Men - They really are all the same!

Hey sweetie!

You know what I would do...not do anything.
I mean you go out and live your own life today as if you haden't planned anything ok?Whatever happens you DON'T phone h im or come into communication with him. If he tries to phone you today and tomorrow ignore the calls and just ignore him as if he didnt exist.
In two days when he'll try, pick it up and go : what you want? in a cold voice. If he wants to stay with you he'll tell you whats wrong and apologise. If he doesnt at least you dont look desperatly in love and hence it redeems you in a way

Good luck babe....Ill repeat again, guys arentworht it

Hi,

Just wondering if anyone has some useful advice because I feel so desperate right now

Me and my boyfriend were meant to be spending the whole day together in London - I cancelled plans with my family and bought loads of food so we could go and have a picnic in Hyde Park. (We live about an hour away - me SW London and him SE London).

He texts me at 9am this morning (an hour before we're going to meet) saying he can't make it because of engineering works on the line which have closed the whole train line. We've been together a few months and although I trust him, I looked on the internet just to check he wasn't lying. I know for a fact that trains are running as normal from his to Waterloo - I even spoke to the woman at his train station as I couldn't believe he would lie to me.

I told him what I knew and he still insisted he was telling the truth, when he obviously is not. He turned the whole thing round on me saying 'you should trust me... you obviously don't want to be with me' etc... Maybe I should have trusted him - that's a different matter - but obviously my doubts in him were true!

I phoned him and he still lied to me - I really don't know why.

He went to a party last night and stayed over - all I can think is that he's met someone else. I really can't understand why he would so blatanty lie to me! We have a great relationship, and neither of us wants it to end as far as I know!

I'm just so annoyed because I'm sure he could get to Waterloo if he wanted - get a bus or taxi, or get to a station closeby which is on a different line - I'm going insane here! His friends and family drive.... god I mean there are plenty of ways that he *could* solve the 'problem'!

What should I do? I've never been in love before but I know he's lying to me! I've given everything to him and he promised he wouldn't hurt me - I really should have listened to my Dad when he said men are only after one thing!!!

Thanks for any advice... x x x

Aww...*hugs*

Well i guess you really have several options....

1) Talk to him and try to get him to tell you what is going on, whether there is a reason he doesn't want to make the effort to see you, whether there is someone else and whether or not he wants to be in the relationship....

2) Ignore him.....now i personally think this is the more immature option- if i were you i would want to sort things out, to know where i stood.

If you really want to get to the bottom of things, and find out one way or the other, i really suggest you try and talk to him again...make sure that you explain why what he has done has made you upset and try not to get too worked up- if you stay calm its more likely he will listen and more likely he will respond.

Good luck! hope it works out for you, if you need to talk to anyone just drop me a pm or add me to msn (address in my profile)

Ruthie xx

EDIT: Make it clear to him that you are not just going to forgive him, but that you want to know what is going on, and don't be too soft on him, he's obviously upset you a lot.

Thanks honey - that's great advice! Trouble is I'm in agony trying to do that... I can't ignore him even though I know I should... I wish I could just switch my feelings off, but I can't - why do things like this have to be so damn difficult?!

Thanks again x

Thanks Ruthie... you guys have such great advice! I've already tried option one - I was really calm on the phone, didn't sound like a stalker or anything lol! He still insisted there were engineering works - which is a categoric lie! - and told me he loved me, doesn't want to be with anyone else... bla bla bla. Trouble is I just can't ignore him, so I really don't know what to do.

He's four years older than me and has had a few serious relationships, whereas I haven't, so this is a really big deal for me and I'm just so confused. It's like a heart v head thing I think - I know that something isn't right, but I don't want to believe it as when we're together it's just so amazing... argh!

You HAVE to resist
Goooo Lauren you can do it!!! REsist resist resist!
When I've had fights with bfs i tried diff tactics..once ignored really badly and another time tried to sort things out. THe ignoring one alawyas worked muuuuuch more
Go do some sport or watch some film! At least resist until tomorrow

Is there anywhere else that you could meet? That he could get to by bus or something? It might be easier to talk to each other face to face... Did he suggest anything else instead of meeting in london? Or another time for you to meet?

It seems very odd that he would continue to lie to you and yet keep telling you that he loves you etc.....I don't see why he would say all the nice things to you if he didn't mean them...especially as he's already said he can't see you today.

You must be feeling really confused... i know i would be *more hugs*

Ruthie xx

Is there anywhere else that you could meet? That he could get to by bus or something? It might be easier to talk to each other face to face... Did he suggest anything else instead of meeting in london? Or another time for you to meet?

It seems very odd that he would continue to lie to you and yet keep telling you that he loves you etc.....I don't see why he would say all the nice things to you if he didn't mean them...especially as he's already said he can't see you today.

You must be feeling really confused... i know i would be *more hugs*

Ruthie xx

Have you met them all?

So you're pissed off that your boyfriend is a lying bastard, you have to try and insult the whole gender?

Yeah. I would try to help but what'd be the point seeing as I'm exactly the same as your boyfriend?

So you're pissed off that your boyfriend is a lying bastard, you have to try and insult the whole gender?