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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Sorry to hear you are having a hard time and welcome to the Society

    I've had some counselling at Uni and even though it didn't completely get rid of my panic attacks I feel more empowered and know a bit more about how to handle my self when I have one or feel rubbish. I'd recommend that you give it a go and see if it might help you in some ways. If it doesn't then maybe the tablets might be a better option for you. I know its scary but at the end of the day whatever works for you is a good thing right? I know somone taking Citalopram at the mo and its been working for them. Obviously you will still feel sad at times but not so much depressed. Hope all goes well :hugs:

    How is everyone?
    These past two weeks have been pretty good for me, only had a minor panic attack, I think I'm getting used to eating out again and not being so scared of food. Stayed up from 9pm till 1:45am cleaning the kitchen at Uni last night, it was actually very theraputic ( until I got to the leaking bin bags lol). I hope this feeling lasts.
    :hugs: to those who need it.
    Thanks,i might think about the counselling for a couple more days, think i have done enough for today. My mum just rang me and i told her about it - she was kind of against the drugs like i knew she would be but i know she is going to be really supportive. also not telling anyone else. glad you are doing well and it is good you have got something to focus your energy on. thanks also for the hugs, need as much as i can get at the moment, feel kind of alone
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    So I don't think my parents are coming to graduation. My mum won't cos she's bipolar and won't leave the house, and I get the impression my dad isn't going to either, which is weird cos he's a really good parent.
    The contract on my house runs out a couple of days before I graduate so I'll have to stay in a hostel or something, but wasn't sure how I was gonna get my stuff home - so my dad said he'd come up and see my end of year group exhibition (I'm an art student) and take my stuff back (it's a 5 hour drive home), then I could get the train home after graduation.

    I don't know whether he realises your parents are supposed to come to graduation? So I'm worried he'll be really offended if he realises, but then if I ask him to go then he'll have to just because I asked. And it'll look weird if neither of my parents go, and the idea of them not going really upsets me which is stupid because my dad's going to go to my exhibition. And the idea of people having to act like they're proud of me is agonising anyway, so I'm not sure if I even want them to go - I don't think I even want to go, but it'll look weird if I don't. I hate events where people act optimistic. Urghhh. Don't know what to do.
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    (Original post by Summer_Lovin)
    Thanks,i might think about the counselling for a couple more days, think i have done enough for today. My mum just rang me and i told her about it - she was kind of against the drugs like i knew she would be but i know she is going to be really supportive. also not telling anyone else. glad you are doing well and it is good you have got something to focus your energy on. thanks also for the hugs, need as much as i can get at the moment, feel kind of alone
    hey.

    i just read your first post and i'm in a very similar position to you. i finally summoned up the courage to go to my doctor and talk to them honestly after about six years of refusing, and i've now been taking citalopram for just over two weeks. i did the questionnaire etc. in my first appointment so don't worry about it - it's not scary - it's just to assess how things are. i've also started counselling at my uni which i was really reluctant to do (i've had bad experiences before) but i've actually been pleasantly surprised.

    i'm glad you told your mum about it all; even if she's against the drugs, at least she knows what's going on and can be supportive if you need it. personally, i've had a lot of nasty side effects from them and needed to be looked after quite a bit especially during the first week, but that's not to say it will be the same for you. i do think they will be helpful eventually though, as well as the counselling. i'd really recommend going for it if you've been offered it because it can really help to talk things through. drugs can help, but they're not a cure in themselves!

    if you ever need a chat etc. then feel free to PM me. as i said, i'm in a really similar position to you so i know exactly what it's like and it's horrible when you feel alone. :hugs:
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    Once again I feel like ****. Every time something good happens, half an hour later I can barely even remember what it felt like. I know I was happy this morning, but something in me just tells me that I must be lying, because it's impossible for me to feel anything other than how I do now. It's like it's not enough for it to make me miserable now, it has to make me forget that anything good has ever happened in my life.

    And I can't even start my new antidepressants today, because they've ****** up my prescription. ****.
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    My thought of today is pretty normal for me; time is just passing and it feels like I'm never actually accomplishing anything. A friend said a while ago that I should start living my life and stop watching it pass me by, but how do you do that?

    I haven't self harmed since about a week before Christmas. I think I want to do it again. I don't know why, it's just an itch at the base of my spine. :/
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    Feel so ******* awful. Sick of doing nothing but there's nothing I want to do. Just keep crying. You'd think I'd be used to this by now...
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    Hey, i'm not going to go into details on here, i cant get my thoughts together to even begin to write them down. But i've realised i cant go on like this anymore. I think i might have depression, but i also have days when everything seems like its going to be ok so i dont want to talk to someone and have them say i'm just making a fuss over nothing. I can see my GP as its too far away for me to get to, there is a college nurse but i dont know what she will say. I honestly dont know what to do. Things got really bad the other day and I self harmed again. I havent done that in so long and i thought id put it behind me. I also lose control and over eat, i feel so out of my depth. I know i need to get better as this is ruining every aspect of my life, i want to go to uni so that i can move away and start a new life. i dont want to be this person anymore and i'm fed up of feeling so **** constantly.
    Sorry that was a bit of a rant post but basically i want to know who to go to to get help?
    I would appreciate any response.
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    (Original post by Summer_Lovin)
    Hey Guys.
    thought i would join this society for a bit of help.
    Basically i think i have been depressed for quite some time now. Not sure exactly how long but I know it has got steadily worse over the last few months. Looking back i think i have been on this slippery slope for a few years.
    Anyway, I finally got the courage to go to the doctors today, and they have given me Citalopram tablets to take once a day for month, also got an appointment for a few weeks time to take a questionnaire (i am guessing this is to find out how severe it is? can anybody tell me what sort of questions they are?)
    really want advice for telling my parents as although my mum has been aware of me being down, i told noone about going to the doctors and i really don't want her to get worried or upset about it as i don't think it is severe. i do want them to know though.
    i was also advised to see my uni counselor, but i am a bit reluctant to until i find out how severe it is and to see if the tablets work.
    Please can people give me some general advice aswell, i am really scared about the whole thing, and i hope i start to feel better again soon.
    Thankyou and i hope you are all doing well on your treatments.
    Hey. The citalopram might take anything up to 8 weeks to start working so don't be disheartened if you don't feel better right away.

    Regarding the questionaire it's pretty simple you just rate how much each of the statements apply to you. As far as I can remember it's something similar to this:
    http://counsellingresource.com/quizz...ion/index.html

    Same sort of questions. Just be honest, it's easy.

    Hope this helps.

    (Original post by superwolf)
    Feel so ******* awful. Sick of doing nothing but there's nothing I want to do. Just keep crying. You'd think I'd be used to this by now...
    Hey superwolf. I kind of know what you mean about not wanting to do anything but I've always been told that you have to really force yourself to do it because if you sit about doing nothing you will think more and you will probably also feel more ****. I know you don't want to do stuff so maybe draw up a list of stuff that doesn't sound too bad to do, maybe go for a walk, take a shower, tidy one corner of your room, watch a film/cartoon/something, eat some fruit, make a cup of coffee basically just anything is better than nothing. You really have to force yourself into it and it's pretty hard to do I know but start small and try building up. If you have a list it's easier because you know there's stuff to do and you can cross it off as you go along. :hugs: sorry to hear you're feeling ****
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    (Original post by emmalou098)
    Hey, i'm not going to go into details on here, i cant get my thoughts together to even begin to write them down. But i've realised i cant go on like this anymore. I think i might have depression, but i also have days when everything seems like its going to be ok so i dont want to talk to someone and have them say i'm just making a fuss over nothing. I can see my GP as its too far away for me to get to, there is a college nurse but i dont know what she will say. I honestly dont know what to do. Things got really bad the other day and I self harmed again. I havent done that in so long and i thought id put it behind me. I also lose control and over eat, i feel so out of my depth. I know i need to get better as this is ruining every aspect of my life, i want to go to uni so that i can move away and start a new life. i dont want to be this person anymore and i'm fed up of feeling so **** constantly.
    Sorry that was a bit of a rant post but basically i want to know who to go to to get help?
    I would appreciate any response.
    Hey there.

    Is there no way you can get to your GP? They'd probably be the best person to talk to but if you can't get there I'd see the college nurse if I was you and see what they suggest. Stuff sounds like it's getting pretty bad for you and it's generally better to try and sort stuff out before it gets even more out of hand. It doesn't sound to me like you're making a fuss out of nothing so don't worry about a professional thinking that either. Perhaps, if you don't know what to say to the college nurse, you could write (similarly to how you've done here) everything that's bothering you and then if you get nervous or whatever when you see her you can keep track of everything and don't miss anything out.

    I really think it sounds like it would be a good idea for you to see someone. Good luck with it
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    where does thoughts of suicide come from if 'living' things are programmed to continue living?
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    where does thoughts of suicide come from if 'living' things are programmed to continue living?
    Bug in the programming?
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    How very cognitive of you Superwolf! I like the bug in the system approach though.

    Why am I so ******* hungry!?
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    can some people on here share their experiences of depression (how long they have been depressed, reasons, help they received etc). I'm particularly interested in people's experiences of suicide (have you attempted it, thought about it etc) and what people's opinions are on suicide.

    EDIT - I'm feeling like cr*p
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    can some people on here share their experiences of depression (how long they have been depressed, reasons, help they received etc). I'm particularly interested in people's experiences of suicide (have you attempted it, thought about it etc) and what people's opinions are on suicide.
    Hmm.

    Been depressed to some degree for many years, first got serious when I was about 17 (now 22).

    Did nothing about it til a couple of years ago, went to the doctor's. She was a *****, never went back.

    Went to a different doctor's in september last year, got put on citalopram. Got worse, was referred to crisis team, who did nothing.

    Switched to mirtazapine, continued getting worse, was re-referred to crisis team. Crisis team came round and bothered me every single ******* day.

    Discharged by crisis team, cos they were clearly as sick of me as I was of them. Referred to some kind of community mental health team, as yet unclear exactly what I'm going to get out of them, but hopefully a cpn and psychologist/psychiatrist.

    About to switch again to taking venlafaxine and quetiapine.

    Constant suicidal thoughts, as yet haven't done anything about it.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    EDIT - I'm feeling like cr*p
    Me too, today has not been a good day. Anything in particular the matter?
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    My head is aching cos I'm so tired and I've just been staring at the computer all day, I can't get to sleep because I'm crying too much and my eyes are stinging like ****, I can't ******* do this. Please don't anybody tell me it gets better because it just doesn't.
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    ******* doctors. I saw the psychiatrist on monday and she said to reduce the mirtazapine by 15mg a day and stop taking it, so I did. Then I saw my GP today and she said that was too fast, she'd talked to the psychiatrist and that wasn't what she'd said. Except that she'd wrote it down for me so I know that's not true. I wish when they ****** you over they'd at least get their story straight. Now cos I stopped it too fast I couldn't get to sleep til 8.00am, had to get up again at 10 and now I can't get back to sleep.

    Sorry about the rant.
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    Ahh superwolf sorry to hear about that, I think with meds its better to gradually reduce the dose over weeks but I'm not a professional yet so can't really give you advice on that.
    Seems like the good mood is wearing off a bit with me.

    Feelings of inadequacy...loneliness. I feel like I just don't deserve to have anyone care about me. Can't stop looking at my flat mates and feeling ****. I'm nothing like them, I'm so different physically and mentally. I need to start taking things into my own hands and creating my own happiness instead of relying on others/what people say/do to get some self worth. I disgust myself.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Ahh superwolf sorry to hear about that, I think with meds its better to gradually reduce the dose over weeks but I'm not a professional yet so can't really give you advice on that.
    Seems like the good mood is wearing off a bit with me.

    Feelings of inadequacy...loneliness. I feel like I just don't deserve to have anyone care about me. Can't stop looking at my flat mates and feeling ****. I'm nothing like them, I'm so different physically and mentally. I need to start taking things into my own hands and creating my own happiness instead of relying on others/what people say/do to get some self worth. I disgust myself.
    You know, saying you disgust yourself probably isn't the best way of going about getting some self worth... :p:

    You should think of some things that you like about yourself and write them down. Or if you can't think of anything, ask someone else (I did that - grilling your friends about your personality is actually pretty good for a giggle).
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    You know, saying you disgust yourself probably isn't the best way of going about getting some self worth... :p:

    You should think of some things that you like about yourself and write them down. Or if you can't think of anything, ask someone else (I did that - grilling your friends about your personality is actually pretty good for a giggle).
    Yeha I guess, I focus so much on other people and their desirable qualities and don't focus on my own. Its strange because coming to Uni I'd been so used to being on my own and didn't have a problem with the idea of being on my own for the rest of my life ( cringe at the idea of marraige) but since meeting someone who likes me and who I'm beginning to feel quite fond of I've realised how sad a life on my own could be but then I don't want to trust someone with my feelings. When I'm with him I just don't see how he could ever want to be with me. He'll say things like, "when you're gone I'll miss you" but it doesn't make sense to me :rolleyes: . I need to get over this before I can get into a relationship, baggage can make things messy if you aren't with someone who cares enough and I don't want to feel guilty all the time for burdening him.
 
 
 
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