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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    noooo superwolf, please give up . I'm really anti drugs and when i got them i only took them for a week before giving up! Anti depressants made me feel too good it made me feel uneasy about possible side effects and for that reason i try to avoid tablets at all costs. Tablets = bad, unless your depression is so bad you are suicidal!:eek:
    Hell, I wish I'd had that problem. Antidepressants have done nothing but **** me up even more. But yeah I am suicidal a lot of the time and I do feel like I ought to keep trying... Looking on the bright side, maybe the next ones will **** me up so much they'll actually kill me
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    I'm really peeved off with my old doctor! I was just joking around with my mum yesterday evening and no idea how but randomly she says to my brother "your brother used to take depression tablets" - i was so shocked cos i've been keeping it secret from my parents and she told me "the doctor told me when I last went there".

    I am pretty sure the doctor is not allowed to do this. Doesn't this break patient-doctor confidentiality? I mean WTF? I feel so terrible about it . I didn't really like the old one anyway - this is the same doc who i had to wait over a year for physio but still never got it so moved surgery to get it!

    . I hope everyone especially kiss_me_now and Malsy are doing okay today?
    Depends how old your bro was at the time, I think. Under 16s might have a care of duty?

    :hugs: Starting to feel my mood dropping again, so I'll be feeling crap for the next week or so. I wonder if that's a self-fulfilling prophecy?!
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I'm feeling quite weird. I got taken into hospital the other day because my antidepressants ****** up my heartrate, now I can't decide whether to keep trying with other antidepressants or just give up.
    I'm sorry, that's really rubbish Hope you're feeling better. Which antidepressants are you on at the moment? Don't give up, I'm sure you'll find something that suits you if you keep trying. :console:

    I thought I was starting to feel better after 4 weeks on my antidepressants but the last few days things have been getting quite bad again. The combination of restlessness and no concentration is unbearable - can't work, can't focus, feel like just pounding the walls... argh
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    (Original post by raisin.)
    ..
    Don't feel like a failure whatever you do! :hugs: It takes courage to make what you think is the right decision for your health and happiness, and if the right decision turns out to be reapplying there's no shame in that. Sometimes it does take a while before you start feeling settled, wherever you go. I'd say I spent the first six months of undergrad feeling miserable and that I didn't fit in (though I should add I was recovering from a nasty bout of illness) but eventually came to love most things about the place. That's why I think it's wise to wait a while before acting on the impulse to leave. On the other hand there are reasons that you're not enjoying your current uni specifically and if you do get to a point where you are convinced it won't improve and that you would be happier elsewhere, I would just be glad that you worked it out early on and can remedy the situation Are there courses elsewhere that appeal to you? Maybe you could do some more uni-research and see where might suit you better?

    I'm glad the antidepressants are helping, for whatever reason! I am having a bit of a rubbish day, the restlessness is getting really bad and I'm starting to think I'm going to have to pay another visit to the GP ah well
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I'm sorry, that's really rubbish Hope you're feeling better. Which antidepressants are you on at the moment? Don't give up, I'm sure you'll find something that suits you if you keep trying. :console:

    I thought I was starting to feel better after 4 weeks on my antidepressants but the last few days things have been getting quite bad again. The combination of restlessness and no concentration is unbearable - can't work, can't focus, feel like just pounding the walls... argh
    I was on venlafaxine and quetiapine but I stopped them after I went into hospital. So right now I'm not on anything.

    I know the feeling, it's ******* annoying not being able to concentrate on anything. But if you think they were helping you a bit then maybe you just need to adjust the dosage and you'll start feeling better again.
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
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    Aw thanks, I'm trying not to feel like a failure - it's just a bit disheartening, that's all. I'll be 20 by the time I start again and whilst that's not exactly old, I can't help feeling sad over the fact that i've pretty much spent my entire teenage years being depressed/not myself and trying to run away from it all. I'm making the effort now obviously, but I don't want to be 'old' - I want to start again and do everything I should have done during the last few years.

    Yeah i've been looking at courses/universities pretty much continuously for the last few days, haha. Obviously I'm still in a bit of a rough place at the moment and so any feelings I have at the moment might change, but it doesn't matter much because I don't have to make any decisions until at least September. It's weird - I'm so confused and I honestly don't know what I want! I'm not sure whether I want to go somewhere nice and quiet and academic, or somewhere big and lively and exciting. I've been looking at psychology at York, Leeds, Manchester, Brum etc. and also UCL, but they rejected me last year. I never really looked 'up north' before (apart from Glasgow and Liverpool, the latter of which I hated) so I'm going to this time. I'm also having a bit of a crisis of confidence because whilst I got AAA, I'm not sure whether my reference/having dropped out will disadvantage me. Hmm. I may even have a revelation over the summer and decide I want to completely change subjects, so who knows.

    Ugh, sorry - I seem to have written another mini essay there!

    :hugs: Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit rubbish - perhaps a visit to the GP would be a good idea? They're there to help after all, and it might be as simple as tweaking your medication or something. I hope you feel better soon.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Depends how old your bro was at the time, I think. Under 16s might have a care of duty?

    :hugs: Starting to feel my mood dropping again, so I'll be feeling crap for the next week or so. I wonder if that's a self-fulfilling prophecy?!
    what? no no. The point i'm trying to make is that my old GP told my mum that i was suffering from depression! It's meant to be a secret!
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    (Original post by raisin.)
    :hugs: Thank you, I know you're probably right! I just can't help feeling like a failure for wanting to leave, and I don't want everyone to think I'm a quitter but.. It's hard. There's lots of things I dislike about my current uni if I'm honest - the campus/facilities themselves aren't amazing, and I find it all a bit suffocating. There's definite 'types' of people here (moreso than any other university i've seen/heard of!) and I don't really fit in. The course is okay, probably the best thing about it, but again it's all a bit mediocre and I can't shake the feeling that I could be 'doing better' - as awful as that sounds. I just don't feel in the right frame of mind to be here and I want to go someone where I'll really thrive/be happy, rather than just settling for bumbling along through it. I'm glad your friend had a good experience of changing though - that makes me feel much more positive. My problem is I have no idea where I want to go now! Ahh.

    Aw, I'm glad your panic attacks aren't too bad either - but still, no panic attacks are nice! I agree about the antidepressants too, it may just be a placebo effect but in all honesty I'm really not that bothered. It's relieved things for me at least slightly, so that's gotta be a good thing right? Saying that, I've improved more in the last few weeks than I have in the last few years (when I was making lots of effort!) so maybe they really are working. I know what you mean about the increased anxiety/depression - that was horrific! Maybe that's what makes them feel effective, because anything compared to those side effects is bliss. Yeah, apparently.. Although that's only what i read! I'm constantly yawning too though, it's so annoying!

    I'm getting on alright thankyouu, I hope you are too.
    You're anything but a failure! You have the guts to think about leaving, and I hope you do because it's not worth putting your health at risk for academia! I left uni when i was 19 and went back at age of 20/21. So if you ever want to talk to a person who did what you are contemplating, just ask :hugs:
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    You're anything but a failure! You have the guts to think about leaving, and I hope you do because it's not worth putting your health at risk for academia! I left uni when i was 19 and went back at age of 20/21. So if you ever want to talk to a person who did what you are contemplating, just ask :hugs:
    :hugs: Aw cheers, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

    If you don't mind me asking, did you find that leaving helped or did you feel worse initially? Was it easier when you went back to university for the second time, or did you feel out of place at all?

    I'm probably over-thinking all of this to be honest; I should probably stop! I hope you're okay today.
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    (Original post by raisin.)
    :hugs: Aw cheers, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
    If you don't mind me asking, did you find that leaving helped or did you feel worse initially? Was it easier when you went back to university for the second time, or did you feel out of place at all?
    I'm probably over-thinking all of this to be honest; I should probably stop! I hope you're okay today.
    Leaving at first was horrible! I was just so down that they kicked me out of uni for failing, without considering my medical issues (i.e. depression). So i left and was like shaking with bad anxiety until mid october when i managed to get a job at a bookshop. The time over the summer looking for and not having a job was probably the worst time in my life!

    So I worked in a book shop for 7/8 months and then working in an office for a bit after before going to india for a whilst (travel) - i tried to make it into a gap year but the lack of money made that plan somewhat untenable, but looking back at it i wish i left my job in jan 07 and went travelling but i didn't - my mum bullied me into keeping the job and working till may until i could take no more and went against her wishes and left!

    On starting uni again, I felt it was really awkward because besides being socially inept I was 2 years older than everyone else and they were into the whole "getting drunk and partying" mentality whereas I was past that phase (older and wiser or whatever).

    I got counselling for 2 years at my new uni and that REALLY helped to settle down to a new uni environment and this 3rd and last year i have no therapy (old one left and i didn't want a new one).

    But overall I'm glad I left because I feel mentally rejuvenated and I met some great people during my inter uni gap year!

    Also working in retail around normal people has made me not to take life for granted and to respect people for whom they are not for their academic abilities! (I was an academic snob in the past but now i'm infinitely more open minded and 'see the big picture' and try to see everyone as equals except snobs themselves - they should be banished to the lower echelons of society! :p: )

    Sorry bout the long post!...
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Hell, I wish I'd had that problem. Antidepressants have done nothing but **** me up even more. But yeah I am suicidal a lot of the time and I do feel like I ought to keep trying... Looking on the bright side, maybe the next ones will **** me up so much they'll actually kill me
    You need to give your will power a chance (as those smoking ads say ). Plan something for next summer like I am doing and it'll be a great distraction from uni and will give you something positive to focus on! . Then you can work on idea to how you will make this reality come true. eg say you want to go to the USA and thailand like me . My plan is to do this work placement in school for which i get £600, and i'm looking for a job at the moment in a cinema so i can watch movies (be happy) and get paid and save for my thailand trip! So i've planned USA for 3 months, then back to the UK to work and save up more for thailand and then go to a thai boxing camp in phuket, thailand...the plan is to spend the whole of next year off from uni just travelling and soul searching.

    back to the point.....just having something positive to distract yourself and to look forward to will help you. I've been depressed for years and have only just started getting better when i started making summer plans after uni! Please give it a go, for me! If you need any help just pm me or post here If the meds don't help, get off them!
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    You need to give your will power a chance (as those smoking ads say ). Plan something for next summer like I am doing and it'll be a great distraction from uni and will give you something positive to focus on! . Then you can work on idea to how you will make this reality come true. eg say you want to go to the USA and thailand like me . My plan is to do this work placement in school for which i get £600, and i'm looking for a job at the moment in a cinema so i can watch movies (be happy) and get paid and save for my thailand trip! So i've planned USA for 3 months, then back to the UK to work and save up more for thailand and then go to a thai boxing camp in phuket, thailand...the plan is to spend the whole of next year off from uni just travelling and soul searching.

    back to the point.....just having something positive to distract yourself and to look forward to will help you. I've been depressed for years and have only just started getting better when i started making summer plans after uni! Please give it a go, for me! If you need any help just pm me or post here If the meds don't help, get off them!
    I suspect I am somewhat lacking in willpower at the moment. I'm supposed to be going on holiday with my sister in the summer but I can't even make myself feel interested in choosing where we're going. Apart from that the only thing I can think of to work towards is attempting to go on benefits without having to fill in any of the paperwork myself and without the government realising I should be paying council tax... :ninja:

    I think my housemate's doing the same school thing as you, he's going to be helping out in science classes for three weeks. Have you already got in yet? What you going to be teaching?

    Think I probably am going to go back on the antidepressants, I might as well really.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I think my housemate's doing the same school thing as you, he's going to be helping out in science classes for three weeks. Have you already got in yet? What you going to be teaching?

    Think I probably am going to go back on the antidepressants, I might as well really.
    please don't

    And i started in november - finishing in a few weeks. I help out in maths, media, english, science, sociology and done IT, and basically anything they put me in. - it's really rewarding! This guy was getting D's and E's in Media studies because of his poor english but I've been helping with his spelling and grammar and he's got his work up to a B/A and I feel i've contributed towards his academic revival and that part of teaching is the most rewarding thing ever! tbh, it's not teaching, but more learning support helping kids with learning difficulties that i do. I also helped this A level kid build up his confidence in answering questions in class and he's doing really well now too. I think having that extra bit of support makes all the difference to some people.

    Give it a go - it's call the Student associates scheme
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    please don't

    And i started in november - finishing in a few weeks. I help out in maths, media, english, science, sociology and done IT, and basically anything they put me in. - it's really rewarding! This guy was getting D's and E's in Media studies because of his poor english but I've been helping with his spelling and grammar and he's got his work up to a B/A and I feel i've contributed towards his academic revival and that part of teaching is the most rewarding thing ever! tbh, it's not teaching, but more learning support helping kids with learning difficulties that i do. I also helped this A level kid build up his confidence in answering questions in class and he's doing really well now too. I think having that extra bit of support makes all the difference to some people.

    Give it a go - it's call the Student associates scheme
    Well I haven't got your aversion to drugs. Although I prefer the illegal kind... A couple of years ago I tried just getting stoned all the time. It sort of worked, better than the antidepressants at least. Bit more expensive though...

    I've done teaching before and enjoyed it, but at the moment I'm really not in any condition to be doing any kind of work. And I'm not even technically a student at the moment... It's great that you're doing it and enjoying it though, sounds like you've got life pretty well worked out at the minute.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    ...
    Sorry to hear you got kicked out - that's awful but I guess it worked out for the best in the end? I mean you got to travel a little and as you said, became a bit more grounded through working in retail. I'm hoping if I end up in a job that I despise, it will actually motivate me to force myself to get better so that I can make the right university choice the second time around and give it 100%.

    Ugh - the bit about feeling awkward is what worries me. I'll be (only just) 20 when I start, and most people say it's not an issue at all, but I can't help but feel I'll stand out. It's not as though I'm really 'mature' and don't enjoy going out and having a good time because I do, but I'm not one to do it all the time. I think the atmosphere varies at different universities though. I mean, I'm at Sussex now and everything seems to revolve around.. Well, drugs and drugs alone, but others have said it's not like that where they are. I want somewhere with a balance, basically. It's not my age as such that worries me - I feel like I've missed out on a few years anyway so it won't make much difference - it's just the worry that I'll be perceived as older and odd, haha.

    Thank you for sharing anywayy, and don't be sorry about the long post at all! This one is an essay in itself.
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    fell asleep, woke up with a huge headache, feeling dizzy, sick, and generally pretty ******* ****.

    essay due friday. **** **** **** ****.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    fell asleep, woke up with a huge headache, feeling dizzy, sick, and generally pretty ******* ****.

    essay due friday. **** **** **** ****.
    :console: You've still got plenty of time to try and get it done, just do what you can. And then you'll have reading week after that.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    fell asleep, woke up with a huge headache, feeling dizzy, sick, and generally pretty ******* ****.

    essay due friday. **** **** **** ****.
    Ahh I can sympathise with you, I've had a splitting headache for the past couple of days now. Wish I could sleep but I have a **** load of coursework to get through and what makes it worse is that I'm on work placement all week so it means having even less time to complete it.

    :hugs: to those who need it.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    I'm really peeved off with my old doctor! I was just joking around with my mum yesterday evening and no idea how but randomly she says to my brother "your brother used to take depression tablets" - i was so shocked cos i've been keeping it secret from my parents and she told me "the doctor told me when I last went there".

    I am pretty sure the doctor is not allowed to do this. Doesn't this break patient-doctor confidentiality? I mean WTF? I feel so terrible about it . I didn't really like the old one anyway - this is the same doc who i had to wait over a year for physio but still never got it so moved surgery to get it!
    :hugs:

    That's harsh i thought doctors were meant to be confidential and all that aswell! have you had a convo wth your mum about it then?

    Oh and update on my situation - think the tablets are doing a good job, i started to feel a bit better for a few days, but then i suddenly got really low this evening, felt like crying for no reason still not doing any work and generally feeling like utter crap and useless at whatever i do. are these sudden drops normal?
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    (Original post by Summer_Lovin)
    :hugs:
    Oh and update on my situation - think the tablets are doing a good job, i started to feel a bit better for a few days, but then i suddenly got really low this evening, felt like crying for no reason still not doing any work and generally feeling like utter crap and useless at whatever i do. are these sudden drops normal?
    I think so, yeah - at least I'm going through the same thing at the moment! You've started them recently, haven't you? It takes a while for your body to adjust to them so I would think the ups and downs are due to that. I'm definitely finding that some days are much better than others (which was unusual before I started my medication) but if they're really unsettling you and more so than before, then I'd go back to your GP. You might need your dose changed, or perhaps different pills. I'd be willing to bet it's just you adjusting though.

    I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there! :hugs:
 
 
 
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