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    (Original post by superwolf)
    How old is your sister? It sounds like she's just being immature. I'm sure she does love you, she just doesn't know how to react to your depression. Maybe if you wrote to her and explained how much she's hurting you she'd be more considerate.
    She's 13. I know I'm expecting too much of her in terms of maturity but I don't ever remember being that cruel when I was her age. She's almost got me convinced that she hates me and looks down at me like I'm ****. I suppose the only way to get through to her would be to write to her as she doesn't ever want to talk face to face. Just seems that she wants to spend more time with the telly than with me at the moment.
    Thanks for listening. Hope you are ok. How are things?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    She's 13. I know I'm expecting too much of her in terms of maturity but I don't ever remember being that cruel when I was her age. She's almost got me convinced that she hates me and looks down at me like I'm ****. I suppose the only way to get through to her would be to write to her as she doesn't ever want to talk face to face. Just seems that she wants to spend more time with the telly than with me at the moment.
    Thanks for listening. Hope you are ok. How are things?
    Things are not good. Have spent the entire day thinking that I really should have just killed myself last night. There was no-one else in the house, I felt terrible, I should have just done it. But I was very sleep deprived so I managed to go to sleep instead. Today I've done nothing worthwhile, I feel like :snow::snow::snow::snow: and nothing helps. Seeing the doctor tomorrow, think I'll ask her to switch antidepressants.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Things are not good. Have spent the entire day thinking that I really should have just killed myself last night. There was no-one else in the house, I felt terrible, I should have just done it. But I was very sleep deprived so I managed to go to sleep instead. Today I've done nothing worthwhile, I feel like :snow::snow::snow::snow: and nothing helps. Seeing the doctor tomorrow, think I'll ask her to switch antidepressants.
    Sorry to hear you're having a hard time, I know it can be tempting to just give up but if you do now then you will never know what good things are instore for you ( and believe me, there will be good times as long as you keep fighting with all your strength and stay focused).
    We all experience relapses from time to time, I'm having a bit of one at the moment ( just when I was doing so well.)

    Hopefully seeing the doctor will help you, its good to see that you are exploring other options, maybe there is a med out there which is more suitable for you. Its all about trial and error. Remember that the meds alone won't help you to feel better, you must look after yourself, get enough sleep and eat as well as you can. ( I should take some of my own advice :rolleyes: )
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    Blargh. That's all I have to say on this matter. :/
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Blargh. That's all I have to say on this matter. :/
    :hugs: What's up?

    And how is everyone else? Sorry for not being around for a while...
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    urgh
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    Going to fail
    oh :snow::snow::snow::snow::snow:.
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    (Original post by Deyn_08)
    Going to fail
    oh :snow::snow::snow::snow::snow:.
    Don't think like that, just think about where all that hard work's going to get you (that's what I'm thinking when I'm just staring at a blank piece of paper that should be all my Christmas essays :o:).
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    (Original post by Emsybean)
    Don't think like that, just think about where all that hard work's going to get you (that's what I'm thinking when I'm just staring at a blank piece of paper that should be all my Christmas essays :o:).
    Lol
    i hate when you have the insentive to work, but you just don't.
    I am the queen of procrastination.
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    I hate having no motivation too, I've been procrastinating like a maniac over Christmas, no way I'm going to get the B I need in history
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    Me again, still feeling like :snow::snow::snow::snow:. Don't know what to do, I know I can't keep on like this, sooner or later I'll just give up. Now on 45mg mirtazapine, have absolutely no faith it'll work. Given up on eating, food just makes me feel sick. Basically living on chocolate. Everything makes me cry, even the snow.
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    (Original post by Emsybean)
    I hate having no motivation too, I've been procrastinating like a maniac over Christmas, no way I'm going to get the B I need in history
    same emzy . I went into school to teach today and the blimmin teacher didn't tell me the school was closed! So i went into school for no reason
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    (Original post by Pludovick)
    Started counselling earlier in the week, spent the whole session thinking 'what's the point' and got absolutely nowhere. Can't help but feel that I'm just wasting everyone's time :/
    Don't give up mate. If you get a good counsellor it can really help. I had a few bad ones, thought the same, and left! Then I got a good one who didn't ask me ludicrous personal quesions and it was good, but alas she retired so i'm counsellor-less again...her replacement was :snow::snow::snow::snow: so i quit after 1 session:P
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    (Original post by Pludovick)
    Thanks I'll probably give it a couple more sessions, if it still isn't helping I'll follow your lead
    I stayed with my good one for 2 years :P. Was kinda depressed when she retired
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    Finding a good counsellor is ******* hard tbh.

    I read through my blog for the first time today, all the stuff when I was in the depths of one of my major bouts of depression in November and it made me realise how far I've come to actually still be at college and that now.

    It scares me that I am relying on medication to keep me sane, and will be doing so for at least the next year, but I guess its better that I can just about cope even if I have to rely on the medication, rather than just lying in bed with my headphones in and pretending nothings happening.

    Basically this rambling was saying, no matter how bad you feel, and I was suicidal at one point, help is out there... it just might take a while to come.. :hugs:
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    (Original post by SuicidalLemming)
    Finding a good counsellor is ******* hard tbh.

    I read through my blog for the first time today, all the stuff when I was in the depths of one of my major bouts of depression in November and it made me realise how far I've come to actually still be at college and that now.

    It scares me that I am relying on medication to keep me sane, and will be doing so for at least the next year, but I guess its better that I can just about cope even if I have to rely on the medication, rather than just lying in bed with my headphones in and pretending nothings happening.

    Basically this rambling was saying, no matter how bad you feel, and I was suicidal at one point, help is out there... it just might take a while to come.. :hugs:
    :hugs: Hope things get better for you.
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    i cant sleep
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    Had another panic attack tonight. In the middle of a club. It lasted 20 ******* minutes :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Had another panic attack tonight. In the middle of a club. It lasted 20 ******* minutes :cry:
    why did you go to a club? I hate clubbing. It's so boring and full of simple hormone filled people who just get wasted and *shudders*
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    God i am really trying to get on top of this homework i have got!
    I have my sociology to get done completly for Wednesday, so research made for research methods and so revising for reductionism ready for a test to complete the unit and get the credits!
 
 
 
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