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Depression Society MKIII
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RachelOranges
I doubt it to be honest. I'm not really attracted to them physically/mentally...but...I'm more attracted to the idea of being wanted...if that makes sense. Gives me some sense of self worth, for so long I've felt that no one would ever want me, and now they do...
Yeah, that sounds nice... just don't lead the poor boy on.
Damn, I just realised I haven't eaten the chocolate in my advent calendar, but I've already brushed my teeth.
I'd better get some sleep now, got a social worker coming round tomorrow. Have a good day.
RachelOranges
Basically I'm was trying to explain to someone how I felt...they just couldn't get it...he wanted me to "let him in" I tried to explain but...I dunno. 
I just don't want a relationship right now because of where I am and what my head sometimes goes through, don't want to have to put someone through that, and commitment is something which scares the hell out of me.
I just don't want a relationship right now because of where I am and what my head sometimes goes through, don't want to have to put someone through that, and commitment is something which scares the hell out of me.maybe he was just after sex
blue_shift86
maybe he was just after sex
lol yeah I did seem that way. I kept saying "you don't want to be with me, I've got issues" but he didn't seem to really be listening. Nevermind eh, its going take someone REALLY special and with all the patience in the world to win my heart over
I'm a tough nut to crack.RachelOranges
lol yeah I did seem that way. I kept saying "you don't want to be with me, I've got issues" but he didn't seem to really be listening. Nevermind eh, its going take someone REALLY special and with all the patience in the world to win my heart over I'm a tough nut to crack.
I'm a tough nut to crack.awww...i'll be your best friend
. How are you today anyhow? My geophysics is driving me mad! The girl hat did the data processing didn't explain her working out and now i'm trying to decipher random .xls files 
blue_shift86
awww...i'll be your best friend . How are you today anyhow? My geophysics is driving me mad! The girl hat did the data processing didn't explain her working out and now i'm trying to decipher random .xls files
. How are you today anyhow? My geophysics is driving me mad! The girl hat did the data processing didn't explain her working out and now i'm trying to decipher random .xls files Thanks
I'm not too bad, still feel a bit scared about last night, I thought he was what I wanted but when we were together I just didn't feel anything, just scared, scared of where things could have gone, scared of letting him in in more ways than one. Why do I push people away? Part of me was scared he was going to hit me when I told him I didn't want a relationship. Why is that so hard for people to understand? I just want to be on my own and sort my damn head out and be a better person. Anyway enough about that.Ahh its tough working with other people isn't it? Especially when it doesn't feel like there is much communication going on. Is there anyone else in your group you could ask? I've got coursework I'm trying to work through but its so blahhh right now, and revision do to. I just want to get away right now, somewhere beautiful.
Malsy
urgh
Malsy whats up?
how is everyone?
death.drop
how is everyone?
My family are utter dicks and it's making me feel low
Nothos
My family are utter dicks and it's making me feel low
what's happened?
death.drop
how is everyone?
I'm in a crying my eyes out all day long sort of a mood. My doctor seems to think I might kill myself any day now, and I just wrote a note to my best friend explaining that I can't stand being around him or anyone else. I hate myself.
superwolf
I'm in a crying my eyes out all day long sort of a mood. My doctor seems to think I might kill myself any day now, and I just wrote a note to my best friend explaining that I can't stand being around him or anyone else. I hate myself.
do you think you might kill yourself any day now? You're the one in control of that so what your doctor thinks doesn't really matter.
I know what it's like to want to just cut yourself off from everyone and everything but be careful with it, because it's not easy to come back from.
did you doctor make any changes to your meds?
death.drop
do you think you might kill yourself any day now? You're the one in control of that so what your doctor thinks doesn't really matter.
I know what it's like to want to just cut yourself off from everyone and everything but be careful with it, because it's not easy to come back from.
did you doctor make any changes to your meds?
I know what it's like to want to just cut yourself off from everyone and everything but be careful with it, because it's not easy to come back from.
did you doctor make any changes to your meds?
Um... wasn't exactly planning to, just think about it all the time. Thing is I don't really trust my own judgement any more, I only seem to notice problems when it's already too late.
I don't want to cut myself off but I don't know how I can stop myself. I feel incredibly lonely most of the time but then when I'm with other people I feel even worse. So I think I'm basically screwed.
Still on the same antidepressants, but maybe getting switched in a couple of weeks.
Hope you're having a better day than me.
He doesn't even give a **** (my friend). Just heard him leave the house and he was laughing and talking like nothing had happened.
superwolf
He doesn't even give a **** (my friend). Just heard him leave the house and he was laughing and talking like nothing had happened.
I'm sure he cares but a lot of the time people don't know how to deal with this kind of thing so maybe it's just that?
How was the social worker?
Sabertooth
I'm sure he cares but a lot of the time people don't know how to deal with this kind of thing so maybe it's just that?
How was the social worker?
I'm sure he cares but a lot of the time people don't know how to deal with this kind of thing so maybe it's just that?
How was the social worker?
I dunno, he seemed pretty ******* happy.
Social worker was alright, just asked me a load of questions. Got another one coming tomorrow.
How're you?
Tried to be sociable by going to the clothes show with people today, they practically ignored me, so I stood behind to see if they noticed I'd gone. They didn't. I ended up sitting in the toilet for two hours crying, then just in a corner until it was time to go home
gee_shakedown
Tried to be sociable by going to the clothes show with people today, they practically ignored me, so I stood behind to see if they noticed I'd gone. They didn't. I ended up sitting in the toilet for two hours crying, then just in a corner until it was time to go home
Know the feeling. Hope you find some better friends.
superwolf
I dunno, he seemed pretty ******* happy.
Social worker was alright, just asked me a load of questions. Got another one coming tomorrow.
How're you?
Social worker was alright, just asked me a load of questions. Got another one coming tomorrow.
How're you?
I can imagine that really hurt hearing him and yeah it doesn't seem like he really thought things through too much but from my [limited] experience with telling people about stuff they generally don't know how to react and either suffocate me or abandon me never do the right thing (not that I'm even sure what that really is....). How did he react when you gave him the note?
Meh I'm pretty much same as usual.
i feel like i'm just not good enough for anything
