Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mathperson)
    it has been suggested this may be the 'place for me', no doubt people here have seen my recent threads?

    (quick run down: got autism and became depressed last june -when the depression really kicked in anyway- about social problems related to being autistic, got alot of help professionally, attempted suicide in November 2009).
    Glad you found your way over
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Hey mathperson, I've read, and replied to, a lot of your threads, I'm glad to see you're still with us

    How's it going?
    Yeah I'm alot better than I was. Though I still have a long way to go until I'm 'out of' depression.
    How about you, presumably you experience depression?

    Thanks.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Every once in a while I wake up and I realise I actually feel ok. But it's only a trick and I fall for it every single ******* time. Then I end up crying my eyes out over something completely meaningless and hating myself for being stupid enough to think I could actually get better. Feel so ******* stupid, I tried reading and I couldn't understand even a tenth of what I would have done before. The ****'s the point of even trying to get better when it just leaves you feeling even worse than before.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Hiya, big thanks to the people who replied to me (I posted the other day feeling really worried about uni). Really appreciate it.

    It seems the general consensus is that its near impossible to do a degree when you're severely depressed. I spoke to one of my best friends as well, who is just getting over depression, and she dropped out of uni because she found it so difficult. Talking to you all has made me feel better, that I'm not just being weak or silly.

    I'm increasingly thinking dropping out is my only option. I just can't do it. Not while I'm this bad: I literally barely leave the house. I've decided to definitely go on the medication (I've been feeling like this for 5 weeks now so its clearly not going on its own) and I'm gonna talk to my tutor to see what he thinks...Maybe I'll feel up for working a couple of months down the line....I don't feel like its gonna happen though. I'm thinking I can just complete my degree with the Open Uni whenever I feel up for it (cheaper and easier than deferring).

    God, I'd heard lots about depression, and even seen people go through it, but I never expected it to make my whole life go on hold. This horrible disease has just come along and crippled me.

    Big hugs to everyone else whose going through this, its nice to know we aren't just insane and alone.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    hi guys, how is everyone?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Felt on top of the world this morning, my mood is slowly slipping down again though. Was weird, sitting on a train grinning to myself over a mug of tea... but it felt so good.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    I'm so so pissed off seriously I can't calm the **** down I just want to smash every ******* thing. walking back to my room all i could think was what can I smash up. I'm angry as hell, I just want to hit someone something anything. I'm thinking of buying a razor so I can take some of my anger out but im pretty sure it wouldnt end well. and typing is so painful i hit the wall not a good idea but better than punching my screen.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm so so pissed off seriously I can't calm the **** down I just want to smash every ******* thing. walking back to my room all i could think was what can I smash up. I'm angry as hell, I just want to hit someone something anything. I'm thinking of buying a razor so I can take some of my anger out but im pretty sure it wouldnt end well. and typing is so painful i hit the wall not a good idea but better than punching my screen.
    Pillows work well for that.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jonathan122)
    :jumphug: What's up?
    I'm relapsing/sliding down worse again.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm so so pissed off seriously I can't calm the **** down I just want to smash every ******* thing. walking back to my room all i could think was what can I smash up. I'm angry as hell, I just want to hit someone something anything. I'm thinking of buying a razor so I can take some of my anger out but im pretty sure it wouldnt end well. and typing is so painful i hit the wall not a good idea but better than punching my screen.
    :hugs: Why are you so angry? Has anything happened?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by death.drop)
    hi guys, how is everyone?
    I thought I was ok this morning, then fell apart completely for an hour or so, then gradually worked my way back to feeling averagely crap. Meh.

    How you doing today?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Felt on top of the world this morning, my mood is slowly slipping down again though. Was weird, sitting on a train grinning to myself over a mug of tea... but it felt so good.
    The best moments are the ones where something makes you grin even when you're on your own
    Sorry to hear you're starting to feel worse though. hopefully tomorrow will be another good start.

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm so so pissed off seriously I can't calm the **** down I just want to smash every ******* thing. walking back to my room all i could think was what can I smash up. I'm angry as hell, I just want to hit someone something anything. I'm thinking of buying a razor so I can take some of my anger out but im pretty sure it wouldnt end well. and typing is so painful i hit the wall not a good idea but better than punching my screen.
    I agree with the pillows suggestion, or have you thought about some kind of boxing class? might be a good way to manage anger if you're feeling this a lot. Better to let it out in a controlled way than to try and suppress it.

    (Original post by superwolf)
    I thought I was ok this morning, then fell apart completely for an hour or so, then gradually worked my way back to feeling averagely crap. Meh.

    How you doing today?
    good that you managed to recover. was there a reason for your bad hour?

    I'm pretty low. I cried after sex again (actually don't remember the last time I didn't), I cried at work thinking about my dog, and I have to go to this heavy metal night tonight until 3am then wander the streets until we can get a bus home at 5.30. I really don't want to go but I can't let my friend down.
    I got nicely dressed up to go (very very rare) and then I felt like an overstuffed sausage so I went back to jeans and a tee shirt.
    oh, and I got my bank statement. After hutch money, bike money and orthodontist fees I am down a thousand pounds this month. some of it's gone back in (around £450) but I still don't know how I spent so much.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by death.drop)
    good that you managed to recover. was there a reason for your bad hour?

    I'm pretty low. I cried after sex again (actually don't remember the last time I didn't), I cried at work thinking about my dog, and I have to go to this heavy metal night tonight until 3am then wander the streets until we can get a bus home at 5.30. I really don't want to go but I can't let my friend down.
    I got nicely dressed up to go (very very rare) and then I felt like an overstuffed sausage so I went back to jeans and a tee shirt.
    oh, and I got my bank statement. After hutch money, bike money and orthodontist fees I am down a thousand pounds this month. some of it's gone back in (around £450) but I still don't know how I spent so much.
    No real reason, just got upset because I tried to read but couldn't understand anything. Not sure if it's the antidepressants or the depression or both but my brain just doesn't seem to work properly any more.

    Hopefully you'll have a good time tonight, sometimes if the music's loud enough it makes it impossible to think. Which can only be a good thing.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by superwolf)
    No real reason, just got upset because I tried to read but couldn't understand anything. Not sure if it's the antidepressants or the depression or both but my brain just doesn't seem to work properly any more.
    Know the feeling. I'm still getting moving words whenever I read anything off paper. And even when the other night I forced myself to read for 2 hours I got through hardly anything and remember even less.

    I maintain it's the pills.

    (Original post by death.drop)
    I agree with the pillows suggestion, or have you thought about some kind of boxing class? might be a good way to manage anger if you're feeling this a lot. Better to let it out in a controlled way than to try and suppress it.
    I joined thai boxing at the start of the year which was ******* good but had to give it up because it clashed with another sport I play, which I love more. you're probably right, supressing it just doesnt seem to be working, i've calmed down a bit now but it's taken hours.

    I know what you mean about dressing up then giving up. haven't worn anything but track trousers in weeks. though tbh when you posted that picture you looked fine.

    (Original post by Elements)
    :hugs: Why are you so angry? Has anything happened?
    computer ****, people at uni ****, work ****.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i helped out in two year 7 classes today - it was bloody tough work! This girl called laura was driving me crazy and was asking me to do all her work for her. And this other dude called mo before that wrote one word, walked around the classroom, another word, more walking, and he drank something from his lucuzade bottle just so he could go to the loo and piss about. Urgh.......

    I'm home now, so until next friday -->
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Hmmm why are things so confusing? I just hate who I am at the moment, I want to be a better person I really do and I am trying but...old habbits die hard. I'm going to end up alone and bitter and scared and poor and a failure.
    I had placement today at a pharmacy and made so many STUPID mistakes which could have gone horribly wrong and I was so clumsy, I just felt like walking out, I'm never going to be a Pharmacist...I've bitten off more than I can chew.
    I just find my self disgusting and not normal, I can't do the simplest of things, I always see the negatives even if they aren't there. I won't give people a chance to get close to me because I'm scared they will run away, I lack any real integrity/self-respect, I'm disgusting....how many times have I used the word "I"? I'm so damn selfish/selfabsorbed!

    Back to square one, but I will get to square 10 again hopefully. Hope and faith are all I have left, without that I'm nothing.
    :hugs: to those who aren't doing too well.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    wow if i let myself dwell i honestly don't know where iot would mentally/physically take me. but knowing what im going through and how im still living despite it all is so depressing and sad to the point that id rather not live. like how can one live with all this? why?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by death.drop)
    hi guys, how is everyone?
    Godd, I suppose. How are you?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm so so pissed off seriously I can't calm the **** down I just want to smash every ******* thing. walking back to my room all i could think was what can I smash up. I'm angry as hell, I just want to hit someone something anything. I'm thinking of buying a razor so I can take some of my anger out but im pretty sure it wouldnt end well. and typing is so painful i hit the wall not a good idea but better than punching my screen.
    I know precisely how you feel, I think you replied to alot of my threads about my depression also- thanks.
    OK it isn't the best thing to take it out on yourself. Talk to me (via PM if you like), I CARE, I MEAN REALLY CARE.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Hmmm why are things so confusing? I just hate who I am at the moment, I want to be a better person I really do and I am trying but...old habbits die hard. I'm going to end up alone and bitter and scared and poor and a failure.
    I had placement today at a pharmacy and made so many STUPID mistakes which could have gone horribly wrong and I was so clumsy, I just felt like walking out, I'm never going to be a Pharmacist...I've bitten off more than I can chew.
    I just find my self disgusting and not normal, I can't do the simplest of things, I always see the negatives even if they aren't there. I won't give people a chance to get close to me because I'm scared they will run away, I lack any real integrity/self-respect, I'm disgusting....how many times have I used the word "I"? I'm so damn selfish/selfabsorbed!

    Back to square one, but I will get to square 10 again hopefully. Hope and faith are all I have left, without that I'm nothing.
    :hugs: to those who aren't doing too well.
    I sound quite like you (I'm depressed because of social skills problems since I have autism, just so you know). It isn't selfish to talk about yourself you know. And it isn't disgusting to not just get close to people very easily, quite the opposite infact. I think its easy to loose track when you are depressed of how much your mood influences how you think. I am like that alot, and I do it too.
    If you want to talk, feel free to PM me
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 22, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.