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    (Original post by starryeyed.)
    As the above said, please, please do everything you can to resist self harming. Once you start, it will start to take over, could easily go from scratching to cutting. Its so addictive as well, if I could turn back time and resist starting, believe me I would.
    I know, I'm trying (well, not right now as I'm feeling okay haha). I did used to cut, but haven't in about 2 years. I don't like blood or things I perceive as being unclean (such as anything I would cut with), I would have to spend at least 10 minutes cleaning it first, by which time I'd probably be feeling better anyway... It's times like this that make me like my OCD.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I know, I'm trying (well, not right now as I'm feeling okay haha). I did used to cut, but haven't in about 2 years. I don't like blood or things I perceive as being unclean (such as anything I would cut with), I would have to spend at least 10 minutes cleaning it first, by which time I'd probably be feeling better anyway... It's times like this that make me like my OCD.
    I'm glad you are feeling okay
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I didn't get to sleep until past 2am either. I'm developing a nice little phobia of sleeping at night time. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/rolleyes.gif

    I'm just worried about missing so many history lessons, I always have a lesson each day, sometimes 2, so 2 days can be the equivalent of a week of teaching. I have to self-teach about a 1/3 of the AS course anyway because of clashes, so when I'm feeling better, I'll just do that.

    I have cut before, years ago but I haven't since. I think it was mainly down to the whole blood and scars thing haha, not a fan.
    I only just got up... epic fail I didn't even sleep, really - just couldn't bring myself to face the day feeling tired. My friend is trying to drag me out on a walk though so maybe that will motivate me to get onto campus. Maybe it would help if you kept a little light on and pretended you weren't actually trying to go to sleep?

    Not that I'm encouraging skipping college in general or anything, but it's surprising how easily you can teach yourself the stuff when you're feeling alright. I can see how it's a stressful situation but I'm sure once you're feeling on top of things again you'll sort it out no problem

    Well I always try to see these things as the silver lining in a warped kind of way Like how my horrific terror of death at least stops me from being utterly suicidal...
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I'm not sure if anyone ever really knows what they want to do in uni, for a job etc, just from looking at my friends and family, but if you're not happy there are ways to change what you're doing to something you prefer.

    I thought students had to go out and get drunk? :p: It doesn't make you a bad person! Surely it's better to experiment now, when you have no one else to worry about, than when you have a mortgage to pay and people dependant on you? And the other 'bad things' you mention just seem to be normal things that everyone does, nobody's perfect, that'd be creepy.

    Why not phone up when you're feeling okay and book an appointment, that way you'll feel obliged to go?

    Things with me are varied. I can't keep up with my emotions any more haha.
    :yep: You are right, some sound advice there. Thanks!
    Ahh emotions are a strange thing, one minute you are sky high and then rock bottom... ok I REALLY must get on with my coursework now, deadline is Wednesday! :eek:
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    you can always listen to bbc radio 4 on iplayer or directly from their website
    Stupid me I never even thought about that lol. I miss all the short stories/dramatizations lol.
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    i am so sad i cant comprehend it
    i literally cant cope with my problems.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i am so sad i cant comprehend it
    i literally cant cope with my problems.
    :hugs: Why, what's up? Feel free to PM if you want to talk
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    (Original post by starryeyed.)
    I'm glad you are feeling okay
    Thanks.
    Good luck with your self harming, I meant to put that in my last post, but The Sims 3 distracted me by crashing :rolleyes:

    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I only just got up... epic fail I didn't even sleep, really - just couldn't bring myself to face the day feeling tired. My friend is trying to drag me out on a walk though so maybe that will motivate me to get onto campus. Maybe it would help if you kept a little light on and pretended you weren't actually trying to go to sleep?
    I only rolled out of bed after 12, and that was because the telly was crap haha. I'm still really tired though. I don't think it's the light, although I quite like the natural light being there when I'm sleeping... I think it's the fact that no one else is awake and my house makes weird noises... I don't know, it's really odd. Also, the advert breaks on TV are really short at 2 in the morning haha. What an interesting life I lead. :rolleyes: Although I probably need to mention the sleeping at night thing to my counsellor, or I'll never get decent grades!

    Not that I'm encouraging skipping college in general or anything, but it's surprising how easily you can teach yourself the stuff when you're feeling alright. I can see how it's a stressful situation but I'm sure once you're feeling on top of things again you'll sort it out no problem
    True, I just... I'm worried about how a particular teacher will take it, that's all.

    Well I always try to see these things as the silver lining in a warped kind of way Like how my horrific terror of death at least stops me from being utterly suicidal...
    Yes, haha. I've got a weird fear of death where I just think I'll regret it, because things will improve... Yep, things always improve :yep:

    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :yep: You are right, some sound advice there. Thanks!
    Ahh emotions are a strange thing, one minute you are sky high and then rock bottom... ok I REALLY must get on with my coursework now, deadline is Wednesday! :eek:
    Yeah, although today I'm varying between tired/neutral to feeling very down...

    -

    I'm really worried I'm going to lose loads of weight, because I'm barely eating at the moment, my portions are about a quarter of the size you'd give to a child. I do feel hungry sometimes (not nearly as much as I should), but the thought of food makes me feel sick. If I lose too much weight, 1) I'll feel like crap and 2) my eating disorder is likely to rear it's ugly head, which I really do not want. Right, I should go find something to eat for breakfast...
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i am so sad i cant comprehend it
    i literally cant cope with my problems.
    :hugs:

    I find talking about things can help you feel better, the people on this thread are very supportive. :yep:

    And remember - it always gets better. Even if you can't see that right now, you will soon. You'll be able to look back and realise how strong you are to have coped with that and you will feel happy.

    Have you thought about seeing your GP yet?
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    guys i honestly cannot function and be up and normal during the day. i just cant do it. i really want to be nocturnal again but my mum wont allow it. but theres the risk of me literally breaking down if im up during the day. i dont know what to do but im in a state.
    i want to see my gp but problem is i dont even step foot out of my house so i dont know when. i cant do anything. im royally ******.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Thanks.
    I'm really worried I'm going to lose loads of weight, because I'm barely eating at the moment, my portions are about a quarter of the size you'd give to a child. I do feel hungry sometimes (not nearly as much as I should), but the thought of food makes me feel sick. If I lose too much weight, 1) I'll feel like crap and 2) my eating disorder is likely to rear it's ugly head, which I really do not want. Right, I should go find something to eat for breakfast...
    I can completely relate! Since my anxiety/moving to Uni I've been eating less than I should be and whats more is I'm doing a lot more walking too. My appetite can go from being full on I eat whatever is insight ( right now I'm at that stage) and then suddenly it will disappear and I will struggle to have three meals a day.
    Like you I'm worried that my issue with food will become a real problem again. I'd never been diagnosed with an E.D when I was younger but I lost A LOT of weight and hardly ate anything to the point where I almost passed out in class. I've never really seen anyone about it because I never thought of it as a problem, I would watch programmes about anorexics and because I didn't look as thin as them I didn't think I had a problem ( I didn't know that it wasn't just a physical thing but more a mental issue).

    Have you tried doing about of house cleaning? Whenever I feel like my appetite is non-existant and I'm slipping into bad habbits I clean the flat. My house mates moan that I'm doing too much but it really helps me to work up a bit of an appetite.

    I find it hard to eat in public, if I'm faced with big portions ( I like to control my portions which is why I hate eatin in resturants) I usually have panic attacks. I felt like I was dying when I went out with friends for Christmas...there was food all around and I felt so trapped and was scared that it was a sign that my issues were back. Just take things one step at a time and tell yourself that things will be ok and you wont fall into bad habits again as we all learn from our mistakes. Have small/regular meals and gradually you will be able to work way back to normal portion sizes. Don't look at everyone elses portions and feel like you should be eating as much as them ( I used to do that and panic even more).

    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    guys i honestly cannot function and be up and normal during the day. i just cant do it. i really want to be nocturnal again but my mum wont allow it. but theres the risk of me literally breaking down if im up during the day. i dont know what to do but im in a state.
    i want to see my gp but problem is i dont even step foot out of my house so i dont know when. i cant do anything. im royally ******.
    Can you just not move from the computer all day, to give you something to do that require no thinking? Or you could tell your Mum you're not feeling well (migraine or something) to try and get some sleep if it won't cause any arguments.

    Right, when you're feeling better, call your GP and book an appointment for as soon as you can. Write it down somewhere prominent in big letters so you remind yourself to go. Doctors can get arsey if you don't turn up, but remember that going to see your GP is going to really help, because they can give you help.

    If you think they won't take you seriously, try taking this NHS test and tell them how you did in it.

    :console:
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    guys i honestly cannot function and be up and normal during the day. i just cant do it. i really want to be nocturnal again but my mum wont allow it. but theres the risk of me literally breaking down if im up during the day. i dont know what to do but im in a state.
    i want to see my gp but problem is i dont even step foot out of my house so i dont know when. i cant do anything. im royally ******.

    :hugs: maybe you could get someone to go with you, like your mum to see your GP...or ring and see if it would be possible for a house visit?

    I really hope things get better for you Malsy, you seem to be suffering a lot, I want to hear positive things from you. It makes me sad to see you in dispair, don't give up. Its all about having the right attitude, you will come through this one step at a time. Little progress is better than none at all.
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    thanks a lot steffi and thanks rach. im just deeply affected by it all and want to cry but i stop myself by just becoming numb. i honestly dont know what to say or think anymore and the way i cope is just by not living - just hiding from the world. and its just unfair that i cant be normal and anyone else would just kill themselves right now. how do i cope. how. its, as i said, cos im not acutally living. and its totally sad and kills me inside.
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    ill book an appt some time next week hopefully. sigh
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    thanks a lot steffi and thanks rach. im just deeply affected by it all and want to cry but i stop myself by just becoming numb. i honestly dont know what to say or think anymore and the way i cope is just by not living - just hiding from the world. and its just unfair that i cant be normal and anyone else would just kill themselves right now. how do i cope. how. its, as i said, cos im not acutally living. and its totally sad and kills me inside.
    Please go to your GP, take that test I linked you too if you don't think they'll listen. But they should, you clearly aren't feeling well.

    if you want to cry, then cry. That's why I pretty much always have the radio on, so I can cry without worrying people.

    I'm still new to this, but I would say just try to ride it out. Last night I just kept posting in here and that helped me to start to feel better, until I felt that it was safe enough for me to move from my computer.

    Don't focus on the 'not living' side, you need to get better first. You have so much time to go out and enjoy yourself but right now you need a little you time. If that's staying in your room staring at a screen then that's what you need. If you don't feel ready to go outside, don't force it. Try it later when you're feeling better. :hugs:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    I can completely relate! Since my anxiety/moving to Uni I've been eating less than I should be and whats more is I'm doing a lot more walking too. My appetite can go from being full on I eat whatever is insight ( right now I'm at that stage) and then suddenly it will disappear and I will struggle to have three meals a day.
    Like you I'm worried that my issue with food will become a real problem again. I'd never been diagnosed with an E.D when I was younger but I lost A LOT of weight and hardly ate anything to the point where I almost passed out in class. I've never really seen anyone about it because I never thought of it as a problem, I would watch programmes about anorexics and because I didn't look as thin as them I didn't think I had a problem ( I didn't know that it wasn't just a physical thing but more a mental issue).

    Have you tried doing about of house cleaning? Whenever I feel like my appetite is non-existant and I'm slipping into bad habbits I clean the flat. My house mates moan that I'm doing too much but it really helps me to work up a bit of an appetite.

    I find it hard to eat in public, if I'm faced with big portions ( I like to control my portions which is why I hate eatin in resturants) I usually have panic attacks. I felt like I was dying when I went out with friends for Christmas...there was food all around and I felt so trapped and was scared that it was a sign that my issues were back. Just take things one step at a time and tell yourself that things will be ok and you wont fall into bad habits again as we all learn from our mistakes. Have small/regular meals and gradually you will be able to work way back to normal portion sizes. Don't look at everyone elses portions and feel like you should be eating as much as them ( I used to do that and panic even more).

    :hugs:
    It sounds like you still have an eating disorder, that's how I was in the months when I thought I was recovered before I got help. I know I seem to be saying everyone should go to their GP today, but I would if I were you. I have quite a few scary stories about what the almost passing out, cramps in limbs etc is, passed on from my counsellor. You still seem to want control, but that's just your eating disorder controlling you.

    I used to think I wasn't underweight enough, I was. I didn't see it then, and have only recently begun to be able to see it (now that I can compare it to what I'm like now I'm healthy). My periods were beginning to stop, but I didn't see it. I was underweight, but I didn't see it etc. Don't assume that it wasn't and isn't very serious. The fact that you were almost passing out shows that your body was not healthy.

    I'm diagnosed with EDNOS - eating disorder not otherwise specified. I was diagnosed at a healthy weight, but the doctor was still incredibly concerned. In fact, at one point my counsellor turned to me and told me that she'd had to hospitalise a girl with similar symptoms to me - I was only a few pounds underweight.

    Yeah, I'm gonna go have some Ready Brek in a minute
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    im sick of reaching out to the docs, theyve not helped thus far
    but il be more blunt next time.
    i just feel like im never going to get better as its been years already. ****
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    im sick of reaching out to the docs, theyve not helped thus far
    but il be more blunt next time.
    i just feel like im never going to get better as its been years already. ****
    How old are you?

    Just be blunt and push it, they'll get the point that you're not happy.
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    im only 17 i should be living but ive not had a life for years and i am just honestly ****** why why why
    its not normal im not normal

    if only we could turn back time ey
 
 
 
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