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    Hello depression society :hello:

    Right-o I've never posted on this thread before but basically for AAAAAGES (by ages I mean almost 3 years) I've been getting extremely severe moodswings... each "swing" lasts a few days or more I suppose... When I'm "up" I feel really good and my thoughts go really fast and I get super creative (I'm an artsy person anyways) and I feel alot more confident. Despite this I'm often a bit more, hmmm, irritable, perhaps, or prone to getting annoyed with others, although this doesn't happen often. I also don't need much sleep and have loads of energy. Despite this I'm also a bit more prone to making stupid mistakes I'll regret later! I guess you'd call this recklessness?
    Only then I "crash" really badly and get depressed (I use the word in the layman's sense of the word... what would my psychology teacher say!). I don't feel like getting out of bed, I randomly feel like crying alot, my concentration is poor(er than usual...) and I don't feel like eating anything... although I can get random cravings.
    So these mood cycles can last from a few hours to a week or more (with some "normal" in between) and it's having a really bad impact on my schoolwork, i.e. I used to be an A* student and now I'm at Bs, Cs, Ds... etc. It's especially effecting my art portfolio as my work goes from vibrant and imaginitive to dull and not very competant at all. I know my teachers notive the change in grade but I'm really finding it hard to cope... a lot of the time at school I'm putting on a brave face :o:

    Welllll that was a pleasant introduction, sorry if I've brought down the mood. If anyone has any suggestions on what I could do I'd love you forever

    xk
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    (Original post by TheGhostofODonahue)
    Hello depression society :hello:

    Right-o I've never posted on this thread before but basically for AAAAAGES (by ages I mean almost 3 years) I've been getting extremely severe moodswings... each "swing" lasts a few days or more I suppose... When I'm "up" I feel really good and my thoughts go really fast and I get super creative (I'm an artsy person anyways) and I feel alot more confident. Despite this I'm often a bit more, hmmm, irritable, perhaps, or prone to getting annoyed with others, although this doesn't happen often. I also don't need much sleep and have loads of energy. Despite this I'm also a bit more prone to making stupid mistakes I'll regret later! I guess you'd call this recklessness?
    Only then I "crash" really badly and get depressed (I use the word in the layman's sense of the word... what would my psychology teacher say!). I don't feel like getting out of bed, I randomly feel like crying alot, my concentration is poor(er than usual...) and I don't feel like eating anything... although I can get random cravings.
    So these mood cycles can last from a few hours to a week or more (with some "normal" in between) and it's having a really bad impact on my schoolwork, i.e. I used to be an A* student and now I'm at Bs, Cs, Ds... etc. It's especially effecting my art portfolio as my work goes from vibrant and imaginitive to dull and not very competant at all. I know my teachers notive the change in grade but I'm really finding it hard to cope... a lot of the time at school I'm putting on a brave face :o:

    Welllll that was a pleasant introduction, sorry if I've brought down the mood. If anyone has any suggestions on what I could do I'd love you forever

    xk
    Might be an idea to see your gp as that doesn't sound particularly normal.
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    I hate university so much. It is the biggest load of ******** ever! . I just want to fly away to some uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere with a solar powered ipod touch charger so i can listen to my music all day on the beach .....dreaming is bliss
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    (Original post by TheGhostofODonahue)
    Hello depression society :hello:

    Right-o I've never posted on this thread before but basically for AAAAAGES (by ages I mean almost 3 years) I've been getting extremely severe moodswings... each "swing" lasts a few days or more I suppose... When I'm "up" I feel really good and my thoughts go really fast and I get super creative (I'm an artsy person anyways) and I feel alot more confident. Despite this I'm often a bit more, hmmm, irritable, perhaps, or prone to getting annoyed with others, although this doesn't happen often. I also don't need much sleep and have loads of energy. Despite this I'm also a bit more prone to making stupid mistakes I'll regret later! I guess you'd call this recklessness?
    Only then I "crash" really badly and get depressed (I use the word in the layman's sense of the word... what would my psychology teacher say!). I don't feel like getting out of bed, I randomly feel like crying alot, my concentration is poor(er than usual...) and I don't feel like eating anything... although I can get random cravings.
    So these mood cycles can last from a few hours to a week or more (with some "normal" in between) and it's having a really bad impact on my schoolwork, i.e. I used to be an A* student and now I'm at Bs, Cs, Ds... etc. It's especially effecting my art portfolio as my work goes from vibrant and imaginitive to dull and not very competant at all. I know my teachers notive the change in grade but I'm really finding it hard to cope... a lot of the time at school I'm putting on a brave face :o:

    Welllll that was a pleasant introduction, sorry if I've brought down the mood. If anyone has any suggestions on what I could do I'd love you forever

    xk
    It sounds like you have bipolar disorder (manic depression). Try talking to your psychology teacher about your problem, maybe s/he can help. Talk to your school counsellor, phone up a helpline dedicated for people with psychological problems ('No Panic' is a good one), see a clinical psychologist (though it will be expensive) or talk to a psychiatrist who will probably advise you to take Lithium (mood stabiliser) which is quite effective. PM me if you need any help.
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    Feel really ****. I've lost count of how many weeks I haven't been to lectures for...3? maybe 4. argh. I gave in a doctor's note but I'm still pretty sure the uni isn't going to be happy about this. I already know I'm going to fail the exams but I don't want them to kick me out beforehand as I have no where to go. Everything is horrible, I hate this. I'm meant to be seeing a psychiatrist this week and really don't want to go. I don't like new people, I don't like talking to people and I don't want to tell him everything that's going on. I know I'm meant to but that doesn't make it easier. I don't see the point, he won't help, no one can. Don't even know why I'm ranting here seeing as apparently I don't have depression. :rolleyes: stupid doctors. :mad:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Feel really ****. I've lost count of how many weeks I haven't been to lectures for...3? maybe 4. argh. I gave in a doctor's note but I'm still pretty sure the uni isn't going to be happy about this. I already know I'm going to fail the exams but I don't want them to kick me out beforehand as I have no where to go. Everything is horrible, I hate this. I'm meant to be seeing a psychiatrist this week and really don't want to go. I don't like new people, I don't like talking to people and I don't want to tell him everything that's going on. I know I'm meant to but that doesn't make it easier. I don't see the point, he won't help, no one can. Don't even know why I'm ranting here seeing as apparently I don't have depression. :rolleyes: stupid doctors. :mad:
    Doctors can be idiots sometimes, insensitive idiots. :hugs: I haven't been to lessons since Wednesday 17th Feb... So I can understand, even if I'm not at uni.

    Try to go, this might be the one person you click with and things start to improve with, can you risk taking that chance?


    -

    Wow. Crap day. An old school friend's mum came round for dinner today and made me feel like ****. Sure, her daughter's in the grip of anorexia whilst I'm well on the path of recovery and she didn't do quite as well as me in these exams. But you know what? She beats me hands down. She does so much better than me in general (okay, this is academically).

    And then I hear about all the other people I went to primary school with - got into top unis, rowing for England, getting amazing grades, doing loads of volunteering.

    I suck at everything. I give up on everything. As a 'friend' said when I started rowing, 'You'll never keep it up, you quit everything.'. It's true. Okay, so I had to quit rowing for a while because of my ED, but it was one of the few things I felt that I could be good at... Obviously I'm not. I'm not even good in social situations, I'm awkward and loud and say the wrong thing and TBH can't see why everyone is friends with me... I bet I'm the type of 'friend' they ***** about how annoying they are when they leave the room TBPH.

    I have a load of other stuff to say too, but it's probably way too triggering for anyone with/recovering from an eating disorder, so I'll just stay quiet on that lot.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Doctors can be idiots sometimes, insensitive idiots. :hugs: I haven't been to lessons since Wednesday 17th Feb... So I can understand, even if I'm not at uni.

    Try to go, this might be the one person you click with and things start to improve with, can you risk taking that chance?


    -

    Wow. Crap day. An old school friend's mum came round for dinner today and made me feel like ****. Sure, her daughter's in the grip of anorexia whilst I'm well on the path of recovery and she didn't do quite as well as me in these exams. But you know what? She beats me hands down. She does so much better than me in general (okay, this is academically).

    And then I hear about all the other people I went to primary school with - got into top unis, rowing for England, getting amazing grades, doing loads of volunteering.

    I suck at everything. I give up on everything. As a 'friend' said when I started rowing, 'You'll never keep it up, you quit everything.'. It's true. Okay, so I had to quit rowing for a while because of my ED, but it was one of the few things I felt that I could be good at... Obviously I'm not. I'm not even good in social situations, I'm awkward and loud and say the wrong thing and TBH can't see why everyone is friends with me... I bet I'm the type of 'friend' they ***** about how annoying they are when they leave the room TBPH.

    I have a load of other stuff to say too, but it's probably way too triggering for anyone with/recovering from an eating disorder, so I'll just stay quiet on that lot.
    I have to go, my friend is forcing me to. Even though I really really do not want to see this "doctor". I googled him now I'm really worried about stuff I found about him. Can't go into it here.


    I know the feeling you talk about in the second part of your post. I just spent about an hour searching through people I knew at school and where they are in life now. So many have graduated, travelling, relationships, even marriage, and I feel like such a total loser, these people are all so much better than me I've achieved nothing. I think that's kind of what you were saying, if not sorry, kind of hard to concentrate and think.

    If you're over your eating disorder (dunno if you are, if not good luck) why don't you go rowing again?
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    Good morning everyone! Here's to a good day.:beer: :hugs:
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    Off to see my counsellor today, and don't really know what to say. The first session was easy, she asked me lots of questions. Last session was hard as she kept silent so I had to try and talk. Now I'm dreading today's session. Don't know what to say. But at least the sun is out!
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I give up on everything.
    Me too :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I have to go, my friend is forcing me to. Even though I really really do not want to see this "doctor". I googled him now I'm really worried about stuff I found about him. Can't go into it here.


    I know the feeling you talk about in the second part of your post. I just spent about an hour searching through people I knew at school and where they are in life now. So many have graduated, travelling, relationships, even marriage, and I feel like such a total loser, these people are all so much better than me I've achieved nothing. I think that's kind of what you were saying, if not sorry, kind of hard to concentrate and think.

    If you're over your eating disorder (dunno if you are, if not good luck) why don't you go rowing again?
    Google can throw up a load of bull, try to ignore it and walk in with the view that this could change how you feel, because it might just.

    That's exactly how I feel.

    I'm not over it yet, I certainly can't say that I'm 'recovered', I'm still recovering, so I have to be really careful. Also, I just don't see the point if I'm totally honest.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    Good morning everyone! Here's to a good day.:beer: :hugs:
    Beer, isn't it a bit early? :p: teehee
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    *knocks* Can I join or is it a solely exclusive club?

    I'm so utterly close to a mental breakdown now
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    (Original post by Ducklighter)
    *knocks* Can I join or is it a solely exclusive club?

    I'm so utterly close to a mental breakdown now
    Hi hun, welcome! Sorry to hear you're not doing well :hugs: Tell us about yourself
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    (Original post by Zebrastripes)
    Hi hun, welcome! Sorry to hear you're not doing well :hugs: Tell us about yourself
    Well, I had crazy manic depression in year 9 - 11 then I saw a counsellor, sorted myself out before going onto sixth form. Before then I was really bad, not eating SH pertty much every day.

    I've been trying to not think of negative thoughts for about 3 years. But recently I've heard my exam date for ICT coursework been pushed back 2 weeks so I have until this Friday to do my coursework. Also I handed in my work a tiny bit late last week 1 hour 15 minute late to be precise, and she hasn't marked it therefore I might now get kicked out of college. =/

    Really this is not going too well unfortunately.
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    (Original post by Ducklighter)
    Well, I had crazy manic depression in year 9 - 11 then I saw a counsellor, sorted myself out before going onto sixth form. Before then I was really bad, not eating SH pertty much every day.

    I've been trying to not think of negative thoughts for about 3 years. But recently I've heard my exam date for ICT coursework been pushed back 2 weeks so I have until this Friday to do my coursework. Also I handed in my work a tiny bit late last week 1 hour 15 minute late to be precise, and she hasn't marked it therefore I might now get kicked out of college. =/

    Really this is not going too well unfortunately.
    It's good that you sorted yourself out before college. But for now, I've found being honest with teachers/lecturers the best thing to do. Tell them you're struggling. I know its not the easiest thing to do, so I emailed my lecturers rather than face to face. For me, they've been very positive and eager to help me in anyway they can. Maybe if you talk to your teacher she'll mark it now. If you are worried that these negative thoughts will make you relapse, maybe its worth seeing a counsellor again so that you don't fall back into old habits and get some help before that could happen.
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    I feel like I'm in some sort of limbo right now - I don't have a counsellor to see any more and I feel guilty asking to talk to the student support person/whatever her job description actually is. There is no way that I can face lessons or life in general until I've had a chance to start talking to people about what's going on/to talk me into going to lessons.

    There's no point in saying I'll go to lessons tomorrow. We all know I won't. And so the work will continue to pile up, my courseworks will become even more overdue and I'll end up having a breakdown every day as I already do. At least watching Dollhouse is a good distraction, don't think I've thought about how I feel/felt anything but neutral for the past few hours until now, when I stopped watching it.
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    Sorry to keep posting.

    I feel worse than I have since I first went to my GP about the possibility of depression, I can't seem to control the tears any more. I really want to be the person I was before everything and focus on school, rather than skiving all the time.

    I can't break down in school in front of my friends any more, there are other people doing just that and they deserve the hugs. It's tough though, because I tend to be the one giving hugs at the moment, because other people don't notice when people are feeling down... I hate going to the loos to cry, where I can't really cry, but that's the only choice at the moment. Plus, the only people who notice when I'm crying are people I barely know and then they just make me feel awkward when they ask if I'm okay.
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    **** **** **** ****

    I've just agreed to go swimming with my mate tonight, how do I hide my SH scars?!
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Sorry to keep posting.

    I feel worse than I have since I first went to my GP about the possibility of depression, I can't seem to control the tears any more. I really want to be the person I was before everything and focus on school, rather than skiving all the time.

    I can't break down in school in front of my friends any more, there are other people doing just that and they deserve the hugs. It's tough though, because I tend to be the one giving hugs at the moment, because other people don't notice when people are feeling down... I hate going to the loos to cry, where I can't really cry, but that's the only choice at the moment. Plus, the only people who notice when I'm crying are people I barely know and then they just make me feel awkward when they ask if I'm okay.
    At least you had the ability to talk to someone about it.

    I haven't and I constantly keep telling myself there is nothing wrong with me and try to keep busy in order to forget my worries. Tried to tell my mum during new years and she just told me that there is nothing wrong with me.

    Most people are bad at recognising that other people are unhappy especially when they are unhappy themselves
 
 
 
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