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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I let my mum down today as I'm too ******* scared to go outside so can't help her with something, I'm pathetic. Everything I try to do I fail at. Why do I still keep trying? I know I'm just going to **** up. :/ I want to give up.
    Dont give up :hugs: we have so much faith in you, and i know you cant see it but things will get better. I promise/ You arent pathetic, :hugs: you will get through this I promise.
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    I hate my brother. he treats me like i'm nothing and it just brings all the abuse back.

    He comes down this morning and says i'm ******* disgusting because I made the kitchen stink. I made ******* egg on toast for webbers breakfast. and then I opened the back door.

    then he says I'm filthy because I'm in the middle of dying my hair so the packet and my hairbrush are still in the bathroom.

    oh, and i'm a spiteful ***** because I asked him not to hang his towel on my living room door.

    He's been awake less than 2 hours and he's picked on every single thing I've done. I barely feel like I can leave my own bedroom any more.

    oh, also I took his dog out thismorning (I take him out every day because my brother won't walk him) and my brother had a go at me because it was raining and he got wet. apparently you don't have to walk a dog every day, or even once a week. so i'm not allowed to walk him if it's not sunny any more.
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    (Original post by starchild)
    Dont give up :hugs: we have so much faith in you, and i know you cant see it but things will get better. I promise/ You arent pathetic, :hugs: you will get through this I promise.
    Thanks Starchild. Things haven't got better in years though, they only keep getting worse.


    (Original post by death.drop)
    I hate my brother. he treats me like i'm nothing and it just brings all the abuse back.

    He comes down this morning and says i'm ******* disgusting because I made the kitchen stink. I made ******* egg on toast for webbers breakfast. and then I opened the back door.

    then he says I'm filthy because I'm in the middle of dying my hair so the packet and my hairbrush are still in the bathroom.

    oh, and i'm a spiteful ***** because I asked him not to hang his towel on my living room door.

    He's been awake less than 2 hours and he's picked on every single thing I've done. I barely feel like I can leave my own bedroom any more.

    oh, also I took his dog out thismorning (I take him out every day because my brother won't walk him) and my brother had a go at me because it was raining and he got wet. apparently you don't have to walk a dog every day, or even once a week. so i'm not allowed to walk him if it's not sunny any more.
    how old's your brother? he just sounds like a really immature teenager. I have a 16 year old brother who acts a lot like that when he's feeling like being a ****** to everyone but he can also be ok when he's not in a mood. I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better as you still have to put up with it....sorry. :console:

    Does he realise he's hurting you?
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    I hate my brother. he treats me like i'm nothing and it just brings all the abuse back.

    He comes down this morning and says i'm ******* disgusting because I made the kitchen stink. I made ******* egg on toast for webbers breakfast. and then I opened the back door.

    then he says I'm filthy because I'm in the middle of dying my hair so the packet and my hairbrush are still in the bathroom.

    oh, and i'm a spiteful ***** because I asked him not to hang his towel on my living room door.

    He's been awake less than 2 hours and he's picked on every single thing I've done. I barely feel like I can leave my own bedroom any more.

    oh, also I took his dog out thismorning (I take him out every day because my brother won't walk him) and my brother had a go at me because it was raining and he got wet. apparently you don't have to walk a dog every day, or even once a week. so i'm not allowed to walk him if it's not sunny any more.
    Your brother sounds like a horrible person, I know what it's like, my sister is much the same

    You just need to be strong, don't let him get to you, remember you're the better person :hugs:
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    Oh and also it really got me don yesterday thinking about school stuff and how i've underachieved and the fact that its screwed everything up.
    you haven't underachieved. Be proud with what you have got. :hugs: it certainly hasn't screwed anything up :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    how old's your brother? he just sounds like a really immature teenager. I have a 16 year old brother who acts a lot like that when he's feeling like being a ****** to everyone but he can also be ok when he's not in a mood. I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better as you still have to put up with it....sorry. :console:

    Does he realise he's hurting you?
    He's nearly 19. Mum let him get away with anything after she broke up with his dad when he was 13 and things have just got worse and worse since then.
    he definitely knows he's hurting me. Today I started crying because I asked him just to leave me alone and he said no he wasn't going to effing leave me alone, he could do what he liked. Then when I started crying he said "what the eff are you crying about? you're pathetic. just go kill yourself because I don't want to live with you any more you disgusting word-I-cant-type-but-starts-with-a-c."

    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    Your brother sounds like a horrible person, I know what it's like, my sister is much the same

    You just need to be strong, don't let him get to you, remember you're the better person :hugs:
    Thanks for the support both of you, I really appreciate it. I'm falling apart at the moment and any time I pick myself up a little bit he just knocks me right down.

    I cut myself last night as well. I feel like i'm taking steps backward all the time.


    oh, and to top it all I've just half dried my hair and it's actually luminous orange. now I feel even more hideous than I was this morning.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    morning everyone.

    just wanna rant a little: argh. i disgust myself. i just can't believe what ive done; ruined my whole life. i could be doing so many things right now but physically can't. mehmehmeh
    You're not disgusting, nor will you have done anything that bad.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    I honestly have; to the point that I can't even go out and live a life:/
    What is it that you did exactly? If you don't want to say, just PM me please :hugs:
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i don't want to say
    :hugs: It's okay, just remember, you've not done anything wrong, you're a good person...
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i don't want to say
    I'm sure whatever you've done isn't that bad. We all make mistakes and we can all come back from them.
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    Shall I give up my dreams because of money?
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    (Original post by starchild)
    Shall I give up my dreams because of money?
    Never give up a dream, just postpone it
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    (Original post by starchild)
    Shall I give up my dreams because of money?
    what dream is it? how much money do you need?
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    He's nearly 19. Mum let him get away with anything after she broke up with his dad when he was 13 and things have just got worse and worse since then.
    he definitely knows he's hurting me. Today I started crying because I asked him just to leave me alone and he said no he wasn't going to effing leave me alone, he could do what he liked. Then when I started crying he said "what the eff are you crying about? you're pathetic. just go kill yourself because I don't want to live with you any more you disgusting word-I-cant-type-but-starts-with-a-c."


    Thanks for the support both of you, I really appreciate it. I'm falling apart at the moment and any time I pick myself up a little bit he just knocks me right down.

    I cut myself last night as well. I feel like i'm taking steps backward all the time.


    oh, and to top it all I've just half dried my hair and it's actually luminous orange. now I feel even more hideous than I was this morning.
    same here. Since my parents split up my little brother gets away with anything, he swore (f word) at my mum yesterday and yet she just let him do it whereas if I even swear at the computer I get shouted at.

    I think like bruce says try to rise above it, you're the better person. Your brother sounds pretty spoilt and immature so recognise that and try to put yourself above the situation. :hugs: It's hard but don't let him get to you, talk to your friends or get out the house, perhaps offer to give the dog a bath if you got him dirty? That'd be a way to get some time away from your brother.
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    what dream is it? how much money do you need?
    I was worried about the costs of a PGCE, and now Jonathan has persuaded to carry on my dream
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    (Original post by starchild)
    I was worried about the costs of a PGCE, and now Jonathan has persuaded to carry on my dream
    well done.
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    Don't see the point in anything anymore. I'll never achieve what I want so why am I still trying? Going to uni, trying to do stupid reading, not cutting, bothering to get up and shower and eat, what's the point? I want to destroy myself completely I'm fed up of living like this I can't do it any longer. I'm scared all the ******* time. My ******* dad hasn't called in months, I even text him asking him to but nothing. My brother has lost my xbox controller so I can't lose myself playing that. My mum is doing her usual I'm disappointed in you tremendously but I'm trying to hide it. I have uni starting again soon where I have zero friends, no one would care if I didn't go, no one would even notice if I wasn't there. Actually I lie, they'd be happy the total weirdo who always sits on their own isn't there and they wouldn't be forced by the lecturer to include the weirdo in group work anymore.
    I can't do the course. I can't do life. I can't do anything.
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    Depression day today

    My dad felt the need to tell me that his girlfriend's ex-hubby rang her today to ask for a divorce. I think the only thing that was stopping my dad and her getting married was the fact that she's ALREADY married. So that means they can get married now. And if they think I'm going to be happy when they tell me they're getting married, they can forget it.

    My dad got with her 4 months after my mum died. I feel uncomfortable with the fact that she sleeps in my mum's bed, and that she comes here and stays here for days. She thinks she lives here. The other day she told me she'd reorganised the stuff on my cork board in my bedroom to make it look less messy. I was fuming. I'm still rather mad about it now. I wish she would **** off and get out of my life

    Just because she works in a hospital (she's a HCA, and didn't correct me with the fact I thought she was a nurse for AGES) she thinks she knows everything I'm going to do at university (i'm studying nursing) and she thinks she knows EVERYTHING that there is to know about nursing.

    SHE CAN **** OFF.

    I'm just so angry at the world today. For the past few days I have slept practically all day due to the high doses of mirtazapine I've been taking. I have none left now, so I can't take anymore. I haven't taken my prozac for about a week because I keep forgetting, and by the time I remember its usually around 5pm. This is probably why I feel so sad

    The smallest things are winding me off the clock, and I am so close to harming myself.
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    I hate this house, I hate my family, I hate my life. I just want out :cry:
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    (Original post by melting_snow)
    Depression day today

    My dad felt the need to tell me that his girlfriend's ex-hubby rang her today to ask for a divorce. I think the only thing that was stopping my dad and her getting married was the fact that she's ALREADY married. So that means they can get married now. And if they think I'm going to be happy when they tell me they're getting married, they can forget it.

    My dad got with her 4 months after my mum died. I feel uncomfortable with the fact that she sleeps in my mum's bed, and that she comes here and stays here for days. She thinks she lives here. The other day she told me she'd reorganised the stuff on my cork board in my bedroom to make it look less messy. I was fuming. I'm still rather mad about it now. I wish she would **** off and get out of my life

    Just because she works in a hospital (she's a HCA, and didn't correct me with the fact I thought she was a nurse for AGES) she thinks she knows everything I'm going to do at university (i'm studying nursing) and she thinks she knows EVERYTHING that there is to know about nursing.

    SHE CAN **** OFF.

    I'm just so angry at the world today. For the past few days I have slept practically all day due to the high doses of mirtazapine I've been taking. I have none left now, so I can't take anymore. I haven't taken my prozac for about a week because I keep forgetting, and by the time I remember its usually around 5pm. This is probably why I feel so sad

    The smallest things are winding me off the clock, and I am so close to harming myself.
    I know this doesn't make things any better but your dad was probably at a loss after your mum had died, a huge part of his life was gone. his love was gone. I suppose meeting someone new so quickly might have been his attempt to get some of it back.
    have you spoken to him about how you feel? try to stress that it's nothing against her (even though you don't like her very much).

    what she did in your room wasn't a little thing at all. She was probably trying to help but didn't realise what a big deal that can be. it's an invasion of your privacy and a criticism of the way you do things but that's undoubtedly not how she intended it.

    Maybe set a daily alarm to remind you about your pills, and go to the doctor to get more medication if you need it.
 
 
 
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