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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Hey, haven't seen you in aaaaages. You alright?

    Meh just been feeling really **** past few days, can't read properly, crying a lot, everything is going down hill. I'm sure all my doctors are completely wrong only I'm worried about telling them that.
    Yeah I've had an unusually busy few weeks. I'm alright thanks, gradually pulling things back together I think.

    Sorry to hear you've had a bad few days :hugs: Is it lack of concentration or are you having the problems where you can't see/focus on the page, etc? I hate those times when you can't stop crying I found I have them less now that I'm taking the pill back-to-back (sodding hormones) - though of course I can't do that forever... What are your doctors saying? Don't be worried about talking to them: you have a right to tell them how you feel, etc - after all, only you really have the answer to that. In my experience it can be so frustrating when doctors seem to think they know you better than you know yourself...
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    yup it was for your return and some working class pro labour people pos repped me for standing up against posh tory scumhttp://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/rolleyes.gif Woo!
    Yay I get to vote for the first time in the upcoming election -feels like a really flat moment to enter the voting arena... but still really hoping the Tories don't get in
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Yeah I've had an unusually busy few weeks. I'm alright thanks, gradually pulling things back together I think.

    Sorry to hear you've had a bad few days :hugs: Is it lack of concentration or are you having the problems where you can't see/focus on the page, etc? I hate those times when you can't stop crying I found I have them less now that I'm taking the pill back-to-back (sodding hormones) - though of course I can't do that forever... What are your doctors saying? Don't be worried about talking to them: you have a right to tell them how you feel, etc - after all, only you really have the answer to that. In my experience it can be so frustrating when doctors seem to think they know you better than you know yourself...
    Good to hear you're alright. been doing anything fun over these few weeks or just work?

    It's both lack of concentration and words keep moving around so really hard to focus on. Gives me huge headaches trying. The doctors are wrong, they keep making up stuff is wrong with me so they can give me various pills but if they were correct then these pills would actually work, given that they do nothing but make me fat and stupid it's fairly obvious they're just making it all up. I told my last psychiatrist this and she was just like "yeah I'd get fired if I did that" well no, because no one would find out :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by LC155)
    Oh man, here we go.

    Currently, I am in Secondary school, in my 5th year. I am currently taking 4 Highers, (English, Computing, Graphics & Art & Design). I would have taken Higher maths but I completely ****** up my SG (I got like 90% in the General and failed the Credit - LOL). That put me off doing Maths this year, and I just wanted a break from it. I HATE Maths, If I could, I would tear apart Math itself with my bare hands, just to hear it's agonising screams. I loathe it that much.

    Things are going fine in those subjects, I'm passing them all, just need to bump grades up in a couple. The only problem is, I have NO idea what the hell I want to do in my life, NONE. I'm so indecisive and unmotivated to the point of insanity. I only took these subjects because I felt I 'had' to, or I'd just be a disappointment. 6th year choice forms are out, and I'm thinking of doing AH Graphics, AH Art, H Chem, H Biology and Int 2 Maths (I figure if I need any higher level of Maths I could just take a HNC or something later on). Once again, I'm only taking these subjects because I feel like I am forced to.I don't know if they are going to be worth anything. I am just so conflicted and not knowing what the **** I am supposed to do.

    I always thought I was pretty bad at Art, but surprised myself with a 1 in SG, so I took Higher to see how I'd do. I'm currently predicted for a B (My teacher has yet to see my final design piece so we'll see how that goes anyway). I got 86% in my written paper without studying, highest in the year, so that's all good. So, it seems like I'm good at creative/arty things (Even though I never do art unless I have to for school stuff, once again, the motivation stuff comes into play). I got an A2 in the prelim for graphics so that's decent too. (Just for reference, 1 mark from a B in Computing, second highest in class, and a failic C in English because I screwed up the close reading). I just don't study enough, and I know this, because I lack the motivation because my life is just full of depressive moments that only exist to throw me into some deep abyss that I can't crawl my way back out from.

    Anyway, I just don't know what I enjoy doing in life anymore, and I hate it. I'm so conflicted. Do I want a creative route? Or go to Science? (When I was younger I always had a passion for science and I got a 1 in my SG Chem with pretty much 0 study). It's just that I lost this passion after the math aspect came into play, because I find no enjoyment in it at all, all Math serves to do is just piss me off royally. That's why I'm experimenting by taking the two Highers in Science this year, to see how I like them, but I just don't know anymore.

    I hate being so down and depressed, but I don't feel like professional help is the option. "Here, take this pill and go feel better". Um, no thanks. I don't want some drug induced happiness, I want REAL happiness. I just have no damn idea how to do this, all school does is depress the living crap out of my since I have no idea what I want to do in life, and living in the UK itself just saddens me even more because I really, really ******* hate everything about the UK. (Must mention at this point that I don't have very many friends at all because I'm just socially awkward, so most of my days are spent inside the house as a loner, guess that makes it worse).

    Most of my friends that I actually give a damn about live in the US, and I was thinking after 6th year I should just transfer to a college in the US or something, and see if one of those people I know from the US could help me with a place to stay and curb those living expenses costs. I know they'd do anything to help me, because they know how I feel about living in the UK and my depression. Because at this point, I really feel like a change of scenery, atmosphere, and people, is what I really desire. Is this unrealistic, and I'm just trying to beg for the impossible to come save me from this kind of ****** depression? I don't think, well, KNOW, I couldn't bear another 5ish years in the UK going through Uni - especially when I have no F'ing idea what it is that I want to do in the first place! ARGH.

    I won't lie, I've had suicidal thoughts many times before and still currently do. I hate life, I'll admit. I'm depressed and lonely all of the time, but I try to make due, because right now, I don't think I have the balls to go through with actually doing away with myself. I really just don't know what to do anymore. My lack of motivation and indecisiveness is just killing me, literally. I really don't want it to get to the point where I'm like "Alright, **** this, peace out" because all I want is to be happy, I just don't know how to get this anymore.

    One thing I'm sure of though, is **** the UK. I really want to live in the US in the future.

    There is a basic summary of my crappy life right now.

    (The only thing I really seem to know I'm good at is writing, because my English teacher said my writing NAB was one of the best she's ever read, and she's nearly 70. I get people telling me my calling is writing, but once again my indecisive nature comes into play. I also find it very hard to open myself up to people - I think I have a general hatred for humanity, heh. I'm also extremely down on myself and doubt my abilities 100% of the time. I'd need a constant ego stroking squad just to keep me going haha.)
    Hi, I noticed that no one has replied to you yet, so I thought I might try to help you out. I know what it's like to feel highly unmotivated, but just think, the best you do in your subjects, the best possible future you can have, and you don't want to risk your own future by doing worse than you should have. I don't know much about Scottish Highers, as I'm doing English A Levels, but if you maybe ask your education related questions in the Scottish Highers/secondary school section of this forum you would get better advice on that. I also know what you mean about feeling confused and indecisive about what to do in life, as I do too, but I think, if you just work on the things you enjoy, things will eventually fall into place in time hopefully. I think moving to the USA sounds like a great idea, it looks like a nice country and I'm sure it could well be a good change for you and a fresh start to make you happier in life. Anyway, good luck to you in what you do, hope you cheer up :hugs:
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    I'd kind of agree with CherryCherryBoomBoom, however if I think you're feeling actually depressed then a change of scenery might make not too much difference. I mean it's worth a go, you can apply for money off at US universities if you do well in school or play sports and the change might totally change your outlook on life but I wouldn't pin all your hopes on it because sometimes it really doesn't change anything. what's that saying? the grass is greener? well yeah obviously sometimes it is but sometimes it's not so don't think it'll solve everything but by all means give it a shot.
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    I don't even know what to post... you know the feeling when your brain is buzzing with the knowledge of the universe so confusing thoughts are zapping everywhere yet on the outside you're this expressionless gargoyle? That's me right now.

    Been told I can no longer see my psychologist because that kind of therapy is not going to help me, been referred back to an outpatient unit where I'll have a CPN and Psychiatrist overseeing me. So many mixed feelings about it. Am I actually ill like they say, or are they just telling me I am and my mind is just accepting it?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'd kind of agree with CherryCherryBoomBoom, however if I think you're feeling actually depressed then a change of scenery might make not too much difference. I mean it's worth a go, you can apply for money off at US universities if you do well in school or play sports and the change might totally change your outlook on life but I wouldn't pin all your hopes on it because sometimes it really doesn't change anything. what's that saying? the grass is greener? well yeah obviously sometimes it is but sometimes it's not so don't think it'll solve everything but by all means give it a shot.
    i hate americans. are you american sabertooth? why do americans try to screw me over
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    I'm really dissapointed to post this because in the last couple of weeks things have been going well, but I'm feeling really 'down' again. In the last few weeks I have been depressed because I havn't got over depression yet, but I had been good because things have been looking up, taking time off uni' so less pressure there, dealing with problems and doing hobbies (gliding). But a few things have happened recently at home, I've fallen out with my mum. I know some people will say 'oh big deal' etc, and it isn't a big deal in the big picture of things, but when you are depressed these things get to you. And to be fair I havn't just had a pathetic argument, I've moved to my dad's. I don't know whether its permanent but you know, its just something else to worry about/something else that hasn't 'gone right'. As some of you will know from reading my many suicide threads, things have been really bad for me now for about a year, and since I've been depressed I just seem to have got one thing after the other go wrong/unfavourably etc. Since I took an overdose I've had no time when I've thought 'glad that didn't work', on the contrary I have always wished it did since I woke up in hospital and I've came close a couple of times to doing it properly.
    I don't want anyone reading this to think that I'm just stressed after argueing with my mother lol, but as I said it is one thing after the other. I know I can't expect to recover from depression over night and it might not be easy to recover from it (especially after a suicide attempt) but I just don't seem to be able to recover from depression, even with the help of drugs. I saw a mental health link worker and have got CBT coming up so hopefully that should help, but god I just feel so low at the moment, unbelievably low... .

    Note : if you reply please do remember to quote me so I know.
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    Urgh, revision. It makes me unhappy. End of. Urgh, why does it drive me insane? Or maybe I was already feeling like this and revision is just coincidental?
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    Started the day feeling like complete and utter ****, and got better after almost suffering a panic attack. Then I went on to be productive and have a rest between work and revision

    It can be done if you can find your triggers and learn how to deal with them :yep: and with determination :hugs:
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    All these black people threads are really cracking me up :rofl:, so I'm not feeling too bad at the moment because of that . Though, I still have homework to finish, silly me for leaving them last minute . I will do them though, that's an order to myself.
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    Right I'm genuinely ******* sick of myself now. My self esteem issues are REALLLLLLY driving me to the edge this evening. I've spent two hours crying because of how **** my hair is..and this is a genuine concern seeing as now it's noticeably receding so I can't stick it up and I can't fringe it down because it's thin and gappy and if I try to shave it off I'll look like stupid ********. I really don't give a **** about mushy **** like 'its inside that counts'..**** off does it..first impressions are on looks and looks alone..and I can't exactly wow people with my personality seeing as thats turned to **** thanks to the depression, anxiety and hair. Honestly..ending it is the only solution..I'm never gonna be happy with the way I look now my hair won't come back..everytime I look into the mirror I'm genuinely disgusted with myself..as other people should be/will be when they notice the hairline. There's just no hope for me..everything I try do with my hair turns out ***** in the end. My confidence is 0, my self esteem is 0, my self belief is 0. There really is no point me plodding along feeling like this EVERY SINGLE ******* EVENING!
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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    I don't even know what to post... you know the feeling when your brain is buzzing with the knowledge of the universe so confusing thoughts are zapping everywhere yet on the outside you're this expressionless gargoyle? That's me right now.

    Been told I can no longer see my psychologist because that kind of therapy is not going to help me, been referred back to an outpatient unit where I'll have a CPN and Psychiatrist overseeing me. So many mixed feelings about it. Am I actually ill like they say, or are they just telling me I am and my mind is just accepting it?
    Why not give it a go and see what happens? Maybe your psychologist can't help, how long have you been seeing them? It's worth a go with the shrink and cpn and if that doesn't work tell them.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Hi, I noticed that no one has replied to you yet, so I thought I might try to help you out. I know what it's like to feel highly unmotivated, but just think, the best you do in your subjects, the best possible future you can have, and you don't want to risk your own future by doing worse than you should have. I don't know much about Scottish Highers, as I'm doing English A Levels, but if you maybe ask your education related questions in the Scottish Highers/secondary school section of this forum you would get better advice on that. I also know what you mean about feeling confused and indecisive about what to do in life, as I do too, but I think, if you just work on the things you enjoy, things will eventually fall into place in time hopefully. I think moving to the USA sounds like a great idea, it looks like a nice country and I'm sure it could well be a good change for you and a fresh start to make you happier in life. Anyway, good luck to you in what you do, hope you cheer up :hugs:
    I know, but I'm just at the point where I've lost the will to force myself to try for a good future anymore, in my head it's just always blocked with "What is the point anymore? It never works."

    When you say, work on the things I enjoy, the problem is I don't find enjoyment out of anything anymore.

    I like the idea of moving to the US, yes, but I have no clue how the hell I'd get there, legally. Unless I have close family or am skilled with a degree in a certain field that they want, then after that I need an employer willing to sponsor me for $10,000. If not, I am screwed. Ugh.

    Thanks, though.
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    Hi so

    I was just wondering what the procedure for an appointment at a psychiatric sort of place is? See my doctor's referred me to a child/adolescent mental illness specialist on tuesday and my appointment time seems to be about an hour and a half :eek: obviously it's good that it's not going to be rushed or anything but is there a specific reason for it being that long? I'm not great at talking about my feelings, I tend to freak out when being asked lots of questions, start crying when I talk about how I feel, etc. Also my dad reckons I'm a bad one for downplaying my feelings when I feeling like I'm being judged

    So yeah, if any of you guys know what it's likely to be like, I'd be super grateful

    xk
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    (Original post by TheGhostofODonahue)
    Hi so

    I was just wondering what the procedure for an appointment at a psychiatric sort of place is? See my doctor's referred me to a child/adolescent mental illness specialist on tuesday and my appointment time seems to be about an hour and a half :eek: obviously it's good that it's not going to be rushed or anything but is there a specific reason for it being that long? I'm not great at talking about my feelings, I tend to freak out when being asked lots of questions, start crying when I talk about how I feel, etc. Also my dad reckons I'm a bad one for downplaying my feelings when I feeling like I'm being judged

    So yeah, if any of you guys know what it's likely to be like, I'd be super grateful

    xk
    Hi! I've had two of these sorts of things, it'll most likely just be an assessment. The second one was for possible depression, but wasn't with Child And Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAAMHS)The one with CAAMHS was for my eating disorder, but from the possible depression one, I'd say they're all pretty much the same.
    The CAAMHS one was about an hour long and they asked me questions about myself, relationship with my family, stuff about school, how I felt and why I felt that way. There were 2 people and they lead the conversation and there was a big box of tissues on the table in case I did burst into tears! I was pretty honest with them that time because I'd been through telling people I had an eating disorder and was partly on the road to recovery anyway.

    The one for possible depression however... It was scheduled to be about an hour if I recall correctly, but I pretty much didn't say anything to help them help me. I didn't know if I was depressed, I downplayed how I was feeling at every question and I didn't open up to them at all. This time it was only one person, and he did ask me questions, but whenever I stayed silent, rather than pushing for another answer like I'd been used to previously, he just waited. Which meant that he got no answer.

    I had a further appointment with him, as he didn't know what was best for me after the first one because I'd said next to nothing. In this next appointment, I said even less. As a result, he thought that I didn't want any help and I walked back home in tears because I really wanted some support as I was feeling one hell of a lot worse than I was letting on.

    However, in tears I spoke to a friend who was in school (via MSN haha) and he rushed off to tell a member of staff that deals with student support etc (with my permission). As soon as I got into school, she saw me and called the guy I'd had the appointment with, explaining that I did want help. Another appointment was arranged and when I turned up for that, he told me he'd referred me to some service for depression/anxiety/etc and would I like to have CBT in the meantime. This time I spoke more.


    Moral of the story: you have to be open and honest - I was the first time round and got prompt treatment and as a result am well on the path to recovery with that, however I wasn't open in the second one and very nearly missed out on any help as a result.

    How old are you? I was 16/17 at my CAAMHS one, and they let me choose whether or not I wanted my Mum to come in - if you think taking your Dad in will help, take him in. If you don't think it will, then don't. And best of luck with whatever's going on :hugs:
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    hi everyone!
    Hope you're all well today . i love london - its sunny
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Hi! I've had two of these sorts of things, it'll most likely just be an assessment. The second one was for possible depression, but wasn't with Child And Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAAMHS)The one with CAAMHS was for my eating disorder, but from the possible depression one, I'd say they're all pretty much the same.
    The CAAMHS one was about an hour long and they asked me questions about myself, relationship with my family, stuff about school, how I felt and why I felt that way. There were 2 people and they lead the conversation and there was a big box of tissues on the table in case I did burst into tears! I was pretty honest with them that time because I'd been through telling people I had an eating disorder and was partly on the road to recovery anyway.

    The one for possible depression however... It was scheduled to be about an hour if I recall correctly, but I pretty much didn't say anything to help them help me. I didn't know if I was depressed, I downplayed how I was feeling at every question and I didn't open up to them at all. This time it was only one person, and he did ask me questions, but whenever I stayed silent, rather than pushing for another answer like I'd been used to previously, he just waited. Which meant that he got no answer.

    I had a further appointment with him, as he didn't know what was best for me after the first one because I'd said next to nothing. In this next appointment, I said even less. As a result, he thought that I didn't want any help and I walked back home in tears because I really wanted some support as I was feeling one hell of a lot worse than I was letting on.

    However, in tears I spoke to a friend who was in school (via MSN haha) and he rushed off to tell a member of staff that deals with student support etc (with my permission). As soon as I got into school, she saw me and called the guy I'd had the appointment with, explaining that I did want help. Another appointment was arranged and when I turned up for that, he told me he'd referred me to some service for depression/anxiety/etc and would I like to have CBT in the meantime. This time I spoke more.


    Moral of the story: you have to be open and honest - I was the first time round and got prompt treatment and as a result am well on the path to recovery with that, however I wasn't open in the second one and very nearly missed out on any help as a result.

    How old are you? I was 16/17 at my CAAMHS one, and they let me choose whether or not I wanted my Mum to come in - if you think taking your Dad in will help, take him in. If you don't think it will, then don't. And best of luck with whatever's going on :hugs:
    Aw thanks that's super helpful. I'll probably take my dad in as he has a better understanding of these things as he seems to have had a few bipolar-type episodes in the past... and also because my mum's the sort of person that thinks saying "it's normal for teenagers to feel like this" when I'm failing at school because of my mood swings is helpful.
    I'm 16 at the moment (although I'm 17 in a couple of weeks, woo).
    Thanks again xk
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    Hi all

    I havent been on TSR for quite some time now. I didnt know my email address so made a new one. Things went quite alright for me April last year till around December. Just before Christmas I split with my partner, we were living together, we wernt together too long (18 months) but it was long enough. I then got made redundant and from then on things have spiralled out of control. I started to feel I couldnt cope anymore and kept thinking of different possible ways I could overcome this problem but nothing came along. I have now moved into my own little flat and I am still unemployed but starting to pick myself up a little bit now, one step at a time huh?
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    Well I thought I'd take a chance and spend the afternoon with my mates...boy it was **** and now I feel ****..they spent all afternoon talking about cars and stuff I don't know a thing abut and I felt more useless and anti-social than normal..and this was with my friends..then I spent the rest of the time on the verge of tears after realising how much I suck at socialising and fail at life... and starting to fall asleep at points and all which looked bad I suck at life
 
 
 
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