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    i wish i were normal.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    yes it definitely doesnt help.


    GPs dont care about me school nurse did care but i seemed to run from their help as i feel no one can give me what i want ? but my mental health is ****** and im dying inside. mehh. erm. i feel so numb and as i said i cant break down now! everytime im on tsr too its like unis this unis that and i realise i need to sort out my future. its scary!
    :hugs: Just keep hassling your GP! Seriously, it's clear that something is up. As for the running from help, I do that too, maybe try writing things down before you go? You don't have to plan your future now! Loads of people are taking gap years, would that be of interest to you? It'd give you time to sort things out.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    GPs dont care about me school nurse did care but i seemed to run from their help as i feel no one can give me what i want ? but my mental health is ****** and im dying inside. mehh. erm. i feel so numb and as i said i cant break down now! everytime im on tsr too its like unis this unis that and i realise i need to sort out my future. its scary!
    Life can seem overwhelming at times but you've just got to keep going and eventually things will work themselves out

    What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
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    sadly my case is different. it aint that easy. im a lost lost cause. i hate life and life would be easier if i werent living it right now. if someone ended it. im am honestly lost.

    i have been suffering for 4 years now and its been mind numbing. to think im going to be 19 in one year kills me; ive wasted all my teenage years. i cant see any way out. i wish someone killed me right now as sadly i cant do it due to religious reasons. but im oh so tempted. i am abnormal and i ******* hate it. why cant i be normal like every other normal teenager?
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    sadly my case is different. it aint that easy. im a lost lost cause. i hate life and life would be easier if i werent living it right now. if someone ended it. im am honestly lost.

    i have been suffering for 4 years now and its been mind numbing. to think im going to be 19 in one year kills me; ive wasted all my teenage years. i cant see any way out. i wish someone killed me right now as sadly i cant do it due to religious reasons. but im oh so tempted. i am abnormal and i ******* hate it. why cant i be normal like every other normal teenager?
    :console: Please remember those religious beliefs and the effect your death would have on your friends and family because this will get better, you just need some help getting better.

    Just keep at your GPs, if you can get your parents/school involved (your school nurse/counsellor can send a letter to your GP if you agree to it).

    No teenager has a great time of being a teenager - we're all too full of hormones and learning etc. Forget what's happened in the past and focus on you now and if you can, the future. Things ARE going to get better, you are not a lost cause.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    sadly my case is different. it aint that easy. im a lost lost cause. i hate life and life would be easier if i werent living it right now. if someone ended it. im am honestly lost.

    i have been suffering for 4 years now and its been mind numbing. to think im going to be 19 in one year kills me; ive wasted all my teenage years. i cant see any way out. i wish someone killed me right now as sadly i cant do it due to religious reasons. but im oh so tempted. i am abnormal and i ******* hate it. why cant i be normal like every other normal teenager?
    You're not a lost cause and you're not abnormal. You're just a human being with issues, like everyone else. Sometimes I think life is pointless so why bother doing anything?

    But then I think **** it.. life is what we make of it. Never try to live up to anyone's expectations or compare your life to other people's. Just do what you want to do and make the most of the time you have.
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    I've been feeling kinda crap, really couldn't sleep after lying in bed for about an hour, so I gave up and came on the computer again. Damn, I addicted . I'm just gonna offload on here as that's what I feel like doing right now. I'm just listening to some calm soothing music at the moment though. Someone on TSR (I forgot who know, I'd like to find and +rep him) told me about Laura Marling, I really like this song by her called My Manic and I, though I think it might be about depression. I actually know quite a few depressing songs, though they don't really depress me as such, they're just lovely to listen to and compliment my moods.



    I really hope to get some school work done in this Easter break, as I haven't done any thus far. Motivation is lacking again , but since it's Tuesday today all the shops and libraries will be open again, so at least I have the option of going out, for some fresh air and a different environment.

    I'm sad about the other day, when I tried to do driving practice with my mum in a car park, but I could barely get the car moving properly, despite going through the instructions in the driving manual that I have. She said we should stop, as she was worried about me smashing into a building, lol . Damn, I maybe I shouldn't have taken that 8 month break (I was doing lessons last year but gave up simply because I was crap). I would like to know how to drive as a useful skill, I've just been finding it so difficult, it's frustrating. I posted in H&R about it, other people with depression said they managed to learn how to drive. So it's just like why can't I? There are millions of people in the world who can drive, yet I can't seem to grasp it. Something in my mind seems to just be holding me back. I may as well just leave it till the summer after exams are out of the way, then I guess it's more time to work on it and less pressure.

    Argh, I've still been waiting for a counselling appointment for more than two months now, a little frustrating. I may just go down to my GP again and ask for anti depressants to be taking in time for my exams. I feel a little embarrassed about it though, is it possible they could downright refuse to prescribe them?

    On the plus side, I'm a rep now , just trying something new. It's been fun exploring the new features I have access to.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I've been feeling kinda crap, really couldn't sleep after lying in bed for about an hour, so I gave up and came on the computer again. Damn, I addicted . I'm just gonna offload on here as that's what I feel like doing right now. I'm just listening to some calm soothing music at the moment though. Someone on TSR (I forgot who know, I'd like to find and +rep him) told me about Laura Marling, I really like this song by her called My Manic and I, though I think it might be about depression. I actually know quite a few depressing songs, though they don't really depress me as such, they're just lovely to listen to and compliment my moods.



    I really hope to get some school work done in this Easter break, as I haven't done any thus far. Motivation is lacking again , but since it's Tuesday today all the shops and libraries will be open again, so at least I have the option of going out, for some fresh air and a different environment.

    I'm sad about the other day, when I tried to do driving practice with my mum in a car park, but I could barely get the car moving properly, despite going through the instructions in the driving manual that I have. She said we should stop, as she was worried about me smashing into a building, lol . Damn, I maybe I shouldn't have taken that 8 month break (I was doing lessons last year but gave up simply because I was crap). I would like to know how to drive as a useful skill, I've just been finding it so difficult, it's frustrating. I posted in H&R about it, other people with depression said they managed to learn how to drive. So it's just like why can't I? There are millions of people in the world who can drive, yet I can't seem to grasp it. Something in my mind seems to just be holding me back. I may as well just leave it till the summer after exams are out of the way, then I guess it's more time to work on it and less pressure.

    Argh, I've still been waiting for a counselling appointment for more than two months now, a little frustrating. I may just go down to my GP again and ask for anti depressants to be taking in time for my exams. I feel a little embarrassed about it though, is it possible they could downright refuse to prescribe them?

    On the plus side, I'm a rep now , just trying something new. It's been fun exploring the new features I have access to.
    Nice song. The animation in it remind me of the character in the adult swim schizophrenzy game :p: I really like this for depressing songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHDbCC0Ongs

    Don't worry about the driving. I tried to learn er...4 years ago (**** I'm old) and just couldn't get it. I felt like crap the whole time and my anxiety wouldn't let me drive without worrying, weirdly, about getting in other drivers' way, so I gave up. I think you do need to be in the right frame of mind to learn to drive, it takes a lot of concentration and effort and if your head isn't in the right place I think it's very difficult to do it. What's the rush? I think waiting until the summer is a good idea for the reasons you gave.

    Yeah GPs can refuse to give you anti-depressants, it's up to each one but if you're feeling really bad then it's worth a try. Tbh from what I've read here and on other sites British GPs tend to hand them out like candy so it's unlikely they'll refuse. How old are you though? If you're under 18 they can be a bit weird about it, and I think they're only meant to prescribe fluoxetine for under 18s but some won't even do that. I should add that anti-depressants take a while to actually start working like can be anything up to around 8 weeks and they can have nasty side effects which may make it harder for you to do your exams. They can also make you feel worse to start with, another reason to be careful about taking them right before exams. I'm not trying to put you off btw, it's up to you if you think they'll help but sometimes doctors don't explain everything so definitely give it some thought and maybe like research them online or here or where ever first just so you know what you're getting into.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Nice song. The animation in it remind me of the character in the adult swim schizophrenzy game :p: I really like this for depressing songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHDbCC0Ongs

    Don't worry about the driving. I tried to learn er...4 years ago (**** I'm old) and just couldn't get it. I felt like crap the whole time and my anxiety wouldn't let me drive without worrying, weirdly, about getting in other drivers' way, so I gave up. I think you do need to be in the right frame of mind to learn to drive, it takes a lot of concentration and effort and if your head isn't in the right place I think it's very difficult to do it. What's the rush? I think waiting until the summer is a good idea for the reasons you gave.

    Yeah GPs can refuse to give you anti-depressants, it's up to each one but if you're feeling really bad then it's worth a try. Tbh from what I've read here and on other sites British GPs tend to hand them out like candy so it's unlikely they'll refuse. How old are you though? If you're under 18 they can be a bit weird about it, and I think they're only meant to prescribe fluoxetine for under 18s but some won't even do that. I should add that anti-depressants take a while to actually start working like can be anything up to around 8 weeks and they can have nasty side effects which may make it harder for you to do your exams. They can also make you feel worse to start with, another reason to be careful about taking them right before exams. I'm not trying to put you off btw, it's up to you if you think they'll help but sometimes doctors don't explain everything so definitely give it some thought and maybe like research them online or here or where ever first just so you know what you're getting into.
    Hi, thanks for the reply, and nice song :yep: . The first time I went to the GP about depression, the doctor didn't want to give me pills because of my age (this was last summer and I was 17 at the time), so I thought fair enough. He just told me to get out more, hang with my friends, get help in school, that sort of thing. Which I'd pretty much already been doing, but yeah, I tried to get on with things. But I was still feeling depressed so I went to see another GP in January, who didn't give me pills either, she just referred me to a mental health group who are supposed to be sending me a counselling appointment, I haven't had one and it's been over two months. I did recently buy a CBT book, and will try this CBT site that I got sent on this thread, but I dunno, I do feel like I need something a little extra. I will try to book a doctor's appointment in the morning to ask for pills, and see how I go from there.

    Anyway, thanks for the message, I hope things are fine with you?
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Hi, thanks for the reply, and nice song :yep: . The first time I went to the GP about depression, the doctor didn't want to give me pills because of my age (this was last summer and I was 17 at the time), so I thought fair enough. He just told me to get out more, hang with my friends, get help in school, that sort of thing. Which I'd pretty much already been doing, but yeah, I tried to get on with things. But I was still feeling depressed so I went to see another GP in January, who didn't give me pills either, she just referred me to a mental health group who are supposed to be sending me a counselling appointment, I haven't had one and it's been over two months. I did recently buy a CBT book, and will try this CBT site that I got sent on this thread, but I dunno, I do feel like I need something a little extra. I will try to book a doctor's appointment in the morning to ask for pills, and see how I go from there.

    Anyway, thanks for the message, I hope things are fine with you?
    As long as you've given what they recommended a good try and it hasn't had any effect I don't really see why they would still refuse to prescribe anti-depressants. But then I'm not a doctor :p: Have you tried reminding the mental health group that you exist or you could just give them a call and ask if they've had any cancellations?

    Yeah I'm alright, just a supermassive headache. meh.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    As long as you've given what they recommended a good try and it hasn't had any effect I don't really see why they would still refuse to prescribe anti-depressants. But then I'm not a doctor :p: Have you tried reminding the mental health group that you exist or you could just give them a call and ask if they've had any cancellations?

    Yeah I'm alright, just a supermassive headache. meh.
    No, I haven't really contacted the group since February, but I guess I may as well give it a try. I've also been waiting ages for a hospital appointment about a separate matter, but at least they've given me a date of next Monday, so now that's one less thing to worry about. But yeah, counselling still needs sorting out. Wow, I've hardly slept a wink tonight, and the birds are already chirping :o:. That's me knocked out for the whole afternoon then.

    Sorry to hear about your headache :console:, I hope it heals soon.
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    I need to work today, but I'm still in bed on my laptop like I have been all morning. Need to get up, shower, make lunch then go to Costa to do some work. Costa because I know if I try going to the library I won't make it, so coffee is a half way point where I can work. But I don't seem to have the motivation to get up. I have to work though, 31 days til dissertation deadline (which I haven't started! 10,000 words!), 24 days for one essay (2,500), and 20 days for another essay (2,250) and I still don't have the fear. Why can't I work?!?!
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    (Original post by Zebrastripes)
    I need to work today, but I'm still in bed on my laptop like I have been all morning. Need to get up, shower, make lunch then go to Costa to do some work. Costa because I know if I try going to the library I won't make it, so coffee is a half way point where I can work. But I don't seem to have the motivation to get up. I have to work though, 31 days til dissertation deadline (which I haven't started! 10,000 words!), 24 days for one essay (2,500), and 20 days for another essay (2,250) and I still don't have the fear. Why can't I work?!?!
    :hugs: I know how that feels, not being able to work. Try and get the motivation from the fact that if you don't do it, you'll fail and feel even worse, but if you do do it, and do it well, you'll feel happy. Hope you have a good day today :yep: .
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    I am so fed up. I don't even feel really depressed, just cold and empty. I feel like you have to swallow a mouthful of pills before anybody listens to you. And even then, they just send you home with a slap on the wrist.
    What's the point in having a keyworker if when you tell them how you're feeling, they just reply with, "I'm sorry you're feeling that way"?

    I can't be bothered with life anymore.
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    (Original post by Fail Whale)
    I am so fed up. I don't even feel really depressed, just cold and empty. I feel like you have to swallow a mouthful of pills before anybody listens to you. And even then, they just send you home with a slap on the wrist.
    What's the point in having a keyworker if when you tell them how you're feeling, they just reply with, "I'm sorry you're feeling that way"?

    I can't be bothered with life anymore.
    I've felt the same in the past..feeling the need that people won't take my case 'seriously' only because I'm not stupid enough to attempt to end it and upset everyone around me

    Keyworkers are all clueless anyway. Support groups are much better because then you definintely know people have to some degree felt what you felt :yep:
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    :cry:

    Feeling down again. It would be so much easier right now to just sleep and never wake up. I really don't want to be here right now. I'm such a freaking screw up, a let down and an idiot. I can't take this anymore, I don't want to.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :cry:

    Feeling down again. It would be so much easier right now to just sleep and never wake up. I really don't want to be here right now. I'm such a freaking screw up, a let down and an idiot. I can't take this anymore, I don't want to.
    Now now remember what you told me the other day Nothing is worth not waking up again I'm in a good mood this evening so if you want to talk about it please PM me

    It's the least I could do :yep:
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    (Original post by SharpDressedMan)
    Now now remember what you told me the other day Nothing is worth not waking up again I'm in a good mood this evening so if you want to talk about it please PM me

    It's the least I could do :yep:
    Thanks, but I just want out right now. At the very least I want to sh again - I've already hit myself today, what more is sh? I hate that I'm obviously not depressed - neither my doctors nor the mental health guy think so - but I can't seem to stop thinking and feeling likes this, and I hate it.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i have been breaking down a lot recently. now is not the right time though. im in the last haul of my a levels and i need to pass them for everyones sake. so i cant break down. yet its out of my control and its happening and its so sad. argh. help me. god. my mental condition is deteriorating. its only a matter of time. ive been so hopeless for so long its slowly crushing my soul; ever cell of it. arfgggggh.
    hi malsy! long time no see!!!!!! Sorry to hear you've been breaking down . I've not been to well myself. I've been having lots of mood swings and am paranoid that everyone hates me. I just avoid people now because i am afraid i will offend them in some way if i talk to them

    Hope you have a good evening

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    :cry: I feel so crap right now.

    It's 28C outside and I'm cowering here feeling like ****. I want to go outside but I'm scared. Feeling super triggered too, made the mistake of looking at my arm then counting all the scars. The number is so high it's just made me feel a million times worse
 
 
 
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