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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Hmm. I recommend ignoring your problems, and hoping they go away. It sometimes works for me.

    Yeah, I understand. Wish I didn't feel the same way...
    Every since I took the overdose I have been sort of 'juggling' in my mind whether or not I wish it had been successful, but I can honestly say I wish it was successful.

    I still have the sleeping pills now (that I showed my disability 'support' person), and to be honest if I'd have already written a note, which I may do come to think of it, I can't imagine not taking them during this semester. And actually I don't feel sad at that prospect, because I'll be escaping this sadness.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    Every since I took the overdose I have been sort of 'juggling' in my mind whether or not I wish it had been successful, but I can honestly say I wish it was successful.

    I still have the sleeping pills now (that I showed my disability 'support' person), and to be honest if I'd have already written a note, which I may do come to think of it, I can't imagine not taking them during this semester. And actually I don't feel sad at that prospect, because I'll be escaping this sadness.
    Embrace the philosophy of laziness. Never kill yourself today when you can put it off til tomorrow. Laziness saves lives.

    Speaking of laziness, I really need to sleep...

    ...I'll try and write you a more rational response in the morning.
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    Morning all, hope you all had a good night's sleep (unlike me - methinks Pepsi or Pro-plus is in order :coffee:). Hugs to anyone who might need them during the day :hugs:
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    Why is it that caring too much about something ends up making you feel like you don't care about anything? :confusing: It's horribly paralyzing.


    How is everyone today?
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Well done! I'm quite impressed actually, I don't think I could've done a day's work during the first week and a half of fluoxetine... Sorry to hear you're not feeling good today. What kinds of thoughts have been bothering you?
    I agree about the clubs thing.

    Well I went for my pancakes, and have to admit as usual I feel worse after going ... It's probably the mild social anxiety and general joy of facing reality. Have to see my lecturer tomorrow and now have two days to write this wretched essay, :eek3:
    Haha, it was only 4 hours and I work as a cleaner in a private home and no one was there yesterday apart from the runaway dog, so there was a lot less pressure. However, I feel sort of as if I over did it, if that's even possible. I just felt so down yesterday, there were more tears than normal and today I am so tired.

    Good luck with your essay and I wish I could have your courage to go out and see people.
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    Back from Leeds, I want to go back.

    I nearly burst into tears at the dinner table, I hate it here :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Back from Leeds, I want to go back.

    I nearly burst into tears at the dinner table, I hate it here :cry:
    Heya! not seen you in a while. :hugs: How many years left at uni? Uni's a bummer when you hate it
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    Heya! not seen you in a while. :hugs: How many years left at uni? Uni's a bummer when you hate it
    Hey I don't go to uni, I dropped out this time last year from Kent in my first year. Reapplying and probably going to Bangor in September... I was visiting my best mate who lives in Leeds and has pretty much the perfect life...
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Haha, it was only 4 hours and I work as a cleaner in a private home and no one was there yesterday apart from the runaway dog, so there was a lot less pressure. However, I feel sort of as if I over did it, if that's even possible. I just felt so down yesterday, there were more tears than normal and today I am so tired.

    Good luck with your essay and I wish I could have your courage to go out and see people.
    Still, worth giving yourself some credit for sticking it out :hugs: When you're feeling low tasks that used to seem easy and manageable do start to seem draining. Especially during the time when your body's still adjusting to the medication, as this can make you feel more anxious and exhausted (that's certainly been my experience!) Things should get easier. I know it sucks waiting for that to happen though!

    Ha, to be honest I rarely summon up that courage at the moment - I don't like being around people because I end up talking either too much or not at all, and afterwards I overanalyse what I said and hate myself for it

    Thanks They gave me another extension - they're much more accommodating than I feel I deserve. Trying to kick my fearful procrastination habit and wondering if I should get a temporary TSR ban... It's a tough call because when I'm low I sometimes need to feel I can "talk" about it, and I can't call my friends 24/7; but like many people I use TSR, facebook and webmail constantly when I should be writing essays and sleeping. Hmm
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Still, worth giving yourself some credit for sticking it out :hugs: I think when you're feeling low like this tasks that used to seem easy and manageable do start to seem draining. Especially during the time when your body's still adjusting to the medication, as this can make you feel more anxious and exhausted (that's certainly been my experience!) Things should get easier. I know it sucks waiting for that to happen though!

    Ha, to be honest I rarely summon up that courage at the moment - I don't like being around people because I end up talking either too much or not at all, and afterwards I overanalyse what I said and hate myself for it

    Thanks They gave me another extension - they're much more accommodating than I feel I deserve. Trying to kick my fearful procrastination habit and wondering if I should get a temporary TSR ban... It's a tough call because when I'm low I sometimes need to reach out to people and I can't call my friends 24/7; but like many people I use TSR, facebook and webmail constantly when I should be writing essays. hmm
    Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be able to go to work now, although my boss said she doesn't mind if I don't work this weekend, so that's good. It's the mood swings that are getting to me most right now - one minute I feel normal again, or even really happy and the next I'm how I am right now and how I've been for however long. It's annoying TBH.

    I know what you mean about the over analysing, I always do that. I guess it doesn't help that I'm drifting away from my friends because we're all changing though. Oh well.

    That's great! I know how useful TSR can be, I got a temp ban to try and revise in January, but ended up asking them to unban me (which took about a day). I think TSR is too addictive There are programmes that can limit you until after a certain time, maybe try that first?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be able to go to work now, although my boss said she doesn't mind if I don't work this weekend, so that's good. It's the mood swings that are getting to me most right now - one minute I feel normal again, or even really happy and the next I'm how I am right now and how I've been for however long. It's annoying TBH.

    I know what you mean about the over analysing, I always do that. I guess it doesn't help that I'm drifting away from my friends because we're all changing though. Oh well.

    That's great! I know how useful TSR can be, I got a temp ban to try and revise in January, but ended up asking them to unban me (which took about a day). I think TSR is too addictive There are programmes that can limit you until after a certain time, maybe try that first?
    Ah good that you've got some time off to relax then Yeah what is it with the mood swings? I keep going from being full of energy, positivity and joie de vivre to extreme feelings of self-loathing and apathy where I can barely move :confused: Probably an antidepressant thing... I really hope it evens out more at some point, I completely agree that it's very annoying.


    My GP told me that the reason a lot of academic people suffer from these problems is because we try to apply our analytical skills to ourselves which tends to backfire... In what way are your friends changing? I remember finding that confusing at the end of high school actually.


    Ha yeah I think I'd probably end up doing the same! ahh, so you could be banned from 6pm till morning or something? Do I just need to post in AAM for that?
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Still, worth giving yourself some credit for sticking it out :hugs: When you're feeling low tasks that used to seem easy and manageable do start to seem draining. Especially during the time when your body's still adjusting to the medication, as this can make you feel more anxious and exhausted (that's certainly been my experience!) Things should get easier. I know it sucks waiting for that to happen though!

    Ha, to be honest I rarely summon up that courage at the moment - I don't like being around people because I end up talking either too much or not at all, and afterwards I overanalyse what I said and hate myself for it

    Thanks They gave me another extension - they're much more accommodating than I feel I deserve. Trying to kick my fearful procrastination habit and wondering if I should get a temporary TSR ban... It's a tough call because when I'm low I sometimes need to feel I can "talk" about it, and I can't call my friends 24/7; but like many people I use TSR, facebook and webmail constantly when I should be writing essays and sleeping. Hmm
    Was it you who told me about them rooms in the library? Why not go there? then you've got no temptation to go on tsr etc. Dunno if this will help, but when I was in school and couldn't get essays done, I'd write them by hand mostly with no computer so I was absolutely not tempted, then just typing them up later was easy. Ok it takes a little longer, but not as long as if you're on the internet for hours :p: Also good practise for exams. Glad to hear you got another extension.
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Ah good that you've got some time off to relax then Yeah what is it with the mood swings? I keep going from being full of energy, positivity and joie de vivre to extreme feelings of self-loathing and apathy where I can barely move :confused: Probably an antidepressant thing... I really hope it evens out more at some point, I completely agree that it's very annoying.


    My GP told me that the reason a lot of academic people suffer from these problems is because we try to apply our analytical skills to ourselves which tends to backfire... In what way are your friends changing? I remember finding that confusing at the end of high school actually.


    Ha yeah I think I'd probably end up doing the same! ahh, so you could be banned from 6pm till morning or something? Do I just need to post in AAM for that?
    Yep, they're annoying. I was really down when I replied to your last quote (I reply to them way too quickly, not cool haha), and now I'm really... Hyper's the only word.

    School and exams have caused loads of issues for me, it's exams that make me relapse with my eating disorder (I am not looking forward to my A2 exams in the summer, this January was bad enough). They're just changing, and if they're happy then I'm happy I guess. It's just hard because I'm trying to start making new friends, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to be friends with these people to the same level as with my old friends, if you get me?

    No, there's software you can download, I can't remember the name right now. It's really good and you can block for e.g. TSR and Facebook between 6am and 10pm or you can block internet explorer and The Sims etc. I'll try to remember the name...

    EDIT: It's called DoNotDisturb, you can get a free 20 day trial and then you have to pay, but I seemed to have it for 4 months with no problems? There's another one too, called K9, which is free but only blocks websites. You can probably tell from that how much time I spend on TSR!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Was it you who told me about them rooms in the library? Why not go there? then you've got no temptation to go on tsr etc. Dunno if this will help, but when I was in school and couldn't get essays done, I'd write them by hand mostly with no computer so I was absolutely not tempted, then just typing them up later was easy. Ok it takes a little longer, but not as long as if you're on the internet for hours http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif Also good practise for exams. Glad to hear you got another extension.
    It was me, but the little rooms were at my old uni, not here. Sadly York's work space is limited at the moment because the library's being refurbished. I can work at the postgrad research centre (which is lovely), but there's no privacy so I often get really anxious & self-conscious there. Am trying to get over it but finding it tricky. Hmm writing by hand, that's a novel thought - haven't done that since before A levels! The only problem for me is that I have a weird chopping and changing writing style that is better suited by the computer, but I may still give that a go, thanks

    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Yep, they're annoying. I was really down when I replied to your last quote (I reply to them way too quickly, not cool haha), and now I'm really... Hyper's the only word.

    School and exams have caused loads of issues for me, it's exams that make me relapse with my eating disorder (I am not looking forward to my A2 exams in the summer, this January was bad enough). They're just changing, and if they're happy then I'm happy I guess. It's just hard because I'm trying to start making new friends, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to be friends with these people to the same level as with my old friends, if you get me?

    No, there's software you can download, I can't remember the name right now. It's really good and you can block for e.g. TSR and Facebook between 6am and 10pm or you can block internet explorer and The Sims etc. I'll try to remember the name...
    I think I read that as a teenager you're more likely to get the hyper effect from antidepressants. With the mood swing issue, part of me is grateful to have good days at all, another part just gets really frustrated because I start thinking I'm "cured" and will feel that way all the time - then suddenly the lethargy and self-hatred comes back

    If you're academic and have a tendency to put excessive pressure on yourself, exams are bound to be a trigger. I've actually spent years telling myself that because so many of my issues get tied down into the work, I can't be genuinely depressed or whatever - kept labelling myself as just a "perfectionist". I'm still a bit confused about the whole thing. I too relapsed with anorexia in the A levels, having semi-recovered after the GCSEs. It's hard to tackle eating disorders because they become so deeply rooted in your psyche - it's like stress etc --> "natural response" = don't eat/binge eat/be bulimic. It sounds like you've been doing a good job working on overcoming it so far though? Personally I still don't like the way I look but I no longer get the urge not to eat.

    I think I know what you mean. When I went from high school to a different college I became extremely depressed because I thought I could never make friends who I'd be that close with again, especially as it takes me longer than most. I think it's an understandable fear but happily it's not true :console: I thought I'd never make friends at uni, but six months on I never wanted to leave because I felt closer to my friends than my family. Keep getting out there and meeting people, but also remember even if you feel that you're not clicking with people at the moment, at uni you may well make lifelong friends
    ah ok thanks I'll do some research on that, sounds great (sorry about the absurd length of this :o: )
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I think I read that as a teenager you're more likely to get the hyper effect from antidepressants. With the mood swing issue, part of me is grateful to have good days at all, another part just gets really frustrated because I start thinking I'm "cured" and will feel that way all the time - then suddenly the lethargy and self-hatred comes back

    If you're academic and have a tendency to put excessive pressure on yourself, exams are bound to be a trigger. I've actually spent years telling myself that because so many of my issues get tied down into the work, I can't be genuinely depressed or whatever - just kept labelling myself as just a "perfectionist". I'm still a bit confused about the whole thing. I too relapsed with anorexia in the A levels, having semi-recovered after the GCSEs. It's hard to tackle eating disorders because they become so deeply rooted in your psyche - it's like stress etc --> "natural response" = don't eat/binge eat/be bulimic. It sounds like you've been doing a good job working on overcoming it so far though? Personally I still don't like the way I look but I no longer get the urge not to eat.

    I think I know what you mean. When I went from high school to a different college I became extremely depressed because I thought I could never make friends who I'd be that close with again, especially as it takes me longer than most. I think it's an understandable fear but happily it's not true :console: I thought I'd never make friends at uni, but six months on I never wanted to leave because I felt closer to my friends than my family. College was a bit of a bust for me socially - remember even if you feel that you're not clicking with people at the moment, at uni you may well make lifelong friends
    ah ok thanks I'll do some research on that, sounds great (sorry about the absurd length of this :o: )
    Yeah, I like having 'good days' (more like a good half hour) but it's insane how hyper/happy I get, so I know it's not just me getting better. And it makes the rest of the time when I feel down worse. Of course, I still refuse to believe I really am depressed, but I've given up telling my counsellor I'm not in denial. :p:

    Yeah, it's still my natural response. Exams -> Stress, Response -> Control things the only way I know and at the same time there's Exams -> Think I'll fail -> Self hatred -> Feel I don't deserve food (a recurring feeling at the moment). I didn't really relapse in January, which I'm so happy about, but I was horrible to my mother when she tried to make me have breakfast before my German exam and I think I really scared her. I forced myself to eat in school, but it wasn't enough...

    Yeah, I'm sue I'll make friends at uni, but it's just the next few months. I just... I can't deal with some of the people there right now. If it's not people I barely no making stupid comments people don't think are being overheard about 'Oh if I don't eat I'll become totally anorexic, let's get lunch', or comments from a particular group of girls about 'Oh she's got anorexia'...

    Yeah, I'm incredibly touchy about eating disorders, but it's shaped my life since I was 14/15...

    Oh great, cue identity crisis.

    Thanks for always getting back to me by the way, I really appreciate it, even if I know I don't have it nearly as tough as some of you guys.

    EDIT: whoops, this is long...
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Yeah, I like having 'good days' (more like a good half hour) but it's insane how hyper/happy I get, so I know it's not just me getting better. And it makes the rest of the time when I feel down worse. Of course, I still refuse to believe I really am depressed, but I've given up telling my counsellor I'm not in denial. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif

    Yeah, it's still my natural response. Exams -> Stress, Response -> Control things the only way I know and at the same time there's Exams -> Think I'll fail -> Self hatred -> Feel I don't deserve food (a recurring feeling at the moment). I didn't really relapse in January, which I'm so happy about, but I was horrible to my mother when she tried to make me have breakfast before my German exam and I think I really scared her. I forced myself to eat in school, but it wasn't enough...

    Yeah, I'm sue I'll make friends at uni, but it's just the next few months. I just... I can't deal with some of the people there right now. If it's not people I barely no making stupid comments people don't think are being overheard about 'Oh if I don't eat I'll become totally anorexic, let's get lunch', or comments from a particular group of girls about 'Oh she's got anorexia'...

    Yeah, I'm incredibly touchy about eating disorders, but it's shaped my life since I was 14/15...

    Oh great, cue identity crisis.

    Thanks for always getting back to me by the way, I really appreciate it, even if I know I don't have it nearly as tough as some of you guys.

    EDIT: whoops, this is long...
    I know what you mean about it making the down points seem worse. I'm using some of those periods of positivity & energy to write down and try to believe good things about myself (or that other people have said about me) and positive alternatives to the negative thoughts I get when I'm feeling bad. Then when you feel bad again, you read them - I think it's a CBT technique. It doesn't always help but it might be worth a try? Also, focus on those times when you managed NOT to relapse, like in January. One of the worst things about these issues is feeling that because they relapse you won't ever escape them: which is why it's so important to focus on the fact that you HAVE overcome them in the past, and therefore have the potential and the strength to do it again

    Eurgh, people like that make me quite frustrated. I know it's so hard to ignore what people say about you, but - and I must admit I find this pretty difficult - try to remember that what these random groups of not-very-understanding people think of you doesn't matter and certainly shouldn't define who you are to yourself :hugs:

    I often feel I don't have it "tough enough" to justify the depression diagnoses and subsequent concessions - but the conclusion I've come to is that in the end, whatever's causing the problems, if they're significant enough to impact on our lives in this way then the only answer is to take the help that is given.
    Sorry I seem to be writing essays on everything but Dickens at the moment :o:
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I know what you mean about it making the down points seem worse. I'm using some of those periods of positivity & energy to write down and try to believe good things about myself (or that other people have said about me) and positive alternatives to the negative thoughts I get when I'm feeling bad. Then when you feel bad again, you read them - I think it's a CBT technique. It doesn't always help but it might be worth a try? Also, focus on those times when you managed NOT to relapse, like in January. One of the worst things about these issues is feeling that because they relapse you won't ever escape them: which is why it's so important to focus on the fact that you HAVE overcome them in the past, and therefore have the potential and the strength to do it again

    Eurgh, people like that make me quite frustrated. I know it's so hard to ignore what people say about you, but - and I must admit I find this pretty difficult - try to remember that what these random groups of not-very-understanding people think of you doesn't matter and certainly shouldn't define who you are to yourself :hugs:

    I often feel I don't have it "tough enough" to justify the depression diagnoses and subsequent concessions - but the conclusion I've come to is that in the end, whatever's causing the problems, if they're significant enough to impact on our lives in this way then the only answer is to take the help that is given.
    Sorry I seem to be writing essays on everything but Dickens at the moment :o:
    Thing is, most of the time I can't seem to find the source of why I feel like this. Today has been a roller coaster, that's for sure.

    It's the ignorance that gets to me. Even though, even with my eating disorder, I still haven't fully accepted that it was ever serious (despite my counsellor saying that someone who had the same side effects as me had to be hospitalised soon after... I was barely underweight... And the fact that I did get quite underweight and hence looked and felt awful). I guess the media doesn't help me with that, have to be on the verge of death according to them. :rolleyes:

    I just wish people knew how horrible it is, how it controls you and it's not the sufferer's fault, how it makes you wish you were dead rather than going through one more day of that... Thankfully, recovery makes life good again. Nothing beats going to a restaurant and not having eating disorded thoughts. :yep:

    I guess I'll probably never accept that I have it bad enough, but I will accept the help. I don't know why, but I sometimes feel like I'm just imagining it, for whatever reason. But then, when I'm in the middle of a down points, I want to die more than I did with my eating disorder, so... But life will get better, in the end it always does.

    I'm sorry for writing another essay! I think it's time I go to sleep or email some of my teachers apologising for the fact that I won't have done any of their work by next week...
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    I desperately wish that my suicide attempt was successful
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Hey I don't go to uni, I dropped out this time last year from Kent in my first year. Reapplying and probably going to Bangor in September... I was visiting my best mate who lives in Leeds and has pretty much the perfect life...
    Woh, kent must be really bad with pastoral care and a crap place to be! Rachell is there and she hates it as is my sister! :eek:
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    I desperately wish that my suicide attempt was successful
    I read about a banker who killed himself in the metro this morning. It made me uneasy and my heart beat faster; is that normal?
 
 
 
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