Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Finding it hard to resist the sterootype (details inside) watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    For all my life, I've treated girls with respect, been nice to them and not said the comments that most boys make. Most boys try to act all cool and macho around girls, lots are obsessed with sex and stuff like that. I try to act different to that because I want to show a different side of boys to girls and I am not like that as a person.

    however, it has not got me a girlfriend and no sex either. all the tough, boastful boys get all the girlfriends and then when the girls realise they don't like them, they're in their mid 20's and early 30's and by that stage it's too late. i want a girlfriend and girls to like me now but i think my niceness is not going to get me anywhere fast. what should i do with myself? it is possible that i haven't met the right girl yet?

    I am 18 yrs old, for the record.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    *misspelling in title, should say stereotype, not sterootype
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Make sure your not confusing "cool and macho" with just being confident. As long as your confident, either sex, then the other will be attracted to you - within reason ofc.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Don't consciously try to be nice, just be real and sincere.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    *misspelling in title, should say stereotype, not sterootype
    Thanks for pointing that out :rolleyes:
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, its all about confidence. If you have none, then the girls aren't going to be too interested. If you're being really nice, and acting a bit like a pushover, and willing to do everything without being asked, then (unfortunatly) that's not really what girls go for either. I don't think I'd be too into a guy that doesn't have much of a backbone/doesn't stand up for himself.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    You're probably trying too hard to be nice. I know this isn't what I'm supposed to say, but personally I don't find really nice guys at ALL attractive.

    No one wants a **** either though. Just act like yourself.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Trying to be something you're not is so not the right way to get a girlfriend.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My boyfriend's really nice, has never been the type of guy that tries to act all "macho" etc all the time, and we've been together for 2 years. There's no way I'd still be with him if he was just obsessed with sex and nothing else. The right girl will come along, maybe you're just not trying to get to know girls you like enough? Do you flirt with girls you like?

    EDIT: when I say "really nice" I don't mean a pushover or anything, in fact he's really stubborn, but he's not always showing off etc like most guys.

    And I agree that being too nice is definately bad, and confidence is really really important!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Whiney boys are so annoying
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    If you are a genuinely nice guy, then there will be a genuinely nice girl out there for you. Somewhere.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Nobody needs a 'Yes-man'. I once took a girl to see a film and after I asked her what she thought. She insisted that I tell her first, so I did, and she just agreed with everything I said. Obviously, she could have just agreed with me, but she did it for EVERYTHING. It just gets annoying.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by weet_ABI_x)
    You're probably trying too hard to be nice. I know this isn't what I'm supposed to say, but personally I don't find really nice guys at ALL attractive.

    No one wants a **** either though. Just act like yourself.
    so do you think I am being too nice?
    • #2
    #2

    I'm kinda in the same position as our OP here. Its so perverse how relationships work. I mean when girls are young they like confident men but when they get old they look at the bigger picture such as wealth and characteristics of men.

    I guess teenage testosterone is what attracts girls.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JemSevenV)
    Nobody needs a 'Yes-man'. I once took a girl to see a film and after I asked her what she thought. She insisted that I tell her first, so I did, and she just agreed with everything I said. Obviously, she could have just agreed with me, but she did it for EVERYTHING. It just gets annoying.
    Agreed. I've just met a lass who has a lot in common with me. It's all well and good having lots in common, but there has to be something to debate!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    In situations like this... Facebook is your friend
    Offline

    10
    If you're going to be a doormat girls are going to treat you like one: walk over you when their shoes are dirty and avoid you otherwise. You're just opening yourself to exploitation and losing your dignity while you're at it.

    Be your own man.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For all my life, I've treated girls with respect, been nice to them and not said the comments that most boys make. Most boys try to act all cool and macho around girls, lots are obsessed with sex and stuff like that. I try to act different to that because I want to show a different side of boys to girls and I am not like that as a person.

    however, it has not got me a girlfriend and no sex either. all the tough, boastful boys get all the girlfriends and then when the girls realise they don't like them, they're in their mid 20's and early 30's and by that stage it's too late. i want a girlfriend and girls to like me now but i think my niceness is not going to get me anywhere fast. what should i do with myself? it is possible that i haven't met the right girl yet?

    I am 18 yrs old, for the record.
    :congrats:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For all my life, I've treated girls with respect, been nice to them and not said the comments that most boys make. Most boys try to act all cool and macho around girls, lots are obsessed with sex and stuff like that. I try to act different to that because I want to show a different side of boys to girls and I am not like that as a person.
    Yeah its called flirting. You should try it sometime. If you don't, a girl is not going to know that you are interested in her.

    however, it has not got me a girlfriend and no sex either. all the tough, boastful boys get all the girlfriends and then when the girls realise they don't like them, they're in their mid 20's and early 30's and by that stage it's too late.
    Hang on a minute. You say all the other guys are interested in sex and then you moan about how you aren't getting any. FFS.

    But please don't generalise about adult relationships. Not all of them end for the reason you listed.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For all my life, I've treated girls with respect, been nice to them and not said the comments that most boys make. Most boys try to act all cool and macho around girls, lots are obsessed with sex and stuff like that. I try to act different to that because I want to show a different side of boys to girls and I am not like that as a person.

    however, it has not got me a girlfriend and no sex either. all the tough, boastful boys get all the girlfriends and then when the girls realise they don't like them, they're in their mid 20's and early 30's and by that stage it's too late. i want a girlfriend and girls to like me now but i think my niceness is not going to get me anywhere fast. what should i do with myself? it is possible that i haven't met the right girl yet?

    I am 18 yrs old, for the record.

    Well not getting sex shouldn't be a problem for you, since you're not obsessed with sex, eh?

    It's perfectly possible to be a red-blooded sex-loving confident macho male who also treats his girlfriend with respect and gives her the life she deserves.

    Why would a woman go out with you when she can get a man who is both 'proper man' as well as respecting?

    Be yourself. And since you are a man, be a man, and stop pretending you're some hybrid between man and woman.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 7, 2009
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.