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    ******* nightmare this morning, it was horrible. Far worse than any I've had in a long time, and I suspect they'll only get more frequent as it gets closer to my Dads posting and the end of college. :sigh:

    I'm off to do a fitness DVD to try and shake the cobwebs from my brain... then some college work, then muffin making time :woo:
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    Got a doctors note to give to my uni about missing so many classes. It doesn't say depression and I'm quite upset and confused with what it says. Don't really want to give it to the department secretary but I'll get into **** for missing classes otherwise. No one explains anything to me, I don't really see why I bother anymore. Haven't written a single word since my essay update, my mind has stopped working completely and I can't get the extra 400 words.
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    Bloody hell, if any of you want to put on weight then get yourself prescribed some mertazapine. It's making me hungry/eat all the damn time. Home treatment coming around in a bit, because I'm officially only on 'overnight leave' because they couldn't make it to the hospital yesterday, so they'll assess me for discharge here later. I can't say anything to them though because my mom will be here and will be upset if I ask her to leave the room And I feel really unsafe again and want to tell them that... but can't.
    I know this is a bit late and all but maybe in future you could write a note in advance with all your feelings on to give to them? if you are worried about your mum hearing you or something?
    hope it went ok anyway :hugs:
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    URGH. Everything is... Urgh.
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    Wrote nearly half of my research investigation for Media in an hour and a half today, so proud of myself
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    God, I feel like such a bloody failure. I've done nothing today, or for weeks. I hate this, but the thought of going to lessons... Really hating myself right now. Also slightly stressed about results day tomorrow. Sometimes, I hate TSR for reminding me of these things... I shouldn't even be posting in here, I think it's fairly obvious I'm not really depressed.
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    I just caved. I cut for the first time in years. I was feeling so freaked out and low, and... Yeah it was stupid, but it's nothing that's going to scar...

    I'm still not feeling great (and now feel stupid and guilty for cutting and also very OCD about all that) but... I dunno, I'm guess I'm lucky to have a friend to talk to to calm me down.
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    :facepalm: At my crappy Philosophy result, which is way too shameful to post in the Exam Results Day thread. Seriously, why the **** do I bother? I thought I would do decently well, but now I see this is the hundredth time I've overestimated myself. I'm getting way close to giving up now :cry:
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    :facepalm: At my crappy Philosophy result, which is way too shameful to post in the Exam Results Day thread. Seriously, why the **** do I bother? I thought I would do decently well, but now I see this is the hundredth time I've overestimated myself. I'm getting way close to giving up now :cry:
    Can't be as bad as any of my AS/A level results...
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    Urgh, I'd forgotten how hard it is to hide self harm marks from people. Most people didn't comment, but friends who self harm and student support staff noticed and knew... Really regret doing it again, but there's nothing I can do now but look after it and hope that I don't do it again.

    To people who didn't do as well as they wanted today: :hugs: Try not to worry, you can resit and frankly, any grade when you're feeling like this is great!

    I did far, far better than I ever imagined I could. And you know what? I still feel like ****. But now I feel guilty and ****.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Can't be as bad as any of my AS/A level results...
    If you'd like to know, I got a U :zomg: . And I revised as well, and my answers were decent, I really don't know why I got so low. :sigh: At this rate I shan't bother trying Year 14, and I really don't know if/when I'll ever get to uni. Schoolwork is stressful, and then failing is stressful, it's a vicious cycle for me . It's even more bad since I used to always be in the top groups, but it's been downhill since starting sixth form. I'm so lost :cry:
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    If you'd like to know, I got a U :zomg: . And I revised as well, and my answers were decent, I really don't know why I got so low. :sigh: At this rate I shan't bother trying Year 14, and I really don't know if/when I'll ever get to uni. Schoolwork is stressful, and then failing is stressful, it's a vicious cycle for me . It's even more bad since I used to always be in the top groups, but it's been downhill since starting sixth form. I'm so lost :cry:
    :console: Don't pressure yourself so much, you're having a really rough time, your results are going to truly reflect your abilities. Are you see anyone about it/told the school what's going on? Also, do you know if your revision technique suited you, or if your exam technique was correct? Those little changes can make a huge difference. Also, examiners are evil anyway. :jumphug: Maybe request a photocopy of your paper for your teacher to check, there may have been a mistake.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Urgh, I'd forgotten how hard it is to hide self harm marks from people. Most people didn't comment, but friends who self harm and student support staff noticed and knew... Really regret doing it again, but there's nothing I can do now but look after it and hope that I don't do it again.

    To people who didn't do as well as they wanted today: :hugs: Try not to worry, you can resit and frankly, any grade when you're feeling like this is great!

    I did far, far better than I ever imagined I could. And you know what? I still feel like ****. But now I feel guilty and ****.
    Thanks for the :hugs:. U isn't really a grade though (that's what I got ), but thanks for the nice post anyway. Glad you did well though. Hope you cheer up, and try not to go back to the self harming.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Thanks for the :hugs:. U isn't really a grade though (that's what I got ), but thanks for the nice post anyway. Glad you did well though. Hope you cheer up, and try not to go back to the self harming.
    Well, you can improve and, if you need to, you can retake it in the year 14 as well. You need to try and focus on feeling better though, as after that the exam stuff will follow.

    And you :hugs:

    Haha, my moods are messed up. I thought if I did well I'd feel better and not 'depressed'. I was wrong. And I'm going to try not to - it's really hard to hide where I tend to do it and it still hurts now... A nice little reminder to not do it again.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :console: Don't pressure yourself so much, you're having a really rough time, your results are going to truly reflect your abilities. Are you see anyone about it/told the school what's going on? Also, do you know if your revision technique suited you, or if your exam technique was correct? Those little changes can make a huge difference. Also, examiners are evil anyway. :jumphug: Maybe request a photocopy of your paper for your teacher to check, there may have been a mistake.
    I haven't bothered telling school yet, maybe I should but I just wouldn't know where to start. Plus, I don't even have a proper diagnosis, since doctors and counsellors are kinda keeping me waiting in examining me. The only reason I'm sure I have depression, is that I have been feeling something wrong with me for ages, and I've read the symptoms on several different websites and several of them match mine. I guess I'm gonna have to pull myself together and get these things sorted properly, including bettering my revision technique.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I haven't bothered telling school yet, maybe I should but I just wouldn't know where to start. Plus, I don't even have a proper diagnosis, since doctors and counsellors are kinda keeping me waiting in examining me. The only reason I'm sure I have depression, is that I have been feeling something wrong with me for ages, and I've read the symptoms on several different websites and several of them match mine. I guess I'm gonna have to pull myself together and get these things sorted properly, including bettering my revision technique.

    Well telling your school how you feel may help, they're far more understanding then. Doctors can be so bloomin' annoying sometimes haha, they seem to be doing the same with me at the moment.

    Do you know what sort of learner you are (visual etc)? If not, just experiment whilst you have the time (and when you have the motivation!). Then you just need to match how you revise to that. I'm hugely visual and, well I don't think it's a type of learner, but competitive, so spider diagrams, mindmaps etc work well for me, along with Quizlet, as I try to bet my friends' scores. :p:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Well telling your school how you feel may help, they're far more understanding then. Doctors can be so bloomin' annoying sometimes haha, they seem to be doing the same with me at the moment.

    Do you know what sort of learner you are (visual etc)? If not, just experiment whilst you have the time (and when you have the motivation!). Then you just need to match how you revise to that. I'm hugely visual and, well I don't think it's a type of learner, but competitive, so spider diagrams, mindmaps etc work well for me, along with Quizlet, as I try to bet my friends' scores. :p:
    Thanks for the link, I will check that out :top:
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    If you'd like to know, I got a U :zomg: . And I revised as well, and my answers were decent, I really don't know why I got so low. :sigh: At this rate I shan't bother trying Year 14, and I really don't know if/when I'll ever get to uni. Schoolwork is stressful, and then failing is stressful, it's a vicious cycle for me . It's even more bad since I used to always be in the top groups, but it's been downhill since starting sixth form. I'm so lost :cry:
    Us happen :dontknow: I got a U in History, an E in Psychology and two Ds in my other subjects; the school was about to kick me out. I'd like to say I knuckled down and worked hard but even that didn't get through to me... I hope I can be a 'don't let it get in your way!' example to you. 'Cos despite the school telling me I was ****, me believing I was ****, and my results being ****, I still got into a very respectable uni (Kent) and even though I dropped out, I've managed to get again into a decent uni for a subject that I enjoy.

    If you need another 'results aren't everything' tale, I have two friends who didn't even bother taking their AS levels (unheard of at my Grammar school!) One went immediately into work in a bank, and now manages a branch - making her one of the youngest branch managers in the country - and the other is setting up his own home business after working in London for the last year and a half. Both of them are doing far better than me and both will probably end up earning far more than me! But education isn't everything. It's an essential part of our society up to a point, but here is where you can decide whether you want to keep persevering like me or you want to say no more for the time being and go and do what my friends did. Education is no longer a one time opportunity - I have friends on my college course who are older than my parents and I know a guy who did a degree in Physics at 62!

    Erhhh, sorry, essentially, just because you got a few bad results doesn't make the end of the world (even though it feels like it) :hugs: Evaluate your choices, and have a long think about what you want, not what everyone else wants you to do.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Us happen :dontknow: I got a U in History, an E in Psychology and two Ds in my other subjects; the school was about to kick me out. I'd like to say I knuckled down and worked hard but even that didn't get through to me... I hope I can be a 'don't let it get in your way!' example to you. 'Cos despite the school telling me I was ****, me believing I was ****, and my results being ****, I still got into a very respectable uni (Kent) and even though I dropped out, I've managed to get again into a decent uni for a subject that I enjoy.

    If you need another 'results aren't everything' tale, I have two friends who didn't even bother taking their AS levels (unheard of at my Grammar school!) One went immediately into work in a bank, and now manages a branch - making her one of the youngest branch managers in the country - and the other is setting up his own home business after working in London for the last year and a half. Both of them are doing far better than me and both will probably end up earning far more than me! But education isn't everything. It's an essential part of our society up to a point, but here is where you can decide whether you want to keep persevering like me or you want to say no more for the time being and go and do what my friends did. Education is no longer a one time opportunity - I have friends on my college course who are older than my parents and I know a guy who did a degree in Physics at 62!

    Erhhh, sorry, essentially, just because you got a few bad results doesn't make the end of the world (even though it feels like it) :hugs: Evaluate your choices, and have a long think about what you want, not what everyone else wants you to do.
    :hugs: Thanks for that speech. You know, I sometimes wonder whether doing A Levels and uni is worth it at all. It seems like so many people are going to uni these days, and then I've read here on TSR that degrees are losing their worth because of that, and they cost so much anyway leaving much debt. And I really don't feel cut out for uni at the moment, even though I'd been really looking forward to going since Year 12. Who knows, maybe I'll just abandon education for now and go travelling and/or get a job, and maybe work my way up to somewhere higher? This depression is making things difficult so maybe I just need the break? Then I guess I could always go back to learning if I wanted to. I'm really considering that at the mo. After all, people like Simon Cowell and Alan Sugar didn't even do any education after GCSE, and they're frigging millionaires (or billionaire? :unsure: Eh, I just know they're super rich)! :eek: Though, I just see for now what happens in time :o:
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    i am so low right now i just want to never ever ever have to face this world. ever. ever. again. ever
 
 
 
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