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The Diary of a BMW driver watch

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    "The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

    First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

    The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

    Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

    Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

    Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

    Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

    He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

    Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

    Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

    See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! "
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    Pics or it didn't happen.
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    Seriously what the hell are you talking about?!

    you drive a bmw and got caught speeding thats all you need to put.

    Go to bed if your bored!!!!!! Im going to
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    The 1990's called. They want their joke back.
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    (Original post by hobo06)
    Pics or it didn't happen.
    Facepalm or you didn't happen.
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    (Original post by Sync)
    The 1990's called. They want their joke back.
    The irony.
    Yes, I'm a hypocrite
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    What a funny story!
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    Looooooooolll why is everyone hating haha that was funny llol
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    Cool, what's it like to own a BMW? When you wake up each morning is it like: 'Damn son, I drive a BMW!'?
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    Everyone knows that joke! It's really not funny anymore!
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    (Original post by AP123)
    Cool, what's it like to own a BMW? When you wake up each morning is it like: 'Damn son, I drive a BMW!'?
    That's exactly what it's like. I also noticed that my penis grew by several inches when I purchased my BMW. Like a freakin' baseball bat now, all thanks to the Bimmer! It'll change your life....
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    Firstly I'd like to "lol" at all the people who think he actually drives a BMW and was serious.

    Secondly I'd like to point out how utterly unlolworthy the original post is. Bitter much?
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    (Original post by Sync)
    That's exactly what it's like. I also noticed that my penis grew by several inches when I purchased my BMW. Like a freakin' baseball bat now, all thanks to the Bimmer! It'll change your life....
    If it's a 3 series please chop off those several inches, or just go for the whole thing actually.
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    (Original post by charleebobs)
    Are you trying to compensate for something by constantly mentioning that you drive a BMW??
    Seriously, you aren't the only one.
    Are you seriously that thick?
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    I approve of this post and wish to remove some of the original poster's red gems.
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    I laughed.
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    You're like Ron Burgundy.. But with a cool car. J'adore.
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    (Original post by AP123)
    If it's a 3 series please chop off those several inches, or just go for the whole thing actually.
    Damn straight, 328i Sport. Naturally I bought it for the BMW image and the fine ass *****es attracted to said image. Certainly, I didn't buy it for its handling, straight six engine or because it's one of the best FR cars in that price range. Still, gotta strive for an X5/X6 next - that's where all the pussy's at. Plus it'll make my schlong even longer. Yo' dig, bro?
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    I lol'ed.

    As T-Star said, you're def a Ron Burgundy.
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    (Original post by Sync)
    Damn straight, 328i Sport. Naturally I bought it for the BMW image and the fine ass *****es attracted to said image. Certainly, I didn't buy it for its handling, straight six engine or because it's one of the best FR cars in that price range. Still, gotta strive for an X5/X6 next - that's where all the pussy's at. Plus it'll make my schlong even longer. Yo' dig, bro?
    :claps:

    Look forward to meeting you at the lights, I'll be the guy in the 2000 1.8 Mondeo.
 
 
 

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