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    (Original post by Malsy)
    im only 17 i should be living but ive not had a life for years and i am just honestly ****** why why why
    its not normal im not normal

    if only we could turn back time ey
    From what I've heard from friends, doctors seem a bit odd at diagnosing under 18s with depression, but they do do it. Just be blunt, because it's clear that something's not right.

    Do any family members think you're depressed, if so maybe take them along to help you?
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    yes family members know. i can take my nan but i;ll probably go in myself as i don't want her to hear me/see me most likely cry.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i am so sad i cant comprehend it
    i literally cant cope with my problems.
    awwww :hugs:
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    yes family members know. i can take my nan but i;ll probably go in myself as i don't want her to hear me/see me most likely cry.
    Okay, if family members know something's up, then your GP has to take note. Is there a doctor that you think will be most sympathetic? Good luck, but they should listen. :hugs:

    -

    Right, I'm off to have Ready Brek (with honey and a truckload of sugar :coma:), it's only 3pm, perfect time to have breakfast. But seriously, if I don't eat now, i never will - I'm starting to stop feel so hungry already
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    im only 17 i should be living but ive not had a life for years and i am just honestly ****** why why why
    its not normal im not normal

    if only we could turn back time ey
    I can completely relate to how your feeling right now. I'm still being a coward and refuse to go see a doctor, so it's really good your reaching out for help Don't give up though, seriously, you have nothing to lose from trying. Hang in there
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    It sounds like you still have an eating disorder, that's how I was in the months when I thought I was recovered before I got help. I know I seem to be saying everyone should go to their GP today, but I would if I were you. I have quite a few scary stories about what the almost passing out, cramps in limbs etc is, passed on from my counsellor. You still seem to want control, but that's just your eating disorder controlling you.

    I used to think I wasn't underweight enough, I was. I didn't see it then, and have only recently begun to be able to see it (now that I can compare it to what I'm like now I'm healthy). My periods were beginning to stop, but I didn't see it. I was underweight, but I didn't see it etc. Don't assume that it wasn't and isn't very serious. The fact that you were almost passing out shows that your body was not healthy.

    I'm diagnosed with EDNOS - eating disorder not otherwise specified. I was diagnosed at a healthy weight, but the doctor was still incredibly concerned. In fact, at one point my counsellor turned to me and told me that she'd had to hospitalise a girl with similar symptoms to me - I was only a few pounds underweight.

    Yeah, I'm gonna go have some Ready Brek in a minute
    Its weird because eating disorders/anxiety/depression are things I never ever thought that I would become a victim of... It just doesn't seem to me that I'm really suffering but then talking about it and thinking about it, I sort of...am.
    I just don't know where to begin really. I've never really been around supportive people. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my family to pieces but they seem to always want me to be ok and if I start talking about serious things like my mental wellbeing they block me out and tell me to just snap out of it. I wish it was that simple. Things are slowly improving or me but I still get the odd day/week where I feel like I'm slipping back into old habits.
    Friends haven't really been supportive in the past, in terms of my eating either so I don't really feel like I should bother explaining to them. Part of me just wants to block them out, but then they are my freinds so I should be honest with them. I don't want sympathy just support.

    When I was younger ( about 14/15) my periods were SO irregular after that time when I wasn't eating right, and they used to be regular, so I guess that was a sign too. It took about a year and a bit for them to become regular again and they still are now, which is a good sign .

    I'm just struggling with what to say to the doctor. As I've moved away from home I've had to register with a new one and so haven't even met him/her and I don't know what they are like or what to expect. I will find the courage eventually one day to seek help...hopefully. It still isn't 100% real for me, its hard to even consider...I think hearing it from a professional would maybe make things easier but I took that NHS quiz and it recommended that I see someone.
    I just hate the feeling of loosing control/being helpless.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Its weird because eating disorders/anxiety/depression are things I never ever thought that I would become a victim of... It just doesn't seem to me that I'm really suffering but then talking about it and thinking about it, I sort of...am.
    I just don't know where to begin really. I've never really been around supportive people. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my family to pieces but they seem to always want me to be ok and if I start talking about serious things like my mental wellbeing they block me out and tell me to just snap out of it. I wish it was that simple. Things are slowly improving or me but I still get the odd day/week where I feel like I'm slipping back into old habits.
    Friends haven't really been supportive in the past, in terms of my eating either so I don't really feel like I should bother explaining to them. Part of me just wants to block them out, but then they are my freinds so I should be honest with them. I don't want sympathy just support.

    When I was younger ( about 14/15) my periods were SO irregular after that time when I wasn't eating right, and they used to be regular, so I guess that was a sign too. It took about a year and a bit for them to become regular again and they still are now, which is a good sign .

    I'm just struggling with what to say to the doctor. As I've moved away from home I've had to register with a new one and so haven't even met him/her and I don't know what they are like or what to expect. I will find the courage eventually one day to seek help...hopefully. It still isn't 100% real for me, its hard to even consider...I think hearing it from a professional would maybe make things easier but I took that NHS quiz and it recommended that I see someone.
    I just hate the feeling of loosing control/being helpless.
    I think explaining things to your friends would help quite a bit. A lot of people don't understand mental health problems until they've been explained to them. I'm sure your friends would want to support you if they knew everything.

    I literally just went in to my doctor and said, 'I think I have an eating disorder' and then he just asked questions etc. He did have to take my measurements, but was really nice about it. You have to remember how long doctors are training to be doctors before they become them - they will understand that a mental health issue is serious and they will be supportive.

    Once I saw my doctor about it (I'd been seeing the school counsellor for about 2 months before hand), recovery started to get easier because I knew that it wasn't just me, there was something wrong. I also had the support of the eating disorder clinic that I was referred to.

    You're not losing control or being helpless, by seeking out help you are taking back control and helping yourself. :hugs:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Its weird because eating disorders/anxiety/depression are things I never ever thought that I would become a victim of... It just doesn't seem to me that I'm really suffering but then talking about it and thinking about it, I sort of...am.
    I just don't know where to begin really. I've never really been around supportive people. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my family to pieces but they seem to always want me to be ok and if I start talking about serious things like my mental wellbeing they block me out and tell me to just snap out of it. I wish it was that simple. Things are slowly improving or me but I still get the odd day/week where I feel like I'm slipping back into old habits.
    Friends haven't really been supportive in the past, in terms of my eating either so I don't really feel like I should bother explaining to them. Part of me just wants to block them out, but then they are my freinds so I should be honest with them. I don't want sympathy just support.

    When I was younger ( about 14/15) my periods were SO irregular after that time when I wasn't eating right, and they used to be regular, so I guess that was a sign too. It took about a year and a bit for them to become regular again and they still are now, which is a good sign .

    I'm just struggling with what to say to the doctor. As I've moved away from home I've had to register with a new one and so haven't even met him/her and I don't know what they are like or what to expect. I will find the courage eventually one day to seek help...hopefully. It still isn't 100% real for me, its hard to even consider...I think hearing it from a professional would maybe make things easier but I took that NHS quiz and it recommended that I see someone.
    I just hate the feeling of loosing control/being helpless.
    I really think it's time you saw a doctor. My one's incredibly nice and supportive, it could be just what you need. You don't need to worry about explaining all your problems straight away - you could just start with whatever's bothering you most and tell them the other stuff some other time. And if you actively do something to get better then you might not feel so helpless.
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    Why am I so tired? Okay, it could be the fact that I didn't even think about sleeping until past 2am, but...

    I was so ready to do some work and clean my room 2 hours ago, now I can't see the point in anything again. I am so emotionally unstable right now it's unreal - somewhere on here someone described the 3 unis I have offers from as 'lower down' and I burst into tears with the whole 'I'm a failure, I'll never succeed at anything and why the hell should I deserve to?' thing...

    Again I'm worried, because the feeling like a failure stuff has been increasing and whenever that happens, I normally relapse with my eating disorder, and that scares me so much.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I really think it's time you saw a doctor. My one's incredibly nice and supportive, it could be just what you need. You don't need to worry about explaining all your problems straight away - you could just start with whatever's bothering you most and tell them the other stuff some other time. And if you actively do something to get better then you might not feel so helpless.
    I guess you are right, might call them instead of going in, facing that dragon of a receptionist might put me off . I just don't want my family to know because I know they will take it badly. Mental health isn't something ever discussed in our house, we never talk about things as a family. The death of my brother was just brushed under the carpet and I guess I've just got used to doing the same with all my problems. Just a shame I've found out a little to late that it does more harm than good. I know my parents will just think I'm weak.
    Things ok for you today?

    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Why am I so tired? Okay, it could be the fact that I didn't even think about sleeping until past 2am, but...

    I was so ready to do some work and clean my room 2 hours ago, now I can't see the point in anything again. I am so emotionally unstable right now it's unreal - somewhere on here someone described the 3 unis I have offers from as 'lower down' and I burst into tears with the whole 'I'm a failure, I'll never succeed at anything and why the hell should I deserve to?' thing...

    Again I'm worried, because the feeling like a failure stuff has been increasing and whenever that happens, I normally relapse with my eating disorder, and that scares me so much.
    Ah I know how you feel, I just want to sleep right now, I want to sleep and never wake up. I like being unconscious to the world around me :yep:
    Surely you're enough of a success to actually be accepted by 3 out of 5 Unis! You should be proud and not listen to the rubbish that idiots on this site tell you ( there are a lot of insesitive people on here). I only got accepted for two and they were my back ups...very gutted but I told myself that I have to make the best out of a bad situation and even though I don't really like this course/location I've met some really good people and gotten away from the hell hole that was my 6th form.

    If you psyche yourself up for a relaps then it will happen. I remember being in that resturant, seeing the food and thinking "I'm going to have a panic attack I just know it, there is too much food...I can't do this" and I indeed had a panic attack. Treat yourself as your bestfriend.. What would you say to a bestfriend who was suffering the way that you are? Better still remember all the helpful advice you have given me and tell it to yourself. Its funny how we are so good at giving others advice on something we have/are experiencing but never actually take that advice ourselves. :hugs: stay strong.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    I guess you are right, might call them instead of going in, facing that dragon of a receptionist might put me off . I just don't want my family to know because I know they will take it badly. Mental health isn't something ever discussed in our house, we never talk about things as a family. The death of my brother was just brushed under the carpet and I guess I've just got used to doing the same with all my problems. Just a shame I've found out a little to late that it does more harm than good.
    Things ok for you today?



    Ah I know how you feel, I just want to sleep right now, I want to sleep and never wake up. I like being unconscious to the world around me :yep:
    Surely you're enough of a success to actually be accepted by 3 out of 5 Unis! You should be proud and not listen to the rubbish that idiots on this site tell you ( there are a lot of insesitive people on here). I only got accepted for two and they were my back ups...very gutted but I told myself that I have to make the best out of a bad situation and even though I don't really like this course/location I've met some really good people and gotten away from the hell hole that was my 6th form.

    If you psyche yourself up for a relaps then it will happen. I remember being in that resturant, seeing the food and thinking "I'm going to have a panic attack I just know it, there is too much food...I can't do this" and I indeed had a panic attack. Treat yourself as your bestfriend.. What would you say to a bestfriend who was suffering the way that you are? Better still remember all the helpful advice you have given me and tell it to yourself. Its funny how we are so good at giving others advice on something we have/are experiencing but never actually take that advice ourselves. :hugs: stay strong.
    Thanks. I think you seeing your doctor would be a good idea, and your family don't need to know if you don't want them to. I'm sorry to hear about your brother :hugs:

    I was amazed to get any offers, given the way I messed up my AS levels, but hey ho. I'm more than happy to go to Manchester, I'm just a bit of a wreck at the moment. It wouldn't normally get to me, they're just being idiots.

    I would tell myself to... Bribe my parents to drive me to the local shop to get some decent food in this house Haha. I'm just gonna take it easy today with some TV and reading.

    I have to say, yet another silver lining of feeling like this: the money in my bank account is staying in there, because I don't see the point in spending it. Even though I probably should buy that book haha. :rolleyes:
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    I absolutely wish I succeeded with my suicide attempt in November. I could be at peace now, instead I survived only to live for another 3 months feeling as though nothing has changed. I won't post anymore on these feelings of mine because I don't want people to think I'm attention seeking or anything like that, but when I woke up in hospital I didn't think I'd be feeling exactily the same 3 months later.
    The only thing that is keeping me here at the moment is the thought of hurting my family, however now I feel this bad again, I know it isn't possible to continue living when you don't want to, just for other people.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Thanks. I think you seeing your doctor would be a good idea, and your family don't need to know if you don't want them to. I'm sorry to hear about your brother :hugs:

    I was amazed to get any offers, given the way I messed up my AS levels, but hey ho. I'm more than happy to go to Manchester, I'm just a bit of a wreck at the moment. It wouldn't normally get to me, they're just being idiots.

    I would tell myself to... Bribe my parents to drive me to the local shop to get some decent food in this house Haha. I'm just gonna take it easy today with some TV and reading.

    I have to say, yet another silver lining of feeling like this: the money in my bank account is staying in there, because I don't see the point in spending it. Even though I probably should buy that book haha. :rolleyes:
    Yeah my brothers death was ages ago, still birth, I was about 3 when it happened. I never really understood what was going on but I deffo noticed the strain it had on my parents relationship and my dad didn't deal with it very well...I feel he took some of his anger out on me but hey ho we are getting back to "normal" now even though we still haven't talked about it, its water under the bridge. I just admire my mum for staying so stronger after everything she has been through. She's my inspiration to get better because if she can stay strong for us then I can stay strong for her :yep:. Will give the docs a call next week. Thanks for the encouragement.

    Oooh Manchester! I wanted to go there, I LOVE the accents and aparently people are lovely up there, not cold like us Londoners haha.
    My fingers are crossed that you get the acceptances you want.
    The thing that bugs me about this whole Uni/Education/Social class thing is that people are more focused on gaining a reputation for where they have been educated etc. Not enough people in this world focus on being a good person and how they affect other peoples lives.
    I for one don't remember my old biology teacher as "the lady who had good connections with the best unis" but I will always remember her as the woman who almost destroyed me. People will always remember you for WHO you were as a person not WHAT you were in terms of success. :yep:
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    I absolutely wish I succeeded with my suicide attempt in November. I could be at peace now, instead I survived only to live for another 3 months feeling as though nothing has changed. I won't post anymore on these feelings of mine because I don't want people to think I'm attention seeking or anything like that, but when I woke up in hospital I didn't think I'd be feeling exactily the same 3 months later.
    The only thing that is keeping me here at the moment is the thought of hurting my family, however now I feel this bad again, I know it isn't possible to continue living when you don't want to, just for other people.
    :hugs:

    Is there anyone you can talk to right now? It may take some time, but things always get better. I know I keep saying that, but it's the mantra that's kept me sane for however long.

    The fact that you don't want to hurt your family shows that you have people that you love and who love you, which is more than some people. I know that that probably doesn't change how you feel but please remember that things will get better. And (here comes the religious part) perhaps you survived in November for a reason? That reason could be just around the corner. :console:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Yeah my brothers death was ages ago, still birth, I was about 3 when it happened. I never really understood what was going on but I deffo noticed the strain it had on my parents relationship and my dad didn't deal with it very well...I feel he took some of his anger out on me but hey ho we are getting back to "normal" now even though we still haven't talked about it, its water under the bridge. I just admire my mum for staying so stronger after everything she has been through. She's my inspiration to get better because if she can stay strong for us then I can stay strong for her :yep:. Will give the docs a call next week. Thanks for the encouragement.
    I think a lot of families are odd when it comes to things like that and mental health problems. My mother is far too concerned with what other people think (yes, because the doctor's going to go and tell the entire village I have depression :rolleyes: Mothers!), but my Dad doesn't do or say much about it, he just tries to get me to eat and occasionally change out of my pyjamas, which is good I guess.

    Going to the doctor really is the first step in making things a little easier for yourself.

    Oooh Manchester! I wanted to go there, I LOVE the accents and aparently people are lovely up there, not cold like us Londoners haha.
    My fingers are crossed that you get the acceptances you want.
    The thing that bugs me about this whole Uni/Education/Social class thing is that people are more focused on gaining a reputation for where they have been educated etc. Not enough people in this world focus on being a good person and how they affect other peoples lives.
    I for one don't remember my old biology teacher as "the lady who had good connections with the best unis" but I will always remember her as the woman who almost destroyed me. People will always remember you for WHO you were as a person not WHAT you were in terms of success. :yep:
    I haven't actually been to Manchester yet :o: I just l=fell in love with their course a few weeks before I sent off my application have have been very lucky! Well, that and how many people apply for ancient history anyway?

    That is so true, but oddly I've never thought of that! Ooh, it makes me want to go and be a 100% good person now haha!
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    I absolutely wish I succeeded with my suicide attempt in November. I could be at peace now, instead I survived only to live for another 3 months feeling as though nothing has changed. I won't post anymore on these feelings of mine because I don't want people to think I'm attention seeking or anything like that, but when I woke up in hospital I didn't think I'd be feeling exactily the same 3 months later.
    The only thing that is keeping me here at the moment is the thought of hurting my family, however now I feel this bad again, I know it isn't possible to continue living when you don't want to, just for other people.
    :hugs: this page is for everyone to express how they are feeling, we aren't here to judge you as an attention seeker.
    Since being in hospital have you done anything to change you view on life. Often you will find that if you are living your life the same as before you were hospitalised then nothing is going to change. Try doing something different, challenging but rewarding/enjoyable and see how you feel then. You are right about not living life just for others, we all need a purpose for ourselves but I think its too soon to give up.
    Are you on meds for your depression? Have you seen your doctor about maybe chaning your strength/dosage or type of medication, that might help also. Good luck and don't give up, surely if you are worried about hurting your family by commiting suicide then your life is precious and you are precious to other people. :yep:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I think a lot of families are odd when it comes to things like that and mental health problems. My mother is far too concerned with what other people think (yes, because the doctor's going to go and tell the entire village I have depression :rolleyes: Mothers!), but my Dad doesn't do or say much about it, he just tries to get me to eat and occasionally change out of my pyjamas, which is good I guess.

    Going to the doctor really is the first step in making things a little easier for yourself.

    I haven't actually been to Manchester yet :o: I just l=fell in love with their course a few weeks before I sent off my application have have been very lucky! Well, that and how many people apply for ancient history anyway?

    That is so true, but oddly I've never thought of that! Ooh, it makes me want to go and be a 100% good person now haha!
    AHah yeah, I mean its not like I'm running around with a sign saying "I'm nut job" or something...when I told one of my friends about some of my problems she was shocked, she thought that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was so confident etc. I'm just very good at not always showing it. I had a friend in a similar situation who I thought was so sure of her self and had no problems what so ever, only to find out she suffers from OCD...strange how we can hide things so well.

    I'm going to talk to mum about it too and just reasure her that I'm ok and that I'm going to get help and that if I was to just leave things then that would be the "weak thing to do".
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    I absolutely wish I succeeded with my suicide attempt in November. I could be at peace now, instead I survived only to live for another 3 months feeling as though nothing has changed. I won't post anymore on these feelings of mine because I don't want people to think I'm attention seeking or anything like that, but when I woke up in hospital I didn't think I'd be feeling exactily the same 3 months later.
    The only thing that is keeping me here at the moment is the thought of hurting my family, however now I feel this bad again, I know it isn't possible to continue living when you don't want to, just for other people.
    What Rachel said. But also, what's wrong with wanting a bit of attention? You feel like ****, and if talking to us helps even just a tiny bit then you should keep on doing it. We're all in the same boat anyway, I come on here and moan all the time...
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    Hey guys.
    I haven't been diagnosed with anything, the only professional I have spoken to is a counsellor for 2 sessions for self harm. We didn't exactly get on, so I haven't seen her since, and we never spoke about depression so who knows, I could just be feeling a bit sad or something. :rolleyes:

    But somethings not right with me. It literally feels like i'm detached from everyone and everything right now. I'm struggling with self harm right now, stopping self harm and resisting the urges. I just feel detached, and incredibly lonely, like everyone has their perfect normal lives, and then theres me.

    I have so much college work to do. It needed to be in before half term but i'm having trouble explaining why its not in, so i'm not getting any extra help/deadlines, not that I deserve it. Dreading being back on Monday, with no work. They will probably get parents involved, my parents just cannot know and be involved in this!! The stress of having deadlines, so much work and being behind is really not helping me right now. I don't have any motivation what so ever, I can't focus on the work I just end up staring at a blank screen. Not just college work, anything. I've barely left my room today, i'm not even dressed, and not left the house in two days.

    I don't know what to do, I just feel so low right now. I keep telling myself it's just a phase, but i'm sick of feeling it
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    AHah yeah, I mean its not like I'm running around with a sign saying "I'm nut job" or something...when I told one of my friends about some of my problems she was shocked, she thought that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was so confident etc. I'm just very good at not always showing it. I had a friend in a similar situation who I thought was so sure of her self and had no problems what so ever, only to find out she suffers from OCD...strange how we can hide things so well.

    I'm going to talk to mum about it too and just reasure her that I'm ok and that I'm going to get help and that if I was to just leave things then that would be the "weak thing to do".
    Haha, yeah. I know, it's so odd to think that everyone's okay only to find out they're not. The friends I've made in the past year, well, I thought that they were all 'normal', not problems etc. I was so wrong, everyone there has a mental health problem of some sort! Literally every person! It's great because I know I always have someone I can talk to about things, so there's a brilliant support network and obviously we all understand each other, but it's horrible to think that they have to go through all that.

    I hope your Mum takes it well! I found that talking to my Mum about the antidepressants whilst we were in hospital waiting for our neighbour helped, as she couldn't say anything against it. It also gave me a chance to tell her what was really going on in my head and reassure her that I was only taking them to help myself. Is there a way you can do something like that?

    -

    Oddly, my Mum said the other day that the antidepressants were making me a 'nicer person'. My relationship with my family (and indeed friends) has been a bit strained for the past few months because I just want to hide away all the time and can get irritable if people don't let me, so I guess when I'm feeling okay, that's true to an extent... However, the jerky shaking/whatever is still continuing and is really annoying me. :rolleyes:
 
 
 
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