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    After having a few good days, I'm now starting to feel rubbish again. I just feel like a huge failure/waste of space/con/whatever. I have coursework to do, need to catch up on classwork and start revising but... I'm also annoyed and upset with myself for letting myself down in exams. GCSEs were below what I was predicted, but still okay and then I really messed up my A levels. Not only the studying for them, but also the subjects I chose. I really messed up there and limited what I can do now/in the next few years. But I'll mess that up even more this year, when I fail my A levels because I'm lazy.
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    I havn't posted in a while, how is everyone (quote me remember )
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    I havn't posted in a while, how is everyone (quote me remember )
    Hey MP, you alright? What you been up to?



    I should be happy right now but I'm not, I feel like **** and I'm scared like usual. Got an email telling me I got another ****** essay mark and my friend helped me today work out how many articles I need to read to get even a basic minimum understanding for exams. Way more than what's possible Add in a 5000 word essay too. I seriously just want to give up. Still can't think properly and my psychiatrist doesn't give a **** that I'm going to fail. I hate hate HATE this poison.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    After having a few good days, I'm now starting to feel rubbish again. I just feel like a huge failure/waste of space/con/whatever. I have coursework to do, need to catch up on classwork and start revising but... I'm also annoyed and upset with myself for letting myself down in exams. GCSEs were below what I was predicted, but still okay and then I really messed up my A levels. Not only the studying for them, but also the subjects I chose. I really messed up there and limited what I can do now/in the next few years. But I'll mess that up even more this year, when I fail my A levels because I'm lazy.
    I was gonna say this sounds pretty much like me. Then I looked at your GCSEs :zomg:. Those are amazing girl, I would have loved to get just one A*. And I was even in the top group that was expected to get all A* and As, yet I could only manage one A, despite all the revision I'd done :facepalm2:. I was really upset by that, I just have a string of B grades :sigh:. Oh well, it could be much worse, there are some people who can't even get the 5 A*s to Cs to get into doing A Levels (well, that's the policy at our school, I dunno about anywhere else). Trust me, to the average person at least, your GCSE and A Level grades are really good, be proud of what you have, you can't really go back and change them now anyway. And you still got this year to raise your A Level grades. I'm sure you can carry on doing well, you are obviously mega smart :hugs:
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    I havn't posted in a while, how is everyone (quote me remember )
    Hiya there, I'm feeling OK, thanks. I should be in school right now, but I felt too tired to get up on time this morning (late night on the computer, AGAIN, stupid me :mad: ). Man, I really need to discipline myself :sigh:. Oh well, it's only a Textiles lesson, which is a subject where we do mainly independent work anyway, so I'm not really missing much, as long as I'm working on my portfolio on time. If I'd tried to get up on time, I would have felt really crap in school anyway, so it's better just to chill at home a bit first. Hope you're feeling good mathperson .
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I was gonna say this sounds pretty much like me. Then I looked at your GCSEs :zomg:. Those are amazing girl, I would have loved to get just one A*. And I was even in the top group that was expected to get all A* and As, yet I could only manage one A, despite all the revision I'd done :facepalm2:. I was really upset by that, I just have a string of B grades :sigh:. Oh well, it could be much worse, there are some people who can't even get the 5 A*s to Cs to get into doing A Levels (well, that's the policy at our school, I dunno about anywhere else). Trust me, to the average person at least, your GCSE and A Level grades are really good, be proud of what you have, you can't really go back and change them now anyway. And you still got this year to raise your A Level grades. I'm sure you can carry on doing well, you are obviously mega smart :hugs:
    Aww thanks. I was supposed to get something like all A*s bar 2 or 3 As though, I just never worked hard enough and didn't find a way to revise that suited me until this January. Also, when I applied to unis, I had ACCC. I could've stopped so much stress by just working from day one. :erm:

    I find that taking subjects that you enjoy and finding a revision style that suits you can seriously improve your grade, so you may have just not found that method yet.

    Yeah, you need the same to get into my sixth form.

    -

    I'm going to go to lessons today I think... I only have 1 lesson (and another at the same time to pick the work up for), but given the report I just got about how I'm essentially skiving and haven't caught up (I've been photocopying!)... I'm not sure I want to go, but I have to face it sometime, tonsillitis or no tonsillitis
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    Good afternoon everyone.

    I'm feeling better today. I'm still not very productive and feeling lethargic but at least my mood is better! I'm still not talking to my dad though

    How are you all coping? Anything new? What's everyone doing this summer? My plans keep stalling!
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    Good afternoon everyone.

    I'm feeling better today. I'm still not very productive and feeling lethargic but at least my mood is better! I'm still not talking to my dad though

    How are you all coping? Anything new? What's everyone doing this summer? My plans keep stalling!
    Exams, coursework, exams, coursework, and then hopefully completing my driving learning. I've been quite lazy with that, but I want to pass eventually. Fingers crossed . Are you up to anything interesting, blueshift?
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    erghhh i feel like i can't go on like this anymore i'm just not cut out for life being the way i am. like, i thought, maybe one day i cud have a relationship, and then the emptiness would go away, but lately i realised i'm actually asexual, and so the probability of that becomes minute. i mean it was minute anyway, now it just becomes astronomically small. hardly anyone would agree to a non-sexual relationship, and there aren't exactly an abundance of asexuals around.

    asexual and autistic, it's just...horrible. i mean, i'm "lucky" in some ways, but i feel like i'll never be able to get rid of the loneliness and alienation and emptiness. i just shouldn't have been born :cry:
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    I went to lessons today. Okay, lesson. I only had one haha. I also finished my coursework and handed it in, so that's the bare minimum done for my history course. It's been a good few days I guess.

    :hugs: to everyone who needs them

    (Original post by lotsofsnails)
    erghhh i feel like i can't go on like this anymore i'm just not cut out for life being the way i am. like, i thought, maybe one day i cud have a relationship, and then the emptiness would go away, but lately i realised i'm actually asexual, and so the probability of that becomes minute. i mean it was minute anyway, now it just becomes astronomically small. hardly anyone would agree to a non-sexual relationship, and there aren't exactly an abundance of asexuals around.

    asexual and autistic, it's just...horrible. i mean, i'm "lucky" in some ways, but i feel like i'll never be able to get rid of the loneliness and alienation and emptiness. i just shouldn't have been born
    Someone out there will want to be with you, without sex so don't worry about that, it'll sort itself out and suddenly one day you'll realise that you're in a happy relationship. However, trying to make emptiness go away through a relationship won't work IMO, you have to work on that yourself and you can do it! You may need a little help, but you'll do it. :yep:
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Exams, coursework, exams, coursework, and then hopefully completing my driving learning. I've been quite lazy with that, but I want to pass eventually. Fingers crossed . Are you up to anything interesting, blueshift?
    No cherrycherryboomboom, i'm not. I sorted out my round the world itinerary today! I got a quote of £1564 . Can't wait! It's going to be so awesome!

    blueshift
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    Hey everyone not posted on here for ages.

    Recently I have been getting myself so busy so that I have no time to feel sad or depressed which is why I haven't posted in a while.

    This evening after being in such a high all day I know feel depressed and angry with myself, feeling that I have no purpose and that my life is just a big massive failure. Even more I hate myself for feeling this way
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Someone out there will want to be with you, without sex so don't worry about that, it'll sort itself out and suddenly one day you'll realise that you're in a happy relationship. However, trying to make emptiness go away through a relationship won't work IMO, you have to work on that yourself and you can do it! You may need a little help, but you'll do it. :yep:
    yeh i think you're right :o: i guess i have to try and work out how to be happy without one.
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    I just had an assessment thingy again. They offered to refer me, pills or do nothing. I chose do nothing. I really wanted to ask to be referred, but I just kept saying, 'I don't know'. I feel so... I don't know, but not great. I really don't want to feel like this anymore. Why do I always dumb down what's going on to professionals? I haven't even told anyone about my OCD yet, even though that's getting bad again. I really want to start getting help so that I can start to feel better, but I turned it down.
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    Can't do this

    I've got to get out of this house before I really hurt myself

    Cut again
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Can't do this

    I've got to get out of this house before I really hurt myself

    Cut again
    :hugs: Try to distract yourself, go for a walk somewhere safe or something

    -

    So had a pretty bad day after the assessment thingy (however it' sorted now - I love the staff at my school!) and then on the bus, I get spitballs thrown at me. Really, spitballs at 18?!? Wow, okay then... :lolwut:
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    Feeling low again I thought I'd gotten over this. At least to a point where i didnt feel like crying at every moment. Harmed again the other night.

    I went to the college councillor a couple of months ago, but it didnt really help. I had no idea what to expect, all she did was listen to me rant on, but to get an appointment with her i had to explain everything to 3 other people. I got fed up at talking about it by that point with nothing changing or helping me.

    Just kept myself busy and slept most of the time since then, stayed off college most days just so that i could be selfish and stay in bed/go to the beach where it was quiet. My attendance is around 40% now. Got so much coursework to catch up on, but i can get it done for the hand in date i think. So I'm trying to stay positive for that, but I still cant help feeling rubbish. I have a these thoughts like everyone is constantly judging me and its stupid. Just annoying paranoid thoughts not helping.

    I cant face doctors or anything. Does anyone think that herbal/alternative medicines work? Or are they just a load of rubbish? Ive got some from a while ago but I dont see how they can make a difference.

    Sorry for the rant :o:
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    (Original post by emmalou098)
    Feeling low again I thought I'd gotten over this. At least to a point where i didnt feel like crying at every moment. Harmed again the other night.

    I went to the college councillor a couple of months ago, but it didnt really help. I had no idea what to expect, all she did was listen to me rant on, but to get an appointment with her i had to explain everything to 3 other people. I got fed up at talking about it by that point with nothing changing or helping me.

    Just kept myself busy and slept most of the time since then, stayed off college most days just so that i could be selfish and stay in bed/go to the beach where it was quiet. My attendance is around 40% now. Got so much coursework to catch up on, but i can get it done for the hand in date i think. So I'm trying to stay positive for that, but I still cant help feeling rubbish. I have a these thoughts like everyone is constantly judging me and its stupid. Just annoying paranoid thoughts not helping.

    I cant face doctors or anything. Does anyone think that herbal/alternative medicines work? Or are they just a load of rubbish? Ive got some from a while ago but I dont see how they can make a difference.

    Sorry for the rant :o:
    Hey there, sorry to hear you're not doing so great right now.

    Re: herbal "medicines", there is some evidence that st john's wort has a better than placebo effect on mild to moderate depression so if you don't want to see a doctor then you could give that a try (note that you can't take it at the same time as an antidepressant so if you do eventually see a doctor stop taking it).

    You mind if I ask why don't you want to see a doctor? From your post it sounds like you've been feeling fairly crap for quite a while, 2 weeks is the minimum required for it to be recognised as clinical depression so if it's been going on that long and nothing has helped perhaps it would be an idea for you to see a doctor. If only because things can get worse and then it's even harder to get out of (not saying that'll happen, nor trying to scare you, just mentioning that it can).
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Hey there, sorry to hear you're not doing so great right now.

    Re: herbal "medicines", there is some evidence that st john's wort has a better than placebo effect on mild to moderate depression so if you don't want to see a doctor then you could give that a try (note that you can't take it at the same time as an antidepressant so if you do eventually see a doctor stop taking it).

    You mind if I ask why don't you want to see a doctor? From your post it sounds like you've been feeling fairly crap for quite a while, 2 weeks is the minimum required for it to be recognised as clinical depression so if it's been going on that long and nothing has helped perhaps it would be an idea for you to see a doctor. If only because things can get worse and then it's even harder to get out of (not saying that'll happen, nor trying to scare you, just mentioning that it can).
    Thanks

    Yeah I've been feeling like this for months now. I don't really want to see a doctor because, well i wouldnt know what to say to them, do i just tell them that i'm depressed and see what they say or give them a quick run through of everything that i'm feeling? I dont know
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    (Original post by emmalou098)
    Thanks

    Yeah I've been feeling like this for months now. I don't really want to see a doctor because, well i wouldnt know what to say to them, do i just tell them that i'm depressed and see what they say or give them a quick run through of everything that i'm feeling? I dont know
    I think what you just posted would be a good start. You mentioned several things which I would regard as important to tell to a doctor: feeling low, crying a lot, self harm, over sleeping, missing school, thoughts you're not good enough - all sounds a lot like depression.

    I know it can be difficult to know what to say so perhaps you could really think about it and write down everything you're feeling before you see a doctor that way you've got everything out and if you write a list you won't forget to mention anything when you actually do.

    However if you don't want to then don't, you could try the st john's wort first and see if it has any effect. Other things that might help are improving your diet to include more healthy things, exercising more, making sure you keep busy and don't sit dwelling on stuff, continuing to meet up with friends, try not to spend too long sleeping. A doctor would probably recommend most of these along side other stuff so perhaps try that first. But I'd really say make sure stuff doesn't get out of hand, I waited way too long before getting help and now it's a hell of a lot harder to feel any better.

    Whatever you do, good luck Hope I've been helpful.
 
 
 
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