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Depression Society MKIII
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SuicidalLemming
Going back to college tomorrow after having three weeks off. Boy it'll be fun to catch up in all 6 subjects. Just kill me now.
good luck 
Malsy good luck
good luck Thanks.. you too on getting all your work done
Finally got the course work out of the way...I could have done better, I know that. Now to start revision for these exams. I can't even celebrate my birthday on Friday, not that I'm really fussed. I stopped looking forward to birthdays a long time ago.
Starting to get really nervous, my sister's coming to see me next week. After she left the last time I started getting worse and I'm scared that'll happen again. Don't know what I'll do if things get any worse than they are now. Wish I'd just told her I didn't want her to come.
i had a weird day. Two crap lectures
, then i get an email from a counsellor i saw just once! He said the counsellor that i saw the last two years (who 'retired') runs her own practice, privately. She told him that i can go and see her and that to tell her if i was interested and that she would tell me the fees
my old counsellor told me she was retiring/going to travel around the world, not set up a private practice. I feel so lied to
I can't trust anyone anymore
, then i get an email from a counsellor i saw just once! He said the counsellor that i saw the last two years (who 'retired') runs her own practice, privately. She told him that i can go and see her and that to tell her if i was interested and that she would tell me the fees my old counsellor told me she was retiring/going to travel around the world, not set up a private practice. I feel so lied to
I can't trust anyone anymore
blue_shift86
i had a weird day. Two crap lectures, then i get an email from a counsellor i saw just once! He said the counsellor that i saw the last two years (who 'retired') runs her own practice, privately. She told him that i can go and see her and that to tell her if i was interested and that she would tell me the fees
my old counsellor told me she was retiring/going to travel around the world, not set up a private practice. I feel so lied to
I can't trust anyone anymore
, then i get an email from a counsellor i saw just once! He said the counsellor that i saw the last two years (who 'retired') runs her own practice, privately. She told him that i can go and see her and that to tell her if i was interested and that she would tell me the fees my old counsellor told me she was retiring/going to travel around the world, not set up a private practice. I feel so lied to
I can't trust anyone anymore
Emsybean
ty for caring. If you ever need any help with physics, give me a pm 
superwolf
Starting to get really nervous, my sister's coming to see me next week. After she left the last time I started getting worse and I'm scared that'll happen again. Don't know what I'll do if things get any worse than they are now. Wish I'd just told her I didn't want her to come.
ahh I know the feeling, when I went home to visit I had my biggest panic attack to date. From then on I was petrified of going home but I thought that the longer I left it the worse things were going to get and I didn't want my family to feel that I didn't love/appreciate them. So I decided to feel the fear and go home ( like you I was worried that the same thing would happen with my anxiety/panic attacks) and amazingly I was fine. I was so determined to have a good time and not get wound up that I ended up enjoying my self. Again I'm nervous about going home but knowing that I've done it once before and been ok it kinda helps to know that I can do it again. After all I have no reason to be scared.I think like me, you should just let things happen as they happen. If you set your self up for a repeat of last time then it will happen again but if you set your self up with all the determination in the world to have a good time and enjoy your sisters company then I'm sure things will work out for you. I hope it goes well!
blue_shift86
i had a weird day. Two crap lectures, then i get an email from a counsellor i saw just once! He said the counsellor that i saw the last two years (who 'retired') runs her own practice, privately. She told him that i can go and see her and that to tell her if i was interested and that she would tell me the fees
my old counsellor told me she was retiring/going to travel around the world, not set up a private practice. I feel so lied to
I can't trust anyone anymore
, then i get an email from a counsellor i saw just once! He said the counsellor that i saw the last two years (who 'retired') runs her own practice, privately. She told him that i can go and see her and that to tell her if i was interested and that she would tell me the fees my old counsellor told me she was retiring/going to travel around the world, not set up a private practice. I feel so lied to
I can't trust anyone anymore
maybe that was her initial plan but then things happened and she decided to stick at the counselling. Don't let this affect your view of everyone else. I know it can be hard.How is everyone today. Been a bit up and down but mostly ok for me. There are some parts of this course I just DETEST with a passion though. I just want some me time.
RachelOranges maybe that was her initial plan but then things happened and she decided to stick at the counselling. Don't let this affect your view of everyone else. I know it can be hard.
How is everyone today. Been a bit up and down but mostly ok for me. There are some parts of this course I just DETEST with a passion though. I just want some me time.
maybe that was her initial plan but then things happened and she decided to stick at the counselling. Don't let this affect your view of everyone else. I know it can be hard.How is everyone today. Been a bit up and down but mostly ok for me. There are some parts of this course I just DETEST with a passion though. I just want some me time.
i'm ill Rachel. I think i've got flu. Got some meds today. Also i seemed to have lost my appetite today. I had 4 biscuits for breakfast with a cup of tea, then a small slice of cake for lunch with coffee, and a bowl of curry to drink for dinner. this is 20% of what I normally eat
. I've no idea what's wrong with me I hope your evening is better
blue_shift86 ty for caring. If you ever need any help with physics, give me a pm
ty for caring. If you ever need any help with physics, give me a pm Thanks but I don't do Physics anymore, I got a D at AS
But you're welcome anyhow
Emsybean
Thanks but I don't do Physics anymore, I got a D at AS
But you're welcome anyhow
But you're welcome anyhow
i saw your profile and that's why i thought i'd offer you my help
Hope you're having more fun with the other 3 A2's
I am now, my Media teacher says that I can restart my coursework after Christmas without any concrete deadlines, so that's a huge weight off my shoulders 
How is everyone tonight? Hugs to anyone who needs them
Very good actually, have been since I've started to get things sorted - hows about you?
blue_shift86
i'm ill Rachel. I think i've got flu. Got some meds today. Also i seemed to have lost my appetite today. I had 4 biscuits for breakfast with a cup of tea, then a small slice of cake for lunch with coffee, and a bowl of curry to drink for dinner. this is 20% of what I normally eat . I've no idea what's wrong with me
I hope your evening is better
. I've no idea what's wrong with me I hope your evening is better
Ah Im so sorry to hear that. Appetite usually disappears when having flu. Make sure you get pleanty of rest/fluids and eat small but regular meals to keep your strength up. Are you talking anything for it ( sorry you can tell I'm a Pharmacist student ahah).
Yeah this evening has been ok, scoffed down some yule cake and chocolate icecream with my housemate and her boyfriend which was nice ( haven't been able to stomach a lot today so I'm glad I managed that this evening). Its strange how I become so thankful at every chance I get to eat and finish a meal and enjoy it. Often eating just seems to be a chore...well ever since I've come here. Got so much revision to do is such little time and I have little energy but I'm doing my best to stay focused despite the many issues and distractions.
RachelOranges
Ah Im so sorry to hear that. Appetite usually disappears when having flu. Make sure you get pleanty of rest/fluids and eat small but regular meals to keep your strength up. Are you talking anything for it ( sorry you can tell I'm a Pharmacist student ahah).
Yeah this evening has been ok, scoffed down some yule cake and chocolate icecream with my housemate and her boyfriend which was nice ( haven't been able to stomach a lot today so I'm glad I managed that this evening). Its strange how I become so thankful at every chance I get to eat and finish a meal and enjoy it. Often eating just seems to be a chore...well ever since I've come here. Got so much revision to do is such little time and I have little energy but I'm doing my best to stay focused despite the many issues and distractions.
Yeah this evening has been ok, scoffed down some yule cake and chocolate icecream with my housemate and her boyfriend which was nice ( haven't been able to stomach a lot today so I'm glad I managed that this evening). Its strange how I become so thankful at every chance I get to eat and finish a meal and enjoy it. Often eating just seems to be a chore...well ever since I've come here. Got so much revision to do is such little time and I have little energy but I'm doing my best to stay focused despite the many issues and distractions.
nightnurse
. That is what the lady in the shop told me to take 
I'm an awful person. That's why I have so few friends. I'm fat and ugly and horrible to be around. No one at uni wants to know me. Recently I've been eating a lot of biscuits, sweets, chips and cider to try and feel even a bit better, but now none of my jeans fit so I'm wearing trackies all the time probably looking a total mess no wonder no one wants to know me. I'm staying with a friend's family over christmas, they're going to think I'm such a freak when they see my arm. I counted 34 recent cuts yesterday, that's on top of all the old ones. I'm a mess. It's looking more and more likely I'm going to be kicked out of uni next term, tomorrow in a seminar the lecturer is giving back essays - I haven't even started the damn thing yet and can't get myself to do it. That's going to be fun. When I get kicked out I've got no where to live, neither of my parents have room, I won't be able to play the sport I love anymore so I'll just get fatter and even more depressed. I really don't see the point in carrying on.
Sabertooth
I'm an awful person. That's why I have so few friends. I'm fat and ugly and horrible to be around. No one at uni wants to know me. Recently I've been eating a lot of biscuits, sweets, chips and cider to try and feel even a bit better, but now none of my jeans fit so I'm wearing trackies all the time probably looking a total mess no wonder no one wants to know me. I'm staying with a friend's family over christmas, they're going to think I'm such a freak when they see my arm. I counted 34 recent cuts yesterday, that's on top of all the old ones. I'm a mess. It's looking more and more likely I'm going to be kicked out of uni next term, tomorrow in a seminar the lecturer is giving back essays - I haven't even started the damn thing yet and can't get myself to do it. That's going to be fun. When I get kicked out I've got no where to live, neither of my parents have room, I won't be able to play the sport I love anymore so I'll just get fatter and even more depressed. I really don't see the point in carrying on.
You're not, and I'm certain you won't get kicked out of uni
Sabertooth
I'm an awful person. That's why I have so few friends. I'm fat and ugly and horrible to be around. No one at uni wants to know me. Recently I've been eating a lot of biscuits, sweets, chips and cider to try and feel even a bit better, but now none of my jeans fit so I'm wearing trackies all the time probably looking a total mess no wonder no one wants to know me. I'm staying with a friend's family over christmas, they're going to think I'm such a freak when they see my arm. I counted 34 recent cuts yesterday, that's on top of all the old ones. I'm a mess. It's looking more and more likely I'm going to be kicked out of uni next term, tomorrow in a seminar the lecturer is giving back essays - I haven't even started the damn thing yet and can't get myself to do it. That's going to be fun. When I get kicked out I've got no where to live, neither of my parents have room, I won't be able to play the sport I love anymore so I'll just get fatter and even more depressed. I really don't see the point in carrying on.
don't beat yourself up pleasse you're family wont think you're a freak I'm sure they wish that they could stop you from hurting and to take your pain away. I was worried that my family would think I'm a freak with all the junk floating around in my head but its at times like these were you need them and where they will be willing to support you because they love you. As for the essays...ahh I don't really look forward to getting my half assed attempt of a degree level essay back either but all you can do is your best.
Does your uni have a sports club especially for the sport you love? Why don't you join, no doubt you will meet some people there. Its never to late to make new friends just give your self a chance and believe that you deserve friends and happiness because you DO. Don't let the negative thoughts consume you because, as you know, nothing good can come out of it, you have the power to control your mind you just have to practice controlling it, when bad thoughts come try and counteract those thoughts with something positive, even if its just looking at something and being glad that you have the blessing of sight. Have your moment of dispair but then think about the good as there are so many wonderful things in this world that we tend to overlook. When I was feeling a bit worse for wear I just looked up at the sky and it seemed to take my mind off of things. You can defeat this, it will take time but you can.
