Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    it's hard knowing you just will never in this whole life of yours ever get over something you've done
    it's just so so hard to grasp how bad things are and try and get over them
    urgh it just makes me sob so much and i know it's pathetic and it's hard to admit it to you guys but it's the truth
    meh
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by death.drop)
    having a low weekend.

    I got this stupid book about sexual recovery from abuse and I've asked webber to sit down and help me with this activity for four days in a row and every day he ends up playing his bloody cricket game. It's the first time I've ever felt really unsupported by him.

    I'd lost 9lbs since I officially decided to shift the anti depressant weight and then I ate and drank like a pig and gained 3 back.

    yesterday I was supposed to go to webber's parents for a meal and to play cards (his birthday thing) and I got incredibly high levels of anxiety and ended up not going. I was petrified of eating loads, there were 3 desserts and I didn't want to have any attention on me because I wasn't eating any. I don't know how to play the games they were going to play and I was scared that I'd end up sitting on my own in a corner or that they'd all try to teach me how to play and I'm so stupid I wouldn't understand. I started crying because I was so worried and then I said I wasn't going and that made me feel worse because I was being so selfish.

    We had some people over saturday night for his birthday and he ended up ignoring me all night - none of my friends showed up and loads of people were there that I either didn't know or don't get on with at all and then I got all emotional with my brother (nick) and started crying about how I'll never see him if I move out and the whole family is falling apart.

    It's pub night tonight and that means i'll be eating out and drinking again which is really really bad for this whole weight issue and probably my relationship because I know I'm going to flip out at webber for not helping me with my book.

    how's everyone else?

    Ah post-antidepressant weight, i know the feeling, I lost 2 stone of mine, and now it's the winter, and my SAD has kicked in, it's piling back on again, sleeping loads, eating loads- my appetite is huge. I'm starting a gym membership tomorrow, and will be paying loads for it, so i'm going to decide to go sit in the spa or steam room there when i fancy a curry or to lie on the sofa all day! It's ok to treat yourself now and again though- I have one chocolate bar a day and still loose weight!

    I'm ok-ish, finding myself getting back into old habits of staying in and pretending nothign exists tho, shocked myself this afternoon by actually doing some chores i had to do, am still avoiding doctors and am deciding to save for a light box, they're over £200 but i'm going to work loads over xmas to get one, only hope really
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Malsy)
    it's hard knowing you just will never in this whole life of yours ever get over something you've done
    it's just so so hard to grasp how bad things are and try and get over them
    urgh it just makes me sob so much and i know it's pathetic and it's hard to admit it to you guys but it's the truth
    meh
    know the feeling. like I said, I got this sexual healing book and it's really really tough reading it and accepting that I will never be 'normal' and I just have to find a way to best cope with my lot.

    (Original post by foamyfruit)
    Ah post-antidepressant weight, i know the feeling, I lost 2 stone of mine, and now it's the winter, and my SAD has kicked in, it's piling back on again, sleeping loads, eating loads- my appetite is huge. I'm starting a gym membership tomorrow, and will be paying loads for it, so i'm going to decide to go sit in the spa or steam room there when i fancy a curry or to lie on the sofa all day! It's ok to treat yourself now and again though- I have one chocolate bar a day and still loose weight!
    my problem is I hate exercise, the feeling of becoming physically strained usually causes me to have panic attacks/flashbacks. so any weight I lose has to be through walking and diet, but it's been so cold these last few weeks I've done the absolute minimum dog walking.
    I'm going to try to get down to around 8 stone, which means I'll be a little lower than the weight I was when I started on citalopram and I still have to lose around 2 stone, which is a daunting prospect.
    I keep seeing photos of me before I gained all the weight and it's so depressing to think I could eat what I liked and look like that, and now because of some stupid pills that I should never have been on in the first place I have to work really hard just to look like a blob.

    I'm ok-ish, finding myself getting back into old habits of staying in and pretending nothign exists tho, shocked myself this afternoon by actually doing some chores i had to do, am still avoiding doctors and am deciding to save for a light box, they're over £200 but i'm going to work loads over xmas to get one, only hope really
    congrats on doing something, how come you;re avoiding the doctors?
    yikes at the cost of a light box, I assume you mean the ones to combat SAD, is there any way you can get some help with funding for that?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by death.drop)
    know the feeling. like I said, I got this sexual healing book and it's really really tough reading it and accepting that I will never be 'normal' and I just have to find a way to best cope with my lot.


    my problem is I hate exercise, the feeling of becoming physically strained usually causes me to have panic attacks/flashbacks. so any weight I lose has to be through walking and diet, but it's been so cold these last few weeks I've done the absolute minimum dog walking.
    I'm going to try to get down to around 8 stone, which means I'll be a little lower than the weight I was when I started on citalopram and I still have to lose around 2 stone, which is a daunting prospect.
    I keep seeing photos of me before I gained all the weight and it's so depressing to think I could eat what I liked and look like that, and now because of some stupid pills that I should never have been on in the first place I have to work really hard just to look like a blob.


    congrats on doing something, how come you;re avoiding the doctors?
    yikes at the cost of a light box, I assume you mean the ones to combat SAD, is there any way you can get some help with funding for that?
    I was on citalopram when I put on weight too!!! Evil thing, although the depression doesn't help either, dont let it take over your life tho- controlling your weight and obsessing/worrying about it is not a healthy thing to do

    Yeah the light boxes to combat SAD are unfortunately not available on the NHS, and all my GP wants to do is plop me right back onto antidepressants and counselling- which IMO is a waste of time, antidepressants made my life hell last year, and i don't NEED counselling, nothing in my life is affecting me or making me depressed- theoretically i should be ok! So a lightbox is the next solution unfortunately, however if it works- my god it'll make my life better, I'm counting down the days to march!

    March-may is when i start feeling better again, and i'm absoloutely fine between then and september- so between now and then i need a miracle tbh, as- as much as I realise, i don't have the same depression you guys have- I feel, awful every day, i don't want to wake up, just sleep and well I feel there isn't a point being here most of the time, I hate it- I have NO reason to feel like this, I just need a miracle
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    How do you lot live your lives? Being in education I've managed to skive whenever I feel really low, but I can't imagine what its like being in a full-time job.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Gascoigne)
    How do you lot live your lives? Being in education I've managed to skive whenever I feel really low, but I can't imagine what its like being in a full-time job.

    Well- I study fulltime to be a nurse, and manage perfectly well, if anything my work is my escape, i just immerse myself in it when i'm low
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm the opposite tbh, but its more of an anxiety thing than a depression I think. When I'm low I can't leave my room let alone attend lectures. Wish I'd grow up and cope better
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I dropped out of uni and now I do nothing.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I imagine thatll be me soon
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Well do everything you can to make sure it isn't. My life is pathetic.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Hmmm...exams in two weeks, would revise but I've been getting the worst headaches and have no energy what so ever. Whenever I'm in my room I just hit my pillow...soooo tired. whats up with my appetite too? seems to be non-existant at the moment...I hate my body. Why won't it just behave!? I get the shakes too from time to time. Normal?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Hmmm...exams in two weeks, would revise but I've been getting the worst headaches and have no energy what so ever. Whenever I'm in my room I just hit my pillow...soooo tired. whats up with my appetite too? seems to be non-existant at the moment...I hate my body. Why won't it just behave!? I get the shakes too from time to time. Normal?
    Maybe it's cos you're nervous about the exams? Is it any better working in the library? Or if there's somebody you can study with?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by superwolf)
    Maybe it's cos you're nervous about the exams? Is it any better working in the library? Or if there's somebody you can study with?
    I haven't really been thinking about the exams to be honest...it just seems to be an on going thing. I know I have problems with food anyway so I'm trying to take things at my own pace I'm just worried that people will think I'm some sort of freak or get offended that I don't eat all their food. I tend to work better on my own but maybe I could give the library a shot tomorrow, see if it helps. Just need my energy back and for the headaches and lack of appetite to disappear then I'll be a happy bunny. Grr can't wait to see the doctor so I can get this thing, this invisible monster to go away.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    I haven't really been thinking about the exams to be honest...it just seems to be an on going thing. I know I have problems with food anyway so I'm trying to take things at my own pace I'm just worried that people will think I'm some sort of freak or get offended that I don't eat all their food. I tend to work better on my own but maybe I could give the library a shot tomorrow, see if it helps. Just need my energy back and for the headaches and lack of appetite to disappear then I'll be a happy bunny. Grr can't wait to see the doctor so I can get this thing, this invisible monster to go away.
    Never worry about people thinking you're a freak. Anybody worth talking to will see you for what you are - freakish or not - and love you for it. And everyone else can go **** themselves. Or that's my philosophy at least. Hope the headache goes away.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by superwolf)
    Never worry about people thinking you're a freak. Anybody worth talking to will see you for what you are - freakish or not - and love you for it. And everyone else can go **** themselves. Or that's my philosophy at least. Hope the headache goes away.
    Thanks . It's just I've been a bit cautious as to who I've told about my anxiety etc. The people I have told seem to be really understanding but my old friends, who've known me prior to the attacts, I'm affraid wont understand. I guess if they are worth it then they'll be just as understanding and if not then they aren't worth it.
    Thanks for the advice, I'm always worrying too much about what others think of me, its time to stop worrying and just concentrate on getting better. I should get some sleep now.
    Hope you have a good day tomorrow.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    hi guys!

    i've found another person who dislikes being at ucl today, so i'm happy. There are other people in the world that hate uni as much as me .

    How was your days? Mine was really really cold - weather is so **** these days!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Thanks . It's just I've been a bit cautious as to who I've told about my anxiety etc. The people I have told seem to be really understanding but my old friends, who've known me prior to the attacts, I'm affraid wont understand. I guess if they are worth it then they'll be just as understanding and if not then they aren't worth it.
    Thanks for the advice, I'm always worrying too much about what others think of me, its time to stop worrying and just concentrate on getting better. I should get some sleep now.
    Hope you have a good day tomorrow.
    I think me and you should both give up academia and go travelling around the world . That'll cheer us up. Also we'd have nothing to worry about either. That is my plan for after uni - go travelling - i've had enough of the cold, the misery and the depression of being in london, studying something i do not like, having no friends and living at home with overpossessive, strict parents

    *breathes deeply* .... *is calm*
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    hi guys!

    i've found another person who dislikes being at ucl today, so i'm happy. There are other people in the world that hate uni as much as me .

    How was your days? Mine was really really cold - weather is so **** these days!
    My day's been rubbish so far except that I made cake. And I get to open the first door on my advent calendar. I love seasonal chocolate.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    hi guys!

    i've found another person who dislikes being at ucl today, so i'm happy. There are other people in the world that hate uni as much as me .

    How was your days? Mine was really really cold - weather is so **** these days!
    :five: I hate uni too. I have no friends, I can't do the work, it sucks all round.


    I just got back from 2 hours of lectures, I just sat and thought about how much work I should be doing and how I'm pretty sure they're going to either kick me out or force me to take a gap year if I haven't got my act together by next term. Damn. I'm totally ******.

    On the plus side I think for the first time ever the meds are actually having some kind of effect :eek: I'm still depressed as **** but other things are a fair bit better.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :five: I hate uni too. I have no friends, I can't do the work, it sucks all round.


    I just got back from 2 hours of lectures, I just sat and thought about how much work I should be doing and how I'm pretty sure they're going to either kick me out or force me to take a gap year if I haven't got my act together by next term. Damn. I'm totally ******.

    On the plus side I think for the first time ever the meds are actually having some kind of effect :eek: I'm still depressed as **** but other things are a fair bit better.
    Sunshine, happiness and all that kind of thing. Hope they keep working.
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 22, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.