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    (Original post by Malsy)
    im just finding it hard atm, im not in a very good state tbh and ihjst cant cope
    What's wrong darling? :console: PM if you like. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    why exactly? you negd me. if it helps i'll pos rep you in a month. sorry, nothing personal.

    you ok, up so early?
    i negged you for a reason; you just did a tit for tat neg. your posts are getting annoying. you keep being sad and saying things are bad but when people ask "what's wrong" you just ignore them; i find that irritating. You ignored my "what's wrong" on the main page and my PM-i do not accept you didn't have time to reply because you obviously had time to post a dozen things since that PM so you comment with your neg rep is baseless. :mad:
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    (Original post by Chrisateen)
    I think I may slowly try and start talking to them again. Just that my mum does not believe that depression exist due to being a christian. I was hoping that by staying away they will notice something is wrong and then i could tell them. But i guess they will never understand and even if i start talking to my parents again i dont think i will ever tell them about it.

    Anyway enough about my problems. How has the start to a new year been for you so far?
    Ahhh yeah I myself am a Christian and so are my family. I think mum just thinks its a phase, I'm hoping thats the case too. I think my faith is the only thing keeping me going really.
    Are you a Christian your self? If so have you checked out someone called Joyce Meyer? She's pretty cool, she has several sermons on dealing with depression which I'm focusing on at the moment, and the book of Job is another good thing to read in terms of depression.
    I guess its up to you, you'll talk to your parents when you feel ready and able to, but this thing isn't something you should go through alone. The only way they will be able to understand and help you is if you tell them what you are going through/feeling and if they still don't understand then at leat you have tried. Have you thought about counselling? It helped me to make sense of a few things. :yep: ( sorry if I asked you this before)

    The start of the year has been ok I guess. Don't know why but I've been feeling so panicky, I'm trying to deal with it though, facing my fears. I know it sounds stupid but I'm scared of socialising now, I'm scared that I'll have a panic attack but today I'm ignoring the fear and I'm going to a friends house. I'm trying to tell my self that things will be ok and trying to focus on the positive. *deep breathes*

    Blue , I know it may be frustrating but I guess Malsy may find it hard to express her self/not feel comfortable with talking about her problems.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Thanks. Don't know how you manage to be so nice to everyone all the time. Hope you have a good year.
    Everyone needs a bit of encouragement from time to time.
    Yeah its been a bit rocky but I've got to keep focused on the positive. Its about time that we all recieved a little happiness in our lives right?
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    Oh my god i am so unmotivated today!
    I have been trying all day tog et my arse in gear to get 1 essay finished and another one started. I am so tired too so that isnt helping!

    I thought i was really starting to get my depression in order but i think with the work coming in it is starting to creep back up on me.

    I am starting to worry it will have an effect on me when i get to Uni and i dont want it to, i want to get to uni and do really well.
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    how you all doing today?
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    My day today wasnt as bad as yesterday! i think i should have left doing any of my work till today.

    I had a bad night trying to sleep, i spent all of yesterday tired yet i went to be and couldn`t get to sleep.

    But one thing i did yesterday was how i was feeling a list of tiredness, anxiety etc which i wouldn`t have been able to do today as i think today i was silly yesterday for how i felt! lol

    How are you today too? hope you are doing ok, and the same to everyone else!! xxx
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Ahhh yeah I myself am a Christian and so are my family. I think mum just thinks its a phase, I'm hoping thats the case too. I think my faith is the only thing keeping me going really.
    Are you a Christian your self? If so have you checked out someone called Joyce Meyer? She's pretty cool, she has several sermons on dealing with depression which I'm focusing on at the moment, and the book of Job is another good thing to read in terms of depression.
    I guess its up to you, you'll talk to your parents when you feel ready and able to, but this thing isn't something you should go through alone. The only way they will be able to understand and help you is if you tell them what you are going through/feeling and if they still don't understand then at leat you have tried. Have you thought about counselling? It helped me to make sense of a few things. :yep: ( sorry if I asked you this before)

    The start of the year has been ok I guess. Don't know why but I've been feeling so panicky, I'm trying to deal with it though, facing my fears. I know it sounds stupid but I'm scared of socialising now, I'm scared that I'll have a panic attack but today I'm ignoring the fear and I'm going to a friends house. I'm trying to tell my self that things will be ok and trying to focus on the positive. *deep breathes*

    Blue , I know it may be frustrating but I guess Malsy may find it hard to express her self/not feel comfortable with talking about her problems.
    I just remember that Joyce Meyer does lots of stuff on character building, self motivation books e.t.c maybe I would check it out.

    I did tell my parents that I have been feeling lonely at uni and they should be a bit more patient with me and things are a lot more better with my parents.

    However I don't think my mum believes depression exist so I am not gonna bother to tell her I have it

    (Original post by death.drop)
    how you all doing today?
    A lot better. Feel much more happier and I hope I remain this way for a long time so that I can at least get some work done

    What about you?
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    (Original post by Chrisateen)
    I just remember that Joyce Meyer does lots of stuff on character building, self motivation books e.t.c maybe I would check it out.

    I did tell my parents that I have been feeling lonely at uni and they should be a bit more patient with me and things are a lot more better with my parents.

    However I don't think my mum believes depression exist so I am not gonna bother to tell her I have it

    Aww I'm glad to hear that

    Here is the link for her website, check out the broadcasts especially the ones on understanding and dealing with depression ( you might have to scroll back to the old episodes, think they were broadcast in December):

    http://www.joycemeyer.org/default.htm


    Hope it helps a bit. Don't worry with trying to justify yourself to your mum, just focus on your needs and how you can get through it.

    I've got a job now, start tomorrow, its quite demanding but I hope I can stomach it. It just means that I'll be even more behind on Uni work as I was planning on finishing it off these last two weeks of the holiday. I appreciate the lengths my mum has gone to to get it for me and I know things are tight right now but I really wanted to just sort my self out this holiday and catch up with Uni work. Guess I should have done it as soon as I got back but I was so :cry:. I've been ok these past few days though, hung out with a few friends and had a good time. Lets hope this feeling lasts.

    Hope you are all ok :hugs:
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    i'm getting a ds lite everyone! :eek: It's kind of "on the spur of the moment" thing due to my lack of friends .

    I hope you are all well. I put up my new black curtains today and think i'll get the best night's sleep ever, unless my gran shouts all night :eek:
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    Blah de blah, I'm bored out my mind. How is everyone?
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    Well i am currently in anxiety stress mode!!!


    I got a reply from Loughborough Uni very late last night, it says cause i dont have a GCSE at grade C or above, well i know that but i did the OCR numeracy level 2 which is supposed to be the equivalent!
    So i am now stressing the Uni of Leicester and Demontfort turn me down as well for the same reson leaving me high and dry with a usless maths qualification that took me nearly 2 years to do!! AARRGGHHHHHH!!!!
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    (Original post by Isis Black)
    Well i am currently in anxiety stress mode!!!


    I got a reply from Loughborough Uni very late last night, it says cause i dont have a GCSE at grade C or above, well i know that but i did the OCR numeracy level 2 which is supposed to be the equivalent!
    So i am now stressing the Uni of Leicester and Demontfort turn me down as well for the same reson leaving me high and dry with a usless maths qualification that took me nearly 2 years to do!! AARRGGHHHHHH!!!!
    Remember Loughborough Uni is only one of three applications. Your other two has not yet said no so there is still a chance
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    (Original post by Chrisateen)
    Remember Loughborough Uni is only one of three applications. Your other two has not yet said no so there is still a chance
    yeah i know and my hubby keeps telling me that, i think i am worrying more as it was my first reply!
    I have sent an email to a lady who works at Uni of Leicester to ask her for some advice so just waiting for her to get back to me.
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    My grandma woke me up at 6:30am this morning. I went to bed at 1:30am so i'm really really cranky and i just keep wishing she wasn't alive. She just shouted as i typed this and i felt compelled to stamp on the floor :eek:



    I tried ear plugs but they're so uncomfortable to sleep in (i can hear my own breathing). *sighs*

    Isis, if you do decide to take gcse maths or something this summer - just give me a shout and i'll help you - i love teaching people maths :console:
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    My grandma woke me up at 6:30am this morning. I went to bed at 1:30am so i'm really really cranky and i just keep wishing she wasn't alive. She just shouted as i typed this and i felt compelled to stamp on the floor :eek:



    I tried ear plugs but they're so uncomfortable to sleep in (i can hear my own breathing). *sighs*

    Isis, if you do decide to take gcse maths or something this summer - just give me a shout and i'll help you - i love teaching people maths :console:
    aw thanks hun!! xxxx i may take you up on that :yes: :o: . I am hoping that the nice lady at uni of leicester is gonna get good info or that my tutor will give me some good advice, but if i have to retake some sort of maths then iguess i will have to and cram it in to what is left of the college year!!
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    Once again feeling like a complete loser. Only been home a day and I'm already hiding from my housemates. They kept knocking on my door but I couldn't answer them. And yesterday I started crying on the train... the :snow::snow::snow::snow: is the point of all this?
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    (Original post by gee_shakedown)
    I think I possibly had a panic attack today;it was really quite scary. My chest was going mental and I couldn't properly breathe or talk and just had to lie there curled up for about 10 minutes until it started to go away, but it took me hours to calm down
    Thats a bit mental really, do you know what might have caused it? Could it have been asthma or something?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Once again feeling like a complete loser. Only been home a day and I'm already hiding from my housemates. They kept knocking on my door but I couldn't answer them. And yesterday I started crying on the train... the :snow::snow::snow::snow: is the point of all this?
    :hugs: sorry to hear that. I'm dreading going back too to be honest. I don't know how long I can carry on pretending everything is ok there. I don't know why I am so angry recently its like perminant pms lol.
    I feel bad because I'm taking it out on my family but I just really can't be around my sister right now.

    She makes me feel rubbish, I'm always there for her whether she wants me there or not but she just keeps telling me that she wants me to go back to Uni and that things where better when I was away, she had all the attention and the telly/PC to herself...apparently I've messed up her routine ( not something I want to hear when I've been so home sick and desperate to see her). I'd missed her so much and then to come back to that...to her just being horrid to me...its like there is no point in me being here. Just when I've mended my relationship with my dad, my relationship with my sister has to break down, and whats more is that she refuses to support me with this whole depression thing. Eventually, when my parents are gone, its just going to be the two of us...and the way things are going I doubt we'll even be on speaking terms, she's made it pretty clear that she hates me and all I want is for her to love me....why am I so incapable of being loved? I might as well just live alone :cry:.

    sorry....rant rant rant..
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs: sorry to hear that. I'm dreading going back too to be honest. I don't know how long I can carry on pretending everything is ok there. I don't know why I am so angry recently its like perminant pms lol.
    I feel bad because I'm taking it out on my family but I just really can't be around my sister right now.

    She makes me feel rubbish, I'm always there for her whether she wants me there or not but she just keeps telling me that she wants me to go back to Uni and that things where better when I was away, she had all the attention and the telly/PC to herself...apparently I've messed up her routine ( not something I want to hear when I've been so home sick and desperate to see her). I'd missed her so much and then to come back to that...to her just being horrid to me...its like there is no point in me being here. Just when I've mended my relationship with my dad, my relationship with my sister has to break down, and whats more is that she refuses to support me with this whole depression thing. Eventually, when my parents are gone, its just going to be the two of us...and the way things are going I doubt we'll even be on speaking terms, she's made it pretty clear that she hates me and all I want is for her to love me....why am I so incapable of being loved? I might as well just live alone :cry:.

    sorry....rant rant rant..
    How old is your sister? It sounds like she's just being immature. I'm sure she does love you, she just doesn't know how to react to your depression. Maybe if you wrote to her and explained how much she's hurting you she'd be more considerate.
 
 
 
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