ended up learning allot about how others think and feel, and what we all have in common. ppl in person don't tend to be as readable as strangers on chat!! DO IT
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    (Original post by FretFul)
    Listen to her, fantastic advice.

    Pos Rep.
    thankss, it just kind of came out! when I saw that u had quoted I was half expecting some kind of rant and neg rep!! (nothing personal but thats what tend to happen with emotional subjects!)
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    Seems to me like you need a radical change in your life... start doing things and put the past behind you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Beleive me, Ive tried that.
    Tried 20 or 30 different clubs over the past 10 years but no dice. Kept at most of them for months and even years in some cases.
    Over the past 10 years? Clubs since you were 8 years old...
    Something is fishy here...
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    Over the past 10 years? Clubs since you were 8 years old...
    Something is fishy here...
    I used to go to karate and gymnastics every week when I was 8. There's loads of stuff you can go to as a kid...
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    (Original post by littleshambles)
    I used to go to karate and gymnastics every week when I was 8. There's loads of stuff you can go to as a kid...
    ah i thought they meant like raving cubs/bars lol
 
 
 
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