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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Sorry to hear you've been having such a difficult time :hugs: Do you want to talk about it or would you rather not? Well done for getting help, sometimes that's the hardest thing to do. I've been on prozac for 6 weeks: I found it made me much worse for the first week or two while my body adjusted to it, then things started to even out more. It does seem to be helping but yeah drowsiness is a common side effect.

    Deciding when to take it is often a process of trial and error. Some people find it makes them tired and they sleep better if they take it at night; other people find they have to take it earlier because it disrupts their sleep and gives them nightmares... See what works best for you It's highly advisable to cut out alcohol while you're taking them, as the booze can counteract the effect and sometimes taking the two things together can make you feel really really bad. You're not supposed to take Ibuprofen or Nurofen while you're on fluoxetine, but I'm pretty sure you can take paracetamol.
    Thanks for this! Nah, it's cool, don't worry about it. But thanks! Mainly just because I reckon half the problem was a tendency to dwell on it, and nothing else, so now it's time to get back into gear.

    Okie dokie, I'll nix the booze and I'll bear that in mind

    Anyone a runner? I'm getting back to exercise and got out of bed at 8 for a run. Doesn't sound like something you want to do, but believe me, it sets you up for the day! And you'll sleep like a baby.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    ak school reunion
    i hate me my life and i ******* hate myself i cant do anything i want to do cos id feel like such a paranoid fraud ******* hate it im disgusting and i hate myself
    im going to my docs tomorrow but im not telling the reason for my depression as no one takes it seriously and realise how deeply its affected my life but yeah i shall hopefully be going as i dont have lessons till the afternoon but im going to be annoyed as its the fourth visit now.
    :hugs: Malsy don't be hard on yourself, maybe it is worth telling the doctor why you think you are depressed, its best to get to the root of the problem otherwise there is less chance of it going away. I'm sure they will take you seriously. If anything I'm the fraud because I have no reason to be depressed. To anyone else my life would look amazing and right now I think its the first time in a long time that things are working out for me ( minus the fact that I hate the course I'm studying at Uni). I've finally found friends who I can trust too which is all I've ever wanted but never been lucky with in the past. Maybe its all the stuff with the past which has caught up with me, I don't know.

    Just be honest with your doctor and hopefully they will know whats best for you. Its sad to hear you so distressed, you can and will make it :hugs:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs: Malsy don't be hard on yourself, maybe it is worth telling the doctor why you think you are depressed, its best to get to the root of the problem otherwise there is less chance of it going away. I'm sure they will take you seriously. If anything I'm the fraud because I have no reason to be depressed. To anyone else my life would look amazing and right now I think its the first time in a long time that things are working out for me ( minus the fact that I hate the course I'm studying at Uni). I've finally found friends who I can trust too which is all I've ever wanted but never been lucky with in the past. Maybe its all the stuff with the past which has caught up with me, I don't know.

    Just be honest with your doctor and hopefully they will know whats best for you. Its sad to hear you so distressed, you can and will make it :hugs:
    What year you in? I changed course after first year and went straight into second year of the new one, I enjoy it a hell of a lot more (that isn't to say I can actually do it) - and the two courses weren't even related in any way. If you hate it so much, why not change?
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    thank you rachel. i know youre all going to hate me for saying this but i didnt go to the docs today. nor did i go to school.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    What year you in? I changed course after first year and went straight into second year of the new one, I enjoy it a hell of a lot more (that isn't to say I can actually do it) - and the two courses weren't even related in any way. If you hate it so much, why not change?
    I'm in first year.
    I know the simplest and most logical thing to do would be to change courses but I feel I can't.
    I'm not really 100% sure as to what I'd do instead...well actually I know I want to study English Literature because I have such a burning passion for it and was good at it during A Level. Its just toture doing Pharmacy because I don't want to be a Pharmacist and I hate 80% of the course. I'm only doing it because I had so many arguments with my parents about it and they scared me into it. The whole "if you do English you will end up a teacher and even then you might not get a job, with pharmacy you walk straight into a job" they left out one tiny detail. You have to pass and get the degree first :laugh: which I doubt I will be able to do. I promised my parents that I would give it a try and see how the exams go but its like pulling teeth at the moment. And I'm so tired all the time I don't have the energy to go on, I'm just miserable.

    The only plus is that I've made some wonderful friends here and don't want to have to go through the whole painful process of making new ones.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    thank you rachel. i know youre all going to hate me for saying this but i didnt go to the docs today. nor did i go to school.
    :hugs: Just remember it's not the end of the world, you can always go some other time.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    thank you rachel. i know youre all going to hate me for saying this but i didnt go to the docs today. nor did i go to school.
    We don't hate you, obviously you didn't feel able/ready to go today. Is there a chance of rebooking an appointment when you feel more up to it. Don't to it because you have to do it but do it because you want to. It took me since last October to admit defeat and book an appointment yesterday. I've got mine on Thursday and to be honest I'm terrified but it has to be done I guess. :hugs:
    The more you run and hid from it the worse it will seem, I don't want to pressure you into seeing someone but if you feel that life is such a struggle for you at the moment then surely seeing someone is the best option.


    I'd better go now...3 hour lab this afternoon, I just don't want to do it anymore :cry: I'm fed up and oh so tired......
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    I think I feel safest at home but there is more peace/less arguments at Uni as I spend a lot of time on my own( isn't fun when I have to deal with aruguments at home)

    Yeah best to get it checked out if it doens't get any better.

    Oh gosh the insomnia is horrid. Worst thing about it is that I used to be such a heavy sleeper, I really used to enjoy sleeping but now even thats been taken away from me it seems.

    I'm trying hard to keep positive/rational about things but today I just kept thinking "cut, cut" and that it would be wonderful if I could overdose on sleeping pills. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...onal/frown.gif

    I don't want to socalise anymore, we have a ball coming up and I'm only going because my friend is and I don't want to regret not going when I feel better. I'm sick of my course, I feel so trapped, like I can't follow my dreams, I feel like I can't live my own life and if I'm living life for other people then what is the point in living at all? I can't stop seeing the negative about everything, even the simplest of things, I just expect the worse to happen, I don't hope for anything good anymore, I don't want to be disappointed or hurt anymore.
    Sorry to waffle, you probably don't need this right now.

    I've found the courage to book an appointment with the doctor for Thursday...kind of regret it now as I don't know who this new doctor is and I'm scared they will judge me. I don't feel comfortable sharing this with a professional...makes things vary final. I prefer "thinking" that I'm depressed/anxious, the idea of having it confirmed scares mehttp://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ilies/eek3.gif


    I know the simplest and most logical thing to do would be to change courses but I feel I can't.
    I'm not really 100% sure as to what I'd do instead...well actually I know I want to study English Literature because I have such a burning passion for it and was good at it during A Level. Its just toture doing Pharmacy because I don't want to be a Pharmacist and I hate 80% of the course. I'm only doing it because I had so many arguments with my parents about it and they scared me into it. The whole "if you do English you will end up a teacher and even then you might not get a job, with pharmacy you walk straight into a job" they left out one tiny detail. You have to pass and get the degree first http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...lies/laugh.gif which I doubt I will be able to do. I promised my parents that I would give it a try and see how the exams go but its like pulling teeth at the moment. And I'm so tired all the time I don't have the energy to go on, I'm just miserable.

    The only plus is that I've made some wonderful friends here and don't want to have to go through the whole painful process of making new ones.
    I really sympathise with you about the position you're in with your parents. Home always starts feeling safe to me when uni's getting scary/demanding, but then when I go back there I find the arguments and general craziness drives me up the wall. Believe me when I say I know it's the hardest thing in the world (I am still battling with it) but if you want to enjoy your life you have to break away from what your parents want and think. Use counselling to help confirm to yourself that you are your own person, and have to do what is good for you, not what is good for them. I went through a bizarre mixture of being mollycoddled by my parents and feeling like I was the adult (they never made me get a job or expected me to do anything for myself so I turned up at uni unable to cook, make a bed, use a map/bus timetable, etcetc - but on the other hand my dad's bipolar and my mum's depressive so they need a lot of emotional care sometimes). The great thing about uni is that you get to break away from that and learn to live on your own, which is hard but very rewarding. I'm so glad you have a great group of friends as that can make all the difference.

    Seriously, I know changing courses is a scary decision to contemplate but it could also be the one that turns your life around and makes you happy again: if you hate pharmacy that much, and there's something you DO want to do, you should really consider switching. If you have a "burning passion" for something, that's the best reason for spending 3 years studying it. English Literature is such a fun degree Sure it's not vocational, and I can understand your parents' worries, but it's an adaptable degree and it's not like you want to be a pharmacist anyway so you may as well enjoy the next 2 years at least My friend was doing Law and hated every minute, became miserable and depressed; switched to English and History and is now having a great time. I know it seems impossible to you right now but you deserve to be happy :hugs: I think it's great that you've made a GP appointment. It's scary anticipating it, but I bet you'll feel better for having gone, and if they can help you get back into a position where you feel in control of things (through counselling referrals or whatever), it will really help you to make these big decisions.

    I'm having the same problem socially - I think sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns and just force yourself out, otherwise regrets about missing things can just make you feel worse. Best of luck with it all. Hope you're feeling a bit better today :jumphug:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I've been doing a lot of crying for a while anyway. Nope, my Mum had a chat to me about 'What are these issues at school?', which even I'm not sure about, how she thinks I'm stressed not depressed and then my dad chipped in and said I need to either quite school now and go back in September or take a gap year before uni/seriously think about uni as he thinks I can't handle it. It's got nothing to do with stress, I don't know what it is caused by, but it's actually worse when I'm not stressed.
    It's somewhat frustrating when parents think they are better diagnosticians than doctors... but fairly common, my mum's exactly the same :rolleyes: In fact my mum diagnoses me as "lazy". (Still can't shake off the suspicion she may be right though). Well, the fact that you don't know what it's caused by probably suggests it could be the whole chemical inbalance thing, in which case once you've found the right medication it could sort the whole thing out, or that the counselling will eventually help you to get to the real root of the problem. Sometimes uni can be a really good place for finding these things out - there's free counselling of a reasonable standard, you're away from all the things and people that have surrounded you while you've been down in the past, and you have a new freedom to find out who you are, etc. It is worth thinking carefully about whether you're ready; sometimes you do need to take time out. But sometimes uni can really turn things around (it really helped me).
    I hope so, I'm thinking of not going to lessons this week (and trying to do some work) and then slowly building it up until I'm back attending all lessons. I'm going to try and do some work tomorrow (although I'm also taking my laptop in as I spent hours staring into space today because I didn't have the energy/concentration to do anything else.).
    That sounds like a really good plan, I hope it goes alright - and don't feel bad about the low concentration at the moment, it's great that you're going out and trying.

    Yeah it was nice to have someone who's been through it (although I do question whether or not I actually am depressed...). Yeah, supportive friends are good. Chocolate still tastes better than most things, just not as good as it used to...
    I question whether I am all the time too. The whole thing is just so confusing :confused: Cos I'm not always miserable, etc - sometimes I enjoy life.
    I'm not sure where I'd be without some of the friends I made at undergrad to be honest!
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    goodnight steffi dear thanks
    i have realised i am actually only going into school for my parents sake now and to please and quiet them up like
    :/
    :hugs:

    That's probably just because of how you're feeling right now, when things improve I'm sure you'll start to enjoy it again (based on your posts last year).

    I know you didn't go to your doctor's today, but please try to go at some point. It's a really hard first step, but after that things do start to improve. :console:

    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    It's somewhat frustrating when parents think they are better diagnosticians than doctors... but fairly common, my mum's exactly the same :rolleyes: In fact my mum diagnoses me as "lazy". (Still can't shake off the suspicion she may be right though). Well, the fact that you don't know what it's caused by probably suggests it could be the whole chemical inbalance thing, in which case once you've found the right medication it could sort the whole thing out, or that the counselling will eventually help you to get to the real root of the problem. Sometimes uni can be a really good place for finding these things out - there's free counselling of a reasonable standard, you're away from all the things and people that have surrounded you while you've been down in the past, and you have a new freedom to find out who you are, etc. It is worth thinking carefully about whether you're ready; sometimes you do need to take time out. But sometimes uni can really turn things around (it really helped me).
    Yeah, parents do seem to think that and I hope I can get to the root of the problem if there is one! I know a year out would make things worse, I couldn't bear it. However, I'm going to go and talk to the head of sixth form tomorrow and ask to if I can come back and resit the year next year if I fail my exams/don't get into uni this time round (which seems quite likely right now). I don't mind doing that, but a full year out of education right now doesn't sound nice.

    That sounds like a really good plan, I hope it goes alright - and don't feel bad about the low concentration at the moment, it's great that you're going out and trying.
    Apparently the teacher I was worried about was quite angry I wasn't there yesterday, but I just can't handle lessons right now. I think I'm reaching a point where I could maybe do a little work, but my concentration hasn't improved at all and I'm so tired.

    I question whether I am all the time too. The whole thing is just so confusing :confused: Cos I'm not always miserable, etc - sometimes I enjoy life.
    I'm not sure where I'd be without some of the friends I made at undergrad to be honest!
    I think we have to trust those around us, rather than ourselves. It's good that you can sometimes enjoy life, right now I can sort of enjoy it, but it's tainted by the stuff in my head. Hopefully these meds will work though!

    -

    Bad day for me today, I didn't have an appointment to see the counsellor and I really want to, I almost burst into tears because of that... Hopefully I will tomorrow... I kept it together (not a single tear!) because a friend is going through something similar, and I was trying to help him a bit, not sure if it worked though. :unsure:

    I spent a stupid amount of money on chocolate though... And I've only eaten one bar, but have lots for later on. I also bought some sleeping pills and hair dye. The pharmacist thankfully helped me pick them based on the antidepressants I'm on (otherwise I'd have picked any old one up). And I would say I'm trying to treat myself by dying my hair but the truth is, this is what I do when I'm trying to fix things, like the hair dye can make me any happier... Oh well, it's a pretty colour, a gay friend who can carry anything off chose it, so stereotypically, it should suit me!

    Oh, and I'm really worried about tomorrow, as we're meant to have tutorial. I can't sit through it, but I also can't sit in the library like I normally would, so I'm going to have to hope I can sit in the room I normally meet my friends in and just stare into space for an hour...
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    Hi, my name is Jo and I've had depression for a couple of years now and am with the early invervention team for 6 months cos apparently I'm at high risk of developing psychosis (though I'm not experiencing anything like that atm).
    Anyway, lately I've been going downhill again and I was just wondering, have any of you ever had a stay in a psychiatric ward for your depression? I think I would feel safer there but I don't want to bring it up with my keyworker.
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    (Original post by Fail Whale)
    Hi, my name is Jo and I've had depression for a couple of years now and am with the early invervention team for 6 months cos apparently I'm at high risk of developing psychosis (though I'm not experiencing anything like that atm).
    Anyway, lately I've been going downhill again and I was just wondering, have any of you ever had a stay in a psychiatric ward for your depression? I think I would feel safer there but I don't want to bring it up with my keyworker.
    :hugs: I was only diagnosed with depression 2 weeks ago, so can't offer any advice, but good luck with all of it!

    -

    Has anyone else had toothache in the molars whilst on antidepressants? Haha, I might just be clenching my jaw when I'm sleeping, but I don't think I am and it's quite painful to eat now.
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    i shouldn't of gone to class it was ******* awful. an hour of constantly being told to cut over and over there was blood on everything people were saying horrible things no way in hell i'm going again. :cry:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    i shouldn't of gone to class it was ******* awful. an hour of constantly being told to cut over and over there was blood on everything people were saying horrible things no way in hell i'm going again. :cry:
    :hugs: That sounds awful! :console:
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    it's just so hard cos it's not like i DON'T WANT TO GO OUT i actually do want to it's that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT so this conflict/turmoil is so hard to deal with every fricking day
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    it's just so hard cos it's not like i DON'T WANT TO GO OUT i actually do want to it's that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT so this conflict/turmoil is so hard to deal with every fricking day
    :hugs: It's hard I know, but it starts to get easier if you just force yourself to go to school/whatever once. :jumphug:
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    but i can't? :sigh: sorry but yeah...:/
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    but i can't? :sigh: sorry but yeah...:/
    I know, it's horrible. I've only managed it because my parents forced me to and I'm glad they did, as my friends have been more supportive than I ever could imagine. Maybe try first going for a walk outside, somewhere where you think you won't meet many people? That way, you know that you're okay leaving the house and can slowly build it up.

    -

    Why the hell do I think hair dye will solve all my problems? I really hope I don't have an allergic reaction to this, so stupid to not do the allergy test first but rational thinking, especially about things like that are just not happening today. More worrying is that I seriously considered starting smoking today, :lolwut: which was really strange.
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    Crap, my counsellor is going to think I've gone all emo - my hair is black not bloody bitter-sweet chocolate Oh well...

    I've discovered that I'm quite happy in the shower, it's just getting there when I feel like this... Also, there will be tears about the hair later on today. Ahhh. How is everyone today?
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    :hugs: steffi. how has your day been?> im yet to go back to school and everyone hates me and i cba explaining myself to anyone anymore
    missed a mock exam too now, twice
 
 
 
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