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    I've just realised that I can't even see the appeal of going to sleep. Nothing seems good right now. The only thing worth living for is the fact that I can't do that to my family.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I've just realised that I can't even see the appeal of going to sleep. Nothing seems good right now. The only thing worth living for is the fact that I can't do that to my family.
    Oh God I'm in this mood now too

    I thought I'd get myself an early night but then I had morbid dreams about mutilating myself and breaing stuff. I've just woken up sweating and i's freezing in here

    I seriously feel like ending..seeing as I might've just lost one of my closest friends for calling someone he likes nasty things..when it's clear that cunt doesn't like me anyway..I can appreaciate him being mates with him to be call me a cunt because I think he's a **** for treating me bad is stupid :mad:

    My social life is now seriously doomed forever I need professional help pronto and now I'm deadly scared to leave the house And there's less than 8 weeks left to get all my coursework done and make sure it's of a high enough standard to get into uni hello **** life I'm having such morbid thoughts
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    On top of that I can't seem to cry Despite having a feeling that I need to burst out into tears I just can't cry
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I've just realised that I can't even see the appeal of going to sleep. Nothing seems good right now. The only thing worth living for is the fact that I can't do that to my family.
    :hugs: I'm really sorry to hear that. What's wrong, is it anything specific or just general ?

    How is everyone? I haven't been TSRing for the last few weeks as everything has been a bit hectic
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    (Original post by SharpDressedMan)
    Oh God I'm in this mood now too

    I thought I'd get myself an early night but then I had morbid dreams about mutilating myself and breaing stuff. I've just woken up sweating and i's freezing in here

    I seriously feel like ending..seeing as I might've just lost one of my closest friends for calling someone he likes nasty things..when it's clear that cunt doesn't like me anyway..I can appreaciate him being mates with him to be call me a cunt because I think he's a **** for treating me bad is stupid :mad:

    My social life is now seriously doomed forever I need professional help pronto and now I'm deadly scared to leave the house And there's less than 8 weeks left to get all my coursework done and make sure it's of a high enough standard to get into uni hello **** life I'm having such morbid thoughts
    :hugs:

    Your friend will come back around, IMO it sounds like he overreacted, just give him time to cool off. Friends are fickle creatures, but it soon becomes clear which ones are worth fighting for and keeping around.

    8 weeks is ages. I only had 3 pieces of coursework, but in total only dedicated about 5 days to all of them - you have over 8 times that time! I'm sure you'll get into uni :console:

    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    :hugs: I'm really sorry to hear that. What's wrong, is it anything specific or just general ?

    How is everyone? I haven't been TSRing for the last few weeks as everything has been a bit hectic
    Just general stuff. I was being really... I don't know. I don't really feel like that anymore just a bit... Not numb, but not really real feelings either.

    How're you?
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    FMFL! Don't want to go into details but basically I've let people down AGAIN! I flipping hate myself, can't even concentrate on revision because I'm such a useless waste of space, my head is just spinning, I just wish I was dead, wish I had the guts to do it, to put everyone out of their misery. I can't stand being on this stupid planet any longer, life is for the living like they say but I don't feel like I'm living, just exisiting...I'm sick of it all, everything, I just want to be left alone, I'm fed up. I just want to be someone else damn it, so messed up, everything is a mess.... :cry:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    FMFL! Don't want to go into details but basically I've let people down AGAIN! I flipping hate myself, can't even concentrate on revision because I'm such a useless waste of space, my head is just spinning, I just wish I was dead, wish I had the guts to do it, to put everyone out of their misery. I can't stand being on this stupid planet any longer, life is for the living like they say but I don't feel like I'm living, just exisiting...I'm sick of it all, everything, I just want to be left alone, I'm fed up. I just want to be someone else damn it, so messed up, everything is a mess.... :cry:
    :hugs: There are people who love you and want you around. Things are going to improve for you, you probably can't see it now, but they will and then you can look back on now and realise how strong you were and what a wonderful person you are. :console:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: There are people who love you and want you around. Things are going to improve for you, you probably can't see it now, but they will and then you can look back on now and realise how strong you were and what a wonderful person you are. :console:
    :hugs: thanks for that. My sister had to talk some sense into about the whole situation which helped.

    I'm just fed up of being bullied into things and being made to feel like **** if I don't do what people tell me to, I already know I'm a let down, I don't need reminding...I'm too sensitive for my own good.
    I don't want to use my anxiety as an excuse to get out of things but I just get scared about the unknown, I hate not being in control and not knowing what will happen. I'm just scared that I will get an attack and be so helpless like I was when I first moved to Uni. I don't ever want to feel like that again...
    I guess I just have to continue existing hoping that one day things will get better, thats all I have left, hope and faith.

    How are things for you in terms of student finance etc?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs: thanks for that. My sister had to talk some sense into about the whole situation which helped.

    I'm just fed up of being bullied into things and being made to feel like **** if I don't do what people tell me to, I already know I'm a let down, I don't need reminding...I'm too sensitive for my own good.
    I don't want to use my anxiety as an excuse to get out of things but I just get scared about the unknown, I hate not being in control and not knowing what will happen. I'm just scared that I will get an attack and be so helpless like I was when I first moved to Uni. I don't ever want to feel like that again...
    I guess I just have to continue existing hoping that one day things will get better, thats all I have left, hope and faith.

    How are things for you in terms of student finance etc?
    :hugs: You are not a let down, that will just be your illness talking. Things will get better, they will!

    I've left it for now, I'd rather have panic attacks over my complete lack of studying :awesome: Something that I should be doing now :sigh:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: You are not a let down, that will just be your illness talking. Things will get better, they will!

    I've left it for now, I'd rather have panic attacks over my complete lack of studying :awesome: Something that I should be doing now :sigh:
    Ah gosh I need to be revising too I knew I shouldn't have come home, I'm even more distracted now :rolleyes: . Try not to get too worked up about the whole student finance ( easier said than done I know) but just concentrate on jumping the hurdle of your exams. Good luck with it :hugs:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Ah gosh I need to be revising too I knew I shouldn't have come home, I'm even more distracted now :rolleyes: . Try not to get too worked up about the whole student finance ( easier said than done I know) but just concentrate on jumping the hurdle of your exams. Good luck with it :hugs:
    Thanks and thanks for the rep.

    Yeah, I'm trying to ignore it, but it's due quite soon.

    Anyway, study time... :work:
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    I've had enough of feeling like this. I can't see the point or attraction in anything: work, friends, going to sleep, staying awake... To top it all off, I constantly want to comfort eat, but don't see the point in eating and I'm hungry all the bloody time. I've been very close to relapsing with my eating disorder recently so any change in appetite isn't good. I just hate this. :cry:

    I don't even talk to friends anymore, and I don't want to see any of them or have to talk or smile or make myself presentable. :cry:
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    Hi Im new to this site.
    Ive been depressed for about 2 years but its got really bad lately and im so sick of it, i just want to live a normal life
    . I literally have no friends now because Im so boring these days tht no1 wants to no me. I really want to change and get over my depression bt dnt no hw to. Im on antidepressents n they have helped a bit. any1 got any advice? Has any1 managed to get over depression?
    xx
    x
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    (Original post by lucyxx10)
    Hi Im new to this site.
    Ive been depressed for about 2 years but its got really bad lately and im so sick of it, i just want to live a normal life
    . I literally have no friends now because Im so boring these days tht no1 wants to no me. I really want to change and get over my depression bt dnt no hw to. Im on antidepressents n they have helped a bit. any1 got any advice? Has any1 managed to get over depression?
    xx
    x
    Hi Lucy. Welcome to the site Sorry to hear it's been getting worse recently. Have you tried talking to a counsellor as well as taking antidpressents? I have no friends either, and feel so boring when I am with the people I know (I wouldn't really call them friends). Do you have anyone that you can talk to? I know it's so so hard, but try and get out there. It's so easy to keep hidden away, but it doesn't help, even if for the time it makes you feel good, in the long run it does nothing.
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    (Original post by lucyxx10)
    Hi Im new to this site.
    Ive been depressed for about 2 years but its got really bad lately and im so sick of it, i just want to live a normal life
    . I literally have no friends now because Im so boring these days tht no1 wants to no me. I really want to change and get over my depression bt dnt no hw to. Im on antidepressents n they have helped a bit. any1 got any advice? Has any1 managed to get over depression?
    xx
    x
    i've never had a friend either. And i'm suffering from depression and 5 years on, still battling from it! You've found the right community of people here, welcome! . I really can't suggest ways of recovering from it. I'm just co existing with it and mediating it's effects by going rock climbing etc.

    any questions, just ask, but i think a good start is to take up a sport...good way to meet and talk to people even if you don't keep in touch outside the sessions, and it makes u feel good

    blue
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    (Original post by Zebrastripes)
    Hi Lucy. Welcome to the site Sorry to hear it's been getting worse recently. Have you tried talking to a counsellor as well as taking antidpressents? I have no friends either, and feel so boring when I am with the people I know (I wouldn't really call them friends). Do you have anyone that you can talk to? I know it's so so hard, but try and get out there. It's so easy to keep hidden away, but it doesn't help, even if for the time it makes you feel good, in the long run it does nothing.
    No I havent tried a counsellor becuase I live in such a remote place. I would have to drive about 30miles to see 1. bt im considering it. have u tried tht?

    most ppl i talk to dnt understand bcoz they havent experienced it. they just think I choose to be unhappy. grr

    x
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    i've never had a friend either. And i'm suffering from depression and 5 years on, still battling from it! You've found the right community of people here, welcome! . I really can't suggest ways of recovering from it. I'm just co existing with it and mediating it's effects by going rock climbing etc.

    any questions, just ask, but i think a good start is to take up a sport...good way to meet and talk to people even if you don't keep in touch outside the sessions, and it makes u feel good

    blue


    thanks sports a good idea will give it a try! x
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I've had enough of feeling like this. I can't see the point or attraction in anything: work, friends, going to sleep, staying awake... To top it all off, I constantly want to comfort eat, but don't see the point in eating and I'm hungry all the bloody time. I've been very close to relapsing with my eating disorder recently so any change in appetite isn't good. I just hate this. :cry:

    I don't even talk to friends anymore, and I don't want to see any of them or have to talk or smile or make myself presentable. :cry:
    :jumphugs: I can completely relate, I'm feeling the same, I just don't want to do this anymore, I'm just so scared and tired of everything I eat I feel sick, I think about food and I feel sick. I just don't know why everything is too much so close to the exams...what do I tell everyone if I mess up my life?
    I'm feeling so disconnected from my friends too, they are so eager to meet up and make plans to spend time together but the constant fear and depression...I just want to sleep once exams are over, I want to loose myself in a good book and never have to face reality again. They think I'm just being selfish, and I know I am but I haven't told them whats been going on.

    Try to stay strong especially where the eating is concerned, like you told me think of food as fuel not as a big mountain you have to climb. Don't think negatively, don't think that you will relaps, you are stronger than that, you have come this far to recover from it so what makes you think you will go back?
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    Hi everybody, just hope that you're all doing OK, hugs to everyone who needs them - and keep strong! :cute:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :jumphugs: I can completely relate, I'm feeling the same, I just don't want to do this anymore, I'm just so scared and tired of everything I eat I feel sick, I think about food and I feel sick. I just don't know why everything is too much so close to the exams...what do I tell everyone if I mess up my life?
    I'm feeling so disconnected from my friends too, they are so eager to meet up and make plans to spend time together but the constant fear and depression...I just want to sleep once exams are over, I want to loose myself in a good book and never have to face reality again. They think I'm just being selfish, and I know I am but I haven't told them whats been going on.

    Try to stay strong especially where the eating is concerned, like you told me think of food as fuel not as a big mountain you have to climb. Don't think negatively, don't think that you will relaps, you are stronger than that, you have come this far to recover from it so what makes you think you will go back?
    :hugs: You're not being selfish, and true friends will see that. I find that my known mental health problems (don't yet know if I have depression/anxiety/OCD) get worse around exam time too - it's the stress of exams causing me to run to something that I think I can control (food), of course I'm being controlled by what's left of my ED, rather than being in control. This then increases stress as I have more to worry about and am less able to study etc.

    It's a vicous cycle that I'm still trying to break (last year's exams were horrible because I relapsed quite badly). So try to break the cycle if you can :console:

    I do think of it as fuel when I get like this, I have to. I don't want to relapse again and am going to do everything I can to avoid relapsing. It is possible to recover from an ED :jumphug:
 
 
 
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