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    (Original post by starryeyed.)
    Hey guys.
    I haven't been diagnosed with anything, the only professional I have spoken to is a counsellor for 2 sessions for self harm. We didn't exactly get on, so I haven't seen her since, and we never spoke about depression so who knows, I could just be feeling a bit sad or something. :rolleyes:

    But somethings not right with me. It literally feels like i'm detached from everyone and everything right now. I'm struggling with self harm right now, stopping self harm and resisting the urges. I just feel detached, and incredibly lonely, like everyone has their perfect normal lives, and then theres me.

    I have so much college work to do. It needed to be in before half term but i'm having trouble explaining why its not in. The stress of having deadlines, so much work and being behind is really not helping me right now. I don't have any motivation what so ever, I can't focus on the work I just end up staring at a blank screen. Not just college work, anything. I've barely left my room today, i'm not even dressed, and not left the house in two days.

    I don't know what to do, I just feel so low right now. I keep telling myself it's just a phase, but i'm sick of feeling it
    Guess what I'm going to say? Yeah, 'I think you should see your GP'. Okay, this may not be too great and not make sense because I'm feeling a bit odd right now (might just be the hunger): if you see your GP, you can get help, you can tell your school what's going on so that they cut you some slack and you can start focussing on trying to feel better, rather than worrying about X, Y or Z.

    Try seeing another counsellor, or if that's not possible, try to continue seeing your current one. It takes a while to build up trust with them - I still haven't told my counsellor about my OCD and it's been a year.
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    My mom hates my contact with the mental health services. In fact, she once cancelled all my appointments once and hid my medication because she doesn't want me to be 'one of them', whatever that means.

    She's a *****, though.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    My mom hates my contact with the mental health services. In fact, she once cancelled all my appointments once and hid my medication because she doesn't want me to be 'one of them', whatever that means.

    She's a *****, though.
    Mother's are odd. I think they think they're doing the best for us, but they just don't know enough to do so. :hugs:

    It doesn't help my paranoid thoughts about the medication though...

    Okay, this is probably a stupid question, but it's been bugging me: if, on the GP's medical records, they've prescribed me antidepressants, do they have to say what for and also does that mean that I'm diagnosed with depression? Because I keep thinking that they just gave them to me to shut me up, even though that completely goes against how the conversation before went. What can I say? I'm paranoid about this sort of thing normally and I'm guessing watching Dollhouse right now doesn't help things.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Mother's are odd. I think they think they're doing the best for us, but they just don't know enough to do so. :hugs:

    It doesn't help my paranoid thoughts about the medication though...

    Okay, this is probably a stupid question, but it's been bugging me: if, on the GP's medical records, they've prescribed me antidepressants, do they have to say what for and also does that mean that I'm diagnosed with depression? Because I keep thinking that they just gave them to me to shut me up, even though that completely goes against how the conversation before went. What can I say? I'm paranoid about this sort of thing normally and I'm guessing watching Dollhouse right now doesn't help things.
    Well, I needed a diagnosis from the psychiatrist before my GP would prescribe me anti-depressants. Official diagnosis was 'PTSD' and then under 'medication' it listed what it was. So, in my case, yeah, I'm not sure if this applies to all GP surgeries though.

    Yeah, my mom thinks if I get involved with mental health services then I'll 'never get a decent job' because I'll be labelled a 'nutjob'. Bit dramatic but probably some truth to it. To be honest, she's installed a sense of fear in me about seeing these psychiatrists and being medicated but... oh well.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Guess what I'm going to say? Yeah, 'I think you should see your GP'. Okay, this may not be too great and not make sense because I'm feeling a bit odd right now (might just be the hunger): if you see your GP, you can get help, you can tell your school what's going on so that they cut you some slack and you can start focussing on trying to feel better, rather than worrying about X, Y or Z.

    Try seeing another counsellor, or if that's not possible, try to continue seeing your current one. It takes a while to build up trust with them - I still haven't told my counsellor about my OCD and it's been a year.
    Thanks for your reply. I really, really don't want to see my GP. I don't know why, I just can't get the guts to go to someone and ask for help. I feel like i'm just attention seeking and theres people worse off than me, so i'll just be laughed out the room or something. Either laughed at, judged or the thought of actually having something wrong with me terrifies me.

    One tutor at college does know everything but the work has to be sent off to the exam board which means it has to be in, so she can't cut me some slack. I've tried explaining that I can't do my work and she knows i'm stressed but I couldn't explain how difficult it is for me right now.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Well, I needed a diagnosis from the psychiatrist before my GP would prescribe me anti-depressants. Official diagnosis was 'PTSD' and then under 'medication' it listed what it was. So, in my case, yeah, I'm not sure if this applies to all GP surgeries though.

    Yeah, my mom thinks if I get involved with mental health services then I'll 'never get a decent job' because I'll be labelled a 'nutjob'. Bit dramatic but probably some truth to it. To be honest, she's installed a sense of fear in me about seeing these psychiatrists and being medicated but... oh well.
    Apart from for a few jobs, how the hell would potential employers find out? However, not accepting help could lead to you not even being able to work. :hugs:

    (Original post by starryeyed.)
    Thanks for your reply. I really, really don't want to see my GP. I don't know why, I just can't get the guts to go to someone and ask for help. I feel like i'm just attention seeking and theres people worse off than me, so i'll just be laughed out the room or something. Either laughed at, judged or the thought of actually having something wrong with me terrifies me.

    One tutor at college does know everything but the work has to be sent off to the exam board which means it has to be in, so she can't cut me some slack. I've tried explaining that I can't do my work and she knows i'm stressed but I couldn't explain how difficult it is for me right now.
    From what I've read in this thread, I think that's how everyone feels, but you're not attention seeking, you have every right to ask for help. Taking that first step makes everything else so much easier. They won't laugh at you, only help you.

    Well just try to do a little bit when you feel you can. If you go to your GP, you'll be able to ask the exam boards to take all of this into consideration should you wish to. :hugs:

    -

    I'm on a bit of a high - I just donated to Haiti. mainly 'cause Evanescence are offering a free download, but it still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside which is quite nice for once haha.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Apart from for a few jobs, how the hell would potential employers find out? However, not accepting help could lead to you not even being able to work. :hugs:
    My dream career is to be a teacher, it's all I've ever wanted to do, and now I can't.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    My dream career is to be a teacher, it's all I've ever wanted to do, and now I can't.
    Have you done research and made sure of this? It might be less of a problem than you'd think. Fairly sure a few of my teachers must have been mentally ill... And even if you can't teach kids, maybe you could teach adults instead? Or wait a few years and see if your situation's changed?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Haha, yeah. I know, it's so odd to think that everyone's okay only to find out they're not. The friends I've made in the past year, well, I thought that they were all 'normal', not problems etc. I was so wrong, everyone there has a mental health problem of some sort! Literally every person! It's great because I know I always have someone I can talk to about things, so there's a brilliant support network and obviously we all understand each other, but it's horrible to think that they have to go through all that.

    I hope your Mum takes it well! I found that talking to my Mum about the antidepressants whilst we were in hospital waiting for our neighbour helped, as she couldn't say anything against it. It also gave me a chance to tell her what was really going on in my head and reassure her that I was only taking them to help myself. Is there a way you can do something like that?

    -

    Oddly, my Mum said the other day that the antidepressants were making me a 'nicer person'. My relationship with my family (and indeed friends) has been a bit strained for the past few months because I just want to hide away all the time and can get irritable if people don't let me, so I guess when I'm feeling okay, that's true to an extent... However, the jerky shaking/whatever is still continuing and is really annoying me. :rolleyes:
    Just spoke to mum on the phone, she took it well actually . She says that if it means seeing the doctor then she;s ok with it as long as I benefit from it. I don't want to go straight onto meds though, would like to give counselling another go though because I did find it helpful first time round but sessions were limited because it was at Uni.
    Will give the surgery a call on monday. Thanks for giving me the courage :hugs:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Have you done research and made sure of this? It might be less of a problem than you'd think. Fairly sure a few of my teachers must have been mentally ill... And even if you can't teach kids, maybe you could teach adults instead? Or wait a few years and see if your situation's changed?
    :yep: one of my old teachers suffered from depression. He was the first person I went to when I felt things were wrong, it was just nice to get some advice from him and to see how even though he is a suffer he still manages to make it to class each day and deliever. I would never have guessed that he suffered, he was so strong. Don't let your illness destory your dreams! I want to teach too
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Just spoke to mum on the phone, she took it well actually . She says that if it means seeing the doctor then she;s ok with it as long as I benefit from it. I don't want to go straight onto meds though, would like to give counselling another go though because I did find it helpful first time round but sessions were limited because it was at Uni.
    Will give the surgery a call on monday. Thanks for giving me the courage :hugs:
    That's great!
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Have you done research and made sure of this? It might be less of a problem than you'd think. Fairly sure a few of my teachers must have been mentally ill... And even if you can't teach kids, maybe you could teach adults instead? Or wait a few years and see if your situation's changed?
    Well, every 'professional' who I've told about my worries have just looked uncomfortable, as though to say 'this is really awkward because I know you won't be able to become a teacher'. I've done research and I wouldn't pass my CRB because of a silly section 136
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Well, every 'professional' who I've told about my worries have just looked uncomfortable, as though to say 'this is really awkward because I know you won't be able to become a teacher'. I've done research and I wouldn't pass my CRB because of a silly section 136
    Why would you put the word professional in inverted commas and then go on to take what they say/don't say seriously? :p: Have you thought of teaching abroad? Not all countries have as much bureaucracy as we do.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Why would you put the word professional in inverted commas and then go on to take what they say/don't say seriously? :p: Have you thought of teaching abroad? Not all countries have as much bureaucracy as we do.
    Good point :p: I haven't thought about it, no, but it would be interesting. I may look into it.

    ... I researched and to teach abroad you still need a qualification to be a teacher, and no uni is going to accept me on a PGCE course. Sigh.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Good point :p: I haven't thought about it, no, but it would be interesting. I may look into it.

    ... I researched and to teach abroad you still need a qualification to be a teacher, and no uni is going to accept me on a PGCE course. Sigh.
    What's stopping you getting the qualification abroad rather than do a PGCE in Britain? Though I guess it would be difficult to emigrate without having skills they want, most of the time, but you shouldn't give up, I'm sure there will be some method of doing what you want to.

    I'm in much the same boat. I'm 99.5% sure my ideal job won't take me and it's a really **** feeling, but I try to remember about that 0.5%.
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    I wanted to do some work tonight, but I'm not feeling great again. Why can't I just be normal? I'm not feeling awful, just numb. But not really... I see absolutely no point in anything and the numbness is sort of... I dunno, it feels a bit like in 15 minutes I'll be mid break down. Like the quiet before the storm. I still feel like this is all fake, I'm imagining it.

    The temptation to self harm keeps coming and going... Mainly just to feel something. Wow, that sounds weird. What the hell is up with me? Sorry to keep bombarding you guys with my weird, stupid posts.
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    I know what you mean. I feel empty tonight and also keep thinking about sh and how that would perhaps fill the void...

    Sabertooth, the job situation really is ****
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    Does the CRB check actually reveal diagnoses of conditions such as depression, or is it only if someone's been sectioned at some point?

    Rachel - I'm really glad you've decided to go discuss things with the GP :hugs: I know it's scary but it could really help, and just taking a step like that will make you feel more in control of things. Also yay that your mum's being ok about it now

    35mm_ & Sabertooth - Surely you can't be certain that no uni would accept you? I would think you'd still be able to get onto a PGCE, especially if you could show that you'd taken steps to help yourself get better. I'm sure there's still an excellent chance that you can do what you want, don't give up hope :hugs:

    Steffi- Sorry you're not feeling good :console: What makes it feel like you're on the brink of breakdown? No it's understandable - for a couple of weeks when I felt intensely restless and emotionless on the fluoxetine I kept picking up the scissors and contemplating it. Tried it a couple of times but chickened out, thankfully. I did punch a wall a few times though Please try to resist the impulse - remember you'll probably feel better again in a few hours... stupid mood swings!

    My day looked to be a complete bust until 4pm when I dragged myself through shower and getting dressed to go on a walk with a friend, then finished my book at the library - feel quite proud (though I felt pretty crap again after talking to my mum, as is often the way).
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    I know what you mean. I feel empty tonight and also keep thinking about sh and how that would perhaps fill the void...

    Sabertooth, the job situation really is ****
    But it won't, self harming never really helps with anything. The only thing that you'll fell afterwards is guilt/a similar emotion, it's just not worth it :hugs:

    Also, I had a quick Google search and it seems very split as to whether or not that thing mentioned earlier actually shows up. Why not go to a police station and ask (that's the only place I can think of). One guy posted on a forum saying that he'd been under that thing you guys mentioned loads of times, but it never showed up on his enhanced CRB check... Don't give up hope! Also, isn't it illegal for them to turn you down because of mental health problems?

    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Steffi- Sorry you're not feeling good :console: What makes it feel like you're on the brink of breakdown? No it's understandable - for a couple of weeks when I felt intensely restless and emotionless on the fluoxetine I kept picking up the scissors and contemplating it. Tried it a couple of times but chickened out, thankfully. I did punch a wall a few times though Please try to resist the impulse - remember you'll probably feel better again in a few hours... stupid mood swings!

    My day looked to be a complete bust until 4pm when I dragged myself through shower and getting dressed to go on a walk with a friend, then finished my book at the library - feel quite proud (though I felt pretty crap again after talking to my mum, as is often the way).
    Thanks, I'm feeling a bit better. I went and had some food instead, but I'm still way off having enough calories for today.

    I don't know why I feel like that, I've been really unstable all of today. Every mistake I've ever made (mainly academically) is haunting me right now, adding to the feeling like a failure. I'm about to study though, so I'm hoping that lessens.

    The thought of blood right now... No thank you. Why did I ever think I wanted to be a doctor? :rolleyes: Mind you, I know several doctors that hate blood. :shrugs:

    Well done! That's a load of stuff to accomplish!
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    It is in most jobs, but for jobs working with children or vunerable adults they can turn you down for mental health issues, due to the 'fitness to teach' thing. Ah, I'll get over it.

    Neeeeeed sleep but I'm out of sleeping pills. Dum dum. Hope everyone's alrighty.
 
 
 
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