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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :cry:

    everything is horrible. I'm sick of everything. I can't do uni, I can't do a job, I can't do life. I can't even explain...the pills seem to be working a bit but I'm really confused I still feel like killing myself, probably more than ever even without the constant encouragement. Going to class at uni just makes me feel even worse, I can't take notes as I can't concentrate and anyway I doubt I'll still be here next term so what's the point. The thought of failing though, it's awful, this really was my last chance and I've ****** it up. My CPN offered to find me somewhere to live when I drop out, like she already knows I'm going to fail. Everything I try I **** up. I'm mediocre at everything...sport, academia, life. I'm tired of being the mediocre weirdo freak who everyone avoids in case they catch rabies. I just want to be normal.
    :console:

    With regards to you wanting to feel normal, the phrase "I'm unique...just like everybody else" springs to mind - so you are
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :cry:

    everything is horrible. I'm sick of everything. I can't do uni, I can't do a job, I can't do life. I can't even explain...the pills seem to be working a bit but I'm really confused I still feel like killing myself, probably more than ever even without the constant encouragement. Going to class at uni just makes me feel even worse, I can't take notes as I can't concentrate and anyway I doubt I'll still be here next term so what's the point. The thought of failing though, it's awful, this really was my last chance and I've ****** it up. My CPN offered to find me somewhere to live when I drop out, like she already knows I'm going to fail. Everything I try I **** up. I'm mediocre at everything...sport, academia, life. I'm tired of being the mediocre weirdo freak who everyone avoids in case they catch rabies. I just want to be normal.
    hi sabertooth,

    sorry to hear you're having a bad day. Have you had a nervous breakdown yet? Not sure if it'd help if you had one but what you wrote above sounds similar to what i went through days on end when i was at my old uni. What happened next was that i had a few proper nervous breakdowns, felt suicidal, blah blah:O. Anyhow the final outcome was that i gave up on uni and did f**k all work. I didn't give a damn cos i saw the big picture and told myself that my health was more important than uni. So i ended up bunking lots of lessons, did anything that kept me happy like playing games, eating cakes and pizza and climbing. At the end of the year i did minimal revision and got kicked out of uni. I didn't care tbh . So after than i had a year out working in a book shop and partly in an office. In this year out i met some very very lovely people whom i'm still in touch with. I also met lots of climbers and had my first experience climbing outdoors on real rock. It was a breath of fresh air and uni after it was still **** but i went to a lower uni so it was easier and i just do the same...piss around and do the bare minimum and never let uni get in the way of my happiness.

    I'm not sure about your exact situation but i just wanted to tell you my story just to let you know it's not the end of the world if you don't like uni. I stuck out the year but wished i had dropped out. You could drop out and take a break for a few years until you decide what you want to do etc

    Uni is ****! - i hate it and can't wait to leave i hope some of what i wrote helps/is of comfort

    blue
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    (Original post by Emsybean)
    :console:

    With regards to you wanting to feel normal, the phrase "I'm unique...just like everybody else" springs to mind - so you are
    I've had enough of being unique, I'm sick of being excluded and picked on.

    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    hi sabertooth,

    sorry to hear you're having a bad day. Have you had a nervous breakdown yet? Not sure if it'd help if you had one but what you wrote above sounds similar to what i went through days on end when i was at my old uni. What happened next was that i had a few proper nervous breakdowns, felt suicidal, blah blah:O. Anyhow the final outcome was that i gave up on uni and did f**k all work. I didn't give a damn cos i saw the big picture and told myself that my health was more important than uni. So i ended up bunking lots of lessons, did anything that kept me happy like playing games, eating cakes and pizza and climbing. At the end of the year i did minimal revision and got kicked out of uni. I didn't care tbh . So after than i had a year out working in a book shop and partly in an office. In this year out i met some very very lovely people whom i'm still in touch with. I also met lots of climbers and had my first experience climbing outdoors on real rock. It was a breath of fresh air and uni after it was still **** but i went to a lower uni so it was easier and i just do the same...piss around and do the bare minimum and never let uni get in the way of my happiness.

    I'm not sure about your exact situation but i just wanted to tell you my story just to let you know it's not the end of the world if you don't like uni. I stuck out the year but wished i had dropped out. You could drop out and take a break for a few years until you decide what you want to do etc

    Uni is ****! - i hate it and can't wait to leave i hope some of what i wrote helps/is of comfort

    blue
    You do talk sense. Problem is I've been to so many unis and done so many courses that I feel like a total failure if I drop out not to mention the amount of debt I have all for nothing. Add to that the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to do a job right now so it would basically be me dropping out, getting a ****** little flat somewhere in this city that I hate and then spending each day thinking up ever more original ways to kill myself.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I've had enough of being unique, I'm sick of being excluded and picked on.



    You do talk sense. Problem is I've been to so many unis and done so many courses that I feel like a total failure if I drop out not to mention the amount of debt I have all for nothing. Add to that the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to do a job right now so it would basically be me dropping out, getting a ****** little flat somewhere in this city that I hate and then spending each day thinking up ever more original ways to kill myself.
    go to another city and get a job there. There are lots of nice cities in america. I suggest some nice quite place somewhere. It would be a great place to reflect.

    And don't worry about dropping out mate. I went to 3 uni's and 4 courses remember! i feel the same but i just keep myself busy by procrastinating and ****. I had a really tuff lecture on the J2 parameter in my oceans module. I was like "wtf", but i don't give a damn . Try giving the "**** it" mentality a go. It might help u feel better.

    as for debt. that can be written off . You're too young to think about that!

    Where in the USA are you from anyhow? I'm from London.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    go to another city and get a job there. There are lots of nice cities in america. I suggest some nice quite place somewhere. It would be a great place to reflect.

    And don't worry about dropping out mate. I went to 3 uni's and 4 courses remember! i feel the same but i just keep myself busy by procrastinating and ****. I had a really tuff lecture on the J2 parameter in my oceans module. I was like "wtf", but i don't give a damn . Try giving the "**** it" mentality a go. It might help u feel better.

    as for debt. that can be written off . You're too young to think about that!

    Where in the USA are you from anyhow? I'm from London.
    I'm not from the states sadly. :/ It's my life dream to move there but it's pretty unlikely to ever happen. Even less likely if I don't even have a degree. That's the only reason I'm persevering with uni.

    I'm currently trying the "**** it" attitude but it's not really working. 3 essays due and the lecturers haven't emailled me back saying that I can have an extension so kind of ******, not that I'll manage to do them even with an extension

    And the debt...****...I've given up opening letters from the SLC as it just depresses me more how much debt I have and nothing to show for it except a massively increased alcohol tolerance.


    How're you, anyway?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I've had enough of being unique, I'm sick of being excluded and picked on.
    I was trying to say that because the concept of being unique can apply to every human being, every human being is therefore 'normal', so there really isn't any such thing as being unique...
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I know. But tbh, to me, most people fit in the box marked "normal" and share common characteristics which is why they fit in the box. I don't sadly. I'd love to be one of them blonde popular girls with ugg boots and backcombed dyed long hair listening to ****** music and talking about which guys have a crush on me. You know, without a care in the world.
    Yes, I know what you mean :hugs:

    Btw sorry if that last post sounded a bit *****y, I'm not really that good with this whole trying-to-help people-out-over-the-internet thing:o:
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    i just cant cope anymore.
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    (Original post by Emsybean)
    Yes, I know what you mean :hugs:

    Btw sorry if that last post sounded a bit *****y, I'm not really that good with this whole trying-to-help people-out-over-the-internet thing:o:
    Nah you sounded fine, don't worry about it.

    You alright?
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    (Original post by SuicidalLemming)
    i just cant cope anymore.
    Sup?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm not from the states sadly. :/ It's my life dream to move there but it's pretty unlikely to ever happen. Even less likely if I don't even have a degree. That's the only reason I'm persevering with uni.

    I'm currently trying the "**** it" attitude but it's not really working. 3 essays due and the lecturers haven't emailled me back saying that I can have an extension so kind of ******, not that I'll manage to do them even with an extension

    And the debt...****...I've given up opening letters from the SLC as it just depresses me more how much debt I have and nothing to show for it except a massively increased alcohol tolerance.


    How're you, anyway?
    i'm okay thanks...been procrastinating all day and i've got an essay to do! :eek:....oh well, **** it - will do it tomorrow evening, i hope! *closes book in front of him*

    so if you are not from america, where are you from mate? You need to change your flag!!!! I thought u were a cool american!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Sup?
    Everythings just pileing up on me tbh. My tablets aren't working so much anymore and I just feel dizzy cuz I never want to eat.
    My doctor told me I put too much pressure on myself...its just stupid, I've got an interview for medschool tomorrow, I should have no reason to feel like I'm at the bottom of a big hole but I do

    Hows you?
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    (Original post by SuicidalLemming)
    Everythings just pileing up on me tbh. My tablets aren't working so much anymore and I just feel dizzy cuz I never want to eat.
    My doctor told me I put too much pressure on myself...its just stupid, I've got an interview for medschool tomorrow, I should have no reason to feel like I'm at the bottom of a big hole but I do

    Hows you?
    Have you told your dr the tablets have stopped working? I've heard of that happening before actually...

    I imagine a med school interview would be a hell of a lot of pressure on you. Good luck with it. I can understand why you're putting pressure on yourself I don't really know what to suggest tbh tbh with depression you don't really need a reason to feel ****, it just seems to happen so don't feel abnormal or anything. I really admire that you're trying to go to med school despite depression. And I sincerely hope you get it



    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    i'm okay thanks...been procrastinating all day and i've got an essay to do! :eek:....oh well, **** it - will do it tomorrow evening, i hope! *closes book in front of him*

    so if you are not from america, where are you from mate? You need to change your flag!!!! I thought u were a cool american!
    haha wish I could take that attitude!

    I'm from England...sadly. But I'll never change the flag :p: Got one on my bedroom wall too The American dream is pretty much the only thing that keeps me going most of the time.
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    (Original post by SuicidalLemming)
    Everythings just pileing up on me tbh. My tablets aren't working so much anymore and I just feel dizzy cuz I never want to eat.
    My doctor told me I put too much pressure on myself...its just stupid, I've got an interview for medschool tomorrow, I should have no reason to feel like I'm at the bottom of a big hole but I do

    Hows you?
    you do parkour wooo! I used to do it before i injured myself . I hope you get well soon. Go for a country walk. That usually refreshes the mind and helps to put life into context Don't go to med school It's lots of hard work, scary and depressing. Also medics are really stuck up (well the ones at ucl are!)
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    I'm back
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    Gee_shakedown.. Whats wrong. Talk to a fellow depression society member. Maybe we can talk about some things worrying you. Share experiences.
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    (Original post by Andyuhoh)
    Gee_shakedown.. Whats wrong. Talk to a fellow depression society member. Maybe we can talk about some things worrying you. Share experiences.
    I've had depression on and off since I started secondary school, but it got really quite severe during 6th form, I ended up going to Australia for the Summer to see if that might help alleviate it, which it didn't do entirely but helped.
    Anyway, I started uni in September, had an okay first couple of weeks, and now have completely crashed. I feel utterly isolated and lonely, feel scared to even go into the kitchen or out of my room if I hear people around. I know it's irrational, but it genuinely makes me feel nervous.
    I'm finding the workload much harder than I anticipated, I constantly seem to be working, yet not getting anywhere. Even when I've been trying my hardest I've only got two 2.2s and a low 2.1.
    I'm at the stage where I don't feel like getting out of bed, or even if I do I just end up in my room, doing nothing except working, which is getting my so worked up.
    I'm going home this week for Christmas, but I'm not close to my family, and have no friends at home, so I'll just be sitting in my room for a month.
    I just feel completely devoid of happiness.
    What's going on with your life?
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    (Original post by gee_shakedown)
    I've had depression on and off since I started secondary school, but it got really quite severe during 6th form, I ended up going to Australia for the Summer to see if that might help alleviate it, which it didn't do entirely but helped.
    Anyway, I started uni in September, had an okay first couple of weeks, and now have completely crashed. I feel utterly isolated and lonely, feel scared to even go into the kitchen or out of my room if I hear people around. I know it's irrational, but it genuinely makes me feel nervous.
    I'm finding the workload much harder than I anticipated, I constantly seem to be working, yet not getting anywhere. Even when I've been trying my hardest I've only got two 2.2s and a low 2.1.
    I'm at the stage where I don't feel like getting out of bed, or even if I do I just end up in my room, doing nothing except working, which is getting my so worked up.
    I'm going home this week for Christmas, but I'm not close to my family, and have no friends at home, so I'll just be sitting in my room for a month.
    I just feel completely devoid of happiness.
    What's going on with your life?
    I am so sorry you feel that way, most of the time I do also.
    Well. finished sixth form june 2008, had a place for sept 2009. Head wasn't in the right place as I avoided anything to do with uni for the gap year I had. I am finding it so hard to concentrate on choosing a course for this year, dont know what I want or why. Scared to death, I don't know how to be independent, how to be an adult, how to be successful. Feel like crap sometimes, feel empty others. University is always on my mind and I just want responsibility and it all to go away. Theoretically I could but it would come back to haunt me later in life and I don't want that. My parents would put pressure on me sooner rather than later. I just feel like this scared little 10 year old.....
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    Advice of the day: go out and buy a kilo of biscuits. It's made me happy. Although I did just fail to convince a social worker I don't have an eating disorder (I really don't, just lost a lot of weight when on citalopram). So a mixed sort of day so far. Has anyone here ever seen a psychologist? Apparently I'm getting one, but I'm not really sure what to expect. Are they any use?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Advice of the day: go out and buy a kilo of biscuits. It's made me happy. Although I did just fail to convince a social worker I don't have an eating disorder (I really don't, just lost a lot of weight when on citalopram). So a mixed sort of day so far. Has anyone here ever seen a psychologist? Apparently I'm getting one, but I'm not really sure what to expect. Are they any use?
    Biscuits are good, especially with tea.

    I've been assessed like 4 weeks ago to see a psychologist, apparently they're compiling the report and then I'll see them so can't really help unless you want to know the kind of questions they ask when assessing if they can help you.



    I feel like a massive failure. I've given in 1 out of 4 essays all term and I just got it back....52 :cry: That's the worse mark I've ever got on an essay and I really put as much work as I could into it. I really don't think I can cope with coming back here after xmas but I have no alternatives.
 
 
 
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