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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Don't let people's bad experiences with them put you off - they can work.

    -

    I wasn't going to post today... Had a **** day, too tired to go over it/whatever. Nothing really happened TBH, just stuff I can barely remember. Gotta love a crappy memory.
    Talk about it, it's a good way to dewind. I find talking about it gets stuff off my chest and makes me feel a teeny weeny bit better. I too had a **** day - **** fortnight to be honest.
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    I'm a ******* mess. Just had a minor panic attack cos one of my housemates spoke to me through the door, apparently I can't even cope with that much human interaction. I still haven't sorted out going on benefits cos that would involve borrowing a phone and then actually calling the person, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow but I've got no idea what time... Can't even play computer games, I just keep dying. I hate how pathetic I've become, I never used to be like this, just scared of everything.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    Hello Saber, long time no type (me to you). How have you been keeping? I've got acekard to work but i'm too depressed to play even that .
    Hey blue shift. I've had to ban myself from playing tetris after getting tetris hallucinations :mmm: know what you mean though, it's hard to see the point in playing games. I have a 360 I haven't turned on in months. Other than that, total ****.

    Also know what you mean about the friends thing, but don't let it put you off going travelling. You'll meet so many people whilst you're travelling and I'm sure you'd have an awesome time even on your own. The way you've talked about it here makes it seem like you really want to go so don't let lack of a travelling partner put you off. Just do it and enjoy yourself.

    (Original post by Loz17)
    Sometimes it does so I pop to the shops or something like that.

    I don't, been thinking about seeing a counsellor just to talk about things really. Not sure though :erm:
    What have you got to lose from seeing a counsellor? I think it might be a good idea, if you don't get on with them never go back but at least you would have tried.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    Talk about it, it's a good way to dewind. I find talking about it gets stuff off my chest and makes me feel a teeny weeny bit better. I too had a **** day - **** fortnight to be honest.
    I don't see the point TBH. I'm too tired and have already 'spoken to' my doctor and someone in sixth form. Nothing's going to change for a few weeks now, and... Yeah.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I'm a ******* mess. Just had a minor panic attack cos one of my housemates spoke to me through the door, apparently I can't even cope with that much human interaction. I still haven't sorted out going on benefits cos that would involve borrowing a phone and then actually calling the person, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow but I've got no idea what time... Can't even play computer games, I just keep dying. I hate how pathetic I've become, I never used to be like this, just scared of everything.
    :hugs:

    You don't have like a cpn or anything (sorry you might have mentioned before but I've forgotten)? They should help you fill out the benefits thing if you're persistent. Citizen's advice people would too but you'd probably have to go to their offices for that. I think you can download the forms if you haven't got them.

    You could ask a housemate to call to find out the time for your doctor? Does mean talking to them though...
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Don't let people's bad experiences with them put you off - they can work.

    -

    I wasn't going to post today... Had a **** day, too tired to go over it/whatever. Nothing really happened TBH, just stuff I can barely remember. Gotta love a crappy memory.
    Let it out sweety if you'd like.

    Yea thats true. My main factor is lack of time, and everytime I try and see her shes always busy. I also left a contact number, and she never got back. Puts me off a bit :erm:

    Thanks Sab, I did see the quote
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    Let it out sweety if you'd like.

    Yea thats true. My main factor is lack of time, and everytime I try and see her shes always busy. I also left a contact number, and she never got back. Puts me off a bit :erm:

    Thanks Sab, I did see the quote
    Counsellors are very busy people, so she might have simply forgotten (they're human too!). Try again/ask someone in school (or wherever she is) to make an appointment for you. As for the lack of time, my counsellor used to try and make appointments for me in my frees/lunch etc, but TBH, it's more important than half an hour or so of a lesson you can get the notes for.

    I don't want to talk about it I think. I don't really know what I want at all right now. I do know that I've gained half a stone in about 3 weeks though. I hate comfort eating. It got to the point today where I cut up my card... Slightly regretting that as it's made life (well, paying my Dad back and buying tickets to parties I don't want to go to) damn near impossible.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :hugs:

    You don't have like a cpn or anything (sorry you might have mentioned before but I've forgotten)? They should help you fill out the benefits thing if you're persistent. Citizen's advice people would too but you'd probably have to go to their offices for that. I think you can download the forms if you haven't got them.

    You could ask a housemate to call to find out the time for your doctor? Does mean talking to them though...
    I've allegedly got a cpn, met her once a few weeks ago and haven't heard from her since. She told me to phone up someone from her office about the benefits thing, so I would be getting help but I have to phone the guy up myself. I just can't face talking to anyone though, I just want to stay in my room and pretend I don't exist.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Counsellors are very busy people, so she might have simply forgotten (they're human too!). Try again/ask someone in school (or wherever she is) to make an appointment for you. As for the lack of time, my counsellor used to try and make appointments for me in my frees/lunch etc, but TBH, it's more important than half an hour or so of a lesson you can get the notes for.

    I don't want to talk about it I think. I don't really know what I want at all right now. I do know that I've gained half a stone in about 3 weeks though. I hate comfort eating. It got to the point today where I cut up my card... Slightly regretting that as it's made life (well, paying my Dad back and buying tickets to parties I don't want to go to) damn near impossible.
    Yea I know shes busy, its more the lack of time tbh. I'm not in college a lot and when I'm not there I'm busy anyway. Might find one closer to home if I can :s

    Thats fine. And is that a good thing? Better than starving yourself I guess. Don't worry about the card, it can easily be replaced if needs be.
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    Yea I know shes busy, its more the lack of time tbh. I'm not in college a lot and when I'm not there I'm busy anyway. Might find one closer to home if I can :s

    Thats fine. And is that a good thing? Better than starving yourself I guess. Don't worry about the card, it can easily be replaced if needs be.
    Well it's worth a shot.

    I don't know... I've never weighed more than 10 stones before... It's just more 'food' for my eating disorder - I have eating disordered thoughts most days again. My BMI is perfectly healthy though, supposedly lower than I thought it was before I gained the weight...

    I just feel... I don't know. I do know that my measurements haven't changed, so it's not that bad, it's just what the EDed side of me makes of it.

    I know I can get another card, I'm just upset with myself that I felt that I couldn't control my (actually rather limited) spending. However, comfort eating on chocolate that I'm beginning to not like won't solve anything anyway.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Well it's worth a shot.

    I don't know... I've never weighed more than 10 stones before... It's just more 'food' for my eating disorder - I have eating disordered thoughts most days again. My BMI is perfectly healthy though, supposedly lower than I thought it was before I gained the weight...

    I just feel... I don't know. I do know that my measurements haven't changed, so it's not that bad, it's just what the EDed side of me makes of it.

    I know I can get another card, I'm just upset with myself that I felt that I couldn't control my (actually rather limited) spending. However, comfort eating on chocolate that I'm beginning to not like won't solve anything anyway.
    Yea I will do.

    I really hope you aren't having a massive relapse :sad: and luckily your measurements haven't changed so you should be ok. Its ok, its not your concious control believe it or not. It takes a long time to learn to control this from what I've read. Its never nice and I hope we all don;t have to suffer much longer :sad:

    :jumphug:
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    How are you all? Its been a while since I've been on here, only because I've been so preoccupied with this stupid course and the work load to even think about how I'm feeling.

    Things have been a bit rocky this week in terms of my self image. I just seem to repulse myself at the moment, both inside and out. Its never been this bad, when I came out of my room and saw my flat mates ( who I consider to be perfect) I actually felt physically sick, I could feel my breakfast coming back up because I wasn't like them. I just feel so isolated from the rest of my flat mates, something tells me that its because of the way I look and who I am that they don't want to know me. I feel so bored and fed up and tired, and I have 4 exams to revise for in two weeks, but have had about 4 pieces of coursework in the past 3 weeks! Its impossible. I'm just fed up o this routine. I want my life back and I want to start loving myself and letting people love me. I cant even take a blind leap of faith and trust someone to let them in because I keep thinking that they will leave me for someone better. I don't resent being single, the last thing I need is a relationship with all the crap going around in my head but I just feel happier when I'm with this person...I just feel that its not genuine and that it will come to an end like everything else good in life.

    I'll shut up now, I just needed to release a bit of steem. Oh and by the way blood test came back negative for underlying medical conditions which could trigger depression...looks like I'm going to have to sit tight and wait for some therapy then....I just want to get better now so I can get on with my life and let this person be a proper part my life before its too late....I'm fed up of running away but them I'm scared that if I do trust them that they will hurt me and then I will sink further into depression and end up doing something stupid...grrrrr life!!
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    Bah, I've been on 60mg/day of Citalopram for two months now and it's not working.

    Has anyone else had this problem? Do you know what I'll be put on next? Something stronger... hopefully.

    Hope you're all well!
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    I'm 21. I have acne. I'm balding. I've never had a girlfriend. I've never had sex. I have no friends; I'm failing university and dropping out as soon as my parents are back, so I can tell them. I've not been out socially since December 23rd, when I had a huge drunken rant at all my friends, alienating myself from them so much that they've stopped talking to me.

    Anxiety is getting too much to bear and I'm more depressed than ever. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and taking long walks just to try and make myself feel better, but it never works. I have little hope for my future, or the world for that matter. I plan on redoing my a-levels after intensive therapy, but even then, the chances of getting into university are even harder now, and with my past record (poor GCSEs, A-levels, quitting university), I'm not optimistic.

    Both my parents are dentists and my sister is attractive, happy and does well at school. I'll always be reminded that I'm the black sheep of the family and fail at everything I try. Every morning I wake up feeling physically sick, and that's when I'm at my lowest. Dragging myself out of bed is the hardest part, and most days I don't even bother.

    I don't feel this is biological depression, but situtional - the result of years of dissapointment, failure and rejection that has built up and destroyed my self-esteem. And the worse part is, there's no one to blame but myself, as I have no drug or alcohol addictions, no history of abuse, just years of bad choices and laziness.
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    :cry: I hate my life
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    So scared! :cry: I feel sick...
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    (Original post by Nothos)
    :cry: I hate my life
    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    So scared! :cry: I feel sick...
    :grouphugs: What's up?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :grouphugs: What's up?
    Me just being stupid. I can't cope with this, so much work, so much revision to do and I just don't know where my life is giong at the moment, I wish I was immune to all emotions I wish I could just rip my heart out, I'm too sensitive for my own good. I'm so confused about everything, I just have this lump in my throat when I think about things. Why can't things be simple, I'm fed up of ups and downs :cry:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Me just being stupid. I can't cope with this, so much work, so much revision to do and I just don't know where my life is giong at the moment, I wish I was immune to all emotions I wish I could just rip my heart out, I'm too sensitive for my own good. I'm so confused about everything, I just have this lump in my throat when I think about things. Why can't things be simple, I'm fed up of ups and downs :cry:
    :console: I know the feeling, like you just get overwhelmed by everything. I'm sensibly dealing with all my problems by ignoring them and hoping they go away. :o: Have you tried making a timetable so the revision seems more manageable? Try not to worry too much about the future, you can think about that when you have less immediate problems to cope with.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :console: I know the feeling, like you just get overwhelmed by everything. I'm sensibly dealing with all my problems by ignoring them and hoping they go away. :o: Have you tried making a timetable so the revision seems more manageable? Try not to worry too much about the future, you can think about that when you have less immediate problems to cope with.
    I think a timetable would be a good idea actually, I'm just fed up of it all at the moment though. You are right, ignoring feelings are the only way to get over things. I tend to blow things wayyyy out of proportion and get upset over the smallest of things, at least I'm learning to hold my tongue.

    How are you?
 
 
 
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