I'm so sorry guys, but could I have a little bit of support/advice?
I really do feel like I'm losing it. Last night when I was in bed, I literally became paralysed. I was trying to get to sleep and then a bright light flashed in my eyes and it was from nowhere in my room. Then I felt like I could hear people talking (there was nobody else in) and then like somebody was taking the sheets off me. I know I probably sound really damn weird now, but it felt so real last night and I hadn't taken any drugs/alcohol and I wasn't overly tired. I was just paralysed and I don't know why.
I am so on the verge of doing something 'stupid' (as everybody else likes to call it). Locked myself in the toilets at school today for over 2 hours. If was after an 'emergency meeting' to decide what they're actually going to do with me. I can't smile, and I can't think positively.
I've got to have a medical examination for the ******* police this week and I despise the thought of it. It will do no good anyway. And my teacher, the only person who's ever supported me, has decided to start ignoring me.
I brought 2 packets of sleeping pills today. So, that's 40. It, according to somebody elses experience, only takes 20 to make you unconcious and need hospitalisation, so I'm sure 40 will do it. Trying so hard not to, but I don't know what else to do.