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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Brrrrrrrrrrrrr. The boiler's broken and I'm freezing. I'm wearing pyjamas, two jumpers, socks, fingerless gloves, in bed with a duvet and a blanket and I'm still cold. Never mind killing myself, I'm gonna freeze to death.
    get a down jacket/sleeping back! they cost a 100-200 quid but well worth the money in my opinion! Amongst the best insulators known to man
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    Rachel - :hugs:
    Steffi - Same. I have lovely friends, sometimes I feel really paranoid that I'm a constant downer on them. I just always think 'it might be better in 10 years' and if I kill myself then that won't even be a possibility. At least when you're alive, everything's possible.

    What I'm finding really freaky right now is that I keep having really vivid dreams of self injury, where I can almost feel it happening but then of course when I wake up there are no scars. It's so triggering and I'm pretty sure the 'realness' of my dreams are due to my new sleeping pills... Has anybody else ever had this?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :console:

    Panic attacks are horrible things.
    I know, the worst. The first few weeks of Uni I lost almost a stone because of them, I was such a wreck when I went home, I really thought I was going to die if I went on like that.

    Sorry I'm just being really :emo: today and the fact that I went to bed at 4am probably contributes to that. I just don't understand why I get them....especially about moving to and from Uni. Everyone else does it with such ease.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    get a down jacket/sleeping back! they cost a 100-200 quid but well worth the money in my opinion! Amongst the best insulators known to man
    Boiler's working again thank ****.

    How're you today?
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Rachel - :hugs:
    Steffi - Same. I have lovely friends, sometimes I feel really paranoid that I'm a constant downer on them. I just always think 'it might be better in 10 years' and if I kill myself then that won't even be a possibility. At least when you're alive, everything's possible.

    What I'm finding really freaky right now is that I keep having really vivid dreams of self injury, where I can almost feel it happening but then of course when I wake up there are no scars. It's so triggering and I'm pretty sure the 'realness' of my dreams are due to my new sleeping pills... Has anybody else ever had this?
    Exactly. I always think that, if it were possible, if I killed myself I'd regret it. It'd be awful to on the verge of death and realise you've made a mistake and actually you'd want to live... That really scares me, hence why I'm still alive :rolleyes:

    :hugs: That sounds horrible! Hopefully it'll clear soon.

    -

    I think I'm going to clean my bathroom to give myself something to do (well, that and I want to use my bathroom and my OCD is really out of control today). I really hope I see the school counsellor tomorrow, I have no idea how I'll cope if not :sigh:

    Has anyone found that citalopram gives the spots, or is it more likely down to my crappy diet that even a child would lose weight on?
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Rachel - :hugs:
    Steffi - Same. I have lovely friends, sometimes I feel really paranoid that I'm a constant downer on them. I just always think 'it might be better in 10 years' and if I kill myself then that won't even be a possibility. At least when you're alive, everything's possible.

    What I'm finding really freaky right now is that I keep having really vivid dreams of self injury, where I can almost feel it happening but then of course when I wake up there are no scars. It's so triggering and I'm pretty sure the 'realness' of my dreams are due to my new sleeping pills... Has anybody else ever had this?
    :hugs:Thanks for the hug, really need it right now...
    I know what you mean about being a downer to your friends. Thats why I want to see a counsellor/therapist because I keep talking to my friend about my problems and I don't want to bring her down, its not her job to listen to me complain all the time, especially when it doesn't make sense.

    In terms of self injury dreams I haven't really had any. I'd had dreams where someone else is hurting me but lately I've hardly had any dreams ( minus the couple of occations where I'm walking the same deserted road). Have you seen the doc about this? Is it every time you take the pills?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    I know, the worst. The first few weeks of Uni I lost almost a stone because of them, I was such a wreck when I went home, I really thought I was going to die if I went on like that.

    Sorry I'm just being really :emo: today and the fact that I went to bed at 4am probably contributes to that. I just don't understand why I get them....especially about moving to and from Uni. Everyone else does it with such ease.
    I've been having panic attacks too, but now they're not about anything, which is really weird. Have you spoken to anyone about them?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs:Thanks for the hug, really need it right now...
    I know what you mean about being a downer to your friends. Thats why I want to see a counsellor/therapist because I keep talking to my friend about my problems and I don't want to bring her down, its not her job to listen to me complain all the time, especially when it doesn't make sense.

    In terms of self injury dreams I haven't really had any. I'd had dreams where someone else is hurting me but lately I've hardly had any dreams ( minus the couple of occations where I'm walking the same deserted road). Have you seen the doc about this? Is it every time you take the pills?
    I talk to my teacher instead of my friends now because I know my problems are far too much for them to be able to cope with, but then I even worry that I'm stressing my teacher out so I'm trying not to talk to her about it anymore. She insists she doesn't mind but I can tell that the stuff I talk to her about distresses her.

    Well, I had my first one on Friday which was when I started on these pills so I'm guessing it's down to them, or could just be a coincidence, I don't know. I'm not too bothered by them, I just hate waking up even more triggered than I usually am and feeling the need to take razors to school and stuff.

    My God, I sound really ****** up, I know.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Boiler's working again thank ****.

    How're you today?
    i planned my spanish project about me spending the night with j-lo, haha! and i've got a few sources sorted out! So i felt this was enough and thereafter just laid in the sun on my bed

    This evening i went to meet old friends who i'd not seen since last summer! We went to pizza express and had pizza and then i made my way home arriving some 20 mins ago

    how was your day?
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    I talk to my teacher instead of my friends now because I know my problems are far too much for them to be able to cope with, but then I even worry that I'm stressing my teacher out so I'm trying not to talk to her about it anymore. She insists she doesn't mind but I can tell that the stuff I talk to her about distresses her.

    Well, I had my first one on Friday which was when I started on these pills so I'm guessing it's down to them, or could just be a coincidence, I don't know. I'm not too bothered by them, I just hate waking up even more triggered than I usually am and feeling the need to take razors to school and stuff.

    My God, I sound really ****** up, I know.
    Do you see a counsellor? And you're probably imagining it, a lot of teachers seem to talk through problems with pupils, so she's probably heard it before.

    Maybe speak to your GP if they continue?

    :hugs: You don't sound ****** up, most of my friends have had similar problems, it seems quite common, which is a shame.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Do you see a counsellor? And you're probably imagining it, a lot of teachers seem to talk through problems with pupils, so she's probably heard it before.

    Maybe speak to your GP if they continue?

    :hugs: You don't sound ****** up, most of my friends have had similar problems, it seems quite common, which is a shame.
    I don't see a counsellor, no. They've never worked for me. I honestly can't talk to a relative stranger about myself. The only person who I've ever opened up for is my teacher, and I'll have left school by May and then have nobody I know she's stressed out because she started crying once when I told her about some stuff (maybe that's because she had to literally physically take pills out of my hands but yeah...), I just feel like I shouldn't be her problem, and then I feel really guilty for lumping it on her. I realise I'm probably (well, I know I am) just ridiculously paranoid though.

    Can't speak to GP. Don't trust 'professionals'. I only use them for sleeping pills.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    i planned my spanish project about me spending the night with j-lo, haha! and i've got a few sources sorted out! So i felt this was enough and thereafter just laid in the sun on my bed

    This evening i went to meet old friends who i'd not seen since last summer! We went to pizza express and had pizza and then i made my way home arriving some 20 mins ago

    how was your day?
    :drool: Pizza Express...

    Spent most of the day crying. Think I'm getting worse again.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    I talk to my teacher instead of my friends now because I know my problems are far too much for them to be able to cope with, but then I even worry that I'm stressing my teacher out so I'm trying not to talk to her about it anymore. She insists she doesn't mind but I can tell that the stuff I talk to her about distresses her.

    Well, I had my first one on Friday which was when I started on these pills so I'm guessing it's down to them, or could just be a coincidence, I don't know. I'm not too bothered by them, I just hate waking up even more triggered than I usually am and feeling the need to take razors to school and stuff.

    My God, I sound really ****** up, I know.
    Hmmm I'm not an expert yet but maybe if you stopped taking them for a couple of nights and see if that affects your dreams.
    They say we always dream about what is subconsciouly on our minds before we go to bed. If I'm feeling :emo: I usually stick on some classical music to drown out the thoughts and have a cup of chamomlie tea. It might or might not work for you but its worth giving it a try right?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Hmmm I'm not an expert yet but maybe if you stopped taking them for a couple of nights and see if that affects your dreams.
    They say we always dream about what is subconsciouly on our minds before we go to bed. If I'm feeling :emo: I usually stick on some classical music to drown out the thoughts and have a cup of chamomlie tea. It might or might not work for you but its worth giving it a try right?
    If I don't take them then I don't have dreams full stop because I don't sleep :p: but thanks for your suggestion, I appreciate it. Will try to make myself happy before bed, think about bunnies or something...
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    I don't see a counsellor, no. They've never worked for me. I honestly can't talk to a relative stranger about myself. The only person who I've ever opened up for is my teacher, and I'll have left school by May and then have nobody I know she's stressed out because she started crying once when I told her about some stuff (maybe that's because she had to literally physically take pills out of my hands but yeah...), I just feel like I shouldn't be her problem, and then I feel really guilty for lumping it on her. I realise I'm probably (well, I know I am) just ridiculously paranoid though.

    Can't speak to GP. Don't trust 'professionals'. I only use them for sleeping pills.
    I know this is about my eating disorder, but I've never really trusted professionals either, but I just had to bite the bullet and see a counsellor. It took me quite a while to get used to it, but it's nice to have someone I can talk to and that I know won't be 'burdened' by it. Although I doubt that your teacher is.

    If those dreams continue, would you go back to your GP? Because it's not a nice side effects. :hugs:
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    If I don't take them then I don't have dreams full stop because I don't sleep :p: but thanks for your suggestion, I appreciate it. Will try to make myself happy before bed, think about bunnies or something...
    Ahh yeah of course lol.
    Well give the music and tea a shot and I hope things work out better for you.

    What makes it easier for you to talk to your teacher than to a counsellor?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Ahh yeah of course lol.
    Well give the music and tea a shot and I hope things work out better for you.

    What makes it easier for you to talk to your teacher than to a counsellor?
    I'm not really sure. The fact that I've built up my trust in her and she seems like she genuinely cares about me and not just because I'm another 'patient' on somebody's list. I don't know, it's just a connection I guess. She also used to have manic depression in her early 20s so she can relate too, I suppose.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    I'm not really sure. The fact that I've built up my trust in her and she seems like she genuinely cares about me and not just because I'm another 'patient' on somebody's list. I don't know, it's just a connection I guess. She also used to have manic depression in her early 20s so she can relate too, I suppose.
    Ah I see, its often easier to talk to someone who has experienced what you are going through isn't it? I had a teacher who I would go through from time to time about my issues because he too suffers from depression. At least you are talking to someone about it and she is trying to encourage you. Its nice to have that support, I feel I'm really missing out on that at the moment.

    Well I'm going to take a long hot shower now and try to clear my head. Hopefully things will look better in the morning for all of us.

    :hugs:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Hmm. Back in October the head of sixth form did have a 'chat' with me, I was on what became known amongst my friends as 'suicide watch'. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/rolleyes.gif

    I have so much work to do before tomorrow, but I honestly don't see the point.
    Eurgh, that's never fun - I remember when I was being constantly monitored in school cos of the anorexia, it felt really weird. Especially as I was still in denial about anything being wrong.

    I have had a completely demotivated day too... was so proud for getting up this morning but have achieved literally nothing productive all day. I've decided to blame the snow even though it's really my own fault. Surely your teachers won't be expecting you to have felt well enough to do it under the current circumstances?

    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    ..
    Congratulations on getting work done :hugs: I know what you mean about the panic happening both ways round with uni and home... it can get pretty confusing I worry about always being a mess as well - I mean I'm 22 and a postgrad and still having these issues - but in the end we have to believe that we can change the way we approach things, and by booking an appointment with the GP you'll be taking the first step

    -

    I am a bit concerned - I've developed a rash on my legs but have been ignoring it (I occasionally get the odd bit of eczema so I chalked it up to that) but it's getting really bad and if it's caused by the fluoxetine I'm supposed to come off it immediately - but I can't tell whether it is or not
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Eurgh, that's never fun - I remember when I was being constantly monitored in school cos of the anorexia, it felt really weird. Especially as I was still in denial about anything being wrong.

    I have had a completely demotivated day too... was so proud for getting up this morning but have achieved literally nothing productive all day. I've decided to blame the snow even though it's really my own fault. Surely your teachers won't be expecting you to have felt well enough to do it under the current circumstances?

    -

    I am a bit concerned - I've developed a rash on my legs but have been ignoring it (I occasionally get the odd bit of eczema so I chalked it up to that) but it's getting really bad and if it's caused by the fluoxetine I'm supposed to come off it immediately - but I can't tell whether it is or not
    Again, I'm unsure as to how one teacher will take it.

    Maybe try calling NHS Direct? They might not know, but it's better safe than sorry.

    -

    I'm pretty sure I now have the cleanest bathroom in Britain, but I still feel it's not clean enough to use. I need to find better coping methods.

    Still not looking forward to school, but I guess I can see my friends again and buy some chocolate, so maybe I'll be able to regain the weight I've lost in the past few weeks. :o:
 
 
 
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