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    (Original post by superwolf)
    ...Or not go to bed til after 5am.
    :nah: I love sleep too much.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i just cant seem to get over the person ive become. i cant get over it. i am in utter turmoil with myself. you have no idea.
    :console:

    You'll be the person you want to be soon enough, don't beat yourself up so much.

    -

    I did get to sleep and I don't feel really tired, but I'm still more tired than I should be. Keeping BBC News on all night helped.

    I feel like such a fraud taking this time off school... Okay, I don't feel great, but... And on the flip side I know I really can't handle classes any more. Doesn't stop me feeling like a fraud though.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :console:

    You'll be the person you want to be soon enough, don't beat yourself up so much.

    -

    I did get to sleep and I don't feel really tired, but I'm still more tired than I should be. Keeping BBC News on all night helped.

    I feel like such a fraud taking this time off school... Okay, I don't feel great, but... And on the flip side I know I really can't handle classes any more. Doesn't stop me feeling like a fraud though.
    Hehe, I do that all the time, the glow of the TV's strangely comforting...that and I just can't be bothered to get out of bed to turn it off :o:

    Don't feel like a fraud for not going in, like you said, you're genuinely not well and feel like you can't cope right now, so don't beat yourself up about it. Do your school/college have an authorised absence scheme where people with exentuating circumstances study at home? Maybe that would be better for you? PM me if you want to chat about it, I'm going through something similar atm :console:
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    Well this is it...I have my doctors appointment later on today very scared...don't know what to say/expect.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Well this is it...I have my doctors appointment later on today very scared...don't know what to say/expect.
    Good luck. :hugs: Let us know how it goes.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Good luck. :hugs: Let us know how it goes.
    Thanks, I will :hugs:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Yeah well I still don't see my self the way everyone does in terms of weight. I wanted to borrow some leggins from my flat mate who, to me has the perfect body, and I asked what size they were and she said a 10 and I wasn't sure I would fit into them. But then my flat mate said that I think I'm bigger than I am because there is no way I'm bigger than a 10....
    I still get the moment of weakness where I feel maybe I should skip a meal etc but its not as bad as it used to be.

    Well when I was 13 no one but my parents noticed. As my school uniform was baggy no one noticed at school, mum noticed my small portions and obsessive exercising when I was getting thinner and she wasn't too happy with it all.
    Also when I was younger...about 5yrs I had one of the worst childminders who used to tease me about how slow I ate that that I would have to finish my food otherwise it would be a waste. Maybe thats where the pressure arose from to finish everything on my plate. Like you I dont want to give off the impression that I don't enjoy peoples food, I'm just normally not a big eater.

    I'm not too bad today thanks. Only got 2hrs sleep as I was spending most of the time finishing off coursework but its done now and handed in so I had a bit of a nap Feels good to be rid of it finally,but we have another lot. Today I'm just relaxing though. I'm a bit nervous about my doctors appointment tomorrow, I'm a bit lost on what to say.
    Yeah nor do I, I'm not sure how to get rid of the body dysmorphia aspect, and it does sound like you still suffer from that Maybe ask the GP for advice on that one?

    Sounds like you have past experiences that will be feeding into it then [excuse the rubbish pun, I literally couldn't think of another way of putting it :rolleyes: ], especially with the childminder. Do you have problems with being assertive? I really do and that has tied into a lot of these issues for me.

    Congratulations on finishing the coursework, that's great Hope you sleep better tonight. Good luck with the doctor - once you've said a few things they should ask leading questions, you'll be fine :hugs: Maybe make a few notes of things you want to remember to mention before you go, and make sure they refer you to someone helpful Let us know how it goes

    -

    Bad, bad night - and day. I keep thinking I've changed only to find I'm kidding myself
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    Body dysmorphia is a horrid thing to have and it can take a while to escape those damaging mind-sets. But it is possible. I used to be obsessed with weight but I managed to get better. I say it as though it was an easy thing but it wasn't. I don't think I would have recovered if medication hadn't been involved. I was prescribed medication for depression but it hit two birds with one stone (anorexia and depression, respectively). Though I do not know if I will ever be completely cured of the latter, I am hopeful I can, with medication and the benefit of hindsight, avoid developing an eating disorder again.

    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    .
    I see you're at York; I am, too. How are you finding it so far?
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    Lately I've had really bad days where I just feel like life is too hard for me and that I'm heading nowhere, and then the next day I'm fine and carefree, not worrying much about anything. It's frustrating to be literally in two minds about my life. People don't take me seriously about things anymore because of it.

    I don't know what I'm doing for university, and the stress is ruining me. I'm frozen with anxiety and for the most part I've been trying to bury my head under the sand and escape into films, books, music and cartoons just to forget I even have a problem!
    But now the clock's ticking and I need to make a decision but I'm just so stupidly worried, like my decision for a course at university will definitely alter my future - which it won't! I want to be a singer in a touring band, but I want to go to university and study something academic at least. I can't take music because I didn't do it for GCSE or A level because my dad wouldn't let me. He's messed up my life a lot, and now I'm just this emotional wreck who doesn't really know what path to take anymore.

    I've applied for Psychology, but I now know that as much as I'd like to be good at it, it would make me feel even worse. It's hypocritical when I don't even feel mentally stable myself!

    Worst thing is, I know it's all in my head. But even acknowledging that doesn't stop it from worrying me 24/7, keeping me from sleeping at night. I don't have anyone to talk with, because my parents don't take my emotions seriously at all, and I have two younger brothers who wouldn't understand... my friends are already at university with their own problems and I rarely speak to them anymore because I'm holing myself up at home due to my feeling so crap. I told my doctor that I've been having these depressive and anxiety problems since I was thirteen but she dismissed it and told me that it's normal for a girl of my age. Sigh. Sometimes I just feel really FUBAR, y'know.
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    I take it back about the zopiclone being a miracle cure... Last night I alternated between night terrors and vivid nightmares - except they weren't really nightmares, even though they felt like it, because I was awake. Maybe it's because I took the tablet an hour and a half before actually going to bed, I don't know. But I ended up missing counselling this morning, only just got out of bed and feel really awful
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I take it back about the zopiclone being a miracle cure... Last night I alternated between night terrors and vivid nightmares - except they weren't really nightmares, even though they felt like it, because I was awake. Maybe it's because I took the tablet an hour and a half before actually going to bed, I don't know. But I ended up missing counselling this morning, only just got out of bed and feel really awful
    :hugs: Sorry you're feeling so ****. I'm pretty sure with zopiclone you are only supposed to take it just before you go to bed so that things like that don't happen. So maybe if you just avoid doing the same thing again it'll be alright.

    I hate that half-awake half-asleep feeling. I seem to spend a few hours every morning drifting along like that, til eventually my dreams get bad enough I decide to properly wake up.
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I take it back about the zopiclone being a miracle cure... Last night I alternated between night terrors and vivid nightmares - except they weren't really nightmares, even though they felt like it, because I was awake. Maybe it's because I took the tablet an hour and a half before actually going to bed, I don't know. But I ended up missing counselling this morning, only just got out of bed and feel really awful
    Superwolf is right, you take it just before bed. For me it takes about 20-30minutes, I was always told by doctors to get into bed right after taking it because if you fight it at all you get bad dreams etc


    Another day spent hiding in bed.
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    does anyone know how long it takes to see anyone through CBT?
    doctor told me she was putting my name down as the list was usually shorter then counseling, but from what I've heard it can take ages for them to even get back to you!??
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Superwolf is right, you take it just before bed. For me it takes about 20-30minutes, I was always told by doctors to get into bed right after taking it because if you fight it at all you get bad dreams etc


    Another day spent hiding in bed.
    :jumphug: Sometimes bed is just the best place to be.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ilies/hugs.gif Sorry you're feeling so ****. I'm pretty sure with zopiclone you are only supposed to take it just before you go to bed so that things like that don't happen. So maybe if you just avoid doing the same thing again it'll be alright.

    I hate that half-awake half-asleep feeling. I seem to spend a few hours every morning drifting along like that, til eventually my dreams get bad enough I decide to properly wake up.
    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Superwolf is right, you take it just before bed. For me it takes about 20-30minutes, I was always told by doctors to get into bed right after taking it because if you fight it at all you get bad dreams etc

    Another day spent hiding in bed. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...onal/frown.gif
    Thanks guys :hugs: It's a big relief to hear that it's probably just because I took it at the wrong time. The doctor didn't really tell me anything about it and I think I left the little info leaflet at home :o:

    I hate the half-awake half-asleep feeling too, especially as I'm always aware I should just get up but I can never make myself. I had the WORST half-awake nightmare of my life this morning, it was horrendous.

    I'm sorry you're having a hard day Sabertooth - I've spent a ridiculous amount of this month hiding in bed, but sometimes that's just where you need to be for a little while :jumphug:
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    (Original post by Emsybean)
    Hehe, I do that all the time, the glow of the TV's strangely comforting...that and I just can't be bothered to get out of bed to turn it off :o:

    Don't feel like a fraud for not going in, like you said, you're genuinely not well and feel like you can't cope right now, so don't beat yourself up about it. Do your school/college have an authorised absence scheme where people with exentuating circumstances study at home? Maybe that would be better for you? PM me if you want to chat about it, I'm going through something similar atm :console:
    Thanks. The glow definitely helps!

    Well I definitely wouldn't have survived in classes today, I had yet another breakdown, ugly tears etc... I just really wanted to die. Thankfully I have some amazing friends. Tomorrow my parents go to have a chat with my counsellor
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    all these uni scenarios keep going through my head. i just don';t know what to apply for or when to apply and what risks to take. aghh
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    Well that's another antidepressant down the drain. Just tried to go up town, made it as far as the train station before deciding that on the whole passing out in public would be a bad idea. Checked my pulse and it was almost 180 - not resting heartrate, but I'd been walking really slowly. No more sertraline for me. ********.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Well that's another antidepressant down the drain. Just tried to go up town, made it as far as the train station before deciding that on the whole passing out in public would be a bad idea. Checked my pulse and it was almost 180 - not resting heartrate, but I'd been walking really slowly. No more sertraline for me. ********.
    that is weird as ****. Still, if you can't find one that doesn't **** up your heart they might move you up the CBT list, which is apparently more effective for long term treatment of depression (though there are quite a few left).
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    that is weird as ****. Still, if you can't find one that doesn't **** up your heart they might move you up the CBT list, which is apparently more effective for long term treatment of depression (though there are quite a few left).
    Especially weird since they put me on sertraline because it's one of the few antidepressants which aren't supposed to **** with your heartrate (so there aren't actually that many others I can try). I also just checked my heartrate again and it's down to a completely normal 70. Bed really is the best place to be...

    Does anybody know anything about seratonin syndrome? I don't really fit that many of the symptoms, but it might still make sense.
 
 
 
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