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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Everything is my fault. I can't do this ******* essay because I'm not trying hard enough. I'm not trying hard enough because I'm lazy. I got the articles I just need to read them, tried forcing myself to do it but can't understand a single ******* sentence. My brain is just doing this to get out of doing the work. It wants me to fail and I have to find a way to force it to do this work. I need to find a way but I can't think. Everything is too much and it's my fault for not doing it.
    It's not your fault at all. You're obviously trying really hard and it's not your fault if it's not working. Being so stressed about it probably isn't helping, maybe have a cup of tea or a shower or something to make you feel more calm and ready to work.
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    (Original post by starryeyed.)
    I really need some extensions for my work. My tutor knows all about my self harming, but it's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't understand, just how hard it is. but I would just feel like a complete fake if I did anyway. Theres people with 'real' problems, who genuinely need extensions, she knows about them, so why would she give extensions for my 'problems'.

    Yeah I guess so, after seeing the college counsellor I thought it was just me, like I was just stuck like this and I or no one else could help me. I'll think about finding a new one, maybe when i'm ready to again.

    How come medication isn't working? Have you talked it through with your GP, maybe change it?
    I always feel like a total fraud for getting extensions... but my obsessive perfectionism and stuff tends to just about override my guilt :rolleyes: I remember feeling so guilty and terrible when I found out that the other girl with a dissertation extension last year was battling with the fact her mother had cancer In the end, though, there are always people in much worse positions than you, but that doesn't make your problems any less real or change the fact that they're affecting you badly. If you need help, you should ask for it - tutors will be so much more understanding than you think. My tutor this year has helped me so much with extensions, etc and told me that a lot of students struggle with these kinds of issues and they are very sympathetic.

    I think the helplessness/hopelessness is part of the depression, and having a counsellor you don't get along with definitely doesn't help. But please don't give up - I hope you do end up feeling able to find a new counsellor you could get someone perfect this time and find it makes all the difference.

    I'm changing the medication but I'm worried about that too... the side effects can be so nasty!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Everything is my fault. I can't do this ******* essay because I'm not trying hard enough. I'm not trying hard enough because I'm lazy. I got the articles I just need to read them, tried forcing myself to do it but can't understand a single ******* sentence. My brain is just doing this to get out of doing the work. It wants me to fail and I have to find a way to force it to do this work. I need to find a way but I can't think. Everything is too much and it's my fault for not doing it.
    :hugs: It's not your fault. Sometimes our brains just seem to be our own worst enemies. It's probably partly the stress messing with your head - if you were a permanently lazy/generally unmotivated person you wouldn't've gotten as far as you have and you wouldn't get stressed about the work like this. Don't beat yourself up. Try to chill out tonight and go back to it refreshed tomorrow if you can.

    Sometimes it's just a bad day - I had one today too. I swear I get them more often on the days I take fluoxetine ... (taking it alternate days atm to come off it)
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    :hugs: It's not your fault. Sometimes our brains just seem to be our own worst enemies. It's probably partly the stress messing with your head - if you were a permanently lazy/generally unmotivated person you wouldn't've gotten as far as you have and you wouldn't get stressed about the work like this. Don't beat yourself up. Try to chill out tonight and go back to it refreshed tomorrow if you can.

    Sometimes it's just a bad day - I had one today too. I swear I get them more often on the days I take fluoxetine ... (taking it alternate days atm to come off it)
    You say that like I've been busy other times. :p: I've not been to any classes in quite a while (don't even remember how long...), nor done any work at all. Seeing some woman tomorrow who mentioned temporarily withdrawing in an email to me. ******* great.

    How long did you take fluoxetine for? Maybe it's a sign you should just stop taking it?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    You say that like I've been busy other times. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif I've not been to any classes in quite a while (don't even remember how long...), nor done any work at all. Seeing some woman tomorrow who mentioned temporarily withdrawing in an email to me. ******* great.

    How long did you take fluoxetine for? Maybe it's a sign you should just stop taking it?
    I'm sorry, I know it sucks when you can't work and they're trying to pressure you to take a leave of absence :hugs: What do you want to do? If you're anything like me actually you'll find that question really annoying, sorry... Personally I found the worst part = I don't actually want to leave, I just don't feel capable right now... If you feel that way you could try explaining it to them I guess? I told my tutor I thought I was better off here because a lot of my problems got triggered by going home, and then he was more understanding about it and just gave me another extension etc.

    7 weeks. Yeah I'm coming off it as I'm just not sure it's right for me. But apparently I have to take it every other day for a week, then nothing for a week, before I can transfer to citalopram. I'm not sure whether I'm going to take the citaprolam though cos I can't take another 2 weeks of side effects right now
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I'm sorry, I know it sucks when you can't work and they're trying to pressure you to take a leave of absence :hugs: What do you want to do? If you're anything like me actually you'll find that question really annoying, sorry... Personally I found the worst part = I don't actually want to leave, I just don't feel capable right now... If you feel that way you could try explaining it to them I guess? I told my tutor I thought I was better off here because a lot of my problems got triggered by going home, and then he was more understanding about it and just gave me another extension etc.

    7 weeks. Yeah I'm coming off it as I'm just not sure it's right for me. But apparently I have to take it every other day for a week, then nothing for a week, before I can transfer to citalopram. I'm not sure whether I'm going to take the citaprolam though cos I can't take another 2 weeks of side effects right now
    I don't want to leave. I want to get this ******* degree and get on with my life. I've been at uni so long and ****** it up so many times. I really hate being here now but I have so much debt I might as well get to the end. There's also the fact if I leave I have pretty much no where to go, neither of my parents anyway, so I'm kind of stuck. Right now though tbh there's no way I'm going to pass these exams unless there's some kind of miracle, that's not being pessimistic, just realistic. I'll just tell this woman tomorrow that I'll get a doctors note. Then **** around. Fail my exams. Leave. Move into a council house. Hang myself.

    Really? How odd. Whilst I took citalopram before fluoxetine, I simply stopped fluoxetine and had no problems. I think I started a new one just a couple of days later. Definitely no week break. Then again, nothing works for me so stick with the week break :p:
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    Ugh, went for a drive at 5.00am to clear my head because I couldn't sleep. I lost control a bit, went to fast didn't really know what I was thinking. Just wanted to go faster, and faster and not stop? I had to pull up and stop myself from doing anything stupid, had a bit of a break to calm down then went home, and just cried :| What the **** is wrong with me?
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    Just managed to narrowly avoid another trip to hospital. Was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's willing my heartrate to go down. And it worked. Managed to get away with just having an ECG and got given beta blockers. And I get to go another week without antidepressants while they try and figure out what's up with my heart.
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    Hey guys i need your advice,
    I have finally got an appointment with the student counsellour tomorrow! but can you please let me know like what happens in the first one, like do they ask you lots of questions or do they expect you to just start? im scared lol
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    (Original post by Summer_Lovin)
    Hey guys i need your advice,
    I have finally got an appointment with the student counsellour tomorrow! but can you please let me know like what happens in the first one, like do they ask you lots of questions or do they expect you to just start? im scared lol
    In my experience they ask you lots and lots and lots of questions in the first meeting. If you're shy and worried you won't know what to say, don't worry, they're used to it.

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    In my experience they ask you lots and lots and lots of questions in the first meeting. If you're shy and worried you won't know what to say, don't worry, they're used to it.

    Good luck.
    Ah thanks just worried i wont know what to say or be like 'i dont know' but if they are initiating at first thats good as i wouldnt know where to start!
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    I finally went for a walk today. I just felt so down that I couldn't face even sitting in my room, so I went off on a walk to nowhere in particular. It helped loads! I still don't feel great, but I feel a LOT better. Plus, I'm finally doing some form of exercise, like my parents want. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I finally went for a walk today. I just felt so down that I couldn't face even sitting in my room, so I went off on a walk to nowhere in particular. It helped loads! I still don't feel great, but I feel a LOT better. Plus, I'm finally doing some form of exercise, like my parents want. :rolleyes:
    Thats great
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    I havn't actually been on here in a while, I should use this society more often than just make my own thread, since most people don't take it seriously then.

    Anyway how is everyone?
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    Have just been discharged from hospital. Was in there for a week. I feel really weird being out.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Have just been discharged from hospital. Was in there for a week. I feel really weird being out.
    :hugs: That would explain why you haven't posted in a week. :o: Are you feeling better?

    -

    Haha, I love/hate my Mother sometimes, she's just given me one of her (many) pedometers... On the one hand, a good way to motivate me to shift my arse and get me some vitamin D outside. On the other, I had many at the height of my eating disorder. Oh well, hopefully 2010 will be an ED free year! She's also bugging me to go swimming, whilst I don't like the whole wearing practically nothing, I do like the chloriny-hair smell... Hmm, I am strangely hyper/happy. Oh, what fun I'll have trying to sleep tonight!

    I went to bed at 2am last night and woke up at 4:30am... I still don't feel tired haha, I've been quite hyperactive all day, apart from the whole feeling so low I didn't want to go home thing...

    Oh dear, I'm rambling. I'll shut up now. :p:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: That would explain why you haven't posted in a week. :o: Are you feeling better?
    Not really but I really hated it in there so lied to the assessment team that I was feeling better. It was horrible; was placed immediately on level 4 observations (no toilet or shower privacy ugh) and wasn't even allowed to sleep in clothes for the first few nights.

    Terrible experience. Will never ever admit my real feelings to any home treatment team ever again, all they do is section you!

    Have been started on mirtazapine. Anybody on/been on it?
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Not really but I really hated it in there so lied to the assessment team that I was feeling better. It was horrible; was placed immediately on level 4 observations (no toilet or shower privacy ugh) and wasn't even allowed to sleep in clothes for the first few nights.

    Terrible experience. Will never ever admit my real feelings to any home treatment team ever again, all they do is section you!

    Have been started on mirtazapine. Anybody on/been on it?
    :console: Sounds horrible. Good thing you managed to get out pretty quick.

    I was on mirtazapine for a few months. While it didn't make me feel any better, it's the only antidepressant I haven't had ****** side-effects on. Expect to sleep like a log after taking it, and you might get some interesting dreams.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Not really but I really hated it in there so lied to the assessment team that I was feeling better. It was horrible; was placed immediately on level 4 observations (no toilet or shower privacy ugh) and wasn't even allowed to sleep in clothes for the first few nights.

    Terrible experience. Will never ever admit my real feelings to any home treatment team ever again, all they do is section you!

    Have been started on mirtazapine. Anybody on/been on it?
    :console: That sounds horrible. I really hope that you find something that works for you!
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Not really but I really hated it in there so lied to the assessment team that I was feeling better. It was horrible; was placed immediately on level 4 observations (no toilet or shower privacy ugh) and wasn't even allowed to sleep in clothes for the first few nights.

    Terrible experience. Will never ever admit my real feelings to any home treatment team ever again, all they do is section you!

    Have been started on mirtazapine. Anybody on/been on it?
    argh that sounds horrible. Poor you. :console:

    I've been on mirtazapine almost a year. Superwolf is right, you sleep like a log when you first start it but this wears off after a while. Weirdly, it can cause insomnia at higher doses. Not too nice coming off of either but don't worry about that.
 
 
 
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