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    I feel like moaning. So... Physically I feel like **** - generally weak, nauseous, lightheaded. My friends currently have no interest in spending time with me. I started shaking even at the thought of leaving the house today. Depression only seems to get worse. I don't think I'll ever go back to uni. Meh, enough moaning.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I feel like moaning. So... Physically I feel like **** - generally weak, nauseous, lightheaded. My friends currently have no interest in spending time with me. I started shaking even at the thought of leaving the house today. Depression only seems to get worse. I don't think I'll ever go back to uni. Meh, enough moaning.
    :hugs: 'Moan' all you like, you need to get it off your chest. :yep: Things will improve, have you started on any new antidepressants recently? (My memory is awful and I'm too tired to go through the past few pages of this thread/am lazy).
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: 'Moan' all you like, you need to get it off your chest. :yep: Things will improve, have you started on any new antidepressants recently? (My memory is awful and I'm too tired to go through the past few pages of this thread/am lazy).
    Started sertraline on monday. But I have to stop taking it cos it's given me tachycardia and the last antidepressants I was on landed me in hospital for the same reason. Antidepressants were basically my only hope for getting better but they **** me up so much I don't know if I can keep taking them.
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    Why is everything so hard I just want to give up, but I can't - argh.

    How are people today?

    Superwolf, sorry the antidepressants have gone wrong again, that sucks :jumphug: Has the doctor/psychiatrist tried to work out why you have such violent physical reactions to them? Surely they should be investigating this so that they can find something that works? Don't convince yourself that antidepressants are the only way out though, CBT actually has a much higher success rate :hugs: Have you tried talking to the doctor and pointing out that you really need CBT asap, especially as the drugs just aren't working for you?
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    (Original post by Emsybean)
    I'm deciding between English Lang/Lit or English Lang, but I'll PM you when I've got a minute, thanks

    According to the Head of Humanities my results are too good to take any action (IMHO missing the point completely, I'm not happy there atm and feel that I'm not doing as well as I could if I were better ) so he thinks that I should finish off the year and if I don't do as well as I was hoping, then I'd do resits from September. But I want to change what course I want to do at uni, so I'd be studying part-time in both scenarios. My Politics teacher said she'd have a word with him to try and convince him that I can't cope doing 3 A2s atm, but I have a feeling it's going to drag on. If it does I'll just say I'll either do what I've suggested (finish off 2 A2s this year and finish the 3rd and take up an AS from September) or I'll drop out altogether. That should scare them into action lol http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif
    Hmm, yeah it can be really difficult to get them to take you seriously when your grades aren't bad and you're still reasonably compos mentis - which isn't very fair really as only you know how you feel Glad your Politics teacher is fighting your corner and hope she's successful. If not though, I think just threatening to drop out ought to be enough really: you could try going to the Head of Humanities (or someone else in a high up position who is more understanding) and saying "look, I'm REALLY in a bad place right now and feeling terrible about things - if I can't go part-time I honestly think I'm just going to have to drop out." Good luck :hugs:

    Hmm, well I'm a bit obsessed with the Literature side so would probably be inclined to say Lang/Lit - but I think it really depends on what texts you get to study. Do you know which course your college runs and which books you'd be reading? I didn't study English Language (wasn't offered at my college) but from what I gather Lang and Lit are very different courses once you get to A level. Everyone I know who did the combined course loved it though
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Why is everything so hard I just want to give up, but I can't - argh.

    How are people today?

    Superwolf, sorry the antidepressants have gone wrong again, that sucks :jumphug: Has the doctor/psychiatrist tried to work out why you have such violent physical reactions to them? Surely they should be investigating this so that they can find something that works? Don't convince yourself that antidepressants are the only way out though, CBT actually has a much higher success rate :hugs: Have you tried talking to the doctor and pointing out that you really need CBT asap, especially as the drugs just aren't working for you?
    What's up?

    Well I've got some weird thing going on with my heart anyway, the antidepressants just make it much worse. I'm getting a 24 hour monitor thing done in a couple of weeks, so that might show what the problem is. I suppose I should think about getting cbt, but I just don't believe anything's going to work.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Started sertraline on monday. But I have to stop taking it cos it's given me tachycardia and the last antidepressants I was on landed me in hospital for the same reason. Antidepressants were basically my only hope for getting better but they **** me up so much I don't know if I can keep taking them.
    That might be why you feel the depression is getting worse then, they can sometimes have that effect for the first few weeks according to all the leaflets I've read over the past few days.

    There will be one out there for you, just keep trying. :console:
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    Urgh, I feel so... I can barely even talk about how I feel, it's just non-words, a series of sounds. I'm so tired despite getting some sleep last night! I've also decided that I really want to take my exams this year, I can't stand another year at home. It won't be the end of the world, but it'll make for a couple of miserable months after results day. Actually, you know what? I don't know what I want. I know that earlier on today I was seriously contemplating suicide and I know I got through it and am now just tired and neutral, but I don't know anything else... Okay, I've been having a slight identity crisis today. Yeah, I just needed to rant haha.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    What's up?

    Well I've got some weird thing going on with my heart anyway, the antidepressants just make it much worse. I'm getting a 24 hour monitor thing done in a couple of weeks, so that might show what the problem is. I suppose I should think about getting cbt, but I just don't believe anything's going to work.
    I've just felt really ill and tired all afternoon, achieved nothing, missed my counselling appointment and found the job I was going to apply for isn't suited to me after all... Just feeling a bit rubbish.

    To be honest I can understand your feeling that way: most of the time I feel hopeless and that nothing will ever change, and I can only imagine that gets 10 times worse when you've been put on all these different antidepressants and had such bad reactions :hugs: But antidepressants are rarely a long term solution on their own anyway - I reckon most of us who are on them at the moment are still looking to some form of therapy as the long term solution. I think one of the reasons CBT's apparently so effective is cos it helps you combat the feelings that you can never change or get better. I really think it would be worth signing up for it - you never know.

    That said, I really hope the heart monitor thing reveals the source of the problem and that the doctors are able to find something that can help you in the meantime :hugs:
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Why is everything so hard I just want to give up, but I can't - argh.

    How are people today?

    Superwolf, sorry the antidepressants have gone wrong again, that sucks :jumphug: Has the doctor/psychiatrist tried to work out why you have such violent physical reactions to them? Surely they should be investigating this so that they can find something that works? Don't convince yourself that antidepressants are the only way out though, CBT actually has a much higher success rate :hugs: Have you tried talking to the doctor and pointing out that you really need CBT asap, especially as the drugs just aren't working for you?
    :hugs: Things will get easier, don't give up you can do it - whatever you need or want to do, you'll manage to do it eventually!
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    I had the crappest day since before xmas today . I think i'm spiralling backwards. I had an exam today which is worth 10% of the module for which i did like no revision - only 40 mins this morning . I make another lecturer angry by telling him i didn't understand what we had to do in the module and on top of that i've got a few spanish exams coming up which i'm destined to fail Also my grandma has been shouting all day and being sick doesn't help - life sucks.

    I wish uni would just end and life would start. :cry:
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I've just felt really ill and tired all afternoon, achieved nothing, missed my counselling appointment and found the job I was going to apply for isn't suited to me after all... Just feeling a bit rubbish.

    To be honest I can understand your feeling that way: most of the time I feel hopeless and that nothing will ever change, and I can only imagine that gets 10 times worse when you've been put on all these different antidepressants and had such bad reactions :hugs: But antidepressants are rarely a long term solution on their own anyway - I reckon most of us who are on them at the moment are still looking to some form of therapy as the long term solution. I think one of the reasons CBT's apparently so effective is cos it helps you combat the feelings that you can never change or get better. I really think it would be worth signing up for it - you never know.

    That said, I really hope the heart monitor thing reveals the source of the problem and that the doctors are able to find something that can help you in the meantime :hugs:
    :console: Sounds like you've had a pretty crap day.

    I'm sick of thinking about all this still, think I'll try and watch a film.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :console: Sounds like you've had a pretty crap day.

    I'm sick of thinking about all this still, think I'll try and watch a film.
    :hugs: Enjoy your film, I tend to watch The Mummy when I'm feeling crappy, but then I do get mesmerised by Arnold Vosloo's chest... :o: But it's been my favourite film for years and never fails to make me feel a bit better, so if you have a film like that, try that (or watch The Mummy if you never have haha).

    I think Imma put The Mummy on now!
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    I had the crappest day since before xmas today . I think i'm spiralling backwards. I had an exam today which is worth 10% of the module for which i did like no revision - only 40 mins this morning . I make another lecturer angry by telling him i didn't understand what we had to do in the module and on top of that i've got a few spanish exams coming up which i'm destined to fail Also my grandma has been shouting all day and being sick doesn't help - life sucks.

    I wish uni would just end and life would start. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...milies/cry.gif
    Sorry to hear that. 10% is a really small amount though, seriously - my friend actually just didn't do a presentation worth 10% of a module because it scared her, and she still got a 2:1 in that module. I'm sure you got through ok :console: Have you spoken to the lecturers about the fact you're having a rough time at the moment? You're not destined to fail, you can do it! Didn't you say there was a nice uni library you felt comfortable working in? Maybe you could try to make yourself go there to do some work. Sorry your grandma's not well Do you know what you want to do post-uni? If you hate it that much just hold onto the fact that it's not forever, it won't be that long before you can do what you want :hugs:

    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ilies/hugs.gif Things will get easier, don't give up you can do it - whatever you need or want to do, you'll manage to do it eventually!
    Thanks - I hope so... just been such a crappy day and I'm falling into old bad patterns again. Didn't get onto campus today, didn't even make counselling MUST. GO. IN. TOMORROW. How are you today?

    (Original post by Superwolf)
    ..
    Hope you find a good film to watch and feel better later :console:
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Yeah nor do I, I'm not sure how to get rid of the body dysmorphia aspect, and it does sound like you still suffer from that Maybe ask the GP for advice on that one?

    Sounds like you have past experiences that will be feeding into it then [excuse the rubbish pun, I literally couldn't think of another way of putting it :rolleyes: ], especially with the childminder. Do you have problems with being assertive? I really do and that has tied into a lot of these issues for me.

    Congratulations on finishing the coursework, that's great Hope you sleep better tonight. Good luck with the doctor - once you've said a few things they should ask leading questions, you'll be fine :hugs: Maybe make a few notes of things you want to remember to mention before you go, and make sure they refer you to someone helpful Let us know how it goes

    -

    Bad, bad night - and day. I keep thinking I've changed only to find I'm kidding myself
    Hi,

    yeah I have a problem with being assertive, mum's always going on about it lol. I had a lot of sleep last night for the first time in ages ( thanks to the lavander oil ) but I still feel really tired, it was so hard walking.
    Managed to see the GP today and he was so lovely which made things 10000000 times easier. It makes such a difference when you walk in and are greeted with a smile. He just took my BP asked me about my anxiety and whether I'd suffered from any episodes of depression/sadness/tearyness etc.
    I'm going for a blood test just to rule out anything physical but I've also put my name down for counselling. I'm so glad I've bitten the bullet and taken control of things.

    Whats made the day and night bad for you? I get that feeling a lot, where you think you've progressed but haven't. Don't worry its normal at least you show some signs of progression, its better than none at all. :hugs:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Enjoy your film, I tend to watch The Mummy when I'm feeling crappy, but then I do get mesmerised by Arnold Vosloo's chest... :o: But it's been my favourite film for years and never fails to make me feel a bit better, so if you have a film like that, try that (or watch The Mummy if you never have haha).

    I think Imma put The Mummy on now!
    Hey, I did it! I saw the doctor and he was really nice about everything. I was going to rep you buthave to wait 23 days until I rep you...who makes these rules?

    Thanks SO much for talking me into it. :jumphug:
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    ergh awful day, awful week. have hardly had any ******* peace all day, they just keep shouting to cut. now I'm hot and cold at the same time and keep getting random agonising pain (left thumb right now, knee 10mins ago), it hurts so ******* much, punishment for not doing what they say. I can't do this.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    ergh awful day, awful week. have hardly had any ******* peace all day, they just keep shouting to cut. now I'm hot and cold at the same time and keep getting random agonising pain (left thumb right now, knee 10mins ago), it hurts so ******* much, punishment for not doing what they say. I can't do this.
    :hugs:

    I was doing so well recently, been feeling fine, now I'm watching bloody Skins and I feel near suicidal again. Damn it. Haven't felt that one in a while.

    Got a driving lesson book for Wednesday, so nervous!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    ergh awful day, awful week. have hardly had any ******* peace all day, they just keep shouting to cut. now I'm hot and cold at the same time and keep getting random agonising pain (left thumb right now, knee 10mins ago), it hurts so ******* much, punishment for not doing what they say. I can't do this.
    roms r soooo goood - can't thank you enough for bringing that to my attention!
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Thanks - I hope so... just been such a crappy day and I'm falling into old bad patterns again. Didn't get onto campus today, didn't even make counselling MUST. GO. IN. TOMORROW. How are you today?
    Good luck with trying to go in, I find it helps if I just force myself into school (and I'm now getting close to being able to go to my lessons hopefully!). It does get easier each time you force yourself in.

    I'm... Probably on the verge of tears, but that's how it's been all week. It might just be the meeting my parents have with my school tonight about me On the plus side, my Mum's admitted I have depression, now for me to admit the same thing. :rolleyes:

    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Hey, I did it! I saw the doctor and he was really nice about everything. I was going to rep you buthave to wait 23 days until I rep you...who makes these rules?

    Thanks SO much for talking me into it. :jumphug:
    That's great! :jumphug:

    -

    I watched The Mummy Returns last night and didn't have to take a sleeping pill to get to sleep. I'm still really tired, but I think I may just have to watch those movies before going to sleep, what a chore. :rolleyes:
 
 
 
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