Depression Society MKIII

Myself. My life isn't even particularly bad in the grand scheme of things, I'm just letting hormones, anxiety & negativity control me again - keep thinking I've snapped out of it but only the smallest things have to go wrong at the moment for it to feel like life and death I wish I could stop the crying and the hopelessness and pull myself together.

Sorry to hear you've had a rough day. The incidents with seeing things sound nervewracking Is there someone (maybe professional) you can talk to about it?

I'm not really sure about hormones, but if you're not taking the pill, or are taking the pill, would doing the opposite help on that front? I've heard the pill can contribute towards depression though.

Anxiety is horrible, what are you feeling anxious over? Work? You said before you logically know you've got decent grades in the past so try to concentrate on that. If you're struggling with a particular piece of work perhaps you could read over comments you've had for previous pieces and it'll show you you can do it, plus any improvements suggested will remind you what you need to do an even better job of it. Maybe...sorry if that doesn't help.

crying and hopeless and little things really getting to you are all part of depression. remind yourself of that and that it can only last so long. if you're on medication and it's not doing anything to help, go for a review maybe.
I could talk to my psychiatrist possibly but I'm not really keen on doing so.

It's nice that TSR has threads for mental health stuff, makes me feel a little less freaked out.
I went to the GP's on Monday because my counsellor thought I was depressed. I'm on citalopram and I hate it. I know it will probably get better, but I feel sick, my mouth is dry and I keep getting really panicked over small things. I still don't think I'm depressed, despite all the thoughts, bursting into tears in lessons and skiving sixth form today because I just can't face it...
Has anyone been on citalopram/can reassure me they're not some horrible drug that actually does nothing? Thanks.

I never get properly suicidal cos I'm terrified of dying, but I actually do get these feelings about cars for some reason - sometimes when I'm very down I'll deliberately cross recklessly or end up willing the cars to slow down and hit me. Also I become very drawn to downbeat music and films involving suicide, like "The Hours". I try to fight these impulses though.

Today has been bad for me I hope tomorrow is better. & I hope you feel better I saw in your prev. post that you're thinking about going to the doctor for advice. While I very much hope that you start feeling better of your own accord and don't need to, please don't be afraid to go - I'm sure they'll be very understanding and hopefully will be able to help

I stopped taking the pill a year ago which is probably why this has become a problem... I'm going back on it now in the hope that it'll help control the mood swings. Can the pill really contribute towards depression? That's bad

I feel anxious about the work but also about things generally, including meeting people I know and just going onto campus and getting through the day. I went in today because of counselling where I got worked up & cried a lot. Then I tried to force myself to stay on campus and be productive but felt so panicky & self-conscious (plus I think the medication's making me drowsy and shaky now) - so didn't really get anything done. It might be the hormones making things worse though, could be I'll feel steadier in a few days.

Thanks for helping and for the advice. I try to remind myself that it's the part of depression, but my mum's so disappointed in me for not coping better (despite the fact she basically gave up on life at 18) and thinks I'm just being lazy and pathetic, and I'm worried that she's right
I've been on fluoxetine (20mg) for a month - GP says it's too soon to change medication and to give it another few weeks.

Ah ok, what makes you not want to bring it up with the psychiatrist? Is it still happening & have you had this problem before? Maybe you're extra stressed today - I would try to chill out, maybe watch something v. laid back & light for a while or listen to some calming music. Hope it goes away soon

I'm so exhausted, both mentally and physically. Don't think I can do this anymore.

ditto, try and keep it together though, tomorrow is a new chance to start again.

I really hope everyone is OK today. Personally I'm not having a good day.

What has been going on with your day?

its just that I keep having mood swings, thats all. I don't know if you know but I took an overdose in November and I don't think I've got over THAT yet either.

Yeah, its weird because I wouldn't mind dying, most people don't want to but I'm just scared of how I would die and what it would do to my family and also I'd feel bad for the person who ran me over if I were to just step out infront of them .
Sorry to hear that today hasn't been as good as you wanted it to be, whats up?

I've been more sociable but I'm still freaking out at every opportunity and still hate myself. I can't wait till this week is over, then I can just sleep for the whole weekend. I spoke to my mum about my anxiety and she said that I just need to grow up...I understand her frustration and I know that my fears and thoughts are not rational but its not like I've deliberately decided to live my life like this. I'd love to be able to look people in the eye when talking to them, walk upright with my head held high and just to feel good/happy more often but...its nothing that is just going to change over night.

I think my fear of what others think of me/fear of people in general is the reason as to why I can't bring myself to see the doctor...I want to get better but...I just don't want to see a doctor .

yeah that's what I heard about the pill, though there's only a chance of it happening I think so you might be fine. and if you notice yourself feeling worse you can ask to change pill as they all have different efffects.
don't worry about what your mum thinks, everyone handles things differently and I'm sure you're doing the best you can. aren't you doing a post-grad? that wouldn't imply to me you're lazy, and the thing about anxiety you mentioned doesn't seem pathetic, I go through similar.
fluoxetine can take over 8 weeks to take effect so don't feel disheartened or anything yet.
I feel even worse now. I managed to get some work done last night (**** knows how) and asked my friend today to take a quick look over it today and he says my lecturer will think I'm "crazy" because it makes zero sense, it's disjointed, totally incoherent, doesn't answer the question and is just generally a load of crap. ******* great. Took me ages and it's total crap. And to answer you I don't like telling my psychiatrist things, especially weird things, they might increase "meds" and I hate taking them as it is.

Me too. I have been having awful mood swings, also have, but now they are worse...maybe because of the Dianette pill that I am taking.

I didn't know about your overdose. I tried taking one five years ago when I was having a rough time.

If you need to talk at all, I am here.

Hey,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time and I can completely relate to the confusion/denial about depression. I remember when I couldn't face half my sixth form classes and on a number of embarrassing occasions ended up in silent but uncontrollable tears even during lessons, but never accepted I was depressed or got proper help. I think it's really positive that you've been to your GP and are seeking support, even though it may not feel like a good thing to you right now. How long have you been taking citalopram? Antidepressants often seem to make people feel worse before they make them feel better. The side effects can be truly hideous for the first week or two, but it should even out after a little while I'm on fluoxetine but I know someone else on this thread is currently having a very positive experience with the citalopram despite a rough couple of weeks when first put on it. I hope things get better soon

Thanks. Yeah, it's only been 4 days, but I can get really paranoid about taking medication. I really hope it works, because I guess I do sort of know that something's not quite right, even if I feel that I'm just wasting people's time.

I've only been to my GP etc because I know I'm really quite good at being in denial (I'm recovering from an eating disorder and it took me almost 2 years to get help after thinking something was wrong). That, and my counsellor is really good at pushing me to see my GP.

I'm not in school again today, I'm getting so panicky over it, I hate it, I used to love school and now I don't see the point in going. I feel so guilty because the History department is doing me a huge favour by letting me take History in a year, but recently I've been really bad at doing the work...